single SDA women's issues?

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

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MARYLAND: Resources Developed for Single Women

A resource kit has been compiled by the General Conference Women’s Ministries Department to assist Women’s Ministries directors in working with single women in their region. Information on a variety of topics of need and concern to single women is included: career development; single parenting; dating, sex, relationships; finances; divorce; widowhood; and single ministries.

“We recognize that within this group of women are a number of subgroups with widely varying experiences and needs. The topics suggested are believed to be of interest to single Adventist women,” says General Conference Women’s Ministries director Heather-Dawn Small. “We feel these areas of concern must be addressed by Women’s Ministries.”

To obtain a copy of Resources for Single Women, e-mail []womensministries@gc.adventist.org.[/]

—GC Women’s Ministries Department/AR.

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Sure glad you single men out there don't have any problems or concerns with

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career development; single parenting; dating, sex, relationships; finances; divorce; widowhood; and single ministries

<hr /></blockquote><font class="post">. []http://img.inkfrog.com/pix/Rudywoofs/icon_confused.gif[/]

OTOH, as a single SDA woman, I'm not particularly concerned with any of the listed problems/concerns. I don't have kids, I'm not dating atm, I'm celibate, I've never been married, and I have a job. What I'm searching for is a solid relationship with Christ. <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

::snorts:: silly me..

[aldona]

Society (not just the church) does have a tendency to "pigeonhole" people and put them in categories...

You were born in a particular year? Therefore you are automatically going to behave a certain way.

You work in a certain job or belong to a particular cultural group? Therefore your needs are A,B & C. No questions asked. We know.

At a medical conference a few years ago, there was a panel discussion about the problems faced by doctors' spouses when moving to rural areas, and how this is making it difficult to recruit rural doctors.

A number of middle-aged doctor's wives spoke (note, all female) and told of how they overcame such barriers as

- the inability to find a decent cafe in their country town, serving real coffee

- boredom (and how she conquered it by discovering photography)

- having to drive 4-5 hours to Melbourne to go to the opera or visit the art gallery

In my "feedback form" after the seminar, I really gave it to them - suggested that maybe they should catch up with the 21st century where over half of doctors' partners are now male, and the No. 1 problem faced by our husbands in rural practice is actually finding a JOB - somehow I don't think my better half is too interested in cafe culture or missing out on the ballet. <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/tongue1.gif" alt="" />

aldona

[Nan]

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“We recognize that within this group of women are a number of subgroups with widely varying experiences and needs. The topics suggested are believed to be of interest to single Adventist women,”

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For once I think maybe the variance within the 'group' is recognised and this is an attempt to provide resources for SDA women, who have not found such elsewhere. Especially if living in relative isolation - church or community.

And Pam, surely you would not expect the Department of Women's Ministries to address the issues of the males of the church?????? (Very TIC <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />)

In a minor way Aldona I recognise the medical comments - Sammy accompanied me to a conference last year and was definitely not interested in the various opportunities provided for partners!

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

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Nan said:And Pam, surely you would not expect the Department of Women's Ministries to address the issues of the males of the church?????? (Very TIC <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />)

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<img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> LOL. No.. btw, does the church have a *men's* ministries dept??

[Gail]

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LOL. No.. btw, does the church have a *men's* ministries dept??

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Not sure about the higher levels. Darlene would know better. Some local churches do have Men's ministries going on, but I doubt that they are as numerous as women's

[Amelia]

Our church has both a mens and womens ministries. But they are fairly new and still working out the bugs of the hows and whats of the programs.

[darlene]

The NAD Women's Ministries Director was in our Conference last year or was Arlyn Dick the GC Women's Ministries Director? Anyway, I picked her up at the Seattle Airport and took her to Camp Hope for our Women's Ministries Retreat but, I didn't stay for the retreat. When asked why I said that I didn't go to Women's Ministries Retreats because I didn't want to get torn to shreds and that I didn't feel comfortable at a Women's Ministries Retreat. I do feel much more comfortable at a Single Adult Ministries Retreat because there I am accepted just as I am. Maybe my comments are the culprit and resulted in this thing for single women?

The NAD now has a Men's Ministries Department but, I believe it still comes under Family Ministries as does Single Adult Ministries. Last year I started a Men's Ministries under my Family Ministries Department. We had a Men's Ministries workshop at camp meeting where Greg Wellman (our coordinator) presented "Wild at Heart" and then in October we had our first Men's Retreat with Randy Skeete as speaker. There were 60 men and they were so excited about it! They said they were going home and starting one in their church. I really don't know how many did do that though there were several.

Once again this year we are having a camp meeting workshop and Lee Venden is our October retreat speaker.

From the comments the men have made the ministry is really needed in our Conference.

[Gail]

You would get torn to shreds at a women's retreat?

I went to one once and it was too sugary sweet for me. I much prefer the singles retreats

[Nan]

The only time I ever attended a women's retreat was just for the afternoon and I had been asked to speak briefly about female medical issues. I enjoyed the fellowship afterwards but never could bring myself to attend for a whole weekend.

(This is probably just a character flaw in me. In various classes in my past I was the only female and thoroughly enjoyed myself - no hankypanky at all, just normal student interaction. I do have a number of close women friends who mean a great deal to me.)

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

I got talked into going to a women's retreat about a year ago. It was awful. I didn't know anybody and the chatter was inane. I couldn't even make myself stay through the first night - I gathered up my stuff and left around midnight. <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I won't put myself through something like that again...no sirree bub. []http://img.inkfrog.com/pix/Rudywoofs/shake.gif[/]

[Gail]

I think you'd do better at one of our Singles retreats. They are a lot of fun! <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

[cricket]

A serious issue here! Surely, our women's ministries departments could use a little up-dating. Women are as varied as are human beings! (And, why shouldn't we be so, we make up more than half of them?) Why then, do women's ministries events cater to only a small sub-set of women who have "issues" as suggested in the quote above?

What are married women to do--we can't join you at the singles retreats!!!

[darlene]

Perhaps if all women treated each other with acceptance and respect, whatever your marital status, that would be a very good beginning.

[Jeannieb43]

I believe some of us women are just more comfortable with coed conferences and professional societies.

I never enjoyed the Women Lawyers' Assn. in my county; they always discussed issues such as baby-sitting problems, etc. which didn't apply to me [my kids were teenagers by then]. And also, women's "rights" as they related to large law firms and "the glass ceiling" didn't apply to me, as I got along just fine without any outside intervention.

So it's probably difficult to craft an organization which meets the needs of everyone of a single gender.

[puddles]

The women's ministries group in our local conference has had fairly good success in holding their retreats at our conference camp.

Our "camp" is situated in the mountains and we have our retreat around the first weekend in October when the fall colours are at their peak.

In our local church, our small WM group helps sponsor the ladies that can afford the cost of the weekend (it's usually around $50 for the entire weekend). Our ladies leave in anticipation of enjoying a weekend of fellowship and learning and reconnecting with ladies from the various churches in our small conference. When they return, they are positively glowing.

Feel free to come this October and spend the weekend with us! <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/wub.gif" alt="" /> It's for singles AND marrieds... <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[alb]

The need definitely exists. I was listening to my local talk radio station about a week ago and the program that was on was about the increasing numbers of people who, whether by choice or circumstance, are remaining single later in life. I believe the host said that in the year 2000, the number of single adults was at forty-three per cent of the population. That was the last year for which there are figures so it was probably census related information.

At the SDA church where I'm a member, we (single women) do not have any ministry that addresses our specific needs in spite of the fact we've had a women's ministries department for years. Thanks for the information Pam. I'm going to meet with the pastor for women's ministries this week and see what can be done to start something in our church.

[Michelle]

When we were in MI, I started a MOPS group at our church, but it didn't/couldn't meet the needs of every Mother of PReschoolers (MOPS) in our church. We tried to plan programs that were meaningful to as many moms as possible, but it was really impossible to meet everyone's needs. To be honest, I probably would never have attended a MOPS meeting myself. However, there was a need in our church and area, and the group did (still does) meet a need.

I never went to a "women's retreat" because I thought I couldn't stand it. I did go to a weekend study retreat (or something like that--hosted by the NAD women's ministry director, somebody Maxson) that was okay.

I think I'm just not a "retreat" kind of person, except that I'd love to have the time and the freedom to take my own personal weekend retreat--ha, fat chance of THAT ever happening! But one can dream, right?

BTW, Darlene, tell Lee Vendon hi--he was my academy Bible teacher.

M

[darlene]

Yes, Michelle, I'll try to remember to share your greetings with Lee Venden. <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I serve on the NAD Single Adult Ministries Committee and last October we were told that 50% of church members and society are now single. I'm not sure how the 50% of church members was arrived at but I do know that the society figure is accurate.

I do believe Women's Ministries would be a very good ministry if all who attend events and retreats would be loving and accepting of all women. There is a need for this ministry. However, most single adults have been through difficult times in their lives and are more accepting of all who come to our events because of their past experience. We once had a pastor speaker who commented on this phenomina. He said, "You have something that our church needs. I wish all my churches had what you have."