Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted June 24, 2006 Members Posted June 24, 2006 Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road...? Plato For the greater good. Karl Marx It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. Hippocrates Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. Thomas de Torquemada Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. Timothy Leary Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. Sherlock Holmes It was not merely that the chicken crossed the road, Watson, but that the three Russian midgets and the Italian oboe player did not also cross. Darth Vader She was seduced by the dark side of the road. Commander Chikotay I'm not sure but I can find out. That chicken is my animal spirit guide. Douglas Adams Forty-two. Nietzsche Because if you gaze too long across the road, the road gazes also across you. Oliver North National Security was at stake. Carl Jung The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being. Jean-Paul Sartre In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. Commander Data I do not know. Although I have compared all of my 437 billion data points relating to chickens and roads, there is no positive correlation between the two. Ludwig Wittgenstein The possibility of crossing was encoded into the objects chicken and road, and circumstances came into being which caused the actualisation of this potential occurrence. Albert Einstein Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Aristotle To actualise its potential. Buddha If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature. Salvador Dali The Fish. Emily Dickinson Because it could not stop for death. Epicurus For fun. Ralph Waldo Emerson It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. Johann Friedrich von Goethe The eternal hen-principle made it do it. Ernest Hemingway To die. In the rain. Werner Heisenberg We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast. David Hume Out of custom and habit. Saddam Hussein This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. Pyrrho the Skeptic What road? Ronald Reagan I forget. The Sphinx You tell me. Henry David Thoreau To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life. Mark Twain The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. Joseph Stalin I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette. Malcom X It was coming home to roost. Ludvig von Beethoven What? Speak up. Julius Caesar To come, to see, to conquer. Dr. Seuss Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why it cross it, I've not been told! O.J. It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time. Capt. Jean Luc Picard To see what's out there. Thomas Jefferson All hens are endowed by Nature and Nature's God with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of the other side. Charles Darwin It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Thomas Dequincy Because it ran out of opium. Rene Descartes It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway. Bob Dylan How many roads must one chicken cross? TS Eliot Do I dare to cross the road? Paul Erdös It was forced to do so by the chicken-hole principle. Robert Frost To cross the road less traveled by. Gilligan The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost, the chicken would be lost! John Paul Jones It has not yet begun to cross! Immanuel Kant The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will. Martin Luther King It had a dream. James Tiberius Kirk To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Gottfried von Leibniz In this best possible world, the road was made for it to cross. Groucho Marx Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs. Gregor Mendel To get various strains of roads. John Milton To justify the ways of God to men. Alfred E. Neumann What? Me worry? Sir Isaac Newton Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road. Thomas Paine Out of common sense. Wolfgang Pauli There already was a chicken on the other side of the road. J. Danforth Quayle Ite sawe ae potatoee. Mr. Scott 'Cos ma transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain! William Shakespeare I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado. Sisyphus Was it pushing a rock, too? Mr. T If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too! Walt Whitman To cluck the song of itself. Mae West I invited it to come up and see me sometime. Henny Youngman Take this chicken ... please. Zeno of Elea To prove it could never reach the other side. Pat Buchanan To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American. John Locke Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty. The Bible And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. Richard M. Nixon The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. Jerry Seinfeld Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?" Louis Farrakhan The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. George Orwell Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests. Colonel Sanders I missed one? Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others?
Moderators Nan Posted June 24, 2006 Moderators Posted June 24, 2006 Why did the chicken need a reason? <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/monkey.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/adventist/images/graemlins/crack-up.gif" alt="" /> Quote
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