These oughtta be real words!

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

Antalixic (ant uh licks ik) adj. Someone who always passes over the licorice jellybeans.

Aquadextrous (ak wa deks trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

Arachnoleptic fit n. The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug n. Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Bozone n.: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Carperpetuation (kar pur pet you ay shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Disconfect (dis kon fekt) v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

Elbonics (el bon iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

Frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Lactomangulation (lak to man gyu lay shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

Peppier (peph ee ay) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

Phonesia (fo knee zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Sloovers (slew vuhrz n. pl. Remnants of soap too small to use, but too big to throw away."

Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.