An Obituary

[Gregory Matthews]

The following is an obituary that was published in a newspaper.

It is worthy of thought.

https://www.jacksonville.com/obituaries/pfla0245589

 

[GHansen]

20 hours ago, Gregory Matthews said:

It is worthy of thought.

Alcohol does render some people incapable of love. They may go to work, drive a car do most of the things that "normal" people do; nevertheless, they remain emotionally absent from their family members. The family dynamic is so damaging that AA has a special group for adults who grew up with an alcoholic parent--Adult Children of Alcoholics  (ACA). Most alcoholics require an enabler, called by AA a co-dependent. These are individuals who help the alcoholic negotiate difficulties associated with alcoholism. It's often a spouse. They perform simple services for the alcoholic such as cleaning them up after they pass out and vomit all over themselves, miss work, get arrested, etc. Since alcoholism also impacts ambition, they might actually support the family financially, if the husband/father is too impaired to better himself.

An acquaintance of mine's father was an alcoholic. His wife[my friend's mother] followed the advice of AA and refused to enable him. She left him while he was having an affair. My friend prayed and prayed for his parents. Amazingly, his Dad stopped drinking, his Mother forgave his adultery, and they resumed their marriage. Quite amazing, really.

One evening, I saw a university student, drunk, throwing up in a gutter, while his girlfriend hovered over him. A few days later I relayed the event to my students, mostly young women, and advised them to dump their boyfriend if the boy liked drinking. Feeling sorry, trying to help, misplaced loyalty is all part of the co-dependent dynamic. Marrying a narcissistic substance abuser [alcohol] isn't advised.