Emotional Intelligence

[Dr. Shane]

Emotional intelligence has been gaining more attention in the business world.  More and more employers are looking for workers that are emotionally mature.  Those types of workers can be taught a variety of skills.  Hiring someone that is very skilled in an area of expertise but not emotionally mature has been shown to cause problems with a company's corporate culture.  It is easier to hire a low-skilled worker that is emotionally mature and teach them the needed skills than it is to hire a highly skilled, but emotionally immature, worker and help them develop emotional maturity.

Many people with low emotional maturity have had traumatic or dysfunctional childhoods.  They never developed emotional management as children.  Thus they have issues with personal failures, processing guilt, pride, fear of rejection, low self-esteem, knowing how to demonstrate love and receive love.  They are not at fault.  It is a cyclical pattern.  Their parents has low emotional intelligence.  The parents cannot give the children what they don't have.  So, the children do not learn the emotional management needed to experience optimal mental health.

Emotional intelligence can be developed as an adult.  Therapy is one option but support groups are another option.  Emotions Anonymous (EA) is quote popular in the Mid-West and Northeastern United States but many areas do not have any face-to-face meeting.  However there are many online meetings and information about them on their website.  The Adventist church also has Adventist Recovery Ministries (ARmin) which uses the same 12 Steps as EA.  In fact, the two programs complement each other.  Unfortunately most Adventist churches do not have an active ARmin program.  The best people to start them are people involved with other 12 step programs like EA, NA, AA or Al-anon.  

It takes more than a decision.  When we make a decision, we are giving ourselves permission to do something.  Improving our emotional intelligence takes action.  A little bit of action (not too much) every day.  The key to success is consistency.  Making small changes and maintaining them over a long period of time.  This process involves prayer and meditation as we depend on God to make changes in us.  We bring something small like the young lad that gave Jesus is two fish and five loaves.  God takes that something small and does something big in us.