Making Healthy Friends

[Dr. Shane]

Sally had been kicked out of her home shortly after she turned 18 years old.  She was angry.  She felt a sense of loss.  She felt rejected.  She felt neglected and not valued by the people that were supposed to be in charge of taking care of her.  She sunk into a deep depression.  She didn't want to get out of bed in the morning.  She didn't take a bath or brush her teeth.  She just felt like she stopped wanting to do life.

Depression can really take the wind out of our sails and often times it is not as extreme as what Sally experienced.  Jacob was asked to step down from teaching Sabbath School and to no longer help out with Pathfinders because some of the church members learned he struggled with same-sex attraction.  That caused him to go into a mild depression.  He still got up in the morning, brushed his teeth and went to work but lost interest in the things he used to like.  He stayed home more by himself and isolated.

Both Sally and Jacob were able to improve their mental health and enjoy life again but it took some effort and guidance from a Christian counselor.  One of the most difficult things for both of them was getting out and making friends.  In order to make a good friend, one needs to allow themselves to become vulnerable.  They also need to make building relationships a priority in their life.  A great friendship with another person isn't simply going to happen.  We must put ourselves in positions where we are interacting with healthy people that are compatible to us.  Church is a great place to start.  That can be very hard when people in the church have hurt you.  Sally's parents both went to her church and it was some misinformed and judgmental people that had caused Jacob problems.  Nonetheless, both had to find places where they could make healthy friends.