Did she go too far?

[Liz]

The will of God is not a dot we are to hit, it is a pasture with boundaries around it.

Oooh, I REALLY like this thought. Thank you.

[bonnie]

Bonnie,

Forgive if I offended you. By "other way" I did not mean humiliation... I meant whatever your way is . Every mother should be commended when it comes to this difficult task. Especially Christian mothers. But, what worked for you growing up, will not work for me. The will of God is not a dot we are to hit, it is a pasture with boundaries around it.

For me it would be tough to teach children to respect and wish to do God's will, without first teaching them to respect and do the will of their earthly parents ,within reason.

That unfortunately at times requires they pay the consequences of the choices they make.

After all the reasoning and explainations are given, nothing strikes home more forcefully than the rewards, good or bad for the decisions they make

[fccool]

That's your opinion, and I respect it.

[olger]

For me it would be tough to teach children to respect and wish to do God's will, without first teaching them to respect and do the will of their earthly parents ,within reason.

That unfortunately at times requires they pay the consequences of the choices they make.

This is absolutely true. It is God who ordained parental authority in te first place. When a child rebels, he will demonstrate that against his parents first. But it doesn't stop there. From there he moves into rebellion at God. Then he/she rebels against God's Law. When we reject God's law, we almost always (99.9%) move into moral failure. That brings a whole new series of consequences into a person's life and they gets worse as they go.

We live in a world where the children are running the homes and ---it's a mess.

regards,

Og

[Taylor]

That is true Olger, that if children disrespect parents they will eventually disrespect God. The natural consequences just get worse...it begins to affect their education, eventual jobs, and marriages. Unfortunately many young people think that they can rebell against their parents and still follow God. (By rebelling I am meaning an attitude and or actions of rebellion against their parents. I don't mean their rightful rejection of their parent's advice if it is directly against what the Bible teaches.)

[Dottie]

There are so many comments above mine, I'll try to give a different perspective (if possible.)

What seems to be missing in the discussion is that each child has a different predisposition. Each is unique and responds to discipline in different ways. The discipline has to be used which will best reach each child. Some only need a talking to. Others need time to think about their behavior alone. Others may need to do payback tasks or physical things which would use up their energy. And some may actually need a physical punishment (horrible thought). Different "strokes" for different folks.

My son gets better with "time in" versus "time out." The first day of his therapy, he was given the assignment to learn his six jobs.

"My job is to be (1)respectful, (2)responsible, and (3)fun to be around, and to do things (4)fast, (5)snappy, and (6)right the first time, Mom and Dad's way."

Children may be our equals in God's sight, but they are not the equivalent. They don't have the experience or knowledge to make the right choices. It is our jobs as parents to teach them, and some may be faster learners than others. And some may choose not to use what they have learned to make their lives better.

Each of us has to determine what discipline and/or punishment works best for each of our children.

Is any of the above clear???

[David Koot]

What seems to be missing in the discussion is that each child has a different predisposition. Each is unique and responds to discipline in different ways. The discipline has to be used which will best reach each child. Some only need a talking to. Others need time to think about their behavior alone. Others may need to do payback tasks or physical things which would use up their energy. And some may actually need a physical punishment (horrible thought). Different "strokes" for different folks.

And there you have hit the nail on the head IMO. Very, very important observation, and so true.

Dave

[fccool]

Exactly! As I have expressed before in this post, God's will is not a dot we have to land on perfectly. So it is with children. I think that we have the rebellion for the sake of it is simply because children are not treated with respect, which they do deserve our respect as human beings, or do they? When they grow up they may have experiences that lead them to understand life better than we do, so it is important to approach things with understanding and explanation and resort to punishment only in extreme cases, but punishment also has to be supplied with explanation outside of "because I said so".

Today, I see parents who don't seem it appropriate to go beyond "because I said so". Also children will see inconsistencies that this type of way will lead you to. Such can be "why can you, and I can't"? The reason that children rebelling today is not because they are not disciplined enough, but because in lack of understanding on their part. The most rebellious kids that I encountered in my life were ironically pastor's kids. I went to Christian school, and it was the kids of "super strict" parents that were running around trying everything they could try.

So it was pretty obvious that austerity is not enough to make sure that children follow God, quite the opposite... austerity without philosophical discussion will lead children to behave like corporations do... which is get away with anything legally possible.