Sexting

[GreatLakesGramma]

I agree with you, pk. All we can do is bring them up the best we can, do our very best to teach them the truth about God, and pray that the Holy Spirit will bring them to the point of giving their hearts, not just their actions, to Him. And it has to start early. If parents wait for the teenage years, it's too late by then.

Years ago, I read that a child's character is pretty much set by the time he is around 10 years old. Maybe that is partly why Sister White said the mother should be the children's only teacher until the age of 10. It worked for us. We didn't have any problems with teenage rebellion from any of our kids. And no, they didn't go off the deep end after they left home either. They are the same now as they were then, except more mature.

[phkrause]

Good Post GLG

pk

[Robert]

Robert I do agree with your statements, but at the same time I can remember hearing from someone, not sure who, that a good habit is better than a bad one.

pk

But if the motive is wrong everything else that follows is polluted. By nature mankind is legalist - he is proud. It comes natural to put on a good face, but unless the Spirit of God is within that person everything he does will be dominated by sin (self-love, self-interests, selfishness and self-glory).

[phkrause]

I do agree with that statement. I didn't say that it was perfect. It did help me in certain things. But it could have easily gone wrong like EGW said.

pk

[Joe_in_RP]

Quote:

Maybe that is partly why Sister White said the mother should be the children's only teacher until the age of 10.

Can you point me to where I can find that? I would like to study it more.

[phkrause]

I thought that I had read that in Child Guidance many years ago. But I searched for it this morning but couldn't find it. I was also under the impression that she mentioned the first 9 years not 10 but what does 1 year matter among friends.

Maybe GLG has an exact quote where EGW mentions this.

pk

[GreatLakesGramma]

It's been many, many years since I read that - my children are now 28 and 24, so I had to look it up. The article was in Testimonies, volume 3, page 137. It actually had to do with not confining them in a classroom until their minds were developed enough, but letting them spend lots of time outside. We did that too.

We homeschooled, and during their elementary years, I never pushed them. Each of my 3 children learned to read in a different way, and at a different age. And I allowed them to progress in their studies at the rate that worked for them. I encouraged them to take their books outside too. My daughter used to climb to the top of a small maple tree in our front yard to do her studying on nice days.

They did very well academically too. My daughter passed all her college entrance exams with very high scores, and got straight A's in all her classes.

Anyway, here's the quote:

Quote:

Many children have been ruined for life by urging the intellect and neglecting to strengthen the physical powers. Many have died in childhood because of the course pursued by injudicious parents and schoolteachers in forcing their young intellects, by flattery or fear, when they were too young to see the inside of a schoolroom. Their minds have been taxed with lessons when they should not have been called out, but kept back until the physical constitution was strong enough to endure mental effort. Small children should be left as free as lambs to run out of doors, to be free and happy, and should be allowed the most favorable opportunities to lay the foundation for sound constitutions. {3T 137.1}

Parents should be the only teachers of their children until they have reached eight or ten years of age. As fast as their minds can comprehend it, the parents should open before them God's great book of nature. The mother should have less love for the artificial in her house and in the preparation of her dress for display, and should find time to cultivate, in herself and in her children, a love for the beautiful buds and opening flowers. By calling the attention of her children to their different colors and variety of forms, she can make them acquainted with God, who made all the beautiful things which attract and delight them. She can lead their minds up to their Creator and awaken in their young hearts a love for their heavenly Father, who has manifested so great love for them. Parents can associate God with all His created works. The only schoolroom for children from eight to ten years of age should be in the open air amid the opening flowers and nature's beautiful scenery. And their only textbook should be the treasures of nature. These lessons, imprinted upon the minds of young children amid the pleasant, attractive scenes of nature, will not be soon forgotten. {3T 137.2}

In order for children and youth to have health, cheerfulness, vivacity, and well-developed muscles and brains, they should be much in the open air and have well-regulated employment and amusement. Children and youth who are kept

138

at school and confined to books, cannot have sound physical constitutions. The exercise of the brain in study, without corresponding physical exercise, has a tendency to attract the blood to the brain, and the circulation of the blood through the system becomes unbalanced. The brain has too much blood and the extremities too little. There should be rules regulating their studies to certain hours, and then a portion of their time should be spent in physical labor. And if their habits of eating, dressing, and sleeping are in accordance with physical law, they can obtain an education without sacrificing physical and mental health. {3T 137.3}

[Joe_in_RP]

Thank you. My wife and I are having discussions about homeschooling in elementary years.

I think it is good. It may prevent problems in the teen years.

[Cosmin M.]

You got jokes, Joe Knapp. If you do that it would probably be one of the biggest mistakes you made. Why? Elementary is when every kid is good and respects everyone else. I would say you send him/her to Elementary and for Middle and High you home-school them.

[SivartM]

You got jokes, Joe Knapp. If you do that it would probably be one of the biggest mistakes you made. Why? Elementary is when every kid is good and respects everyone else. I would say you send him/her to Elementary and for Middle and High you home-school them.

Really? *goes to tell elementary kids to be more polite and kind*

I've been homeschooled my whole life... so I wouldn't know much about "real school".

[Cosmin M.]

It is true. You don't really learn bad things from Elementary. You start to learn in Middle. Trust me, I know.

[Cosmin M.]

And plus, if you were HS all your life and then go to a public school people will pick on you.

[phkrause]

I remember back a few years now my sister-in-law, kept her daughter out of school till she was 9, than sent her to the first grade. She said she read in one of EGWs books, I thought it was child guidance, that the first 9 years were the most important years for a childs character building. And that they should learn that at home. I'm going to see if I can find that statement.

pk

[Outta Here]

People will pick on others, ridicule and poke fun of others regardless.

Again, it is the active parent who will help and guide the child through his development. A passive parent who leaves the parenting and education of the child in others' hands is a parent who is neglecting his God-given responsibility to train up his child the way he should go.

[SivartM]

And plus, if you were HS all your life and then go to a public school people will pick on you.

Tsk tsk, Cosmin! You don't pick on homeschoolers, do you? Or were you homeschooled before?

I doubt that all homeschoolers are picked on.

[Cosmin M.]

Well... I went to school and I learned to be hard and put up with others. But I am 6' 0" and I may look intimidating to others. I learned how o do things the communism way.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Cosmin, what makes you the expert? In fact, it usually works just the opposite of what you've said. My daughter took driver's education and summer art classes, and went to fine arts camp with public schooled teens. They didn't agree with her on everything, but they respected her beliefs.

Elementary-aged children will do whatever it takes to fit in. That is the most important time to limit their exposure to bad influences. By the time they're teens, it's too late.

[Cosmin M.]

Well... I saw many people that went to Elementary school and then to Middle school and were picked on all the time. Also, In middle school/high school, kids are more vulnerable to alcohol,drugs, and sex.

[GreatLakesGramma]

What you say is true Cosmin, but when they're homeschooled in their younger years, which does NOT mean isolated from other kids, just exposed in a more controlled manner, they may develop the strength of character to resist those pressures. That doesn't mean it always happens. But in general it does work that way, if the parents are diligent, and train them in a positive manner.

At a time of burnout, I did send my children to church school for a brief period. My boys were 8 at the time, my daughter 12. During the few months the kids were in school, my boys began to be quite vulgar. One of our boys was viciously picked on by the kids there, and because everyone else in the school was doing it, even his siblings joined in. He turned extremely hyper because of the stress. His Adventurer leader even suggested to me that he might have ADHD. When I talked with the pastor and the teacher about it, she had a talk with the kids, and they stopped, but not for long. So we took all three out of school in the middle of the school year. The one son settled back down to his normal, lovable self, the vulgarity disappeared, and we soon had our good kids back.

Our kids all learned to help around the house too. They were each responsible for several regular tasks, about 2 hours worth per day. So they grew up responsible, and used to working. When our daughter got a job during her high school years, bagging groceries, she and another homeschooled student were the only dependable teen employees the store had. When she was 19, she was actually considered for the position of assistant produce manager.

Another very important thing I should add, is that I was always home with the kids. Some of my cousins resented the fact that my grandfather favored my kids, because they were so well-behaved. But none of the cousin's kids had stay-at-home moms. If I had had to work a full-time job like they all did, I wouldn't have had the time or energy to discipline mine properly either.

I also took seriously the counsels given by Sister White in Child Guidance, such as the statement that children are not any happier if they are unrestrained, and allowed to disturb everyone's peace. I taught my children to be quiet and considerate of other people's needs. When my boys were just 4 years old, I was sick for a prolonged period and slept for hours at a time, and whenever I was sleeping, they played quietly and never made a single peep. My daughter was in church school at the time, for one year.

[Cosmin M.]

Wow. Cool.

[Amelia]

*Gp

No cell phone has to have texting. That is something that you pay extra to have added. It is either a per text charge or unlimited. A child doesn't require texting. Just the ability to call home or 911. Like any other luxury item, it they abuse it, take it away.

[Cosmin M.]

I had a cell phone but I went to Romania and I took my phone there and I did not bring it back because we moved from Verizon Wireless to Metro PCS and since then I have not gotten a cell phone. I say cell phones are luxuries and not necessities.

[GreatLakesGramma]

I say cell phones are luxuries and not necessities.

That depends on the circumstances.

[Cosmin M.]

Hmmm...Yeah.. I say wait until they are 15/16 to get them a phone that has no texting.

[Joe_in_RP]

Thank you Aubrey.