More laws and rules...

[Stan]

UNIVERSAL LAWS

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with

grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to urinate.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to

the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a

busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because

you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you

were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every

time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the

telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know

increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen

with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine

won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely

proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose

seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the ones who

will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet

and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over

while those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long

gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter end of the

performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,

your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is

cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker

room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich

landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the

newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what

you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Uncle Normie's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you

find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to

the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an

appointment and you'll stay sick.

[GreatLakesGramma]

18. Uncle Normie's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Yep. Works every single time. And they don't give you any warning so that you can stock up either.

[Nan]

I have various rules for OB.

The first one I tell my patients is that no one will ever tell you (the expectant mother) you

look normal. You will be too big, too small or too something else, but never right for where you

are at. :)

[Doug]

If your hand is filled with grocery bags or something, your keys will be in the pocket on the same side.

[Nan]

Knoche's Modification of Murphy's Law (If something can go wrong it will go wrong)

Murphy was an optimist.

[Woody]

Rule Rules Rules ....

I just Can't handle any more RULES

[GreatLakesGramma]

Calm down, Redwood. Take a deep breath.... Hold it.... Now, let it out slowly.

[Amelia]

How about, take a deep breath and hold it. teehe

[Stan]

hmm for how many minutes?

[LynnDel]

ooooh, gotta watch out for that Stan guy. Now that he's running a country, he thinks he can say anything!

[Gerr]

Red, start going to a conservative church. They'll teach you how to handle all kinds of rules. teehe

[Gerr]

Thanks for giving me my first chuckle of the day.

[True-believer]

TOO MANY RULES... AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHH

Now, thats more like it!!!

[Planey]

Rule Rules Rules ....

I just Can't handle any more RULES

Now Red, that's the problem with not being enough of a legalist.

For us legalists, too many rules is still not enough.

Graeme

PS Actually I am a lapsed legalist - I love lots of rules but can't seem to obey any of them...

[Neil D]

ooooh, gotta watch out for that Stan guy. Now that he's running a country, he thinks he can say anything!

And watch out for that Amelia girl....I suspect that she is one of those stock market-eers...allways telling people to buy or hold....Today, she is telling someone to hold....

[LifeHiscost]

Rules are good. And I can't understand why everybody else doesn't follow them. But I will have to admit I have a very difficult time following Robert's rules.

Regards!

[SivartM]

Rules rule! *chortles at his clever pun*

[Gail]

Rules are good. And I can't understand why everybody else doesn't follow them. But I will have to admit I have a very difficult time following Robert's rules.

I have a book called, Robert's Rules of Order, but I suppose that is not what is being referenced to here. :)

[Gail]

Rules rule! *chortles at his clever pun*

I wish more people would chortle. I like chortling.

[Neil D]

Rules are good. And I can't understand why everybody else doesn't follow them. But I will have to admit I have a very difficult time following Robert's rules.

Regards!

from an Anarchist pov, rules were made to be broken........

[Liz]

from an Anarchist pov, rules were made to be broken........

And if rules were made to be broken, why make them in the first place? Does rules make bad people good? Or is it just the measuring stick good people use to punish bad people? What about mitigating circumstances? What about good people that does a bad thing for a good reason? What about bad people who does that same bad thing but for a bad reason? What about bad people who does that same bad thing for a good reason? Does that make them good?

Someone fed me chocolate, I will go walk it off now.

[Neil D]

Originally Posted By: Neil D

from an Anarchist pov, rules were made to be broken........

And if rules were made to be broken, why make them in the first place? Does rules make bad people good? Or is it just the measuring stick good people use to punish bad people? What about mitigating circumstances? What about good people that does a bad thing for a good reason? What about bad people who does that same bad thing but for a bad reason? What about bad people who does that same bad thing for a good reason? Does that make them good?

Someone fed me chocolate, I will go walk it off now.

I recently was privilaged to see that if a woman is given a chocolate carmel apple with nuts, orgasism will result and thus, I realized that men can be replacced with chocolate. Rather disappointing in my opinion. But very delightful to watch.

Liz, why are you so fixated upon rules and who is good and who is bad...All it will do is cause you to desire chocolate and thus gain weight. This too is disappointing in my opinion.

My suggestion is that if you must fixate upon something, fixate upon the chocolate apple. And also realize that breaking the rules will help you feel better.

[phkrause]

I think rules are good. I conceder the 10 commandments as rules to live by. Can you imagine what the world would be like without them. And how many don't even follow them. Imagine driving down the street without some kind of rule's for the road! What kind of problems would that bring. I also agree that we can go over board with rules. God gave us ten and I think if we followed those we would definitely not need any others.

pk

[Liz]

I recently was privilaged to see that if a woman is given a chocolate carmel apple with nuts, orgasism will result and thus, I realized that men can be replacced with chocolate. Rather disappointing in my opinion. But very delightful to watch.

Liz, why are you so fixated upon rules and who is good and who is bad...All it will do is cause you to desire chocolate and thus gain weight. This too is disappointing in my opinion.

My suggestion is that if you must fixate upon something, fixate upon the chocolate apple. And also realize that breaking the rules will help you feel better.

First what the heck is an "orgasism"? Second, if eating a chocolate apple does to me what it did to that woman, sign me up. Third, I liked Matrix too.

[Neil D]

First what the heck is an "orgasism"? Second, if eating a chocolate apple does to me what it did to that woman, sign me up. Third, I liked Matrix too.

1] sorry, spell checker went on the blink..."Orgasm" ...and I believe the way I missspelled it, it "is" in the present tense.

2] Where do you want your chocolate carmel rolled in nuts apple sent? On second thought, how about you come here and i will take you to the place that does those apples and we will see what happens....

3] What does the Matrix have to do with breaking rules?