Growing Each Day by Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski

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25 Tishrei

He [Hillel] was accustomed to say, "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?" (Ethics of the Fathers 1:14).

This phrase is sometimes misinterpreted to mean that one must primarily look out for oneself, as though Hillel was advocating selfishness as a desirable trait.

What Hillel really meant can be better understood with a statement by the Rabbi of Kotzk, who said, "If I am I because I am I, and you are you because you are you, then I am and you are. But if I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then I am not and you are not."

Every person must have an identity, and that identity should not depend on what others think of him or what someone else wants him to be. A person who allows himself to be molded and manipulated by others does not have an identity or even an existence of his own, because he will always become whatever others want him to be, and he is essentially an extension of others, rather than an individual in his own right.

People, who allow others to determine who they are and what they are to do, generally do not assume full responsibility for their behavior. Their attitude is on, "He made me do it."

Both Hillel and the Rabbi of Kotzk demand that a person be fully responsible for his actions, and that he decide what he expects of himself and what he sees as his purpose in life.

Today I shall ...

... try to achieve my own identity. Whereas I will listen to the advice of those who are wiser than me, I will nonetheless never hold others responsible for what I do.

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26 Tishrei

May He Who knows what is hidden accept our call for help and listen to our cry (Siddur).

The Talmud states that a person may be coerced to perform a mitzvah even if it is required that the mitzvah be done of one's own volition (Rosh Hashanah 6a).

But are not coercion and volition mutually exclusive? Not necessarily, explains Rambam. Inasmuch as the soul of the Jew intrinsically wishes to do the Divine will, and it is only the physical self - which is subject to temptation - that may be resistive, the coercion inflicted upon the person overcomes that external resistance. Thus, when one performs the mitzvah, it is with the full volition of the inner self, the true self, for at his core, every Jew wishes to comply with the mandates of the Torah.

There is a hidden part of us, to which we may have limited access, yet we know it is there. When we pray for our needs, said Rabbi Uri of Strelisk, we generally ask only for that which we feel ourselves to be lacking. However, we must also recognize that our soul has spiritual needs, and that we may not be aware of its cravings.

We therefore pray, said Rabbi Uri, that God should listen not only to the requests that we verbalize, but also to our hidden needs that are very important to us - but which He knows much better than we.

Today I shall ...

... try to realize that there is a part of me of which I am only vaguely aware. I must try to get to know that part of myself, because it is my very essence.

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27 Tishrei

The heart of those that seek God shall rejoice. Seek God and His might, constantly seek His countenance (Psalms 105:3-4).

One might ask, "Why should I try to seek God? He is infinitely great, and so totally beyond human grasp that the search to understand Him is all in vain. Is it not senseless to exhaust oneself in an effort that is doomed to failure from its very outset?"

Rabbi Simcha Zissel of Kelm states that the above verses are the Psalmist's reply to this question. Spiritual quests are qualitatively different from physical ones. In worldly matters, a quest is futile if one finds nothing, and the disappointment is frustrating. Not so in one's search for God, wherein the search itself brings joy, for the very inquiry elevates the searcher.

Indeed, the Psalmist urges us never to cease the search, because the promise of joy in searching is contingent upon its continuity. One cannot stop midway, abandon the effort, and retire with one's winnings. Abandoning the search for God at any point brings a person back to square one. To achieve the joy in searching, it must be constantly seek His countenance.

This thought was also expressed by the Rabbi of Kotzk, on the verse, And from there you shall seek your God, and you shall find Him, if you seek Him with all your heart and soul (Deuteronomy 4:29). The Kotzker interpreted the verse to mean that the seeking is the finding; "you shall find Him if you seek ..." - but only if it is a lifelong quest, with all one's heart and soul.

Today I shall ...

... try to find God everywhere in the universe. I will study Torah literature to help me in this search.

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28 Tishrei

Behold, He stands behind our walls, looking through the windows, and peering through the lattices (Song of Songs 2:9).

"Whether God watches through the windows or through the lattices," said Rabbi Yisrael of Salant, "God watches over us. The difference is that sometimes it is through a window, and then we can see Him just as He sees us. At other times, it is through a crack in the partition, where He can see us, but we do not see Him."

Both in the history of the nation and in our personal lives, there have been times when Divine intervention was manifest. There have also been times when we were in great distress and felt abandoned, but even then, though God seemed to be absent, He was watching over us. The Torah foretold that there would be times of anguish when we would feel that God is not among us. At such times we must strengthen our faith and declare, "Behold, the Keeper of Israel does not sleep nor slumber."

Commenting on the verse, He does great marvels alone (Psalms 136:4), our Sages tell us that "alone" means that only God is aware of some of the miracles He performs for us, because we are unable to recognize them as such. Those who failed to see the protective hand of God when the Iraqis rained scuds on Israel were morally and psychologically blind; anyone should have been aware of God's protection. But even when His intervention is less evident, we must know that He watches over us, albeit "through cracks in the lattices."

Today I shall ...

... try to reinforce my faith in the everpresent watchfulness of God over Israel as a whole, and over me as an individual.

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29 Tishrei

Cause us to lie down, Hashem, our God, in peace, and cause us to rise up again to life and peace (Siddur).

I once asked a recovered alcoholic with many years of sobriety to share his experiences with a newcomer who was unable to understand how, after so many years of dependence on alcohol, someone under stress could avoid recourse to drink.

"It's simple," the veteran said. "Every morning when I get up, I ask God to help me stay sober one more day. Every night when I retire, I thank Him for having given me another day of sobriety, and hope that He will do the same for me tomorrow."

The novice listened in partial disbelief. "How do you know it was God that gave you the day of sobriety?" he asked.

The old-timer responded, "How stupid can you get? I hadn't asked anyone else!"

It is amazing how we sometimes complicate things that are quite simple.

Each night we entrust our weary soul to God, and each morning He not only returns it to us, but gives it to us in a refreshed state. Indeed, if we ask Him sincerely to cleanse it for us by removing the sins that stained it during the day, we can be assured that this request too will be granted, as long as it is sincere - because an honest request constitutes teshuvah, and the combination of repentance and faith is certain to earn us forgiveness.

Today I shall ...

... try to realize that each day of life is a Divine gift, and that I have the means of starting each day with a soul cleansed by God.

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30 Tishrei

A person can see all lesions, except for his own (Negaim 2:5).

The above Talmudic law refers to the particular kinds of lesions that must be examined by a Kohen (priest) to determine whether they are ritually clean or contaminated. The Talmud states that a Kohen is not eligible to pass judgment on lesions affecting his own person, since he cannot have the necessary objectivity where he is involved.

This statement has been interpreted homiletically to mean that a person is capable of recognizing all defects except his own; a person will tend to deny his own faults, although he will easily recognize similar flaws in others.

The Baal Shem Tov gave this statement yet another profound interpretation simply by moving the comma ahead by one word. In his formulation, the statement reads, "A person can see all defects on the outside, [if they are like] his own." We see in others only the sort of defects that exist in ourselves. The Baal Shem Tov taught that whenever we find fault with another person, we should analyze ourselves carefully to discover where that same fault exists within ourselves. We will deny it vehemently, and project it onto others.

The Talmudic commentaries anticipated modern psychological discoveries by many centuries. "Denial" and "projection" go hand in hand to focus on others and prevent us from making the necessary improvements in our character.

Today I shall ...

... try to do a personal inventory, to seek out where I might have those faults that I identify in others, and make an effort to correct them.

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1 Cheshvan

God said to Noah, "Enter ... into the ark" (Genesis 7:1).

The Hebrew word for ark, teivah, has two meanings: it can mean "an ark," and it can also mean "a word." In the above verse, the latter meaning tells us that God instructed Noah to "enter into the word." Rabbi Moshe of Kobrin expounded on this theme, explaining that when we pray, we should "enter into the words," i.e. totally immerse ourselves into each word of prayer, as though the word is encompassing us.

A listener once asked him: "How can a big human being possibly enter into a little word?" Rabbi Moshe answered, "People who consider themselves bigger than the word are not the kind of person we are talking about."

The Talmud states that people's prayers are not accepted unless they efface themselves before God (Sotah 5a). God abhors those who are egotistical, and therefore the prayers of a vain person are not likely to be received favorably.

People preoccupied with their egos remain external to their prayers. The truly humble person feels small enough to "enter" even the tiniest word.

Today I shall ...

...

try to throw myself entirely into my prayers by setting aside those thoughts and feelings that would inflate my ego.

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2 Cheshvan

Do not show favoritism in judgment ... fear no person (Deuteronomy 1:17).

Rabbi Yaakov of Lisa summoned one of his town's wealthiest citizens, a pillar of the community, to appear before him in a rabbinic court. When the man ignored the summons for the third time, Rabbi Yaakov notified him that unless he complied at once, he would feel the full wrath of the court.

The man came to the rabbi and sharply rebuked him. "You should be aware, Rabbi," he said, "that I was the one who was instrumental in your getting the position as rabbi of this community. This is not how I expected to be repaid."

Without a word, Rabbi Yaakov left his study, packed his and his family's belongings, and they all left town. Rabbi Yaakov later explained that the man had not intimidated him, but he may have caused him to be unconsciously biased and he might not be completely objective in his case. Furthermore, if his judgment would have been in this man's favor, he might have been suspected of favoritism.

When we bring a dispute before a judge, we should value truth sufficiently to avoid using personal influence which might undermine a just decision.

Today I shall ...

... try to keep myself rigorously honest by avoiding the urge to tilt the truth to my interests.

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3 Cheshvan

Do not partake of the bread of one who is miserly (Proverbs 23:6).

Yankel was known for his extreme miserliness. When he came to shul one day and announced that his wife had given birth to a son, his face was less than glowing with happiness. When asked why, he admitted: "Well, a baby boy requires a bris, and a bris requires refreshments, and those cost money."

"You say `refreshments,' Yankel?" his friend, Boruch, said. "Why, Yankel, for a bris you must serve a whole feast! And I'll tell you something, Yankel. You will have to provide even more food than someone else, because it's a known fact that when the host does not fargin (i.e. he is stingy), the guests eat twice as much!"

Poor Yankel had no choice but to comply with custom. He reluctantly prepared a meal for the bris. During the meal, painfully watching everyone eat with much gusto, he ran to Boruch and said, "Help. Boruch, help! I'm farginning (not being stingy), but they're still eating twice as much anyway!"

We must be cautious not to let our emotions deceive us. If we have undesirable feelings, we should not make believe that they do not exist, but we should try to correct them. Self-deception can result only in absurd contradictions, such as Yankel's assertion that he really was being generous."

Today I shall ...

... try to examine my feelings and perhaps ask someone else to help me evaluate them, lest I deceive myself.

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4 Cheshvan

May these words that I have prayed before God be close to God day and night, that He may do justice for His servant and for His people Israel, the needs of each day on that day (Siddur).

When people lift heavy loads, they are likely to develop severe back pain. When they realize that they are overtaxing their bodies, they discontinue this practice and from then on will lift only as much as their bodies can safely bear.

While we can easily determine our body's stress capacity, our psychological and emotional stress tolerance is not so readily measurable. Yet, if we exceed that stress level, symptoms of discomfort and dysfunction are just as apt to occur as when the body's level is exceeded. How is one to determine one's safe emotional and psychological stress level?

What could be simpler than following the instruction book provided by the Manufacturer?

During the Israelites' sojourn in the desert, the manna was provided in portions just sufficient for one day, and any excess rotted away.

As for what they would eat the next day, the Israelites had been assured that there would be fresh manna the following day. Our appropriate stress tolerance is to be concerned for just one day - twenty-four hours. If we take on more than that, we may be overburdening the system. In our economy, lacking the miraculous manna and having the ability to save for the future, there may be justification for putting something aside for a rainy day. However, we often take on worries far in advance, about things that we are powerless to alter or to prepare for today. Such futile worry is harmful to a person.

Today I shall ...

... try to concentrate on my present needs and avoid worrying about things that are not within my capacity to change.

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5 Cheshvan

When Saul was king for one year ... (I Samuel 13:1).

The literal translation of this verse is, "Saul was one year old when he became king." The Talmud explains that Scripture uses this wording to convey that when Saul assumed the throne, he was as free of sin as a one-year-old child.

People grow wiser as they mature, but some features of childhood should not be abandoned. Rabbi Shlomo Luria stated that when he recited the Shema, he could have meditated upon the profound hidden meanings and esoteric combinations of the Divine Name. He instead concentrated on the simplest meanings of the words, just as a small child would who knows only the literal translation, "Hear, O Israel, our God is Lord, our God is One."

God created man simple, but man made complex calculations (Ecclesiastes 7:29). The problems of life need not be anywhere near as complicated as we make them. In matters of faith and in following instructions, we would benefit greatly if we used childlike simplicity, trusting in the superior wisdom of our Father and doing what we are told instead of trying to analyze everything.

Today I shall ...

... try to keep things as simple as possible, and allow myself to be taught and guided by those wiser than myself.

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6 Cheshvan

God appeared to Abram and said to him, "I am Almighty God. Walk before Me and be perfect" (Genesis 17:1).

If a human being cannot be perfect, why did God demand perfection of Abraham?

The entire context of the verse indicates both the definition of this perfection and the way in which it can be achieved. It is obvious that no human being can aspire to equal God's degree of perfection. What man can achieve is to live according to God's teachings and thereby live up to his own human potential; more than man's personal maximum is not possible or expected. Thus, God did not say simply, "Be perfect"; He said, "Walk before Me + and thereby you will be perfect." When a person tries to live according to the Divine teachings, that constitutes human perfection, although one is technically never perfect.

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch notes that the Hebrew word for "walk" in the above verse is not telech but heshalech which implies, "Go your way in spite of opposition, not making your progress dependent on external circumstances, but being led from within yourself: Let your movement proceed from your own free-willed decisions."

The picture is now complete; human perfection can be achieved by making a free-willed choice to live according to the Divine teaching.

Today I shall ...

... try to realize that although I cannot be absolutely without flaw, I can be perfect if I make free-will decisions to obey the Divine will.

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7 Cheshvan

And you shall love Hashem your God ... (Deuteronomy 6:5)

And you shall love your neighbor as yourself... (Leviticus 19:18).

Both of these statements are positive commandments. We might ask: How can a commandment demand that we feel something? Since love is an emotion, it is either there or it is not there.

The Torah does not hold that love is something spontaneous. On the contrary, it teaches that we can and should cultivate love. No one has the liberty to say: "There are some people whom I just do not like," nor even, "I cannot possibly like that person because he did this and that to me."

We have within us innate attractions to God and to other people. If we do not feel love for either of them, it is because we have permitted barriers to develop that interfere with this natural attraction, much as insulation can block a magnet's inherent attraction for iron. If we remove the barriers, the love will be forthcoming.

The barriers inside us come from defects in our character. When we improve ourselves, our bad character traits fall away, and as they fall away, we begin to sense that natural love which we have for others and for God.

Today I shall ...

... try to improve my midos (character traits), so that I will be able to feel love for God and for my fellow man.

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8 Cheshvan

From on high may they plead merit for them (our hosts) and for us ... and may we find favor and understanding in the eyes of God and man (Grace After Meals).

We all wish to be liked and appreciated. What is the best road to popularity?

Some people are "people pleasers." They do things for others to earn their favor and affection. While it is certainly commendable to do things for others, "buying" their affection should not be the motivation. Furthermore, there are times when we are not able to fulfill a particular request that someone may make of us. If we force ourselves because we are afraid that our refusal may result in losing the other person's friendship, we may resent what we do. This process is counterproductive; doing acts of kindness should not result in resentment.

All we need to be liked and appreciated is to have a sincere attitude of caring for others. A benevolent attitude will translate itself into benevolent deeds. This "intangible" will be felt by other people, even when we are unable to do anything for them.

In the above prayer, we ask God to bless our hosts and to consider them meritorious. Showing this benevolent attitude is sufficient for us to find favor in the eyes of both God and others.

Today I shall ...

... try to cultivate feelings of sincere concern for others, and pray for their well-being just as I pray for my own.

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9 Cheshvan

I believe with perfect faith that ... (Siddur).

There are Thirteen Principles of Faith whose absolute certainty we declare after the morning services. These are the only principles of absolute certainty. Everything else is subject to doubt. If there were anything else of absolute certainty, there would be fourteen principles.

Rabbi Issachar of Wolborz told his followers that the soul of a departed person had once come to him and stated that he was destitute and needed money for his daughter's wedding.

"But you are no longer alive," the Rabbi said to the soul, "and you have no need for money." The soul refused to believe him.

"How pathetic," the Rabbi said. "There are souls who are not privileged to enter Gehinnom (perdition) to undergo the cleansing process that will qualify them for Gan Eden (paradise). These lost souls may wander for years in a fantasy world, believing they are still alive."*

One follower asked, "How can we be sure that we are indeed living? Perhaps we too are in this fantasy world now, but are under the delusion that we are still alive."

The Rabbi answered, "People who consider it a possibility that they may be delusional are not delusional. Psychotics do not think for a single moment that they may be hallucinating."

The Thirteen Principles of Faith are axioms. With the exception of these, we should always be ready to examine our convictions, regardless of how strongly we may feel about them. It is when we are absolutely certain that we are right and have no doubt whatever about the validity of our opinions that we are most likely to be in error.

___________

* In Kabbalah there is a concept of a "world of emptiness" where souls may dwell until they are cleansed.

Today I shall ...

... try to keep an open mind and be willing to listen to opinions other than my own.

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10 Cheshvan

I have placed before you life and death...and you shall choose life (Deuteronomy 30:19).

How can a lobster grow? After all, its shell is rigid and cannot expand.

When the lobster feels itself compressed within its shell, it retreats to a crevice in one of the underwater rock formations, sheds its shell, and grows a new one. When it outgrows this shell, it repeats the process and continues doing so until it reaches its maximum size.

During the stage when it is without its shell, the lobster is in great danger. A predatory fish may eat it, or a strong current may dash it against a rock. In order to grow, the lobster must risk its very life.

It is impossible to achieve success without risking failure; sometimes life can only be lived by risking death. Since life consists of growth and progress, we must learn to live with risk.

People for whom failure is devastating may never try anything. They will never grow.The greatest failure of all is the failure to grow and to maximize one's potential. This passive failure is even more serious than active failure.

We must develop sufficient courage and self-confidence to not retreat from taking risks (though reasonable ones) in order to progress.

Today I shall ...

... try to increase my feelings of self-worth so that I may be able to accept new challenges without the fear that any failure would destroy me.

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11 Cheshvan

Let the praises of God come from the heavens ... let the praises of God come from the earth (Psalms 148:1,7).

The Scriptures have many references to seeing the presence of God in everything in the world. Psalm 104, for example, is a beautiful song of nature, which recounts God's presence in all His works. As we are swept along by the exquisite poetry of the psalm, we can actually sense how this realization culminated in David's declaration, How many are Your works, O God. You have fashioned them all with wisdom (104:24).

Today, more than ever, people have been privileged to see the marvels of Divine wisdom. Thanks to the marvels of electronic technology, we can see the Divine engineering in the structure of a blade of grass, in the function of a cell of protoplasm, in the complex structure of the atom, and in the awesome composition of super galaxies.

It is wrong to live in a world that testifies to the omnipresence of God and not acknowledge it. This is one reason we have not only daily prayers, but also blessings for so many things. Everything with which we come in contact is a testimony to God as Creator.

Today I shall ...

... try to be more aware of the omnipresence of God, and to be attentive to the marvels of nature that testify to His infinite wisdom.

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12 Cheshvan

Fortunate is the person who fears God, and has a great desire for His mitzvos (Psalms 112:1).

We think of fear as a negative emotion, so we try to eliminate it. We therefore lose sight of the fact that fear can also be constructive. Fear motivates us to drive cautiously even when in a great hurry, and fear makes a diabetic adhere to his diet and take his insulin daily.

Religion has often been criticized for advocating the fear of God. This criticism may be justified if we were conditioned to think of Him as an all-powerful Being holding a huge club, ready to beat a sinner to a pulp for doing something wrong. All ethical works discourage the use of this type of fear as motivation. Rather, fear of God should be understood to mean the fear of the harmful consequences that are inherent in violating His instructions. The Psalmist says that wickedness itself destroys the wicked person (see Psalms 34:22).

"Fortunate is the person who fears God," in the sense that "he has great desire for His mitzvos" (Psalms 112:1). It is only natural for one to desire the very best, and the realization that observing the mitzvos is indeed in one's best interest should constitute the "fear" that should deter someone from transgressing the Divine will.

Today I shall ...

... try to realize that observance of the mitzvos is in my best interest, and that I should fear transgressing the mitzvos in the same way I fear any injurious act.

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13 Cheshvan

O, God, who will dwell in Your tabernacle, who will rest on Your holy mountain? ... One who speaks the truth in his heart ... who swears to his own hurt but will not retract (Psalms 15:1-4).

In their mind's eye, people believe that they are acting as truthfully as possible. We all know, however, how easily we can deceive ourselves. Since truth may be elusive, how then can we know that we have the truth?

There is a useful litmus test. We can know that we have the truth when we have the courage to feel the pain of accepting the truth. People lie because they think the lie will be less painful or costly for them than the truth.

People often fail to grow because they are reluctant to face the painful truth that they have done wrong. We have an innate tendency to avoid pain, and therefore we are apt to conjure up rationalizations that justify our behavior. These rationalizations are nothing but lies ― sometimes clever and convincing, but lies nonetheless. Facing the truth and accepting the pain that comes with it requires courage.

People who "speak the truth in their heart," says the Psalmist, do not retract their word even if it is to their own hurt. On the other hand, those who constantly seek to change everything to conform to their maximum comfort are only lying to themselves.

Today I shall ...

...

try to be courageous and not automatically withdraw from everything that is painful. I shall try to examine my actions to make sure I am not sacrificing truth for comfort.

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14 Cheshvan

Three types of people live an unlivable life: those who are overly compassionate, overly irritable, or overly sensitive (Pesachim 113b).

Why is being overly sensitive so unlivable? If we sustain a severe sunburn, we avoid contact with other people, because what would normally be a friendly pat on the back or a gentle caress can cause exquisite pain.

Our emotions can become as overly sensitive as our skin, and things which would otherwise be neutral, if not pleasant, may be very painful. To avoid being hurt, we may withdraw from human contact or set up other barriers to communication.

The ego is the source for this touchiness. When people's egos become inflated, they feel superior to others and imagine that they deserve more recognition. No amount of recognition is sufficient, however, and other people's innocent comments or actions are misinterpreted as insults or slights.

Unlike sunburnt skin, ego-burnt emotions are not easily recognized. This lack of awareness may then cause these poor people to think that others intend to harm them. Such misinterpretations will make their lives unlivable.

Today I shall ...

... try to avoid reacting reflexively to painful experiences, and try to understand that my discomfort may be due to my sensitivity rather than to others' behavior.

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15 Cheshvan

If a person has a worry in his heart, let him relate it to others (Proverbs 12:25, Yoma 75a).

Many people are hesitant to share their painful feelings with others. They may not wish to burden others with their problems, or they may be too ashamed to reveal their thoughts and feelings. The Scriptures and Talmud advocate the value of ventilating problems.

Rabbi Elimelech of Lizensk stated: "One should regularly relate to one's mentor or to a trusted friend all the improper thoughts and feelings one has experienced ... and this is an incomparable technique (for proper conduct)."

The value of sharing our troublesome thoughts, feelings, and actions with another person is inestimable. First, by not repressing our true feelings, we become more honest with ourselves. Second, by elucidating our problems with someone else, we may gain greater insight into them and even discover their solutions. Third, by considering our problem from a non-biased perspective, the listener can give an opinion far more objective than we could ever formulate on our own.

Rabbi Elimelech recommends that such sharing be done regularly. Troublesome thoughts and feelings should not be allowed to accumulate. Not only can they add up to become overwhelming, they can also fester, become even more serious, and therefore be more difficult to eliminate.

Today I shall ...

... find someone whom I can trust with my most private thoughts and feelings, and relieve myself of the burdensome baggage I have been carrying.

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16 Cheshvan

It is a Divine kindness that His mercies are endless (Lamentations 3:22).

Another way to translate this verse is, "It is a Divine kindness that we are never finished."

The Maggid of Koznitz was extremely frail and sickly as a child. It was not thought that he would survive to adulthood. Much of his life was spent sick in bed, and he was so weak that he was often unable to sit up to meet visitors. Still, he lived to an advanced age.

The Maggid once revealed the secret of his longevity. "I never allowed myself to be without an assignment or a task to perform," he said. "People are taken from this world only when their missions here are completed. Whenever I was just about to finish one task, I would start another; hence, I could not be removed from this world if my assignment was not completed."

Even from a purely physiological aspect, the Maggid's concept is valid. Some think that the healthiest thing for us is rest and relaxation. Not so. In reality, unused muscles tend to atrophy, while muscles that are exercised and stimulated are strengthened.

The same principle applies to the entire person. If we constantly stimulate ourselves to achieve new goals, we avoid the apathy that leads to atrophy.

Today I shall ...

... try to take on a new spiritual goal, and stimulate myself to greater achievement in serving God and being of help to other people.

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17 Cheshvan

May the Merciful One lift the yoke of exile from our necks and lead us upright to our land (Grace After Meals).

Rabbi Naftali of Ropschitz related that a Russian czar was inspecting his troops on the front lines, when one enemy soldier took aim at him. A brave Russian soldier threw himself at the czar, pushed him out of the line of fire, and thereby saved his life. The grateful czar told the soldier that he would reward him by granting any request he made. The soldier complained that his sergeant was very cruel to him, and asked the czar to order the sergeant to treat him more kindly.

"You fool!" the czar responded. "You should have asked to be made a senior officer, and then the sergeant would have to take orders from you!"

Rabbi Naftali commented that we come before God with a variety of petty requests, forgetting that the single request we should be making is to be returned to our homeland and to the glory of old, and then all our other requests would be fulfilled.

As we thank God for our food and ask Him to continue to provide for us, we are reminded not to be as foolish as the soldier, but rather to make the most important request of all - that we be returned to the position of favor in the eyes of God.

Today I shall ...

...

try to remember that our greatest need is that we be what which we were chosen to be - a kingdom of priests and a sacred nation.

[phkrause]

18 Cheshvan

Arise before an aged person, and give honor to one mature in wisdom (Leviticus 19:32).

Although they are basically God-fearing and wish to do what is right, many people have not succeeded in the struggle to overcome their temptations. In judging their shortcomings, however, it is important to evaluate their underlying attitude - do they truly respect the proper course of action and those who are more successful than they in having it?

Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berdichev told of a general who lost an important battle. His king replaced him as commander. Now that the deposed general was vulnerable, his enemies accused him of treason, claiming that he had intentionally lost the battle. When the new commander, who subsequently was victorious, was honored for his triumph, the first general genuinely rejoiced at his successor's celebration. The king then dismissed the treason charges. "Had he been disloyal, he would not have celebrated his successor's victory. That he did so proves that his defeat was simply due to his lack of ability, and not to treason"

Similarly, said Rabbi Levi Yitzchok, even if one is lax in full observance of the mitzvos, the fact that one honors those who do observe the mitzvos indicates that one's intentions are good, but that one has just not been strong enough to resist temptation. The desire to do good, however, is likely to predominate ultimately.

By honoring talmidei chachamim (Torah scholars), one indicates the desire to do the will of God.

Today I shall ...

... show my respect for those who are more learned and more committed to Torah observance than I am.

[phkrause]

19 Cheshvan

You shall rebuke your friend (Leviticus 19:17).

A famous maggid (preacher) once visited Rabbi Chaim of Sanz. Rabbi Chaim complained to him that since he was a Rebbe, a leader, no one ever rebuked him for anything. He asked the maggid to please tell him where he could improve himself.

The maggid remarked that he was surprised that Rabbi Chaim's house did not have the requisite square cubit of unfinished wall space that one is to leave as a reminder of the ruin of the Temple. Rabbi Chaim promptly arose and scraped the paint off an area of the wall, deeply thanking the maggid for calling his attention to this delinquency.

We are often unable to see our own faults. Still, most people dislike rebuke. Even if they are not frankly offended by someone else pointing out their imperfections, they are rarely grateful for being reprimanded. Knowing that we might react defensively, people who note our mistakes and are in a position to rebuke us will be reluctant to provoke us. We should actively encourage them, as Rabbi Chaim did, for we can learn from their observations, eliminate our character defects, and thereby better ourselves.

Today I shall ...

... try to encourage others to tell me what I might be doing that they consider wrong, and be sincerely grateful to anyone who provides constructive criticism.