Arranged Marriages and Adventism

[Nicodema]

Quote:

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The answeres may be inside you. Professional counselors help people to discover those answers. They often do not directly provide them. They help people to become independent, not dependent on others to tell them what to do, and to make careful decisions about their lives.

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The only answers inside of me, Gregory, are the ones that led me to make the mistakes that I made. If I rely upon my own wisdom and "answers" I will have no assurance that I am not making the same mistakes I made before. The only consolation I have right now is that I will be making them for God instead of for Satan. Frankly, given what's at stake? That's cold comfort. Well, maybe not -- at least God will be my help and strength if I mess up honestly. But there's still no guarantee I won't make the same mistakes for the same reasons -- chase down something that is the product of a religious delusion -- only now about God rather than about Satan.

[Dr. Shane]

Sister Nico, I know this much, the right answers arn't inside of me either. If you consult a Christian counselor he or she will approach it from the perspective that all the right answers are in the Bible. Many such counselors will share Scriptures with you in such a way that God can guide you and not the counselor. After all, we all need to be dependant on God and not another human being.

[Gregory Matthews]

Nico, I may have stated my premise poorly. My intention was to state that people have to reach the answeres themselvs. God has not intended that we be dependent upon others. That is why God has given us free will.

Counselors can help people to understand the dynamics present in prior poor decisons, come to terms with those, decide on what they want, set goals, develop plans to implement those goals and carry them out. In that sense the answers do lie within oneself. [NOTE: I do not exclude God from this process, God is involved.]

In short, and less wordy: You can develop insight into why you have made poor decisions in your past. You can learn to make better decisions in your future.

[Lauralea]

In India I have read there is a very high suicide rate among the young women. Of course they mainly have non Christian families and their best interests or feelings are not taken into account in many cases.

Maybe operating from the principles of converted Christians and letting the Lord lead is the main thing. As EGW said, we may love, but we are not to love blindly. And of course this is a challenge. Operating form unsanctified wishes, whether the selfishness and greed of parents or blind emotionalism of children, is not wise. Prayer and seeking the Lord's will are.