Lesbian Couple's Son Tommy Wants to Be Tammy

[John317]

Controversial Therapy for Pre-Teen Transgender Patient Raises Questions

By Perry Chiaramonte

Published October 17, 2011

A lesbian couple in California who say their 11-year-old son Tommy who wants to be a girl named Tammy are giving their child hormone blockers that delay the onset of puberty -- so that he can have more time that he can have more time to decide if he wants to change his gender.

The couple’s supporters say the Hormone Blocking Therapy has only minor side effects and is appropriate for a child who is unsure of his gender. "This is definitely a changing landscape for transgender youth," said Joel Baum, director of education and training for Gender Spectrum, a California-based non-profit group. "This is about giving kids and their families the opportunity to make the right decision."

But critics of the treatment say 11-year-olds are not old enough to make life-altering decisions about changing their gender, and parents should not be encouraging them. They say it’s too soon to tell what the side effects of the treatments may be, and they say Tommy’s parents, Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel, are irresponsible for seeking them and allowing them to be administered.

"This is child abuse. It's like performing liposuction on an anorexic child," said Dr. Paul McHugh, professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University.

"It is a disorder of the mind. Not a disorder of the body. Dealing with it in this way is not dealing with the problem that truly exists.

“We shouldn't be mucking around with nature. We can’t assume what the outcome will be," McHugh said.

Dr. Manny Alvarez, senior managing health editor of FoxNews.com, said the hormone blockers also may pose a medical risk. "I think that it’s highly inappropriate to be interfering with natural hormonal growth patterns,” Alvarez said. “There are significant potential problems necessary for growth and development.

"Potential long-term effects can include other abnormalities of hormones, vascular complications and even potential cancer. I think that if this child – as he finishes his puberty and teenage years – decides to undergo a transgender procedure – then there are proper channels to do so.

“But to do it at the age of 11 -- to me -- could be potentially dangerous to the health of this child," he said.

Tommy's parents, Moreno and Lobel, say they support their child and feel this is the best way for him to find an answer to a question he’s been asking all his life. They say Tommy – whom they now call Tammy – began taking GnRH inhibitors over the summer so that he will remain a prepubescent boy until he turns 14 or 15. They say they want to give him more time to explore the female gender identity that he associates with.

Thomas began saying he was a girl when he was 3 years old, his parents said in an interview with the Daily Mail. He was learning sign language due to a speech impediment, and one of the first things he told his mothers was, “I am a girl.” They say they thought he was confused or mistaken, and signed back, 'No. No. Thomas is a boy."

But Thomas insisted, they said. He shook his head “no” and repeated what he had signed.

They said Thomas threatened to mutilate his genitals when he was 7, and psychiatrists diagnosed a gender identity disorder.

One year later, he began transitioning to Tammy.

After much deliberation with family and therapists, the child began taking hormone blockers a few months ago. The medication, which must be changed once a year, was implanted in the boy’s upper left arm.

Tommy will continue this treatment until he turns 14 or 15, at which point he will be taken off the blockers and pursue the gender he feels is the right one. He will then either start his puberty cycle as a boy – or begin making the full transition to a girl.

"There's an increase of children who are telling their parents that they are a different gender. We're trying to understand why there's an increase," said Diane Ehrensaft, a developmental and clinical psychologist and author of the book, "Gender-Born. Gender-Made," who says the trend may be due to a more open society.

But while chemicals are giving children like Tommy more time to decide which side of the fence they belong on, some critics say that some children who question their identity at a very young age might change their mind when they start adolescence.

"Most transgender patients will say that they knew at 6 years old. But what we don't know is how many others had those thoughts and feelings that went away once they hit puberty," said Dr. Jeffrey Spiegel, a professor at Boston University and a plastic surgeon who specializes in facial feminization operations for transgender men.

"While it may be a good therapy for those who've committed to transgender, it may not be good for those who might have changed their mind once they hit puberty and beyond."

Walt Heyer, whose book "Paper Genders" details his own experience transitioning from a man to a woman and back again, agreed. "The blockers should NOT be introduced to a child," Heyer said. "If they are going to make a transition, they should wait to do so when they reach 18 to 20 years old. When you start the therapy at that age you are not dealing with the fact that the mind is not fully developed."

Heyer also cited a Dutch study that said 61 percent of individuals who desire a gender change are found to have secondary psychiatric disorders, such as depression or dissociative disorder, which he suffered from.

Other critics asked whether Tommy’s same-sex parents may be unknowingly influencing his questions about his gender.

“Undue influence on the child simply has to be ruled out,” said psychiatrist Keith Ablow, a Fox News contributor. “It's the psychologically correct thing to do, the ethical thing to do and the moral thing to do."

"Obviously, when two females adopt a male child, then assert that the child is not actually male, but is, instead, actually a female -- like both of them. Everyone in the family should be psychologically evaluated in a comprehensive way before a step like gender reassignment is considered,” said Ablow.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/17/controversial-therapy-for-young-transgender-patients-raises-questions/?icid=maing-grid7%7Caim%7Cdl22%7Csec3_lnk1%7C105175#ixzz1bAKoDrlW

[phkrause]

Sad, very sad.

[phkrause]

JOHN317

WELL that is an interesting article...but i do feel

sorry for the 11 year old boy i am sure he is

confused

dgrimm60

Definitely dgrimm. What's he suppose to do, he has no idea what he is.

[SivartM]

Edit: Incredibly stupid post I wrote at night without thinking; disregard

Definitely dgrimm. What's he suppose to do, he has no idea what he is.

Who does know "what he is"? I don't know what exactly I would do if I had a child who expressed transgendered thoughts but I don't think I would just tell them what they are as if I know better than they do because their birth certificate says M or F so what is there to argue about? [That sentence is horrible but I don't feel like editing it, so... sorry.]

The idea behind the hormone blockers is to simply hold back puberty until they are at a more mature age and have a better idea of what they want. Nobody's giving the kid estrogen or doing surgery.

Since everyone will reply saying something like, "Well, what does the Bible say about this, though? [bible references] Gender is sacred from God and are you saying people can just do whatever they want, how secular and liberal of you." I'm not saying that it's right or wrong to be transgendered, I'm just saying; it's the kid's business, it's the parents' business to do what they think is best whether it fits your opinion or not, and you should at least keep in mind that nobody is doing anything drastic right now.

[phkrause]

Who does know "what he is"? I don't know what exactly I would do if I had a child who expressed transgendered thoughts but I don't think I would just tell them what they are as if I know better than they do because their birth certificate says M or F so what is there to argue about? [That sentence is horrible but I don't feel like editing it, so... sorry.]

The idea behind the hormone blockers is to simply hold back puberty until they are at a more mature age and have a better idea of what they want. Nobody's giving the kid estrogen or doing surgery.

Since everyone will reply saying something like, "Well, what does the Bible say about this, though? [bible references] Gender is sacred from God and are you saying people can just do whatever they want, how secular and liberal of you." I'm not saying that it's right or wrong to be transgendered, I'm just saying; it's the kid's business, it's the parents' business to do what they think is best whether it fits your opinion or not, and you should at least keep in mind that nobody is doing anything drastic right now.

Is it not opinions we give here????? I suppose you like the trend this earth is going in? And what is wrong with people giving Bible reference's as to this situation? Are people not aloud to there opinions. Or would you like everyone to just agree with you?? I stand by my post.

[John317]

Is it not opinions we give here????? I suppose you like the trend this earth is going in? And what is wrong with people giving Bible reference's as to this situation? Are people not aloud to there opinions. Or would you like everyone to just agree with you?? I stand by my post.

Yes, this is a great place to give opinions and it's also a great place to give Bible references.

You wrote a good post, pk.

[Jeannieb43]

The boy's confusion is compounded by the fact that both his parents are female. He has no male role model.

[John317]

Very true. I was wondering when someone would mention that fact. It is so, so important.

There's also the possibility that he didn't hear much that's positive about being male.

As someone who struggles with gender-identification myself, I understand how important it is to be see good male role-models and to hear how good it is to be male.

[phkrause]

The boy's confusion is compounded by the fact that both his parents are female. He has no male role model.

Exactly Jeannieb43, and if people can't see that, that's even sadder.

[phkrause]

Very true. I was wondering when someone would mention that fact. It is so, so important.

There's also the possibility that he didn't hear much that's positive about being male.

As someone who struggles with gender-identification myself, I understand how important it is to be see good male role-models and to hear how good it is to be male.

If I'm not mistaken I've read something about that many years ago on how that effects young boys and girls when they don't have that role model.

[John317]

If I'm not mistaken I've read something about that many years ago on how that effects young boys and girls when they don't have that role model.

Yes, and the thing is, not all boys and girls need it to the same degree. There are some children who need it more than others because they have a problem in that area of their life. If they receive help in the way of strong role models and of people who know what to do for them, their lives won't go in the same direction that it will if they don't have good role models. On top of not having good role models, some kids also have experiences during critical times in their lives which push them in a certain direction that they might not otherwise go.

[Gerr]

Confused about his gender and then the m.... parents are giving him hormone-blocking therapy? Allowing his natural hormones to develop should help solve the confusion! They are destroying this child's life! I am outraged!

[John317]

I don't blame you, Gerry. Frankly, I am surprised that not more people are outraged.

It would be different if he had physiological characteristics which showed he should have been a girl, but otherwise, he should be allowed to make the decision when he is mature and able to think things through. There's no way he can do that now.

Giving him the hormone-blocking therapy will change how he thinks and feels about himself. It will basically push him even further in the direction of feeling himself to be a girl.

[Planey]

This is an excerpt from an opinion column in a Sydney newspaper:

"Tampering with the basic biology of an 11-year-old boy is child abuse, no matter how well-meaning his mothers are.

They have been sold the lie that sexual identity is fluid, when every cell in the boy's body is imprinted with the XY male chromosome. You can butcher his body and create artificial breasts but he will always be male.

Doctors should be banned from prescribing hormones to healthy children. When I asked a child psychologist yesterday what kind of doctor would treat this boy, he replied: "One with the ethics of a cash register."

Couldn't agree more.

Graeme

[Overaged]

I think the poor lad has been brain-washed by the "parents."

[John317]

Couldn't agree more.

[Overaged]

This is an excerpt from an opinion column in a Sydney newspaper:

"Tampering with the basic biology of an 11-year-old boy is child abuse, no matter how well-meaning his mothers are.

They have been sold the lie that sexual identity is fluid, when every cell in the boy's body is imprinted with the XY male chromosome. You can butcher his body and create artificial breasts but he will always be male.

Doctors should be banned from prescribing hormones to healthy children. When I asked a child psychologist yesterday what kind of doctor would treat this boy, he replied: "One with the ethics of a cash register."

Couldn't agree more.

Graeme

I agree; except for the fact that the article says the boy has "mothers;" and that is just plain ridiculous. But I do agree, this kind of thing is worse than child abuse.

[phkrause]

This is an excerpt from an opinion column in a Sydney newspaper:

"Tampering with the basic biology of an 11-year-old boy is child abuse, no matter how well-meaning his mothers are.

They have been sold the lie that sexual identity is fluid, when every cell in the boy's body is imprinted with the XY male chromosome. You can butcher his body and create artificial breasts but he will always be male.

Doctors should be banned from prescribing hormones to healthy children. When I asked a child psychologist yesterday what kind of doctor would treat this boy, he replied: "One with the ethics of a cash register."

Couldn't agree more.

Graeme

[Bravus]

One little quick question: how many children of heterosexual couples have experienced gender dysphoria? How do you account for that?

[Parade Orange]

many many

like most

very most

ho hum

dont confuse the people with the facts

[Overaged]

One little quick question: how many children of heterosexual couples have experienced gender dysphoria? How do you account for that?

Well; first we should note what "gender dysphoria" is. Word Web Dictionary says it like this: "Abnormal depression and discontent," so what you are asking about is "abnormal depression and discontent" regarding their gender. (am I correct?)

I believe that in the case of the 11 yr old boy mentioned in this OP, we are talking about something different than "gender dysphoria."

There are quite a few reasons why this kind of scenario could happen to a heterosexual couple's child, IF indeed that is what they have.

But in the case of the OP and that 11 year old child; things are quite specific, and quite obvious.

[Bravus]

Obvious given a certain set of prejudices, sure. When there is a well established pattern of other causes of these particular mental maladies, just choosing to home in on one case in which we can make guesses about the causes out of our prejudices rather than the evidence is... sloppy thinking.

[Overaged]

Obvious given a certain set of prejudices, sure. When there is a well established pattern of other causes of these particular mental maladies, just choosing to home in on one case in which we can make guesses about the causes out of our prejudices rather than the evidence is... sloppy thinking.

I think the "prejudice" is not evident where you say it is. How would you prove this?

[Bravus]

'Prove' is not a word I work with, for reasons drawn from the philosophy of science, but I have already provided evidence that supports what I'm saying: many, many children from heterosexual families are transgender. So there is simply no evidence to support the notion that it is his parent's sexuality or family situation that has caused this child's condition, and considerable evidence that it is not.

[Dr. Shane]

We know that transgender kids can come out of heterosexual homes. I think the unknown is whether or not they are more likely to come out of gay homes. The gay home itself is a relatively new phenomenon. Two gay people living together and raising children together has not been accepted for even a generation. One would have to do a study to find out what the probability is of a child raised by heterosexual parents of becoming GLT and then find out what the probability is of it occurring with a child raised by GLT parents. Then one could judge if the parents' sexuality has a significant impact on the children's sexuality.

I would think that it wouldn't in most cases as the suspected causes of homosexuality in Christian counseling circles does not sit so much with the parent's sexuality as much as the type of loving relationship (or lack of) between the child and parent and the introduction of sexual abuse or erotica at a young age. A lesbian or a gay male couple that are very loving to their child and protect them from sexual abuse and erotic material should be able to raise a perfectly healthy child - even according to Christian counseling philosophy. I would think the greatest concern would be a nasty break-up (which is more common among gays than the 50% heterosexual divorce rate) or a physically abusive home where the spouses are abusing each other (also more common in gay relationships than heterosexual).