OzarkWoman Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I was reading the thread about Pipim and I was struck by this quote from a poster, "Unchaperoned encounters should not be an accepted practice." I would like to know what everyone thinks of it. Myself, I see no problem with pastors being alone with female members. I was alone a lot with my pastor and so have many other women within the church. He always conducted himself as a complete gentleman. Yes, he hugged and held me when I was very emotional after my husband died and I would hate the thought that a pastor could not show their own emotions and be compassionate with female members. Quote
cricket Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I think it is wise to always have an option for a client to be seen in the company of two persons when he/she feels uncomfortable in the presence of only one. This is especially true for students, patients and those seeking faith-based counseling. Likewise, if a teacher, doctor, pastor or counselor feels as if seeing a student, patient or church member might be threatening to their job security or personal rights, then they should always have another person there as witness to the interactions. Quote
OzarkWoman Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 I think it is wise to always have an option for a client to be seen in the company of two persons when he/she feels uncomfortable in the presence of only one. This is especially true for students, patients and those seeking faith-based counseling. Likewise, if a teacher, doctor, pastor or counselor feels as if seeing a student, patient or church member might be threatening to their job security or personal rights, then they should always have another person there as witness to the interactions. Quote
Gordon1 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I think it is wise to always have an option for a client to be seen in the company of two persons when he/she feels uncomfortable in the presence of only one. This is especially true for students, patients and those seeking faith-based counseling. Likewise, if a teacher, doctor, pastor or counselor feels as if seeing a student, patient or church member might be threatening to their job security or personal rights, then they should always have another person there as witness to the interactions. Those appear to be good measures for the secular world cricket. The Church has a higher standard for opposite gender contact, but does not adhere. Feelings of comfort/discomfort are unsafe guidelines. Quote
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted June 13, 2012 Members Posted June 13, 2012 The Church has a higher standard for opposite gender contact.. really? what is the Church "standard"? (not trying to be sarcastic...I would genuinely like to know) Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others?
CoAspen Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Good answer for counseling. There may be times of confidense needed and it would not be appropriate for a second person....another reason for women as pastors!!! Quote
CoAspen Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Originally Posted By: Gordon1 The Church has a higher standard for opposite gender contact.. really? what is the Church "standard"? (not trying to be sarcastic...I would genuinely like to know) Same as always, women on one side of church, men on the other!!! Quote
Administrators Gail Posted June 13, 2012 Administrators Posted June 13, 2012 Many of our offices have windows Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.
Moderators Gerr Posted June 13, 2012 Moderators Posted June 13, 2012 I know a pastor who has gotten in trouble in at least 3 places for unchaperoned counseling that led to inappropriate relationships. A doctor would be foolish to examine a female without another person in the room. Quote
Members phkrause Posted June 13, 2012 Members Posted June 13, 2012 Good answer for counseling. There may be times of confidense needed and it would not be appropriate for a second person....another reason for women as pastors!!! Even though I do agree with you! There are many female counselors, etc., and oh ya there are female pastors! The church we joined after moving here to Florida had a female pastor, who just gave it up. Her husband also a pastor was the chaplain at one of the hospitals in the area and he just retired. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Woody Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Quote: Same as always, women on one side of church, men on the other!!! YOu may think your statement is shocking. But that is the way the church raised me. Going to academy - that was the way it was. In fact - there was an invisible line that sent through the campus and right down the middle of church. You dare not cross it. Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
CoAspen Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 That is the memory behind the quote! Faculty hated it when non-Acadamy students attended functions!! SOCIAL BOUND!!!!! Quote
Administrators Naomi Posted June 14, 2012 Administrators Posted June 14, 2012 I don't believe this just applies to pastors or doctors, but to everyone in public or professional life. Even when interviewing for employment in a male dominated industry I always had one of the guys with me. And, it was suggested that the men do the same if they were interviewing a potential employee. I had a coworker who was accused of making sexual remarks to a lady who he was interviewing for a job. And, another case in which the gender was reversed. If a person has something so private that they can't discuss it with another person in the room, then perhaps it shouldn't be discussed. Personally I have found men easier to talk to than another woman ... most of the time, that is. Of course I do believe that a person can discuss even the most difficult of situations without sharing every little dirty detail. Quote If your dreams are not big enough to scare you, they are not big enough for God
born_again1 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Weren't Pipim and the young woman in his hotel room? I don't know how that could get more inappropriate. Quote
Members rudywoofs (Pam) Posted June 14, 2012 Members Posted June 14, 2012 Same as always, women on one side of church, men on the other!!! lol... At the Adventist seminary in Austria, the ladies sat on the left side of the aisle in church, and their male counterparts sat on the right side. We could, however, sit together at the same table in the cafeteria. Quote Pam Meddle Not In the Affairs of Dragons; for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good with Ketchup. If we all sang the same note in the choir, there'd never be any harmony. Funny, isn't it, how we accept Grace for ourselves and demand justice for others?
Woody Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 That is the memory behind the quote! Faculty hated it when non-Acadamy students attended functions!! SOCIAL BOUND!!!!! Yes. The accusation of PDA was a terrible offense to overcome. Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
Moderators Gerr Posted June 14, 2012 Moderators Posted June 14, 2012 lol... At the Adventist seminary in Austria, the ladies sat on the left side of the aisle in church, and their male counterparts sat on the right side. We could, however, sit together at the same table in the cafeteria. They just didn't want you thinking but holy thoughts in church! Quote
Gordon1 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I don't believe this just applies to pastors or doctors, but to everyone in public or professional life. Agreed. And if we accepted this as the rule for all public and personal dealings, we would be on safer grounds. (Who are those peculiar people??) Quote
Stan Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 What needs to happen is that their co-workers ie their wife, needs to be with them, and should be paid. Quote If you receive benefit to being here please help out with expenses. https://www.paypal.me/clubadventist Administrator of a few websites like https://adventistdating.com
cricket Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 If the wife is trained to be a witness to such events, or if she is ordained to help minister, that might be all right. Some spouses would only complicate things, IMO. Quote
olger Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 What needs to happen is that their co-workers ie their wife, needs to be with them I agree. Quote "Please don't feed the drama queens.."
OzarkWoman Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 I think that the wives of pastors should get some kind of stipend from the conference because they do a lot of work and their own ministries too. Quote
Gordon1 Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 What needs to happen is that their co-workers ie their wife, needs to be with them. Yes Stan, this would make a world of change in the church. Quote
Members phkrause Posted June 16, 2012 Members Posted June 16, 2012 Originally Posted By: Stan What needs to happen is that their co-workers ie their wife, needs to be with them I agree. I will raise your agree to one more agree. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
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