The Use of Racial Slurs in CA

[Woody]

Thanks for your participation and help Bravus.

[Parade Orange]

Redwood I understand what your saying now!

I work at a truckstop and its easy to be in and around an element that u just expect certain things.

Many are nice Tranportation Specialists and deserve our sincere and utmost service.

but alas...

{looks off into space}

we deal with a grossly large percentage of nastyness rawness and illways of customers that brings me down.

and I start to get short and nasty with others

when I am not at work!

{focuses eyes back on puter}

You come here as I did (two years ago) expecting a christian in a christian forum would be upset to find the possibillity that he or she offended someone.

But I dont think it thinks like its here for that exactly.

and Shane is a nice guy(i dont know him ,though we have had some wonderful chat here)

and I am unaware of your history with him,Redwood.

Has Shane said something to u before?

I live among many hispanics and work with them.

For years!

and i never heard a hispanic call me the "G" word.

uhhh can we type in the "G " word or is it automatically 'censored" like [censored] or [censored]?

there is a movie I believe called "G" staring Bette Davies and Crawford.. no no that was something else...

o yes

"G" staring Jimmy Smits and Jane Fonda(love Jane)!!!

but I digress

[Dr. Shane]

According to Wikipedia the term has more to do with language than race.

Gringo

The Spanish etymologist Joan Corominas states that gringo is derived from griego (Spanish for "Greek"), the proverbial name for an unintelligible language (a usage found also in the Shakespearean "it was Greek to me" and its derivative "It's all Greek to me"). From referring simply to language, it was extended to people speaking foreign tongues and to their physical features - similar to the development of the ancient Greek word βάρβαρος (bárbaros) - "Barbarian".

I think Bravus already posted this part:

many native speakers who use it do not do so pejoratively. There is also some variation in the connotation of this word from country to country within Latin America. In some regions of Uruguay, Argentina, Paraguay and nearby areas, gringo is used nonpejoratively to refer to any European immigrant other than one from Spain or Portugal.

For those that don't understand the word "pejoratively," it means "having a disparaging, derogatory, or belittling effect or force."

I used the bloke example because it reveals that due to my lack of education, I thought I was called a name when in fact I was not. I felt kind of like the country hick that couldn't understand those big-city words.

BTW: I never use another's username in a post when confronting or disagreeing with them. I consider that inflamatory. I don't even use the pronoun "you". The other day I used Bravus' name in a post where I pondered if he could be part of a global, scientific conspiracy. I was in no way trying to offend him and he picked up on my use of light humor.

[Dr. Shane]

Quote:

"G" staring Jimmy Smits and Jane Fonda(love Jane)!!!

Rated R, I don't think I will buy it.

[Parade Orange]

Thanku Shane

Old "G"!

its all coming back to me now.

Somebody answer my question! please

can I say the "G" word?

i dont want to be censored like I am when I say..

umm

[censored] or [censored]

or

[censored] faggot or bluenosed baboon

Hey^ It let me say it!

Shane I will give an opinion on this cause I have been called a few slures here when I first came onboard.

No one apologized

they stood their ground and had the whole Bible to prove they were right!

at that moment it looked like they cared more about the rightness and not the rightouseness

[Parade Orange]

When I read

the

"G" word

I dont think of half that title of that Jane Fonda(love her!!!) and Jimmy whatis face movie!

I think of that other "G" word!

of course its not a bad word!

but I know a few (more) silly fuddy duddies

Who has all lamented to me over and over again

" O woe is me..Why did they take that word that meant happy and blessed and make it so bad and depraved! "

And of course (as u can all imagine) I would sympathize and say "there there" to the clown.

Because then they would go on the tirade

" they even took our Rainbow that God gave mankind as a promise to never destroy the earth with water again !!!"

and made IT TheIR F L A A A A G!

!

o well

what can I say?

Faggot wasnt exactly embraced by the gay community cause

when people(christians also) say the "F" word to them..

it in essence not recognizing them as Human beings and puts them on the level as dung just a bundle of sticks to be set ablaze!

thats what Faggot means: A bundle of sticks to be burned for heat and or punishment(to men caught in an unseemly act)

So no more lamenting how homos took a nice word and made it bad.

and about the rainbow?

Come on! if you are a bunch of dainty queens wearing spring frocks and drinking mimosas on a sunday afternoon in a park on a sunny day under a canopy and the vote comes up of what will your flag look like and u see The Rainbow in the selection..

wouldnt u go for it!

!

!

it wasnt meant as an offense to the delicate sensibilities of our straight neibhors(i know I know I cant spell)

[Woody]

Quote:

"G" staring Jimmy Smits and Jane Fonda(love Jane)!!!

Rated R, I don't think I will buy it.

Have you ever watched TV movies and shows ?

The N word is all over Hollywood. The N word is in shows are on Prime time TV meant for all audiences and it is not even rated at all. The N word is very accepted in Hollywood movies. And so if you want to use Hollywood as your Bible ... I think we can tell where you are coming from.

Do you now accept the N word? The dictionary describes Gring o and the N word in the same way.

[cricket]

Quote:

And so if you want to use Hollywood as your Bible ... I think we can tell where you are coming from.

This is over the top--completely over the top. I take offense at your use of the term "we". Speak for yourself; keep others out of your opinion.

[Parade Orange]

I never saw Old "G"

i wasnt saying that the "G" word is not a bad word.

I didnt grow up hearing that word in my world so the only refrence I have to that word is

that movie

even though I never saw it

I love watching a good Jane Fonda movie from the 70's and 80's now but I dont go out of my way to rent movies and if I did some saturday night go and rent

Old "G" looks like a

a western

and even though I know my Name inspires the Great Old West and hearding cows and riding bulls

and out with your buddies under a starry sky

and cooking beans and talking about pace picante sauce from new york..,

I am not into Westerns

[Woody]

Shane ... I will give you that some people do not consider the word to be a racial slur if that will make you feel better. I think you have proved that. But I do not believe that you can prove that all people believe that. I will concede that you have Hollywood on your side if that will help you feel better.

I am also willing to say that you probably did not mean to inflict pain. But it simply does not matter.You could use the N word and not intend to inflict pain. Your use of Gring o is offensive to a certain undetermined percentage of the population as evidenced by the dictionary and others in your community and in this forum. I would hope the weight of that .... that you would be sorry for your actions. I would refer you to the comment made by Bravus.

[Woody]

Quote:

And so if you want to use Hollywood as your Bible ... I think we can tell where you are coming from.

This is over the top--completely over the top. I take offense at your use of the term "we". Speak for yourself; keep others out of your opinion.

You are right Cricket ... I should have explained what I meant by the term we. I apologize. When I said "we" I was referring to my wife and I . "We" are both concerned about all this.

I apologize to any and all how may have felt that I was including them in the "we". I should have been more specific.

[Tom Wetmore]

Redwood,

So, if Shane does apologize what are you going to do? And how will that effect your sense of being offended? What happens to your hurt? How will you relate to Shane after that? Why? What makes the difference? Where does the real change take place? Who has control of that?

Now on the other hand, what if Shane never apologizes? What will you do then? What will you do with your sense of being offended? How long will you carry the hurt? How will you relate to Shane? Why?

Can you get to the end result of the first scenario only if Shane apologizes? Is there an alternate path that is not dependent on Shane?

Tom

[Barbara]

Good Greif

Shane was not using Hollywood as his Bible Parade Orange said

Quote:

there is a movie I believe called "G" staring Bette Davies and Crawford.. no no that was something else...

o yes

"G" staring Jimmy Smits and Jane Fonda(love Jane)!!!

and Shane replied by posting a picture of the movie.

Sure you were ofended by him using gring o, but by saying

Quote:

And so if you want to use Hollywood as your Bible ... I think we can tell where you are coming from.

it seemed that you are trying to strick back and offend him back.

[Woody]

Redwood,

So, if Shane does apologize what are you going to do? And how will that effect your sense of being offended? What happens to your hurt? How will you relate to Shane after that? Why? What makes the difference? Where does the real change take place? Who has control of that?

Now on the other hand, what if Shane never apologizes? What will you do then? What will you do with your sense of being offended? How long will you carry the hurt? How will you relate to Shane? Why?

Can you get to the end result of the first scenario only if Shane apologizes? Is there an alternate path that is not dependent on Shane?

Tom

Tom ... thank you for your good thought provoking questions. They are good serious questions. I don't know all the answers yet. Can you help me with them?

I can only guess. I have been damaged from this. I suppose I will not trust others as much as I have in the past. Perhaps that is a mixture of good and bad.

But. I do know that if Shane apologizes ... I can and will treat him with just as much respect as before and equal to anyone here in CA. I would find it easy to forgive him then. I do know that about myself.

If he does not apologize ... I will have a more cynical view of things. I will have some difficulty interacting with him in this forum but I suspect I will over time be able to forgive and forget with God's help.

I am not sure I have been able to answer all your questions Tom but I do appreciate your attempt to help me through this . I think those are questions I will have to deal with in my recovery of this. Thank you.

I will just add that I admit that I am a sensitive person. And Shane couldn't have known that. It is directly because of my upbringing of which I am not going to go in detail.

Perhaps this whole experience will help me toughen up some. I am not there yet. But ... if you knew of my background and life experience you would understand.

This is why I think we have to be so careful with our speech. We do not know how harsh words will effect others.

If a word is suspect ... then we should be careful. The word used is VERY suspect to say the least. I would think that Shane knowing all this ... it would have made him have some concern for the well being of a fellow Christian.

[Parade Orange]

yes thanku for the good questionings and Redwood's honest heartfelt answer...

So I guess its Shane's turn!

can I say the "G" word?

is the word itself offensive or just how it is used?

[Woody]

Quote:

Shane replied by posting a picture of the movie

.

Barbara ... you are right. In the heat of my frustration ... I read things wrong and responded in an inappropriate manner.

I would like to apologize to Shane for my mistake and error in judgment. Shane please accept my apologizes.

[David Koot]

Take care of your life and don't get involved in others lives.

[Woody]

Man, get a life! Two whole pages consumed for THIS?

I will say it once more David ... If you don't like reading about the topic of this thread which is Racial Slurs in CA ... then just don't come to this thread. But, don't criticize the fact that we have dialogue here.

Do you like ALL the topics of Club Adventist?

I would hope that you would respect that some people have a need or desire to participate in this forum topic . If your life doesn't need this at this point that is fine but don't get involved in critizing those lives who do need or want to participate which is their right in this forum unless you feel you can judge which forum threads are to be tolerated.

[Tom Wetmore]

...I do know that if Shane apologizes ... I would find it easy to forgive him then...

If he does not apologize ... I suspect I will over time be able to forgive and forget with God's help.

I am not sure I have been able to answer all your questions ...

Yes, you are well on your way to the answers. Please notice that forgiveness is in the hands (heart, really) of the offended irrespective of what the offender does or does not do.

Forgiveness does far more for the forgiver than it does for the forgiven. It is an intentional change of heart, a change of attitude toward the offender. When this dawned on me I began to look at God's forgiveness of me in a whole new light. The opposite of forgiveness is revenge, justified revenge. To forgive is to choose to give up our right to get even to meet out vengence on those who hurt us. Eventually with a changed attitude we can look at the offender in a new light.

I struggled and studied through issues of forgiveness with my small group for 12 weeks using a wonderful little book by the late Lewis B. Smedes, The Art of Forgiving. I highly recommend it.

Quote:

I will just add that I admit that I am a sensitive person... Perhaps this whole experience will help me toughen up some...

Toughening up is not the answer. Being impervious to pain is not forgiveness. It takes a sensitive person to forgive.

Go for it.

Tom

[Woody]

Tom. I have learned a lot from what you said. I intend to get the book that you suggested ... The Art of Forgiving.

Perhaps it will help me on this journey.

I appreciate your help. I will need the help of people like you. It is appreciated.

[Tom Wetmore]

You're welcome.

There is another book that illustrates that forgiveness is possible under even the most horrific circumstances. For a compelling true story of a difficult gut-wrenching deeply personal journey to peace of mind that only forgiveness can bring to the walking wounded, I recommend Forgiving the Dead Man Walking by Debbie Morris. This is her story, or as Paul Harvey would say, "the rest of the story." Many will recognize the allusion to the movie Dead Man Walking about the death row inmate convicted of kidnapping, murder and rape. This is the true story of the one survivor of that man's terrifying brutality and how she struggled toward forgiveness even after the man was executed.

Truly, "all things are possible..."

Tom

[Taylor]

The word in question by the way has nothing to do with sexual orientation. It has to do with what hispanics often call someone from North America. Apparently some consider it a put down. After having spent many years in latin countries and also having many hispanic frinds, this is the first time I have ever heard that it has ever been used in the context of "name calling" or a "put down." (And that is after living in 5 latin countries, visiting all the countries of Central America, and having several close relatives who have also been missionaries in latin countries for a total of around 80 years between them all (some who currently are still missionaries and some who were missionaries as long ago as 75 years ago). I have also lived in the USA for years as have many of my immediate relatives. So this interpretation has come as a huge surprise to me.

Having said that, Redwood, I am sorry it has been offensive to you. I think most, if not all people on Club Adventist do not say things to intentionally hurt. Oh, some have, but often they are people with deep issues who seem to be angry at the world in general. Thankfully such people are very few and far between and the ones I am thinking of I haven't seen posting here for months. Anyway, Redwood you have incredible value regardless of your skin color, age, race, religion, or gender.

[Taylor]

Tom I have always appreciated your level-headed kind and helpful remarks. Thanks for being a part of CA!

BTW on the topic of books on injustice or forgiveness what do you think about

"A Tale of Three Kings" by Gene Edwards (I've read this one.)

"Total Forgiveness" by R.T.Kendall (I haven't read this one through yet)

[D. Allan]

Quote:

D. Allen my pig is wearing lipstick right now!

Ha! Ha! Parade, you make me laugh!!!

~d.allan

[Woody]

Thank you to all of you ... those who have been patient with me and to those who we unable to understand and be patient. After a few comments by Tom and also one by Stan, I have been able to put this whole event into perspective and I would like to share it with you.

The issue was the word used on me ... Gring o. I was offended. But, I was later able to give Shane the benefit of the doubt. It became evident that some people took this as offensive and some did not. It didn't matter to Shane that the dictionary said it was hostile.

Later the issue for me was that Shane would not acknowledge that it was possible for a person to be offended and to say he was sorry that it hurt me.

With that introduction ... I would like to explain how I have been able to arrive at some resolution.

Let me explain about myself. I find apologizes very easy and natural. If someone tells me that I have offended them I will earnestly try to find how I have contributed to that and I apologize specifically for that. If I am not able to find anything ... then I apologize for the fact that what I did caused them to stumble or to be offended.There does not have to be any blame or fault. I have done this before and after the Shane situation.

Now I need to give some credit to Stan. Stan started a thread addressing why it is that so many people are interested in discussions of others not fulfilling our expectations of them. This is a good question. At first I thought of dogmatic teaching of Doctrines which I am very opposed to. Then I applied it to myself and the Shane situation. Because it is easy and natural for me to apologize ... does not mean that it is easy or natural for Shane to do so. We all have different and unique spiritual gifts. So ... how can I expect Shane to have the same gifts that God has given to me. I need to show Christian Love and tolerance to All of God's children. And I do not believe I have done so with Shane. So ... I would like to apologize to Shane for this. I have wronged him by expecting to much of him.

This has been a good learning experience for me and I feel I am a better person because of it. I no longer hold any hard feelings towards Shane. So ... I guess there is really no further need for this thread. But, I will hang on for those of you that might have further questions for me.

And I would like to again thank all of you that have been patient with me and stayed here to assist me in coming to a personal resolution. And to those who could not understand my need for resolution ... I would simply say that we do not all have the same spiritual gifts and I am sure you are able to bless others in different ways.

Another special thanks to Tom and Stan.

To better days ahead in the CA family.

REDWOOD