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The thread so far has been a little muddled, because responses have related to (a) abuse received personally, (b) abuse of others observed personally, (c) both or (d) one or the other but it's not always clear which. Another issue is abuse observed from afar, e.g. on television. I think I have probably grown enough that in most cases if I personally am abused I can step back, take a deep breath and think about what is said. If it is criticism of something I have actually done wrong, I try not to receive it as abuse, even if it isn't said very kindly, but to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. On the other hand, if it is undeserved, I try to see what is going on in the abuser's life that is causing the need to abuse me. (Side note: I'm talking about verbal abuse here, whether face-to-face, on the phone, by mail or email or in online forums. I am privileged as a broad-shouldered man who lives in a very safe place to never be subjected to any physical abuse, but I know that is by no means the case for others.) I am, of course, tempted to 'arc up' and argue back, but long experience has shown that it never makes things better, and I think I'm becoming pragmatic and phlegmatic enough to seek the most productive solution. While meeting abuse with abuse might be momentarily more emotionally satisfying, in the long term rising above abuse is more satisfying. If I see abuse of others, though, I will seek to step in to protect them: even if it's physical abuse and I need to step in physically. (Again, my age physique and gender privileges me in that, and perhaps also my appearance of having certain kinds of social power.) I still want to try to understand why the abuser abuses - understanding is not condoning - but stopping the abuse in its tracks is the much higher priority.

Sometimes, but not inevitably. It's important to come to understand the kinds of things that make the difference.

Reflecting on Jesus' experience on Calvary today evoked a more personal question: How well do you handle abuse? Do you fight back? Endure it? Try to escape? I think that all of us are victim to abuse at one time or another, something that another person inflicts upon us that causes us suffering.

maybe I'm easily amused, but this fascinated me!

Your primary concern should be your daughter. She cannot defend herself. She looks to you and needs you as her protector. As to what you should do to protect your daughter is a second issue that you must deal with. NOTE: I was once involved in a case where a man molested his step-daughter. The girls mother decided that it was in her best interests to support her husband. With that decision on the part of the mother, a decision was made that she should give up her parental rights and the girl should live with relatives.

I don't know exactly what the church's stance on your situation might be, but I'd drop the current wife like a hot potato if she isn't interested in changing her behavior. Who knows what damage she may have already caused your young daughter...

Read More Daily Jesus Scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 Starting Question: How has Jesus' gift on the cross reconciled you with God? How has Jesus' resurrection given you hope? Trusting Father ** Continued from Trusting God yesterday ** Abraham nodded ever so slightly. He moved the hand that rested on his son’s forehead, sliding it down to cover Isaac’s eyes. He may have to kill his son, but the boy didn’t need to see it happen. He tightened both hands—the knife in one, his son’s vision in the other. Abraham lifted the knife to his shoulder. Next he carved a slow arc in the air toward the chest of his son, stopping just before the tip of the blade touched his son’s skin. He repositioned the knife to where he knew his son’s beating heart lay just beneath the surface. He pulled the knife back to his shoulder and steeled himself for the real thing—the next arc of the knife would end his son’s life and please his God—their God. Every muscle in Abraham’s body went as taught as a trap ready to spring. Almost without intending to, Abraham thrust the knife toward his son’s chest. It was a hard, fast thrust—hard enough to accomplish the required task. Time seemed to stand still. Abraham saw the knife plunging toward his son, saw his other hand resting over his son’s eyes and felt the throbbing thud of his own heart beating in his chest. A voice ripped through the cosmos, stopping the knife mid-swing. “Abraham!” It was a loud, earth shattering voice. “Abraham!” the voice repeated. Every muscle in Abraham’s body released and relaxed. The hand holding the knife slipped to his side. The other hand slid off Isaac’s face. Abraham’s shoulders fell forward in exhaustion. All the tension flooded out of his body. Isaac looked up from the altar, his eyes wide. He, too, had heard the voice. In a gentle quiet voice Abraham replied, as he always did, “Here I am.” “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the voice said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly honour God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.” Reflection Question: When we help people heal their relationships (reconcile), how are we following Jesus' cross-and-tomb example? How does Abraham's full commitment challenge us in our "task of reconciling people to God?" Prayer time: Before you pray together, ask: What would you like to say to Jesus today? View the full article

I am also aware that males can be abused and that those who abuse may be female. But, in my professional experience, I have worked with females who were abused by males. And it was males who abused female children. Also people can be abused on the basis of their sexuality as well as many other alleged issues.

Great editing!! Very funny.

Read More Daily Jesus Scripture: John 3:16-17 Starting Question: Has your word ever been tested? Tell of a time when someone said to you, "You say that now but when it comes to the crunch, you won't do it." Disobedience Indicates Rebellion ** Continued from Trusting Son yesterday ** Once the ropes were tight, Abraham drew a large knife from his belt. He walked to the uphill side of the altar and looked down at his son—the son God had given him as a special gift—and placed his hand on Isaac’s forehead. “Isaac, my boy,” Abraham said, in little more than a whisper, “God promised me a son. You brought us such joy when you were born—we named you laughter! You have been such a blessing. I do not understand this day. I do not understand God’s request that I offer you as a sacrifice. But, God’s command was clear—clearer than ever. He said, ‘take your son, your only son, and offer him as a sacrifice to me on the mountain I will show you.’ And this is where He brought us. What am I to do, my boy?” Isaac turned his head under his father’s hand to look into the eyes of the man who loved him more than life itself. Before this moment, he had never seen his father cry. Isaac had heard all the stories about his father’s God: The God who had told Abram to leave his homeland, to wander the earth—to a place God would show him. And God had lead him to this beautiful land. Isaac knew, without a doubt, that God spoke to his father. And, in recent times, he had decided to make his father’s God his own God. He loved the God who led his father. “Father,” Isaac wept. “Father, you have always obeyed God. He has been good to you—giving you your hearts desire, time and again. Today he asks for my life. I give it willingly, father. Follow the leading of your God—and my God—and all will be well.” ** Continued in Trusting Father tomorrow ** Reflection Question: What would it have been like to be Abraham? How would you feel about God during this time? Which would be more difficult for you, to be Abraham or Isaac? Why? Prayer time: Before you pray together, ask: What would you like to say to Jesus today? View the full article

Read More Daily Jesus Scripture: Hebrews 2:14-18 Starting Question: Have you had a tough time in your life when you had to trust and believe that God was with you and leading you even though it didn’t seem He was? Tell that story. How long ago was it? Does it make sense yet? How are you feeling about God now? Trusting Son As the two men prepared the altar, the younger asked a question. “Father, we have the stones, we have the sticks and we even have the fire,” He pointed to a ram’s horn propped up against a rock. “But, we have no sacrifice!” Abraham paused, facing the altar. Isaac was gathering sticks behind him. A painful expression spread across the old man’s face. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. Isaac walked past Abraham and placed the sticks on the altar. Then he turned to face his father, resting his hands on his hips, taking large breaths from the hard work. “Don’t we need a lamb or a goat? Or something, at least?” Abraham reached out and placed a hand on his son’s cheek. He struggled to smile. “God will provide a lamb,” he said, in little more than a whisper. Then raising his other hand, Abraham cradled his son’s face. Looking deeply into Isaac’s eyes, he raised his voice and said with longing, “God will provide!” Isaac’s shoulders slumped. He understood. Isaac reached up, placing his hands over his fathers, and slowly pulled them off his face. He turned and looked at the large altar with dread. His gaze moved from the altar to his father and back again. Isaac climbed onto the altar, lay on his back and folded his arms across his chest. Abraham untied a rope from around his waist and carefully tied his son to the altar—crisscrossing across Isaac’s body, from head to foot. Isaac seemed to have accepted his role in this sacrifice. In a quiet voice, he said, “Tie me tightly, Father. I’m nervous and afraid. If I break away, the sacrifice will be improper. I must not move.” His father nodded without speaking, tears streamed down his dusty face. As he tightened the rope that crossed Isaac’s shoulder—leaning over his son to do so—a tear fell from his eye and landed on Isaac’s cheek. The two cried together as they continued preparing the sacrifice God required. ** Continued in Trusting God tomorrow ** Reflection Question: Put yourself in Isaac’s place. What would it have been like to be Isaac? What would have been going through your mind? Prayer time: Before you pray together, ask: What would you like to say to Jesus today?View the full article