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From a blog I like to read... The author is Thom S. Rainer, president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources. He is Southern Baptist. MARCH 27, 2017 URGENT CHURCH: NINE CHANGES WE MUST MAKE OR DIE It broke my heart. Another church closed. This church had unbelievable potential. Indeed, it had its own “glory days,” but only for a season. But, 10 years ago, few would have predicted this church’s closure. Today, it is but another statistic in the ecclesiastical graveyard. I know. We don’t compromise doctrine. I know. We must never say we will change God’s Word. But many of our congregations must change. They must change or they will die. I call these churches “the urgent church.” Time is of the essence. If changes do not happen soon, very soon, these churches will die. The pace of congregational death is accelerating. What, then, are some of the key changes churches must make? Allow me to give you a fair warning. None of them are easy. Indeed, they are only possible in God’s power. Here are nine of them: We must stop bemoaning the death of cultural Christianity. Such whining does us no good. Easy growth is simply not a reality for many churches. People no longer come to a church because they believe they must do so to be culturally accepted. The next time a church member says, “They know where we are; they can come here if they want to,” rebuke him. Great Commission Christianity is about going; it’s not “y’all come.” We must cease seeing the church as a place of comfort and stability in the midst of rapid change. Certainly, God’s truth is unchanging. So we do find comfort and stability in that reality. But don’t look to your church not to change methods, approaches, and human-made traditions. Indeed, we must learn to be uncomfortable in the world if we are to make a difference. “We’ve never done it that way before,” is a death declaration. We must abandon the entitlement mentality. Your church is not a country club where you pay dues to get your perks and privileges. It is a gospel outpost where you are to put yourself last. Don’t seek to get your way with the music, temperature, and length of sermons. Here is a simple guideline: Be willing to die for the sake of the gospel. That’s the opposite of the entitlement mentality. We must start doing. Most of us like the idea of evangelism more than we like doing evangelism. Try a simple prayer and ask God to give you gospel opportunities. You may be surprised how He will use you. We must stop using biblical words in unbiblical ways. “Discipleship” does not mean caretaking. “Fellowship” does not mean entertainment. We must stop focusing on minors. Satan must delight when a church spends six months wrangling over a bylaw change. That’s six months of gospel negligence. We must stop shooting our own. This tragedy is related to the entitlement mentality. If we don’t get our way, we will go after the pastor, the staff member, or the church member who has a different perspective than our own. We will even go after their families. Don’t let bullies and perpetual critics control the church. Don’t shoot our own. It’s not friendly fire. We must stop wasting time in unproductive meetings, committees, and business sessions. Wouldn’t it be nice if every church member could only ask one question or make one comment in a meeting for every time he or she has shared his or her faith the past week? We must become houses of prayer. Stated simply, we are doing too much in our own power. We are really busy, but we are not doing the business of God. Around 200 churches will close this week, maybe more. The pace will accelerate unless our congregations make some dramatic changes. The need is urgent. Hear me well, church leaders and church members. For many of your churches the choice is simple: change or die. Time is running out. Please, for the sake of the gospel, forsake yourself and make the changes in God’s power. http://thomrainer.com/2017/03/urgent-church-nine-changes-must-make-die/?utm_source=ThomRainer.com&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=762d55b7e6-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_TEDS&utm_term=0_10c78481d1-762d55b7e6-81391833

B/W: I am secure in my relationship with my wife. I can assure you that I am not threatened by any relationship that my wife might have with any male or female. The bottom line is: I treat her in the same manner that I expect her to relate to me.

I believe women can have platonic friendships with men, and men can have platonic friendships with women. I generally get along better with men than women. However, I would have reservations about a married man or woman going out on the town alone with someone of the opposite sex. I think that's inviting trouble.

See: http://atoday.org/coming-out-as-an-lgbt-adventist-causes-and-consequences-of-family-rejection/ NOTE: There is more than one place where I could have posted this. As a matter of fact, this is not the first place where I posted it. The intent of this post is NOT to discuss either the place that LGBT people should have in SDA membership, or is it intended to discuss issues of sexuality and how one lives their lives. Rather, this is intended to be a report on research as to the consequence that may come to people who are within the SDA Community and "come out of the closet," so to speak. I believe that this subject has value and is worthy of consideration.

Your "synonym" for "mistake" clears things up. I am of the opinion that an "affair" doesn't necessarily involve physical intimacy. Men and women can get into an "emotional affair" when they share sufficiently intimate information or opinions that tend to draw on the emotions. If I were to tell one of my "girlfriends" that my wife doesn't understand me, or refuses to be intimate with me, or is a "b" (rhymes with itch), I would be crossing a bright line. If she were to say "oh you poor baby; how can you deal with that" and gives me a hug instead of saying "I'm not interested in your marital problems" and changes the subject, she would be crossing a bright line as well. Sometimes emotional intimacy (or fantasies) can become a different kind of affair; but an affair nonetheless. Just my opinion...

"Mistake" was meant to mean "an affair." While some may not think of an affair as a mistake, for some it is. mistake -> noun ->1. an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. Without going to exhaustive detail regarding affairs, many can slip into them without seeing where they are going until too late. Don't think the question could really be balanced. Just trying to show that some things are not as bad as they seem or the end of the world. So, for anyone contemplating the question, which would be the worst situation? OK, think of this, Solomon had 700 wives, so, every time he was with one of them, did he have 699 of them thinking in their hearts that he was having an affair with someone else. Obviously, the culture didn't allow them to do much about it, but that doesn't necessarily mean they liked it.

I would have to bleach my eyes. Gandma!!!!!

People are different individually. What may be good for one person may not be good for the other person. I am a very strong introvert. My wife has had to realize that such is just me. It is my personality and the way that I am. At the same time, my wife is more extroverted than am I. So, that has required some adjustment on my part. I a personal basis, I am more likely to feel friendship with a female than with a male. It does not mean that I do not see males as friends. it simply means that I am more likely to see a female as a friend. I will suggest that it is very important for individuals to be honest with themselves as to what their preference is. That is the first step in taking control of one's life. A second step is in making a conscious decision as to boundaries. One of the boundaries that I have established is that my wife will be informed as to how I am relating to any female with whom I have any kind of regular contact. So, if I get an e-mail, or I have a telephone conversation, that is shared with my wife. E.G. Some 45+ years ago, my then wife and I were close to two young girls. Within the past couple of weeks, they have been in contact with my ex-wife and I. My present wife has been a part of all of this. This brings about a second boundary that I have established: Any woman whom I look upon as a friend will be expected to relate in a positive manner to my wife. There are other boundaries that I have established as to relationships that I might have with females. But, the points that I want to make include: * People are different. We are not all alike. What is good for one may not be good for another. * Boundaries must be established. * Those boundaries include fitting the spouse into the relationship. * Individuals must be honest as to what is going on with them in any relationship.

On the other hand Pam, having discussions like this is how God has worked with growing the church over the years.

Deb Perhaps the man in the Oval Office is "acting" like he's President. True life sure beats watching the SOAPS lol