Thank You For The Gift of Someone To Love
Certain spiritual principles are the only way I know of to deal with some of the bigger ideas in my life.
Grief, as it seems to me, appears to be one of those bigger ideas. Bigger than me that is. A dark cloud on my horizon. No sun in my sky. No moon in the night. I guess I am a little late in posting this. But the one year anniversary of my late wife's death has come and gone 2 days ago. It was on April 6th.
I knew what I wanted to say. I must have been in "protection" mode. Emotions were frozen. Responses had been arrested. Feelings were locked up tight. I had to let this out when I was ready.
Donna loved the full moon. And the night she died, it was a full moon. I remember pointing up in the sky as we were taking her out to the hearse, and yelling and crying to Ed, the funeral home guy: "Look!" I guess in my grief, I thought that everyone "should" know about the moon thing.
But now a whole year has passed since that night. Today my mind has been flooded with the many ways that she blessed me. And how those blessings were preparing me for even more blessings today. In some ways, over this past year, my grief has fragmented those blessings to every corner of my mind; to the farthest reaches of my heart. Sort of all over the place too, I guess.
Today. Well, today, I offer my tribute of praise, hope, and new love. It has all been made possible for me by looking at all the blessings we had, as being something like all those "little flowers in the rain" that I have talked about recently. As each flower sprouts to life with the grand promise of new life, new colours, new beauty to collectively say to me today:
"Begin Again."
"Each day Ill do one golden deed
helping those who grieve and need
Begin again o'er the grieving span
Begin again; Oh YES we can!"
(by David T Battler, all rights reserved, worldwide)
Now, its been ten months since I moved to my new apartment. It was just today that I finally started to hang up some pictures on the walls! Each time I put another picture up, a new tear drop would fall. Some of the pictures I was hanging represented many of the little "fragments" from our past. We had a wonderful, loving relationship. Some of the pictures recalled me to the many blessings and people I have now in my life and my heart.
In my experience; I have been gathering up each fragment of love past, and folding it into the mix of love right now.
The greatest gift of my life; is having someone to love.