sex before marriage?

[Guest truthseeker007]

What does the bible say about it?

[Dr. Shane]

Acts 15

1. And certain men which came down from Judaea taught the brethren, and said, Except ye be circumcised after the manner of Moses, ye cannot be saved.

2. When therefore Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and disputation with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas, and certain other of them, should go up to Jerusalem unto the apostles and elders about this question...

25. It seemed good unto us, being assembled with one accord, to send chosen men unto you with our beloved Barnabas and Paul...

28. For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things;

29. That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.

[Guest truthseeker007]

okay, but where in the bible it says that sex before marriage is fornication? I mean if you have a relationship with someone, you love her, then why aren t we allowed to have sex? Why do i have all those hormones running inside my body telling me to do something my creator doesn t want me to do? i agree with you it is not good to have sex with everybody etc, but in a relationship, i can t see where i am missing the point. Please help me out

[John317]

Would you be willing to carry the same logic through in behalf of gay people? Does God want them to give way to their desires or does He expect them to resist their desires through His Spirit and obey His will? In fact, doesn't the Bible contain promises that He will help people with sinful desires change so that they have new desires? Why wouldn't this be true of everyone who asks for God's help in resisting and overcoming something God's word condemns?

I've heard the argument that since God gave us certain needs or desires, God means for us to fulfill them outside of commitment and marriage. But the Bible is clear this isn't true. Jesus plainly taught that it is sinful to desire sexual relations apart from marriage.

The prohibition of the seventh commandment against adultery is actually a prohibition against all forms of sexual immorality. It does not mean that only after marriage does one need to refrain from illicit sex but that before marriage, it is OK. Take a look at the instance of Joseph, who knew long before the giving of the law that fornication was a sin.

[Guest truthseeker007]

Thank you very much for clearing this up for me. I am convinced you are right, but i think it is too bad the bible is not very explicit about this.

[Dr. Shane]

Paul clearly indicates that sex outside of marriage is sin.

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion [literally, "be inflamed (with anger, grief, lust)" - see Strong's Greek Dictionary]." (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)

Notice how marriage is clearly made to be the only acceptable means of sexual expression.

We can also take note of the mosaic law dealt with premarital sex.

And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. (Exodus 22:16-17)

Sex = Commitment

There is no getting away from that. Commitment means marriage. It means committing to grow old together and take care of each other. Many people don't even understand the word love. Becoming sexually aroused is not love. Emotional fondness is not love. Love is commitment.

Paul also defines love in 1 Corinthians 13:

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end. (The Message)

Premarital sex is itself evidence against love. Premarital sex risks pregnancy outside of marriage. It is self-focused or "me first". It rejects the truth of God's Word and expresses distrust for God. It has become so common today that many do not see how offensive it is. It reduces those doing it to sexual objects. Both the man* (who is to be honorable, trustworthy, dependable, hardworking and a backbone of the community) and the woman* (who is to care for ill, teach the children, feed the family and contribute to a warm, neighboring community) become debased to animal lust placing them on no greater plane than dogs or cattle procreating.

God elevated human sexuality above that of animals. Sexuality is like a seal. When a king seals legislation he is committing himself to it by putting his name on it. It is the same with architects and engineers that seal their drawings. When two humans have sex with each other it is the act that seals the deal. What deal? Lifelong commitment of course. If there is no lifelong commitment to seal, the act is one of perversion and is repulsive. It is like an architect stamping his seal on the drawings of another. That is not love, it is perversion.

* I recognize these traditional stereotypes do not always hold true.

[John317]

Thank you very much for clearing this up for me. I am convinced you are right, but i think it is too bad the bible is not very explicit about this.

One question I plan to ask Jesus is why He didn't make everything easy to understand, so that no one could misinterpret anything.

I think I know the answer but I would love to hear Him explain it.

[John317]

Outstanding post, Shane.

[nishaun]

Not that I believe what they say matters much but anyways...

I always wonder why the psychologists do everything to tell people that you should wait till you are like 24 to get married but they don't have a problem with sex. Sex is also a strong commitment that would require an adult brain. It is ten times easier to get out of a bad relationship with someone whom you haven't started a sexual commitment with. That is to say men would think they own their girlfriends less if there was no sex. So then if a woman wanted to leave a man that she didn't like or trust it would be easier, or vica versa.

[robert hickman]

okay, but where in the bible it says that sex before marriage is fornication? I mean if you have a relationship with someone, you love her, then why aren t we allowed to have sex? Why do i have all those hormones running inside my body telling me to do something my creator doesn t want me to do? i agree with you it is not good to have sex with everybody etc, but in a relationship, i can t see where i am missing the point. Please he lp me out

THEN JUST GET MARRIED AND SOLVE THE PROBLEM

[jasd]

QR frame:

Onan? Judah? Tamar? Etc? ...not attempting to stand Writ on its ear: just suggesting that those who forever subscribe to ‘context’ note – that sometimes, ‘context’ does not always, relatively, obtain. That said,

I agree with current exposition that – sex before marriage is inadvisable – for any number of reasons, one being, the many and horrible STDs (Aids included). Experience compels me to add that one ought to marry early and stay the course.

Per the pithy: there are those many in no position (for reasons of economy, social stigma, and other) to marry.

[nishaun]

Quote:

Why do i have all those hormones running inside my body telling me to do

Ah, are you sure that is what they are saying? It is very easy to misinterpret the human body, even your own.

Have you ever been thirsty for soda?

Did you know soda doesn't quench your thirst?

Have you ever been hungry for junk food?

Does junk food fill your bodies needs?

[Robert]

That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.

"Fornication" means loose living - sleeping around.

[Robert]

if you have a relationship with someone, you love her, then why aren t we allowed to have sex?

[Neil D]

Devil's advocate mode on

Originally Posted By: truthseeker007

if you have a relationship with someone, you love her, then why aren t we allowed to have sex?

"Allowed"? Believe me, God won't force you not to....However, He knows best. He knows if you start off a sexual relationship before you have time to get to know each other that it will cloud your thinking. A relationship based on sex will fail, but a relationship based on love first is best. Commitment first (i.e., marriage) then sex inside a good, solid relationship.

[Guest truthseeker007]

"THEN JUST GET MARRIED AND SOLVE THE PROBLEM"

Lol, i am twenty three yo. I still live in my parents house:D. I think they would be quite surprised if i suddenly decided to marry. However there is chocolate skin lady from church i like, and she likes me also, but the basis of a relationship is love, so i won t hurry love anyway.

About the fall of mankind and hormones. I think this is very interesting. Some say that because Ellen was a victorian lady she was biased against sex. However something inside me tells me that we should distinguish ourselves from animals and behave like angelic beings. I am working out a lot lately. This helps me transform myself into a better person.

I have some questions, nothing to do with this subject:

1. Is sabbath or the holy spirit the seal of God?

2. Were all the deadly snakes etc, the result of the fall of mankind?

[nishaun]

seal=mark, security, conceal

We are marked with the Holy Spirit.

The Sabbath a mark unto his people.

We are secured with the Holy Spirit.

The Sabbath a security unto his people.

We are concealed with the Holy Spirit.

The Sabbath covers and encloses his people.

[olger]

Pre-marital sex always brings consequences into a person's life. It becomes the area of deepest regret from teenagers to grandparents. There is a better way, there is hope.

"Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee" (Psalm 119).

[Robert]

Quote:

He knows if you start off a sexual relationship before you have time to get to know each other that it will cloud your thinking. A relationship based on sex will fail, but a relationship based on love first is best. Commitment first (i.e., marriage) then sex inside a good, solid relationship.

Hmmmmmm....Then one who is married must be the most clouded in thier thinking

[Robert]

Were all the deadly snakes etc, the result of the fall of mankind?

Yes....Even the animal kingdom is corrupt. We live in a world dominated by it's god, Satan. He is the lord of this world and his principle of self is everywhere.

[Robert]

Pre-marital sex always brings consequences into a person's life.

Absolutely. Been there, done that. And did any trouble come my way? Yes...lot's of it (even to this day). A relationship based in lust goes no where but to the gutter.

[Robert]

A relationship based in lust goes no where but to the gutter.

All other sins come from the lust of the flesh.

Gal 5:19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; [if you'll notice, Paul most always list sexual sins first]

20 idolatry [the worship of self] and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.

[Neil D]

[Devil's advocate mode-on, still]

Originally Posted By: Neil

Quote:

He knows if you start off a sexual relationship before you have time to get to know each other that it will cloud your thinking. A relationship based on sex will fail, but a relationship based on love first is best. Commitment first (i.e., marriage) then sex inside a good, solid relationship.

Hmmmmmm....Then one who is married must be the most clouded in thier thinking

No, not if you really get know the other person first. But instead folks get hooked on sexuality...emotions, etc. This leads to a host of other problems. Just look at soceity.

[nishaun]

Quote:

they do show their love

Are you sure it is their love that they are showing, look at human history it hasn't always been like this.

3000 people die everyday not only on sept 11, no offense but where is the love EVERYDAY?

There are so many diseases in this world that are already cured, there is so much extra food that goes wasted. There are so many crimes that humans could prevent if they would just open their eyes.

I personally stick with the Bible's claim that human society is incapable of love without God. Look at human history people haven't always been nice, and when you really think about it they still aren't.

[nishaun]

Back to sex though...

My personal opinion is that the devil inslaves us humans, and he uses sex as a false freedom. Maybe our hormones are asking for actual freedom and love and beauty, not chemical freedom or love.