Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#1044 Be a Solution-SeekerPrint Version »

Become a solution-seeker. When a problem arises, ask yourself, "What solution can I think of?" When a situation isn't to your liking, ask yourself, "What solution can I think of?" Whenever something is bothering you, ask yourself, "What solution can I think of?" Unhappy people become distraught, upset, frustrated, or angry when unpleasant things happen. They speak to themselves and to others in ways that increase the amount of time they will feel emotional distress. Happy people use their intelligence and memory to think of potential solutions. At times solutions might be easy to find if you just ask yourself, "What solution can I think of?" If a solution isn't easy to find, brainstorm in your own mind or with others.

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#1045 Accept Difficulties With Joy

Since it is impossible for a person to completely be spared the difficulties and misfortunes of life, it makes sense to accept them with patience, tolerance - and a positive attitude. This ensures living a good life, both for practical reasons and because it is the Torah's attitude.

Today, when something - even small - goes wrong, take a deep breath and accept the reality with joy.

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#1046 Let Go of Your Anger

Make it a regular practice to imagine being calm and relaxed in situations that are likely to arouse your anger. As you increase your levels of patience and humility, you will increase your freedom from anger.

Today, be totally committed to let go of any anger that you begin to experience.

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#1047 Assume Others Will Like You

I have met people who are totally free from self-consciousness. They tell me that they always assume that others will like them and think positively of them. As one person told me, "I decided to be the opposite of someone who is paranoid. A person who is paranoid always thinks that others are against him. Unless I have reason to believe otherwise, I always think that others will like me. Of course, I am careful to protect myself and don't do anything stupid. But assuming that others will like me has worked wonders for me throughout my life."

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#1048 Desire Higher Pleasures

Focus more on obtaining long-lasting meaningful goals, rather than short-term pleasures.

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#1049 Long Term View

Having a more comprehensive look at life and its true meaning will eliminate many needless fears and worries. This automatically gives us more courage.

One helpful tool is to keep asking yourself: "How will this be viewed 100 years from now?"

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#1050 Be Bold For Good

Never let fear of embarrassment prevent you from doing good deeds. Think of a good deed you did even though it was difficult due to possible embarrassment.

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#1051 A Cheer For Your Efforts

When you try to help others overcome their sadness, don't demand perfection. Don't expect to always be successful in cheering up every person every time you try. Demanding such perfection will lead to discouragement when you are not successful.

It is not realistic to expect perfection, but if you personally master an optimistic outlook on life and try to cheer up others, you have a chance of succeeding frequently. Be grateful for your successes, even partial ones, and learn from instances when you were unsuccessful.

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#1052 Respond With Fascination

Feel fascination instead of frustration. Today, make a commitment to be fascinated with what other people say and do. Particularly, focus on their reactions - and use this to trigger your own sense of fascination.

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#1053 Experience Is An Antidote For Worry

When you worry that something unpleasant might happen, keep in mind that we quickly get used to new situations, even those that are extremely negative.

Experience is an antidote for worry. Make a list of things you worried about in the past. See how many of those negative things turned out better than you thought they would. Also note how many situations turned out as you feared, but you were able to cope anyway.

By being aware of how frequently your worries are for nothing, you will eliminate a large amount of needless worry.

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#1054 Difficulties Increase Your Merit Print Version »

When you are trying to do good deeds and difficulties arise, realize that the difficulties actually serve to increase the merit of your good deeds.

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#1055 Don't Belittle His Pain

When someone tells you about his suffering, never say things like, "Cheer up." "It's not so bad." Or, "That wouldn't bother me." Saying these will only cause him extra pain.

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#1056 Inner Courage

Ultimately any courage you have is within you. You can choose to access your own courage this very moment.

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#1057 The Most Enjoyable Change

Your view of "change" will either motivate you to keep making positive changes, or will make you fearful and avoiding of change.

One of the biggest changes a person can make is to stop viewing change as painful, hard work -- and instead to enjoy the entire process of self-development.

Of course, true change is difficult. But enjoying the process keeps you motivated.

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#1058 Find a Way to Encourage Others

Don't become discouraged when you try to encourage others. Your persistence can accomplish a lot. If one approach doesn't work, try another.

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#1059 Serve the Almighty With Joy

"Serve the Almighty with joy." (Psalms 100:2)

Joy adds to our enthusiasm and love for the Almighty and will motivate us to cleave to Him. If a person is sad when he fulfills the commandments, it is analogous to a servant who serves his master with a sad facial expression. Try to feel joy whenever you fulfill a mitzvah.

The Talmud relates that some people saw that the Sage Abaye was very happy. They asked him why. "I have just performed a mitzvah, so I feel great joy," he replied.

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#1060 Try This for a Change

Think of a positive trait you would like to master.

In order to integrate this trait, role play. Imagine that you have already changed that trait and see how this new pattern becomes a part of your everyday reality.

Be patient and practice regularly.

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1061 Share Your Knowledge

When you meet someone you know, ask yourself, "What knowledge or ideas can I share with this person that he would appreciate?" Similarly, when reading articles or books, try to think of people who would want to read them.

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#1062 True Courage

There are many forms of courage:

Have the courage to ask people for help when you need it.

Have the courage to say, "I don't know."

Have the courage to ask questions when you don't understand something.

Have the courage to push forward even if you might make mistakes.

Have the courage to do the will of our Creator.

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#1063 If I Were To Ask...

When you have an important question, but no one available to ask it to, ask yourself: "If I were to ask an expert for advice, what would he tell me?"

Imagining what someone without bias would say, helps you make wiser decisions. This technique will help you access your latent critical thinking ability. In this way, you can have a personal advisor with you at all times!

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#1064 Awareness of the Almighty

Awareness that the Almighty loves you, cares about your welfare, and orchestrates events in your life for your ultimate benefit is a powerful foundation upon which to build your life. Integrating emunah (awareness of the Almighty) and bitochon (Trust in Him) gives you a life of joy and serenity.

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#1065 Trust in the Almighty

Trust in the Almighty calms a person from fears and worries. A person who lives with trust in God is aware there are no accidents. He knows whatever happens to him is purposeful.

Trust in God does not mean we must assume that "everything will be all right." We have no way of knowing in advance exactly how events will turn out. Rather, trust in God means that whatever occurs is for our ultimate good, and we have the ability to withstand any tests.

Speaking pious sentiments of trust in God is not sufficient. A person has to actually feel this trust for it to actually effect on his emotions.

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#1066 Coping With Adversity

While you should try ot protect yourself from harm, if you do suffer, the best tool is acceptance. Accepting your situation greatly minimizes the amount you actually suffer. The most unfortunate person in the world is one who has not learned how to accept setbacks and misfortunes. Either this day or the next he, like everyone else in the world, will inevitably drink from the cup of suffering, which is either a test or an atonement. By failing to accept suffering, the pain you feel will be much more acute and harsh than necessary.

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1067 Courage and Humility

Humility makes it easier to have courage. Humility frees you from worrying about how others perceive you. You have less of a need to make a good impression on people, so you are more open to learn new things. You don't mind if people see you as imperfect, or that you are not as skilled or talented as you would like to be.

An arrogant or conceited person always needs to appear to be perfect, to be highly skilled and talented. This creates tension and anxiety. The truly humble person is calmer and more relaxed.

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1068

Be Awed Into Humility

Attaining humility is a byproduct of our awareness of the awesome power of our immortal Creator. We are finite in the presence of the Infinite. We are extremely limited when compared to the One who is unlimited. We are miniscule when compared to the immense size of His total creation of which we are aware of only a tiny fraction. And what we are aware of is mind-boggling in its complexity, grandeur, and size.

Humility is what any intelligent, thinking human will have to experience with even a partial awareness of what has already been revealed to us.