Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#1019 Life Isn't a Competitive Game

Each human being is unique and one of a kind. We each have a unique purpose in life. We each have our own unique ability to connect with our Creator. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses, virtues and faults. We are not meant to be an exact clone of anyone else. Therefore, life isn't a competitive game. We each are meant to serve the Almighty with our unique character, temperament, and personality based on our unique life situations and circumstances in the past and present.

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#1020 Staying Calm Under Pressure

I asked a person I once met how he became so skilled at staying calm under pressure. He said, "I pretend that everything that happens is on a large video screen. Every person I interact with is part of the scenery. I'm the only person that is alive and real; everyone and everything else is just what I see on the screen of my mind.

"My choices of thoughts, words, and actions are like a game I am playing on the screen. I always maintain self-respect and respect for others, but nothing anyone says or does will intimidate me.

"If someone raises his voice and yells at me, I imagine the clown on the screen acting like he has lost his temper. I don't have to worry as long as I'm not in physical danger.

"I keep asking myself, ‘What would be the wisest thing for me to think, say, and do now?' Because I keep calm, I am able to think more objectively."

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#1021 Get High on Appreciating Life

A person who has mastered the attribute of appreciating what he has, is constantly in a state of emotional high - just as someone who is inebriated during the height of a party!

Today is a wonderful day to increase appreciating all that you have. If you can do this naturally and spontaneously, great. If you find that you need to make an effort to do this, that's good, too. The important thing is to practice mastering this quality.

For 15 minutes, act as if you were extremely excited about all that you have. See how this effects you. You might like it so much that you will make this a daily practice!

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#1022 Ask Advice Before Giving Up

If you are in a situation in which negative consequences appear to be inevitable, don't give up. Rather, consult others for advice. Even though it might seem there is no escape, someone else might think of an idea that will save you.

Today, think about situations when you were under the impression that negative consequences were inevitable, but the reality turned out better than you had imagined. Let this serve as a resource not to giveup prematurely in the future.

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#1023 It's Not Over Until It's Over

There is a rule in competitive games: It's not over until it's over. As long as the game is still going, there is a chance that someone who started out not doing so well can "make a comeback" and do much better.

The same applies to living life: It's not over until it's over. As long as you are alive, you have the opportunity to do more and be more.

As you know, your own self-image is based on what has already happened in your life, what you have already done, and how you have already acted. As long as you are alive, you can choose thoughts, words, and actions that will greatly elevate your self- image.

You might complain about your self-image because you view your current self-image as a final reality. It isn't. We human beings are works in progress as long as we are alive. If you aren't satisfied with your self-image right now, say and do things that will raise your self-image.

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#1024 Discouragement

Discouragement comes from one thing, and one thing only: thinking discouraging thoughts. Changing the content of one's thoughts changes the entire picture!

Discouragement often comes from one's limited self-image.

When you view yourself in a positive light and see what you've done as valuable and important, even though things didn't work out the way you were hoping, you still feel positive about the effort you put into doing something worthwhile. You know that effort is up to you; results are up to the Almighty. You realize that your own value and worth are constant, and then think about your new wisest course of action for now.

If you ever feel discouraged, you can say to yourself, "Right now I am feeling discouraged because of the thoughts that I am thinking. What are some wiser thoughts that I can think right now?"

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#1025 Greet Everyone with a Smile

"The Torah ideal is to greet each and every person with a pleasant facial expression." (Tomar Devorah, ch.2) When you greet someone in a friendly way, you never know what a positive effect you will have. A certain individual who greeted everyone with a smile and kind words was approached by someone and told, "You saved my life." The person went on to tell how he'd suffered a number of serious setbacks and was contemplating suicide. He felt totally alone and depressed and felt that no one cared about him. Then this fellow greeted him with a sincere smile and a cheerful voice. This immediately lifted up his spirits and he was resolved to continue living.

Experiment just for today. Greet everyone you encounter with a smile. If you need to, visualize yourself greeting others in a cheerful and friendly way. Note how they react. A smile is contagious and can potentially transform the mood of thousands!

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#1026 Hold That Thought

Everyone has moments of greater clarity and inspiration. Your brain has probably experienced this a number of times. After each such moment your brain is upgraded. Even if a moment of clarity and inspiration doesn't last in its entirety, it serves as a beacon of light that shines on the road. This enables you to see further down the path and makes your journey a bit easier.

As your brain contemplates what it has gained from past moments of clarity and inspiration, you will be able to upgrade new moments with the same light.

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#1027 Practicing Foresight

Neglecting to look ahead is a prime cause of unhappiness. One who overeats disparages the value of food. A quarrelsome man complains against the blessings of marriage, relatives and neighbors. By practicing foresight, many evils can be avoided.

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#1028 Calm Your Mind

"Calm your mind." Practicing this skill is a major stepping stone to mastery of serenity. We have a constant stream of thoughts that surface automatically. Some of these may be beneficial. For many, however, their stream of consciousness is the source of distress and unresourceful emotional states. Calming your mind enables you to experience serenity.

An easy to apply tool to help you calm your mind is to soothingly repeat the word, "Serenity" over and over again. By focusing your attention on this calming word, your mind is free from thoughts that are not conducive to serenity.

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#1029 Learn from King David

Rabbi Meir Shalom of Porisov used to say that suffering need not deter us from serving the Almighty. King David wrote beautiful and uplifting Psalms while he was in the most difficult situations.

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#1030 As a Child to his Father

The Chafetz Chaim used to say that when you feel heavy-hearted, speak to the Almighty just as a child speak to his father.

One does not need formal prayer for this. Rather speak to your Heavenly Father in any language you wish.

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#1031 Daily Prayer

Daily prayer is an ongoing exercise in serenity. When we pray, we have a greater awareness that we are addressing our Father, our King, Creator and Sustainer of the universe. We connect with the consciousness that 'ain ode milvado', that is, nothing else exists besides Him. Our very lives and welfare are totally a gift from the Almighty.

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#1032 Insulting An Insulter

Trying to stop someone from insulting you, by insulting him back, is like trying to put out a fire by throwing oil on it.

If you insult someone who insults you, he will continue insulting you, even more vigilantly and viciously. If, however, you remain silent to an insult, the person will have said what he wanted and will stop.

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Be Resolved to Master Serenity

Be resolved with a strong sense of commitment to master serenity. The greater your realization of the magnitude of the benefits you will gain, the easier it will be to persevere even if the going gets rough.

Serenity promotes health and feelings of well-being. Your brain functions better when you are in a calm and relaxed state. Serenity increases your ability to think clearly, to concentrate for longer periods of time, to better understand what you read, to listen with greater focus, and to remember at optimal levels. You are more creative when you are in a serene state.

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#1034 Be A Good-Digger

When you come into contact with another person, make a special effort to see their virtues.

Not only look for good points, but try to genuinely feel pleasure in discovering a new virtue in someone. A person who masters this trait lives in an entirely different world than someone who lacks it. Everyone he meets has positive elements that he notices, and hence he will show honor and respect to everyone.

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#1035 Discuss Growth With Others

Our thinking is shaped and corrected only through the exchange of thoughts with others. To sharpen yourself, communicate with friends who are striving toward the same goals. An intellect which depends entirely upon itself is prone to stagnation, fantasies or erroneous ideas.

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#1036 Courage To Remember

Every person alive will have memories of saying or doing something that took courage. And every person alive will have memories when they lacked courage.

Remember your best moments and build on them.

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#1037 Use Sadness to Help Others

Sadness has a value in that when we are sad, we can learn to appreciate the suffering of others. This will motivate us to help them. Our own emotional experience will motivate us more than if we merely have an "intellectual knowledge" of the obligation to help.

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#1038 Better To Say Bitter

Rabbi Moshe of Kobrin used to say, "When a person suffers, he shouldn't say that things are bad. Rather, he should say that the situation is bitter. The Almighty does nothing bad. Just as medicine is beneficial, although it might be bitter, so too events are always beneficial even if they are bitter."

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#1039 Make the Highs Even Higher

Rabbi Meir Hagar of Viznitz related that one of the great chassidic rabbis was once praying with much enthusiasm. His evil inclination came to him at a moment he was praying with the height of fervor, and whispered in his ear, "How can you be so insolent as to pray in such a manner? Yesterday you did improper things. You are unworthy of such prayers."

The righteous man was not thrown by the evil inclination and mentally replied, "It might be true that yesterday I have erred. Moreover, it is possible that tomorrow once again I might err. But right now I am in the middle of praying, so get away from me!"

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#1040 Take Joy in Being Better

When a person regrets wrongdoings, this is not a contradiction to the pre-existing obligation to be happy. Why? Because he should feel joy that he has merited to recognize the truth and is now repenting!

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#1041 Grow Beyond AngerPrint Version »

King Solomon wrote in Proverbs (19:11): "It is a wise man's good sense to be slow to anger, and his glory to pass over a transgression."

It is common sense and self-interest to refrain from lashing out immediately to avenge an injury. A higher level of humanity is that of entirely overcoming feelings of vengeance in one's heart. This is the glory of the morally wise man.

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#1042 The Grass Is No GreenerPrint Version »

The Midrash (Kohelet 11:13) relates the metaphor of a free bird who envies the food of a caged bird. The caged bird replies, "You see my food, but you do not see my captivity."

In what ways might your envy of others be similar to this?

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#1043 Maintaining Joy In ImperfectionPrint Version »

Perfectionism and happiness don't go hand in hand. The human condition is imperfection. And that's why there is always more work to do in this world. And that is what will enable us to maintain humility even if we did accomplish a lot. But we need to maintain a sense of joy even though we aren't perfect. We were never meant to be perfect. But it is our mission to learn and to improve.

Perfectionism is the attitude, "It's either 100% or it's a total failure." In some areas this could be true. A serious operation that was almost successful failed if the patient died. If an airplane pilot almost made a safe landing but the plane crashed, it's a total failure for all those who were killed in the crash. But in the vast majority of the things we do, perfection might be nice, but it won't make too much of a difference.

A perfectionist is nervous the entire time. "What if it's not perfect?" they repeat to themselves. There are many ways that this won't be perfect and only one that would be considered perfect. Enjoy the positive activities that you are engaged in. Enjoy every bit of success. And enjoy the entire process of improving.