Ask the Rabbi

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Av 24

A Convert's Soul

I have read that someone who becomes a Jew through conversion has a Jewish soul already – and the conversion is just correcting a mistaken birth. Can you give me some insight on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Indeed, I have spoken to many converts who have described the feeling of having been Jewish their entire lives.

The idea that all converts already have a Jewish spark comes from a verse in the Torah. On the last day of Moses' life, all the Jewish people gathered together and God spoke to them, saying: "Not with you alone do I seal this covenant and oath. I am making it both with those here today before the Lord our God, and also with those not here today." (Deut. 29:13)

This verse is rather perplexing. Who is the group that God refers to as being “not here today"?

The Talmud (Shevuot 39a) explains that this refers to future converts, whose souls were also at Sinai. (By the way, this helps explain why one of the primary requirements for conversion to Judaism is the acceptance to keep all the 613 mitzvot – just as the Jews did at Mount Sinai.)

A close look at this verse in the original Hebrew reveals something startling. In the first part of the phrase, "but with those here," the last letters of those four Hebrew words actually spell out the name "Yitro." Yitro was the father-in-law of Moses, and the first convert to Judaism following the exodus from Egypt.

Another source for the phenomenon you describe is found in the Talmud. In discussing the laws of conversion. It says: "A convert who comes to convert..." This begs the question – why does it say "a CONVERT who comes to convert"? Rather, it should say, "a GENTILE who comes to convert"! The reason is because the future convert already has a Jewish spark inside of him.

One of the most well-known converts was the Polish nobleman, Abraham ben Abraham. He converted to Judaism in the 18th century, and was sentenced by the church to death. It is said that even before his conversion, unidentifiable feelings, which testified to the greatness of his spirit, would overwhelm him every Shabbat. Rabbi Yoel Schwartz in "Jewish Conversion" quotes him as saying: "Although the nations rejected the Torah, individual members of those nations sought to accept it. Only the refusals of their peers prevented them from realizing their aspirations. The souls of these individuals appear in every generation as converts."

We would be happy to hear from any converts who have experienced this phenomenon.

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Av 25

Immutability of Torah Law

I was born with a neuromuscular disease known as Spinal Muscular Atrophy and have been confined to a wheelchair my entire life. Unfortunately my sister and I were raised without any religious instruction or guidance. My father wasn't Jewish and although my mother is, she openly claims to be an atheist. The "good news" is that both my sister and myself - independent of each other and at different times in our lives - realized that we are Jewish and chose to live a Jewish life.

Because of my disability, I'm not always able to attend services on Shabbat, but I always light candles, pray from a Siddur and read the weekly Torah portion. I would like to know whether, considering my situation, if using a computer is allowed during the Sabbath? I found the complete Bible online and since my computer is voice-activated I don't have to struggle to turn pages or continuously ask for assistance.

Thank you to everyone at Aish.com for making it possible for myself and so many others to learn about being Jewish and grow in the most important part of our lives.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you so much for your encouraging words and for sharing your inspiring story.

God gives each of us a set of challenges. To those more capable of conquering difficulties, He gave bigger challenges. A challenge from God is a sign that He cares about us and has confidence in our ability to become great.

It sounds like you're doing great!

As for using the computer on Shabbat, that is prohibited. A foundation of Judaism is that we need to respect God's wishes, even if we think that doing otherwise is "for a good reason." Consider this story:

A king calls in his trusted minister and says: "I have an important mission for you to perform. Go to the neighboring kingdom and meet in the palace with their leaders. But remember one thing - under no circumstances must you remove your shirt during this meeting. Now go and do as I say."

The minister sets off on his merry way and soon arrives at the neighboring kingdom. There he heads straight for the palace where he meets with the King. In the midst of their discussion, he sees some of the king's officers pointing and laughing at him.

"Why are you laughing?" asks the visiting minister.

"Because we've never seen someone with such a pronounced hunchback as yourself," they say.

"What are you talking about? I'm not a hunchback!"

"Of course you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"We'll bet you one million dollars that you are!"

"Fine - I'll gladly take your bet."

"Okay, so take off your shirt and prove it."

At which point the minister remembers the parting words of the king... "under no circumstances must you remove your shirt during the meeting." Yet, the minister reasons, a million dollars would certainly bring added wealth to the king's coffers. I know I'm not a hunchback, so I'll surely win the bet. Of course, under these circumstances the king would approve...

The minister removes his shirt and proudly displays his perfect posture. With pride in his achievement, he holds out his hand, into which is placed a check for one million dollars.

The minister can barely contain his excitement. He quickly ends the meeting and runs back to give the wonderful news to his king. "I earned you a million dollars!" exclaims the minister. "It was easy. I only had to remove my shirt to prove that I wasn't a hunchback."

"You did what?!" shouts the king. "But I told you specifically not to remove your shirt. I trusted that you'd follow instructions, and so I bet the other king $10 million dollars that he couldn't get you to remove your shirt!"

The Torah tells us "Do not add or subtract from the mitzvahs." (Deut. 4:2) Jewish law is a precise metaphysical science. Consider a great work of art. Would you consider adding a few notes to a Bach fugue, or some brushstrokes to a Rembrandt portrait?!

Perfection, by definition, cannot be improved upon. Altering Torah law is an unacceptable implication that God is lacking.

The verse in Psalms 19:8 declares: "Torat Hashem Temimah" - the Torah of God is complete. For just as adding one wire to a transistor radio means it no longer can pick up reception, so too we mustn't tinker with Jewish law. The mitzvahs of God are perfect.

May the Almighty give you strength to continue your growth in Judaism.

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Av 26

Honey

Since honey is produced by bees, and bees are not a kosher species, how can honey be kosher?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Talmud (Bechoros 7b) asks your very question! The Talmud bases this question on the principle that “whatever comes from a non-kosher species is non-kosher, and that which comes from something kosher is kosher.”

So why is bee-honey kosher? Because even though bees bring the nectar into their bodies, the resultant honey is not a 'product' of their bodies. It is stored and broken down in their bodies, but not produced there. (see Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 81:8)

By the way, the Torah (in several places such as Exodus 13:5) praises the Land of Israel as "flowing with milk and honey." But it may surprise you to know that the honey mentioned in the verse is actually referring to date and fig honey (see Rashi there)!

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Av 27

Who was Shlomtzion?

There is a street near the Jerusalem city hall named after Shlomtzion HaMalka. Do you know who she was? While the name suggests that she was a queen, I have not seen any references to her. I would appreciate any information that you could provide.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Shlomtzion was the queen of Israel circa 100 BCE. She was a righteous woman whose brother was the famous Sage known as Shimon ben Shetach. In truth, her name was actually Shulamit, but she was called Shlomtzion (literally: "the peace of Zion") because the Jewish people loved her so much. She became the sole ruler of Israel after her husband died. This was a time of great peace and prosperity for the Jewish people.

The sources about Shlomtzion HaMalka are scattered throughout the Talmud and in the writings of Josephus. For a thorough treatment, I highly recommend the book "Echoes of Glory" by Rabbi Berel Wein (Shaar/ArtScroll).

The following beautiful story is from a book called "A Mother's Favorite Stories" (ArtScroll).

After the war in 1948, the government gave my father assistance to renovate a storefront in the area which was close to what is now Jerusalem City Hall. He was informed by the authorities that when the sign was painted, the address for the store should read “Princess Mary 15.”

My father came home that night, sat down at the small dinner table and said, “It's a shame to have such a name on the front of the shop. A street in the holy city of Jerusalem to be called Princess Mary! I won't have it. We are changing the name. As of right now, the address is Shlomzion HaMalka 15.”

We were accustomed to my father’s fierce love for Jerusalem and all things Jewish. No one questioned how he intended, single-handedly, to implement his decision. But he did, with my mother's help.

First, he instructed the painter to paint his address – the way he wanted it – in bold black letters. Second, every single time a letter arrived addressed to proprietor Princess Mary 15, he crossed it out and wrote, “Return to sender. Please use correct address.”

My mother would faithfully bring each and every one of these letters back to the post office. And, as everyone can see, his sincere love brought about a triumphant success. Very few people walking today on Shlomzion HaMalka know that the name was born from a heart of a fiery lover of Zion.

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Av 28

Kosher Grains

I bought a box of kosher cereal and next to the kosher symbol it said “Yoshon.” Can you tell me what this means?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

In keeping kosher, there is a grain-related issue called Chadash and Yoshon – literally "new" and "old." The Torah (Leviticus 23:9-14) states that each year's grain crops (wheat, barley, oats, rye, and spelt) may not be consumed until the second day of Passover, when the Omer offering is brought.

The Sages understand more precisely that the Omer offering permits any grain which has taken root by the time of its offering. Any grains planted after that point in time may not be eaten until the next Passover.

Note that this has much bearing on many grain products today, since the growing season in most temperate climates begins in the springtime, just around Passover. Thus, such grains will not become permitted until the next Passover, several months after they are harvested. (By contrast, the primary growing season in Israel is in the wet winter months.) Note also that the issue only begins around the end of the summer, when products made from the new year's grains begin to reach the market.

Practically speaking, there is a dispute if Chadash applies to grain grown outside the Land of Israel or on land belonging to non-Jews (see Mishnah Berurah 489:45). Most people in the Diaspora are lenient regarding it, and almost all the kashrut organizations certify products which are not Yoshon. However, there are many meticulous individuals who are careful not to consume Chadash in any case, and as you noticed, the kashrut organizations are beginning to take note.

By the way, another grain-related issue is Challah. (This is not to be confused with the braided bread that we eat on Shabbat.) When one kneads a significant amount of dough (over 2.5 pounds) for baking purposes, a small portion of the dough is removed and burned. (In the times of the Holy Temple, this portion was given to a Kohen.) Once challah has been separated from the larger dough, the dough is "kosher" for baking into bread or other items.

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Av 29

Perfect World?

How do you answer the person who thinks that the reason nature is perfect is because it couldn't exist otherwise? The argument being that all the imperfect forms of nature were almost immediately wiped out and what was left is what we call "perfect." I would like to know your reaction to this premise.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

One possibility is to point out the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which states that all things are moving from a state of order to disorder. In other words, unless acted upon by an intelligent outside force, nature could never have achieved its state of perfection.

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Av 30

Organ Donation

What is the Jewish position on organ donation? I have been told, albeit by someone relatively uneducated, that a Jewish body must be "whole and intact" for Jewish burial. But what confuses me is that, since my father had renal failure and was on dialysis, he was on a waiting list for kidney transplant. Is it then alright for a Jew to accept organs but not to donate them? This question has been on my mind for almost 20 years!

Also, I would like to register as an organ donor so that if, God forbid, I am involved in a fatal accident, I could help someone in the same position as my father. Can something so selfless and caring cause me to lose the mitzvah associated with a Jewish burial? Please explain – because if I am ever called upon to save a life, I want to know that I am doing the right thing.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

This is a complex question, and you have articulated the issues well.

The Jewish position on organ donation is as complex as the issue of life and death, because it derives directly from the Jewish perspective on the sanctity of life and the role that our physical existence plays in the advancement of our spiritual selves.

On the one hand, we have a sacred obligation to preserve human life (pikuah nefesh). This is an overriding principle in Jewish law – so important that almost any other law can be broken for this reason. For example, we can break Shabbat to drive an injured person to the hospital.

On the other hand, Jewish law prohibits desecration of a dead body (nivul h’amate). A dead person's body, since it once housed the holy soul, is to be treated with the utmost respect. Every part of the body must be buried – which is why you see the heart-wrenching images of religious Jews dutifully going around after a terrorist bombing, scraping up pieces of flesh and blood for burial.

How do we resolve these two principles?

Organ donation is permitted in the case when an organ is needed for a specific, immediate transplant. In such a case, it is a great mitzvah for a Jew to donate organs to save another person's life.

Organ donation is not necessarily limited to dead people: Someone who can afford to spare a kidney, for example, may donate one to someone in need. (See an inspiring account here: http://www.aish.com/sp/so/48937647.html)

Yet in consideration of the prohibition against desecrating the body, it is forbidden to simply donate to an "organ bank," where there is no specific, immediate recipient.

Furthermore, it is also forbidden to donate for general medical research or for students to dismember in medical school.

Even when there is a specific, immediate transplant, there is need for caution, because oftentimes in order to obtain organs as fresh as possible, a doctor will remove the organ before the patient is actually "dead" according to Jewish law. The doctor is therefore effectively killing the patient, which is, of course, forbidden. (For more on this, see www.jlaw.com/Articles/brain.html)

The bottom line is that each case is different. A myriad of considerations must be reviewed. So before gong ahead with any procedure, consult with a rabbi well-versed in Talmud and Jewish law. It is clearly not as simple as blankly signing an organ donation card.

(Sources: Nodeh BiYehuda II Y.D. 210; Igrot Moshe Y.D. 2:174; Minchas Yitzhak 5:7; Tzitz Eliezer 10:25; "Judaism and Healing" by Rabbi J. David Bleich.

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Elul 1

Judaism: All Or Nothing?

I have been testing the waters, trying to get involved in Judaism. But I feel like I'm swimming in a vast ocean of unfamiliar concepts: Hebrew texts, legal nuances, culture, etc. I'm not sure any of this is for me!

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

There is a misconception that many people have about Judaism, what I call "the all or nothing" syndrome. With 613 mitzvot in the Torah, things can seem a bit overwhelming. People take a look at traditional Judaism with all these different commandments and say to themselves, there's no way that I can be successful at living that type of lifestyle, so what's the point of looking into it or getting involved? Where to start? What to focus on? How to make sense of it all?!

That's not the Jewish way!

Imagine you bump into an old friend and he tells you how miserable he is. You ask him, what's the matter? He says, I'm in the precious metals industry. My company just found a vein of gold in Brazil that's going to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

You say, that's fantastic. Your financial problems are solved. What's the problem?

He says, you just don't get it. Do you realize that this is just one vein of gold? It represents such a tiny fraction of all of the unmined gold in the world. What do I really have, compared with what's out there?

You say, are you nuts? Who the heck cares about what you haven't found yet? What you've got now is a gold mine!

That's the Jewish approach. Any aspect that you learn about, or can incorporate into your life, is a gold mine. What does it matter what aspect of Judaism you're not ready to take on? In Judaism, every mitzvah is of infinite value. Every mitzvah is more than any gold mine. Don't worry about what you can't do. Even if you never take on another mitzvah, you've still struck eternal gold.

The best advice: Relax.

Here's a true story that happened about 80 years ago in Jerusalem.

One Saturday afternoon, a young boy was walking in the Old City of Jerusalem. Suddenly he saw a gold coin on the ground. This was no mere candy money; this was a gold coin! Since it was ownerless he would be able to claim it as his. But there was one problem: The boy would not handle money on Shabbat. Suddenly he had the idea to guard it by putting his foot over the coin - and stand there until Shabbat ended... in four hours!

One hour passed and then another. Things were going well. But then some older boys came along, and said, "Hey, why are you just standing there like that?" He didn't answer them, so they pushed him down and took away the coin.

The boy returned home very very sad. He had tried to do the right thing by observing Shabbat, but wound up losing his gold coin. Later at the synagogue, the rabbi saw the boy and asked, "What's wrong?" When the boy explained the whole story, the rabbi said: "I have an idea how we can fix it. Come to my house when Shabbat is over."

After Shabbat ended, the boy went to the rabbi's house, and they sat down to talk. "I know how disappointed you are at having lost the gold coin," said the rabbi, "so here - I want to give something." And he pulled out of his desk a gold coin - just like the one the boy had found earlier that day!

"But," the rabbi continued, "I'll give you this gold coin on one condition. In exchange, you give me the merit of the mitzvah you did in observing Shabbat."

The boy thought for a moment and said: "Hmmm... If the mitzvah is worth that much, then no deal!"

The misconception that Judaism is all-or-nothing includes the false idea that a person is either "observant," or "non-observant." But that's not true. In fact, here's a secret:

Nobody is observing all the mitzvot.

That's because certain mitzvot only women usually do - like lighting Shabbat candles or going to the mikveh. Other mitzvot only men can fulfill - like Brit Milah. Others only apply to first-born children, such as the "fast of the first born" on the day before Passover. And only a Kohen can fulfill the mitzvah of reciting the Priestly Blessing.

Other mitzvot - like getting divorced with a proper Get - are procedural mitzvot that are only done under certain circumstances, and that one hopes never to fulfill. Finally, there are many mitzvot that apply only in the times of the Holy Temple, laws that in our day are temporarily suspended.

So when we talk about the totality of mitzvot, we'll never do them all anyway! So rather than get overwhelmed with the vastness of it all, better to be realistic about what we can do, and move forward in a positive way.

Let's say, for example, that a person wants to try the mitzvah of prayer. We may go to synagogue and see someone immersed in intensive prayer for one hour. We cannot conceive of how we could possibly get to that point ourselves. That's understandable, especially for one who is not fluent in Hebrew. So it's a matter of knowing which prayer gets top priority - for example, the Amidah prayer.

The Amidah has 19 blessings, and it's very difficult to concentrate for that entire time without being distracted, or one's mind wandering to other things like shopping and checking your email. So the key is to take on a small goal: "I am committing that for the first prayer of the 19, I will not rush nor allow anything to interfere between me and these few words." That goal is realistic and attainable, and one can begin to approach a high degree of intensity and concentration on that one prayer.

What this does is give a taste of the higher goal. All that's needed is to extrapolate to all 19. This is much more effective than starting off by saying, "Today I'm going to pray the entire 19 with great concentration!" - and then after three words, you're thinking about what's for breakfast.

If it's too lofty a goal, then at least taste it once. Break down a huge goal into bite-size steps that are realistic to achieve, and will give a taste of the full goal.

In Jacob's famous dream, God shows him a vision of a ladder reaching toward Heaven. Spiritual growth, like climbing a ladder, must be one step at a time. By setting small, incremental goals, we are encouraged by the periodic success. To make the plan foolproof, make your initial goal something you know you can reach. Tasting success will bolster your confidence and determination, and you can use this energy to strive for higher goals. Remember, the longest journey begins with just one step. And what goes in slow, will remain.

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Elul 2

Life in Perspective

I'm in high school and am starting to think about life. Everything seems so superficial - relationships, the media, fashions. I don't want my life built around that. What advice can you offer?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Every human being is comprised of two components -- the physical (body) and the spiritual (soul). Each wants to be nourished and sustained, yet each achieves this through very different means. The body seeks comfort and immediate gratification: food, sleep, power, wealth. The soul seeks longer-lasting, eternal pleasures: meaning, love, good deeds, connection to God.

The Talmud says: "Who is the wise person? He who sees the future." This ability to consider long-term, spiritual consequences is what distinguishes the mature from the immature. A child cannot predict that eating 20 pieces of candy will lead to a painful stomach ache. A college student may not see that promiscuity can lead to life-threatening disease. Or a father may not see that working overtime can lead to irreparable disconnection from his wife and children.

Today, each of us is fighting the battle between body and soul. The multi-billion-dollar media machine is constantly enticing us to buy into the lifestyle of "Instantaneous-ism." Between fast-food restaurants, disposable products and instant on-line everything, we have become accustomed to a world where immediacy is the norm. And the effect is that we've lost our sense of perspective.

To win the battle, we must be proactive in undertaking spiritual activities. Something as simple as saying a blessing over food turns a "physical" act into a spiritual experience. Otherwise, what really separates us from animals?

The story is told of Rabbi Alexander Ziskind (19th century Europe) who had a personal custom after Yom Kippur. Each year he would break the fast with boney fish. Why? Because in this way, he would be forced to eat slowly and not gorge the food. The rabbi was determined that his soul maintain control over his body.

It is one's ability to moderate (not squelch, but curb) the body's needs that gives us the freedom to pursue the needs of the soul. Because when all is said and done, our lives are only as good as the soul we've nurtured. Next time you're at a funeral, listen closely to the eulogy: They speak about how he was a good parent, how he donated money to help build a hospital, how he cared for others, and how he was loyal to his faith.

You will never hear about what kind of car he drove, or how many different restaurants he tried, or how much money he had. Because deep down, we all know what is truly important, what is ever-lasting.

So keep your eye on the ball. Acquire wisdom. Know exactly what you're living for. Our actions today, and the choices we make, affect not only our own lives, but influence generations to come.

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Elul 3

Getting Started

I am married to a non-Jew. I swing back and forth between "doing" the traditional things and then not doing anything at all. As a Jew, I have decided to focus on Judaism in my graduate program. However, this summer I would like to begin my studies on my own. I can read and write Hebrew pretty well. In your opinion, what is the best way to get started? Should I begin with the Talmud? I continue to come back to missing the traditions, and need to know how to begin and how to stay on course. Where do I start?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

In general, where should you start?

Believing in God is the primary commandment in Judaism.

Who is God?

God is the Creator of the world who gave the Torah and its commandments to the Jewish people at Mount Sinai. (see: http://www.aish.com/h/sh/se/48943936.html)

A good way to bring that concept into your life is through prayer. Open your heart to Him and He will surely help. As it says: "God is close to all who call sincerely" (Psalms 145:18).

The best way to learn about Judaism is to live near a Jewish community which has adult education programs, rabbis you can talk to one-on-one, Shabbat hospitality programs, etc.

If that is not an option, then try Torah education websites, such as Aish.com. You should get a basic Jewish library started in your home (http://www.aish.com/jl/sp/ns/48971206.html). While commuting or cooking, you can also listen to audio lectures from the thousands of titles available at www.aishaudio.com.

If you are interested in trying out one-on-one Jewish learning, I recommend signing up at http://www.partnersintorah.org/. Any subject can be learned, by phone or in person, at a time that's good for you. This service is absolutely free.

Also, it is very important to attend a Discovery seminar. That frequently can make a big jump-start, by providing a framework and overview of the entire gamut of Jewish history, philosophy, and answering the questions, "Why Be Jewish," "Does God Exist," and "Is Torah True?" The seminar is given in hundreds of cities throughout the world. For more info, go to http://www.aish.com/dis/

Best of luck and let me know how it goes!

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Elul 4

613 Mitzvot

What is the earliest reference to the Torah having 613 mitzvot? Where does this list come from? This is a matter of dispute here in South Africa, where a radio talk show host made some inaccurate statements about Judaism by saying that the 613 laws were only formulated thousands of years after the Torah was written. Can you please clear this up?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Answering your question requires a little understanding of Jewish history.

At Mount Sinai God gave the Jewish people the Torah. The word "Torah" literally means "teaching." Included in this Torah were many laws that the Jewish people became obligated in performing from that point on. Over the 40 years in the desert, the Torah was written down onto a scroll by Moses. This became known as the Written Torah, because it was written down and sealed before their entry into the Land of Israel. (It is also commonly called the Five Books of Moses.)

Although the Written Torah contains the 613 mitzvot, it does not spell out exactly what they are. Along with the various laws that were commanded to the Jewish people, such as the commandment to wear Tefillin and to rest on Shabbat, came an oral explanation that explained exactly what the mitzvah entails. This is called the Oral Torah, as it was meant to remain as an "oral tradition" and passed on from parent to child throughout the generations. Some 1700 years ago, when the harsh Roman persecutions threatened the transmission, the Oral Torah was written down to form the Talmud.

Although the Written Torah does not state the exact number of the mitzvot, there is a clear tradition in the Oral Torah that the total is 613. The Talmud (Makkot 23b) states that God taught Moses 613 mitzvot, 365 negative ones ("don't do X") corresponding to the days of the (solar) year, and 248 positive ones corresponding to the limbs of the human being. The overall message is that the mitzvot serve the purpose of perfecting mankind, in both the dimensions of space and time.

It should be mentioned that although our tradition states clearly the totals, never does it tell us the precise list. This has engendered much discussion among the medieval scholars what precisely constitutes the list and the principles for counting mitzvot. For example, should we count the administration of each of the four types of death penalties as separate commandments or as a single one? The discrepancies are for the most part minor, but the precise rules for classification require much analysis. Some of the scholars to have compiled their own lists are Maimonides, Nachmanides, and R. Moshe of Coucy (known as SeMaG after his main work).

Another well-known hint to the 613 mitzvot dates from the story of Jacob. When Jacob was returning to the Holy Land from Laban's house in Aram, he sends Esau a conciliatory message. It began, "I have dwelled (GARTI) with Laban..." (Genesis 32:5). The Midrash ingeniously points out that the Hebrew word "garti" contains the same letters as "taryag" – the representation of the number 613 in Hebrew letters. Thus, Jacob's implied message was, "With Laban did I dwell, and the 613 mitzvot I observed." One implication of this is that the Patriarchs observed the Torah long before it was given at Sinai.

For a list of the 613 mitzvot, see: http://www.aish.com/jl/m/m/48945081.html

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Elul 5

Assimilation – Causes and Solutions

I am doing research for a Jewish studies course in my university. Today, with "Jewish continuity" such a priority (as it is in every generation), can you answer the question: What has been the secret of success for Jewish communities throughout history?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah provides us with two insights: First, in Genesis 46:28, when the Jews move down to Egypt, Jacob sent Judah ahead of everyone in order to make advance arrangements. The Torah describes Judah's preparations as "li-horot" – "to teach." The Midrash says that before even a synagogue or a JCC, Judah established a Jewish school. For a thriving Jewish community, Jewish education must be the number one priority.

Second, the Midrash says that when Jacob's family first arrived in Egypt, they made a pact amongst themselves in order to prevent assimilation. They agreed not to change their names, style of dress or language. With these safeguards, they were able to keep a healthy distance from the fads of secular society.

Using these principles, Jews have managed to stay strong all these millennia. But in today’s world, we are finding more of a challenge, and the consequences are devastating. Young Jews are apathetic and disinterested.

But we can break the cycle and turn our ship around. How? By renewing our commitment to Jewish education and Jewish observance. The Torah offers literally thousands of opportunities to express Jewish identity on a regular basis. Light Shabbat candles, or say the Shema. Listen to audio classes while commuting, or start a lunchtime study group at the office. Speak Hebrew, play Jewish music, or pay that long-overdue visit to Israel.

Another key element in combating assimilation is to reach out to other, less affiliated Jews. It is a Torah principle that if you know a piece of wisdom, you are obligated to share it. If we can’t rely on those who care, then who can we rely on?

Project Inspire is an organization (started by Aish HaTorah) which provides user-friendly tools for Jews to reach out and inspire other Jews. See more at: www.kiruv.com

If you are reading, then you care. So don't hesitate. The options are endless. The reward is eternal.

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Elul 6

Kiruv Drive

Is there a possibility to invite someone to our home for Shabbat dinner, if they are not Shabbat observant and will probably drive home after the meal?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach addressed your situation. He writes that one is permitted to invite someone who lives at a distance, as long as you offer him a place to sleep so that he will not have to desecrate Shabbos. Even if he does not take you up on the offer, and you suspect that he won't, that is okay because you have done your part to facilitate his Shabbat observance. ("Minchas Shlomo" 4:10:1)

Further, Rabbi Moshe Sternbuch explains that since you have their spiritual good in mind, this is not placing "stumbling block in front of the blind." (Teshuvos V'hanhagos 1:358)

Some rabbis go even further and say that you can let them drive if you estimate that this particular Shabbat experience will have a significant effect on their moving along in Torah commitment.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, however, was more stringent in these cases. ("Igrot Moshe" O.C. 1:99)

The bottom line is that every situation is different, and you should consult with your own rabbi for guidance.

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Elul 7

Eishet Yefat To’ar – Woman Captured in War

I find Deuteronomy 21:10-14 to be quite shocking. How can the Torah permit soldiers raping and capturing women in battle and keeping them against their will? It seems so inconsistent with so much else the Torah teaches us about marriage – and about waging war. It is true that the Torah requires a waiting period of 30 days in which the woman is made less attractive. But if the man still wants her after that he seems to be able to keep her whether she wants it or not. What is the explanation?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You are actually quite right. This section of the Torah is strikingly inconsistent with many principles of Torah law and norms of Jewish behavior. And the explanation behind it is a fascinating one.

The Sages explain that an intriguing principle is at play here: “The Torah is addressing man’s evil inclination” (Talmud Kiddushin 21b) – meaning, the Torah permitted such behavior only because of the demands of man’s evil inclination. God recognizes that such things are bound to occur during the course of war. It would be unrealistic for the Torah to forbid the soldiers from abusing the women entirely. Thus, the Torah permitted it – at the same time vastly restricting such behavior – as well as forcing the perpetrators to live with the consequences.

The wisdom of the Torah in this is profound. First of all, by permitting the relationship, the soldiers – some of whom are bound to slip – will not feel they are vile sinners but will know they are acting within the confines of the law.

Secondly, the Torah greatly restricts such behavior – and the soldiers, who are still behaving within the framework of Torah law, will hopefully abide by it. For example, a soldier may rape only a single woman a single time, and only at the time of her capture (Maimonides, Laws of Kings 8:2-3). And even more significantly, he cannot just leave her, but must bring her into his home and take responsibility for her.

This final point contains an even more significant lesson. If a soldier wants to take advantage of another person in such a manner, he becomes responsible for her. He cannot just enjoy her and walk off. He must take her home and care for her. He is likewise expected to marry her and treat her as an equal for the rest of his life.

At the same time, the captive woman undergoes a month of transition till she becomes a full Jewess. She stays in his home and is made especially unattractive. Her hair is shaved off, she is given unappealing clothes, and her nails are let to grow (v. 13). She sits at his doorstep crying over her parents and past. If the soldier still desires her after that period, perhaps there is something deeper to his attraction. She converts (only if she is willing to) and he marries her. But in the much likelier outcome that the soldier has long lost interest in her, he must set her free, neither selling her nor making her work for him.

It is also significant to note that this section of the Torah is immediately followed by the section of the hated wife (relating to the laws of inheritance) and then by the section of the rebellious son. As the commentator Rashi (Deut. 21:11) points out, the sections are connected. One who goes so far as marrying the coveted woman will eventually hate her, and he is quite liable to father rotten kids through her.

It is thus clear that such behavior is in fact quite far from the Torah’s notions of morality. The captured woman is hardly a marriage made in heaven, and the consequences of taking her are both burdensome for the soldier and potentially devastating for his future family. God so to speak really does not want the soldiers to act in such a way. Yet the Torah is practical and realistic enough not to attempt to forbid the relationship entirely. The Torah thus permitted it – and there is that outside chance there was more to the relationship than simple physical lust. But in the course of permitting it, the Torah teaches us important lessons in taking responsibility for our actions and living with the consequences of our poor choices.

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Elul 8

Great Teshuva

My friend and I are having a disagreement about degrees of righteousness in God's eyes. Who is greater: One who is virtuous by inclination, or one who is virtuous by choice - i.e. one who must struggle with his passions and transform vice into virtue?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Talmud says: "In a place where a ba'al teshuva (spiritual returnee) stands, even a full tzaddik cannot stand" (Brachot 34b). The idea is that by having sunk to the lowest depths, and then genuinely turning one's life around, the distance traveled in a positive direction is so great that it even exceeds those who have always been on the plus-side.

(Of course, one would not want to deliberately get into a negative situation, because there is no guarantee of coming out. Further, it often leaves residual stains.)

The great Mishnah commentary, Tifferet Yisrael (Kiddushin 4:14), tells of a fascinating event in the life of Moses:

An Arabian king sent an artist to the Israelite camp with orders to paint a portrait of Moses and to return with it to Arabia. (Those were the days before digital cameras.) Upon receiving the portrait, the king's physiognomists prepared a "face-reading" analysis of Moses to determine the base nature of Moses' personality. The ensuing report described Moses as greedy and arrogant. The king rebuked his physiognomists for their patently absurd analysis, given Moses' sterling reputation for kindness and humility.

The king decided to resolve the matter by visiting the Israelite camp and relating to Moses all that transpired. Moses assured the king that the physiognomists were as competent as the artist. Moses explained that by inclination he had many character flaws. Only sustained self-discipline and sheer determination enabled him to overcome his natural inclination and to obtain the stature and glory that were now his.

I should mention that various rabbis doubt this story, given the other sources that Moses was righteous from birth. But the idea is valid: Through sheer determination, we can overcome our flaws and achieve great spiritual heights.

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Elul 9

Golem

I recently visited Israel and stayed at the home of distant cousins. We were playing basketball and one kid said to another: "Don't just stand there like a golem - do something!" I'd heard about the idea of a Golem before, but this got me curious. Can you fill in the background? Thank you.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The word "golem" appears in Psalms 139:16. A golem is a body in human form, but without an ability to speak - and therefore no soul. The Talmud relates that the Sages were able to create living beings through their knowledge of Kabbalah. This is achieved through combining the 22 letters of the aleph-bet into various Names of God.

This is similar to the process, so to speak, that God Himself used to create the world, as it is written: "And God SAID, 'Let there be light.'" (Genesis 1:3)

The Talmud says that for the first few hours of life, Adam was a Golem - i.e. without a soul and not yet "human."

Golems became famous in the Middle Ages when the Jews were frequently accused of blood libels. Apparently, when a Christian baby would die of some disease, it would be secretly left in the yard of a Jewish family. The police would then be called, claiming that "the Jews killed the baby in order to use Christian blood to bake matzahs." (In fact, this is one reason why the custom developed to open the door for Elijah the Prophet on Seder night - in order to be on the lookout for potential "baby plantings.")

Legend says that in the 16th century, the Maharal of Prague created a Golem to patrol the streets and protect the Jews. Apparently, the Maharal engraved God's Name on the Golem's forehead (or perhaps wrote God's Name on a paper and placed it in the Golem's mouth.) Either way, the Golem eventually got out of control and had to be killed. According to legend, his body was hidden in the attic of the old synagogue in Prague. It is likely that this became the source for Mary Shelly's book, "Frankenstein."

I don't know of any recent Golems, though it is said about the Vilna Gaon (18th century) that he was about to create one, when an angel came and told him to stop. "Why?" asked the Vilna Gaon. "Because you are not yet Bar Mitzvah," the angel replied. (The Vilna Gaon was a child genius.)

Today, there are those who want to suggest that a cloned human might in fact be a modern-day Golem. However, a child born to a human mother, from a human embryo, would almost certainly be considered a full-fledged human being with its own unique soul.

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Elul 10

Abraham – the First Jew

Why is Abraham considered the first Jew?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

When he was three years old, Abraham looked around at the world of nature with all its perfection, beauty, symmetry, precision, timing, balance, integration, coordination, unity – and he concluded that for the world to be designed so perfectly, there obviously must be an intelligent designer. It was then that Abraham discovered God.

Noah also knew about God, and his descendants Shem and Ever even had a yeshiva! If so, in what way was Abraham different that he is chosen to start the Jewish people?

What makes Abraham unique is not just that he recognized God, but that he understood the need to go out and share this with others. The Midrash likens spiritual knowledge to a bottle of perfume. If you leave the bottle of perfume corked and sitting in a corner, what good is it? Shem and Ever were like a closed bottle of perfume, off studying in a corner somewhere.

But Abraham went out and taught people about monotheism. He pitched his tent, which was open on all four sides, in the middle of an inter-city highway. He authored a 400-chapter book refuting idolatry. And he endured all types of mockery and persecution for holding beliefs that were, to say the least, politically incorrect. In fact, the Torah calls him "Avraham Ha-Ivri" – Abraham the Hebrew. HA-IVRI translates literally as "the one who stands on the other side." The entire world stood on one side, with Abraham standing firm on the other.

Abraham distinguished himself as being a lover of all humanity. When God sought to destroy the corrupt city of Sodom, Abraham was willing to stand up against God and argue that they should be spared. He cared about everyone and viewed himself not as an individual trying to perfect himself, but as the progenitor of a movement to bring God's existence into perfect clarity.

That is the Jewish legacy – serving as an inspiration and a role model for all humanity.

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Elul 11

Temple Mount

I am not loving the fact that the view today from the Western Wall Camera includes the Dome of the Rock. How can I overcome the heartbreak every time I see our holy Temple Mount being occupied by another religion?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

On the one hand, it is very difficult for Jews to accept that something is built on the spot of the Holy Temple.

On the other hand, we can thank God for the kindness He has shown – since I imagine He could have allowed a much less flattering structure built on it – like a parking lot, or a sanctuary to an idol. In this case, the Muslims believe in one God and treat the Temple Mount with sanctity.

In fact, Maimonides explains that other monotheistic religions have flourished in order to help spread essential Jewish ideals, to better prepare the world for the coming of the Messiah.

What is highly objectionable is when political and religious leaders try to deny the indisputable history that two Jewish Temples existed on this site for hundreds of years – long before the founding of Islam. For example, Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas was quoted in the newspaper Kul Al-Arab (August 25, 2000) that: the Jews "claim that 2,000 years ago they had a Temple. I challenge the claim that this is so."

May the Almighty bring the redemption speedily in our days.

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Elul 12

Life's Big Picture

My credo in life has always been: Work hard, plan, and struggle. Yet I find that things often just end up a big mess. The righteous suffer and the wicked prosper. How can the pieces of this puzzle possibly fit together?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The premise for this question comes from a certain lack of perspective. Somehow we imagine that the world began when we're born, and ends when we die. Everything that happened beforehand is lumped together as "ancient history." If I can't understand it today, then it must not make sense at all.

The following story has a very deep message:

There once was a farmer who owned a horse. One day the horse ran away. All the people in the town came to console him because of the loss. "Oh, I don't know," said the farmer, "maybe it's a bad thing and maybe it's not."

A few days later, the horse returned to the farm accompanied by 20 other horses. (Apparently he had found some wild horses and made friends!) All the townspeople came to congratulate him: "Now you have a stable full of horses!" "Oh, I don't know," said the farmer, "maybe it's a good thing and maybe it's not."

A few days later, the farmer's son was out riding one of the new horses. The horse got wild and threw him off, breaking the son's leg. All the people in town came to console the farmer because of the accident. "Oh, I don't know," said the farmer, "maybe it's a bad thing and maybe it's not."

A few days later, the government declared war and instituted a draft of all able-bodied young men. They came to the town and carted off hundreds of young men, except for the farmer's son who had a broken leg. "Now I know," said the farmer, "that it was a good thing my horse ran away."

The point of this story is obvious. Life is a series of events, and until we've reached the end of the series, it's hard to know exactly why things are happening. That's one reason the Torah commands us to give respect to every elderly person - because through the course of life experience, they have seen the jigsaw puzzle pieces fall into place.

It is interesting that one of the weekly Torah portions, "Miketz," ends on a bad note, and is then resolved at the beginning of the following week. Why didn't the Torah simply extend "Miketz" a few verses and have it end good? Because the Torah wants to communicate the lesson that we don't always see the whole picture. More than any other Biblical account, the story of Joseph illustrates the lesson "that everything turns out good in end." In order to drive home this lesson, the Torah makes us wait one week to find out the ending!

The truth is that we are here on Earth for short time. We do not see the "Big Picture." We don't know all the details that happened before we were here, and we certainly don't know what will happen after we're gone. It is unfair to take a single event out of context. Why did it happen? We might not see the answer immediately; we might not even see in our lifetime.

In truth, it is often when things look the most grim that they then turn around. The night is at its absolute darkness just moments before the first rays of morning sun begin to illuminate the sky.

In the morning prayer service, we say, "Blessed are You, God, Who forms light and creates darkness..." Judaism says that the darkness is not a negative, but rather is a necessary step along the path toward light. Only because of our limited perception, do we perceive the darkness as an end unto itself.

A seed, when placed in the ground, is in a dark, cold and dirty place. The seed then begins to decay. To the onlooker, it looks like death. And then, at the very moment that the seed has completely broken down, something miraculous happens. It begins to sprout.

Think about your life, your career, your relationships with others and with God. Was the process smooth? In general, have you experienced greater growth when times have been tough or when times have been smooth?

From the darkness comes light.

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Elul 13

Is Coca Cola Kosher?

I've noticed religious Jews buying Coke at my local supermarket, but I don’t understand how it can be kosher if the formula is a big secret. Also, it doesn't say "kosher" anywhere on the label.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

This is a fascinating question. Coke is kosher because it has proper rabbinical supervision. The fact that nothing is printed on the label is a marketing decision by the company.

But you raise the obvious question: Everybody knows that the formula for Coca-Cola is one of the greatest all-time secrets. So how can the rabbi possibly know what he is supervising? Only two top executives actually have access to the information, and the Coca-Cola company has many guidelines to guarantee the safety of the secret.

Legend tells of one ingenious solution: The Coca-Cola company gave the rabbi a long list of ingredients (with no mention of the quantities), only some of which are actually in Coke itself. The rabbi approved the entire list, and the company only uses part of the list in actual production.

The truth is probably more along these lines: The supervising rabbi knows the formula, and was trusted to simply sign a non-disclosure agreement.

Here's another "kosher Coke tidbit:" One of the main ingredients in Coke is corn syrup, which Jews do not eat during Passover. So in cities with large Jewish populations, the local Coca-Cola bottling company will make a special batch of Coke using sugar instead. Actually, the original Coke formula called for sugar, and it was only in recent years that the company switched to high fructose corn syrup. So it turns out that once a year, Coke aficionados (from all ethnic persuasions) scout out supermarkets in Jewish neighborhoods – buying up caseloads of "the real thing!"

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Elul 14

Being a Good Jew

I am 50 years old and am on a path back to the Judaism that I was raised with, but unfortunately abandoned for so many years. I am asking lots of people this question, and now I'll ask you: How do I become a better Jew?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Abraham was the first Jew because he promoted the idea of God in the world. So by raising awareness of God in your life - and inspiring others to do the same - you become a better Jew.

Let's say that you are walking down a street when suddenly you notice the most beautiful apples dangling from a tree. On a sign hanging from a rusty nail are the hand-painted words, "Free apples. Pick and eat all you want!"

What are you going to do? Eat them of course! But how are you going to eat them?

Are you going to take ten apples and gobble them up as fast as you can?

The "gobble" approach may give immediate satisfaction, but gluttony doesn't make one closer to God. Try another approach.

Why not try eating the apple very slowly so that every little tiny molecule explodes a burst of flavor into your mouth so that you swoon with delight from the terrific flavor?

This approach, is an excellent way to notice how God is in everything.

In truth, we would be able to see how whole world is filled with God if we took the time and experienced everything deeply. Say to yourself, "How did God pack so much juice into this apple? Why does it taste so sweet? The colors are so bright! All in a waterproof cover! And all growing out of a piece of wood! Could this apple exist by a fluke of nature? No. There must be a God!"

This approach is great if you have a free hour to eat one apple.

Fortunately, there is another approach that works. And that is to say a blessing!

When one says a blessing, he elevates something mundane and makes it spiritual. In other words, an apple has many different nutrients that can nourish a person's body, and give him great enjoyment. But without a blessing, only the body gains nourishment, while the soul is left screaming that it is malnourished. A blessing, however, gives the food a spiritual component as well.

When one recognizes the need to make everything he or she does into a spiritual experience, automatically one notices God even in ordinary things, and thus, one becomes a better Jew!

The truth is that all 613 mitzvahs of the Torah help focus our energies and elevate our actions. For example, our work can become a holy activity when a percentage of our earnings are donated to Tzedakah. So too, Shabbat elevates time, Kashrut elevates food, the land of Israel elevates space, etc.

Perhaps I could recommend two excellent books:

"Gateway to Judaism" by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

"To Be a Jew" by Chaim Halevi Donin

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Elul 15

How to Pray Well

How does a person pray well? I understand the Hebrew of the prayers pretty well, but I can’t really get myself excited about saying them. Are there any good ideas for helping a person pray with emotion? I’m especially bothered that I feel God knows already what I need – better than I do – and if so what’s the purpose going through the motions of telling Him?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for your important question. The truth is, even though prayer can be inspirational, it does take effort too. On the one hand, there should be nothing more exciting than having a private audience with God, where we can open up to Him and tell Him our innermost thoughts. On the other, it does take some effort to understand just what prayer is all about and to build up our concentration to really connect with God in prayer. On a daily basis, prayer requires much focus, as well as catching ourselves that we aren’t just mouthing the words thoughtlessly.

One of the most important means of praying well is by envisioning what you are praying for. For example, if a person is praying to find a job, he should take some time to imagine how wonderful his life would be if he had that job he is looking for. Rather than this getting him down how lacking his life is now, it should serve as an incentive. He knows it is entirely in God’s hands to get him there, and now he truly wants it and turns to God to provide it.

The above is not just a good inducement to heartfelt prayer. It actually gets to the heart of what prayer is all about. Prayer is not simply a matter of asking God for what we want. It is picturing whom we want to become. And this requires understanding who we are, what our needs are, and what our goals in life should be – and of turning to God to help us achieve them. Clearly defining our proper life goals is the first step towards achieving them.

The first step towards proper prayer is deciding what to ask for. To do so, we need to better understand ourselves – who are we really and what should our focus in life truly be? We all have many dreams and fantasies in life. When we prepare ourselves to stand before God, we must first introspect – what are our worthy dreams and goals in life? What should we bring up before God? Should we pray that our ball team win or that we bench press 250 pounds – or that we become better spouses and parents? And likewise, what is realistic for us – that we win Academy Awards, Emmy Awards, Tony Awards, Grammy Awards, etc. – or that we successfully support our families and contribute to society?

The Hebrew word for prayer is “hitpallel” – which is a reflexive verb literally meaning to pray to oneself. In prayer we do not only pray to God. We equally look inside ourselves – deciding what our true needs and goals are. We must ask ourselves what we want in life and why. Do we want X because it is truly our soul’s need, or because someone else has it? Is this something we can really stand before God and say this is a need? Or is it just a vain fantasy, something either not appropriate or not realistic for us? God wants us to pray to Him not because He needs to be reminded what our needs are, but so that we can understand this ourselves. Prayer is a process of coming closer to ourselves as much as to God.

At the end of Jacob’s life, Joseph brings his sons Ephraim and Manasseh for blessings. Jacob exclaims to Joseph “I did not even imagine seeing your face, and behold, God has also shown me your offspring (Genesis 48:11). The word Jacob uses for “imagine” is “filalti” – of the same root as the word hitpallel. Prayer is thus not only asking God for something. It is imagining becoming whom I’d like to become. Prayer is envisioning myself becoming a greater person – and asking God for the Divine assistance to help me get there.

May God answer all our prayers for the good!

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Elul 16

Who is Satan?

I have a Christian friend who is always talking about God's battle with Satan. Why is Satan allowed to come to earth to sow death, hatred, and other turmoil? It would seem to be much easier to have banned him before he caused the hurt of so many. Is this a Jewish concept as well?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Although Judaism introduced the concept of Satan, it differs significantly from the later Christian idea.

In Judaism, Satan is just another one of the many spiritual messengers (angels) that God sends to accomplish His purpose. Satan has no power independent of God; otherwise this would imply a lack of God's all-inclusive control and power.

It is my understanding that Christianity holds Satan to be independent of God; thus the idea of a “battle” between them.

The definition of the Hebrew word "satan" means an adversary (see Numbers 22:22). Satan's mission is to tempt people away from God and lead them astray. In this way, a person has the opportunity to strengthen their loyalty and connection to God. (see Talmud - Baba Batra 15a)

To learn more, read the biblical Book of Job, a classic case where Satan is sent to challenge one's relationship with God.

May the Almighty give us all the courage and clarity to overcome our challenges!

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Elul 17

Firstborn (Bechor) Privileges

I’ve been studying Deuteronomy with my children and was at a loss to explain why the firstborn receives a double portion of the inheritance (21:17). What is the basis for this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It’s a very good question. The Torah accords a higher status to the firstborn (bechor) – giving them a double portion of their father’s inheritance, and initially putting the Temple service in their hands – until later that service was given to the Priests in their stead.

(1) The oldest son would naturally take over the family’s affairs with the father’s passing. It was thus natural to give him a larger portion of the family estate. The firstborn is also credited with making his father into a father; thus, he has a special role in the family (R. Samson Raphael Hirsh Deut. 21:17)

(2) A father naturally loves his eldest son most since he views him as his continuity. The firstborn demonstrates that his father is capable of having children and serves as a constant reminder that the family line will continue (Abarbanel Deut. 21:17).

(3) Firsts are always beloved to God, such as the first fruits (which are brought to the Temple) and the firstborn animals. God likewise grants the firstborn son an extra portion (Abarbanel ibid.).

(4) Originally the Temple service was the charge of the firstborn – until it was given to the Tribe of Levi in their stead. The Tribe of Levi did not inherit a portion of the Land of Israel because they were to be dedicated entirely to Divine service. As a result, they were not given land to work, but instead would receive tithes from the rest of the nation.

Had the firstborn remained obligated in the Temple, they too would not have been granted an inheritance. Now however, that they were replaced, they not only receive their own portion of their father’s estate, but they receive an extra one – in place of the one lost by Levi (Yalkut Reuveni Ki Tetzei, quoted in Chizkuni Numbers 3:12).

It should be mentioned that although the above is the Torah’s straightforward rule, it is very common to arrange matters differently today – for example, for a father to bequeath more to his other sons and some to his daughters, or to leave a portion of his estate for his wife. Although we may not transgress the Torah’s command, there are means of doing so which are legitimate both religiously and legally (it involves the father giving a portion of his assets as gifts shortly before his death). Although the details of this are beyond the scope of this response, any religious lawyer who deals with estate planning should be able to guide you in how this should properly be done.

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Elul 18

Fulfill Potential

My grandfather made a lot of money and left me a good chunk of it. I'm a pretty talented guy, but I enjoy mountain biking and hanging out with my friends. My parents are hassling me to "go to college and do something with your life." But I'm not sure what's the problem with my current lifestyle. I'm certainly not harming anyone. What should I answer them?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Allow me to share a story. The Netziv, Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, lived in Lithuania a few hundred years ago. He was the most famous rabbi of his generation, and it's said that in the 40 years he headed the yeshiva in the town of Voluzhin, some 10,000 students studied there. The Netziv wrote commentaries on all parts of the Torah, and once when he'd published a particularly difficult work, called "HaEmek Shayla," he called together his friends for a special celebration, where he told them the following story:

"When I was a child, I never paid attention in school. I was lazy and did not want to concentrate. Then one day when I was 11 years old, I came home from school and heard my parents talking. My father was explaining how he'd spoken to my teacher and together they'd concluded that I'd never amount to anything in terms of scholarship. So, my father explained, he was arranging to enroll me as an apprentice shoemaker as soon as I became Bar Mitzvah.

"I was so shocked by this conversation that I ran to my parents and exclaimed: 'I'm sorry I've been so negligent with my studies. Please give me one more chance to prove that I'm a good student.' And from that day onward, I applied myself to the study of Torah with tremendous vigor and dedication. Since then I have not wasted a moment and it is that devotion which has enabled me to write the commentary which we are celebrating today."

Then the Netziv continued: "But just imagine what would have happened had I not overheard my parents' conversation. I'd probably have ended up as a shoemaker. And I'd have been a pretty good shoemaker besides! But think of what would have happened at the end of my life when I'd get up to the Heavenly Court and they'd ask me: 'Naftali, show us what you've done with your life.' And I'd proudly show them my beautiful shoes: the fine workmanship, the quality leather and the exquisite design.

"And then they'd ask me: 'But Naftali, where are all the books you were to publish? Where are your 10,000 students?'"

The Netziv continued: "And what would I possibly respond??"

(Of course there is nothing wrong with being a good shoemaker. But in this case the Netziv had a different set of skills that made him fitting for great scholarship.)

Every human being was created with a unique set of skills and talents - and a unique set of life circumstances. The Almighty created each of us with a special role to fulfill, a special problem to fix, a spiritual greatness to achieve. The task of life is to figure out what is our specific unique purpose in life - and then embark on a path to achieve that purpose.

In your case, you're still young and you probably don't feel that time is passing. But it is. And quite likely, in another 5 or 10 or 20 or 30 years, you will wake up one day and say, "Oy - I've wasted so much time!"

That can be a tragic realization from which you may never recover.

So my advice is not to wait to figure out your higher purpose in life. Get started today, right now. Best of luck, and let me know how it goes!