Ask the Rabbi

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Tishrei 15

Three Pilgrimage Festivals

The Bible speaks about the entire Jewish nation going to Jerusalem for the three pilgrimage festivals. Is that still practiced today?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

From a technical standpoint, it was only when the Temple was standing that people were required to appear three times annually and bring an offering – on Passover, Sukkot and Shavuot. (Shulchan Aruch O.C. 117:1; Nodeh BiYehuda O.C. 94; Chasam Sofer Y.D. 233; Yabia Omer O.C. 5:15; Tzitz Eliezer 10:1)

Nevertheless, citing the Midrash from Shir HaShirim, some opinions maintain that coming today to see the Temple Mount and the Western Wall still applies on the pilgrimage festivals (Ran – Ta’anit 7a; She'alat Ya'avetz 1:87; Yechaveh Daas 1:25; Teshuvah Kol Mevaser 2:10).

Whatever the case, today many tens of thousands of people make a point to come visit the site of the Temple and the Western Wall during the festival days. The Aish Center, whose spectacular rooftop terrace rises seven stories above the Western Wall Plaza, offers a particularly unique vantage point to fulfill this.

Your question also raises a unique aspect of pilgrimage that I think you'll enjoy:

Imagine we're a committee writing the Bible. If we made up a law that all the men in Israel are required to go to Jerusalem and visit the Temple, three times each year on the pilgrimage holidays, do you think it's a good idea?

On one hand, it unites the people. They get inspired to gather as a nation and see the priestly service in the Temple.

Why is it a bad idea?

If all the men are in Jerusalem, who's going to guard the land? What will happen when the enemies find out that no one is protecting the borders? It won't take long for them to figure out that three times a year the Jews leave themselves wide open to attack.

Of course, we could send the men in shifts, as opposed to all at once. But the Torah is very clear: "Three times each year, all your males shall present themselves before God, the Master and Lord of Israel" (Exodus 34:23).

And if one might think that is the making of a national tragedy, the very next verse promises: "[N]o one will be envious of your land when you go to be seen in God's presence" (Exodus 34:24).

In other words, don’t worry. God will make sure that no one will even think of attacking you! Who in their right mind would write this? The one thing the author of the Bible knows for sure is that he can't control the thoughts of their enemies, never mind the bullets!

Why take such an outlandish risk? Did the author actually expect the people to say, "Oh, that's a great idea; everybody'll just leave and we'll be unprotected. No problem." And even if by some fluke, the people swallow it, after the first pilgrimage or two, they're out of business, assuming they're still alive!

Which brings us to an astounding conclusion: Not only does this pilgrimage idea demonstrate that God has supernatural control, but simple psychology forces us to ask who else but God could write such a thing and expect people to accept it?

This is just another piece of evidence substantiating God as the Author of the Torah.

(based on Aish HaTorah’s Discovery Seminar)

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Tishrei 16

Two Days of Yom Tov

I live in England and want to know: Why do we celebrate one day of Yom Kippur, but two days of the other holidays? What's the difference?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

In the times of the Holy Temple, the high court (Sanhedrin) would declare each new month (Rosh Chodesh) only after witnesses would come and say that they saw the new moon. This is a special power that God gave the Jewish people to control time, and is irrespective of any scientific knowledge. When the Sanhedrin declared the day to be Rosh Chodesh, they would send messengers to notify everyone which day is the first day of the month, so that they could correctly calculate the Yom Tov, or other occasions.

Those who lived far from Jerusalem, where the messengers could not reach before the 15th of Nissan (Pesach) or the 15th of Tishrei (Sukkot), would keep two days Yom Tov, out of doubt regarding which day the witnesses saw the new moon.

Nowadays, we do not have the Sanhedrin declaring Rosh Chodesh, and everything follows a preset calendar established by the patriarch Hillel II in the 5th century CE. Yet we still keep two days Yom Tov (Sukkot, Pesach and Shavuot) in the Diaspora, in commemoration of those days when we had two days Yom Tov in the Diaspora. (Maimonides - Kiddush HaChodesh 5:5)

On another level, some want to suggest that a second day Yom Tov was added in order to make a distinction for those living in the Diaspora: that for a Jew, not residing in the Holy Land is in a sense an aberration.

The reason that Yom Kippur is only one day even in the Diaspora is that it would be too difficult for people to fast for two days straight.

On Rosh Hashana (which is always the first day of Tishrei - i.e. Rosh Chodesh), we sometimes had two days of Rosh Hashana in Jerusalem as well. If the witnesses did not arrive the first day, they would keep Yom Tov that day, just in case they'd show up in middle of the day; and the next day. Therefore, by rabbinical decree, even in Jerusalem, we observe nowadays two days Yom Tov. (Maimonides - Kiddush HaChodesh 3:9, 5:7-8)

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Tishrei 17

Mitzvah to Live in Israel

I'm trying to get clarity on whether it is considered a mitzvah to live in Israel. Should a believing Jew live in Israel, or are other countries equally compatible with a Jewish life?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Land of Israel is central to Judaism. It is an intrinsic part of the covenant that God promised to Abraham and his descendants (Genesis 12), and most events recorded in the Bible took place in Israel.

The mitzvah to live in Israel is based on the verse, "You shall possess the Land and dwell in it" (Numbers 33:53). The Talmud states that "every 4 amot (about 7 feet) that a person walks in Israel is another mitzvah."

The question, however, is whether this mitzvah is compulsory in our times when the Holy Temple is not standing. This is the basis of a dispute between two great Talmudic commentators, Maimonides and Nachmanides. A leading 20th century sage, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, concludes that living in Israel is a "mitzvah kiyuma" – while it is a great mitzvah, there is no absolute obligation to do so.

The general approach today is that if both places (Israel and the Diaspora) are equally "livable," one should make the effort to live in Israel. Every year, approximately 3,000 Jews make aliyah from North America – 90 percent of them religious.

Over the centuries, Jews have always yearned to live in the Holy Land, so much so that many individuals, and occasionally small groups, risked their lives to be there. Nevertheless, the mass movement of aliyah ("going up to Israel") for the most part did not occur until the advent of political Zionism in the 20th century.

Nachmanides (13th century Spain) knew that he would have to endure great difficulty in coming to Israel due to the primitive travel conditions and plagues that often broke out on the way. Nevertheless, at the ripe old age of 72 he made the ascent.

When he came to Jerusalem, he was struck with both awe and grief – awe that he was standing in the place where Isaac was bound on the altar, where Jacob dreamed of the ladder, and where King Solomon built the Holy Temple. But grieved by fact that the entire city lay in ruins; a recent attack by Mongols had left Jerusalem with only 2,000 survivors, and barely a minyan of Jews. When he saw the desolation, he tore his clothes to mourn Jerusalem's destruction.

He had come to Israel to achieve a higher purpose. The Talmud says that "A person who dwells in the Diaspora is like one who worships idols" (Ketubot 110b). The commentators explain that it is important to live in the right moral and spiritual environment – even if this means sacrificing some material comforts. One who doesn't follow this path is as if living under the aegis of negative forces.

Indeed, Israel is the only land conducive to prophecy, the highest level of communion with God. Even today, those who live in Israel experience extraordinary Divine assistance in Torah study and spiritual growth. As the Sages said, "The air of Israel makes one wise." Despite the security situation, in many ways one can experience a higher level of tranquility in Israel than can be experienced elsewhere.

Furthermore, many commandments only apply in Israel – for example the mitzvot of Trumah and Maaser (tithes), the Sabbatical year (Shmitah), and more. In fact, the Bible tells us that after Moses erred by hitting the rock, God informed him that he would not merit to enter the Land of Israel. Moses begged to be given permission – solely because he wanted the opportunity to perform the mitzvot associated with the land.

Of course, this is not to say that life outside of Israel is somehow not "worthwhile." A life dedicated to Torah and mitzvot is worthwhile wherever it is. Sometimes a person's contribution to the Jewish people can be even greater outside of Israel, especially when involved in Jewish education, outreach or community matters.

For someone pondering a move to Israel, many factors should be considered. Will you be able to find work that provides you with the time and money to fulfill the mitzvot – for example, Torah study, giving charity, and providing a Torah education for your children? The Sages emphasize that a person should come to Israel only if he is reasonably certain that he can support his family and guarantee a successful education for his children.

Interestingly, many Western immigrants in Israel today maintain a full-time job back in their country of origin (e.g. America and England), either by tele-commuting or flying back and forth. Many creative options are available.

Other factors to consider: How will you deal with living far from family? How do you feel about the security situation? How will you adapt to a new culture? What suitable marriage prospects are available? What appropriate Torah study program will you connect with?

Coming to Israel is sort of like getting married: Everyone should do so eventually, but not because a well-meaning relative bullies you into it. If you do so when the time is right, you're more likely to fall in love.

Of course, don’t wait forever. One man I know woke up one morning and realized: If I don’t go now, I'll never go. That day he announced at work that he was leaving, and so he did.

Finally, you should know that it takes time to get past the "I can't take it here anymore, I'm going home!" stage. Dealing with all the adjustments and bureaucracy in Israel can be frustrating. Indeed, the Talmud says that the Land of Israel is "only acquired with difficulty." But I assure you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and life in Israel is both marvelous and miraculous.

To help ease the transition, here are two excellent resources: Nefesh B'Nefesh (www.nbn.org.il) facilitates aliyah and even provides grant money, and AACI (www.aaci.org.il) is devoted to servicing the needs of immigrants from North America.

We pray to soon see the final redemption and the full ingathering of the Jewish exiles to our homeland.

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Tishrei 18

Angels

What does Judaism say about angels? Are they involved in our lives? I've always felt like I have a guardian angel, but I'd like to know more. Does it have a name? How do I communicate with it?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

First, let's try to understand exactly what an angel is.

If you see little children flying around your head with their wings flapping happily behind them, don't think these are angels. They're hallucinations! Real angels don't have bodies, wings, or one drop of physicality.

The reason, however they are quite often described as being winged humans (such as in Exodus 25:17, Isaiah 6:2, Ezekiel 1:5 and 10:18) is to help us understand something about their essence. This is similar to how the Torah describes God as having a "strong hand and outstretched arm." Of course, God doesn't have an arm! Rather, the Torah is conveying to us something about God's mighty strength in a way that we can understand. (Maimonides - Book of Knowledge 2:4)

Angels are defined as metaphysical beings who are messengers of God. They are spiritual, but they have no free will. They can only do exactly what they have been commanded to do by their Creator.

The word "Malach" (Hebrew for "angel") means "messenger," and it also translates as "work." In other words, an angel is a "messenger" of God who carries out His "work." Similarly, the English word "angel" comes from the Greek word "angelos" meaning "messenger" or "agent."

Angels are sometimes referred to as the "Heavenly Court," due to the fact that they administer the work of the King, God. That is to say, just as a King makes the plans but his court discharges them, so too God makes the plans and His angels discharge them.

This is the meaning of the Midrash which says, "No blade of grass grows without an angel telling it to 'Grow!'" This teaches us that everything on earth has a spiritual counterpart that influences it. Even a blade of grass has an angel looking over it to make sure it receives nourishment, or causes it to die at its appointed time. Nations also have angels appointed over them. For example, the Torah recounts the famous story of Jacob fighting with Samael, the angel of Esav. (see Genesis 32:5, Midrash - Genesis Rabba 10:6, and "The Way of God" 2:5:3)

Each angel has only one particular task to fulfill. The most well-known angels are:

• Micha'el - (literally: "Who is like God") carries out God's missions of kindness. He accompanies a person on the right side, since "right" is always associated with kindness.

• Gavriel - "My strength is God" - is on the left side, which is always associated with the attributes of strength and judgment.

• Uriel - "My light is God" - goes in front of a person, as if illuminating the proper path to go.

• Raphael - "My healer is God" - protects a person from harm, and goes behind a person to "cover the backside."

Interestingly, we find three of these angels visiting Abraham in Genesis 18:2. Micha'el (kindness) had come to bring Sarah the good news of her pregnancy, Gavriel (judgment) came to overthrow Sodom, and Raphael (healing) came to heal Abraham following his circumcision. The angels such as those who spoke to Abraham were purely spiritual forces which appeared in human form.

Due to their unique nature, it is impossible to communicate with angels, although there have been stories of great Sages who were able to do so.

It is certainly forbidden to pray to angels. Not only forbidden, but it would be a waste of time since angels can only do what God tells them to do anyway!

However, God always has an attentive ear to his children, and He is waiting for your prayers. One good place to start is by reading the "Bedtime Shema," which includes a beautiful prayer about the four protecting angels that we mentioned above.

When you perform a mitzvah, you create an angel that accompanies you. The commandments which create that attachment are the true "guardian angels" of a person.

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Tishrei 19

Killing Insects

I have noticed a large increase in the number of insects and other unwanted creatures in my house. Without thinking I automatically squash and kill them. I'm not sure if swatting a fly is the same as cruelly hunting a deer for sport, but there is a small concern that I am destroying one of God's creatures.

My questions are: What is the purpose of these insects and small creatures? Even though I do this painlessly, am I permitted to kill them?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The great 16th century Kabbalist the Arizal stated that it is spiritually insensitive to kill even an ant for no reason.

However, let me ask you a question: Suppose you are a doctor, lying in bed at 3 a.m. and a mosquito is dive-bombing you so you can't sleep. You have an important surgery the next day, trying to save the life of a little girl. If you don’t get a good night's sleep, the likelihood of your being successful in the surgery is reduced. Can you kill the mosquito?

Of course! God made this world and everything in it for the benefit of mankind – both to use, and to protect. That's why it is permitted for us to eat cows – yet at the same time we have to protect species from extinction.

The bottom line: You can kill an animal if it serves a human purpose.

Of course, if it is just as easy to remove the insect from your house without killing it, that would be preferable. But if it will take time away from more important activities, then it is not worth it.

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Tishrei 20

Get Document - Importance of

I am in the process of divorcing my husband, and my rabbi tells me that it is sufficient to go through the civil divorce proceedings. But other of my friends have also done the Jewish ”Get” document. Which is correct?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Although divorce is common in today’s social landscape – over half of all marriages will end in divorce – it is still a heartbreaking way to end a marriage.

Unlike some religions, however, which do not permit divorce, Judaism recognizes the necessity under certain circumstances. Indeed, following the proper procedure for divorce is one of the 613 mitzvahs in the Torah.

What is the method of a Jewish divorce?

Just as marriage is a metaphysical reality – two souls fusing together to create one complete soul – so too divorce is a metaphysical reality. For a Jewish couple to become divorced, the man must give the woman a document called a "Get," as prescribed in the Torah (Deut. 24:1-4). A Get terminates the Jewish marriage and certifies that the couple is now free to remarry according to Jewish law.

Aside from the legal considerations, a Get can provide a sense of emotional closure – just as the marriage began with a Jewish ceremony, it ends with one as well.

Without a proper Get, even though the man and woman have physically separated, they are still metaphysically bound together – and considered as if fully married. This is true to the extent that if a woman were to become “remarried” without having received a proper Get, the second marriage is null and void, and is considered adultery.

A secular divorce does not count for a Get.

When getting divorced, a Get is not only the right thing to do, it is the wise thing to do. Regardless of one's personal convictions or beliefs, it solves a lot of problems down the line – ensuring free social interaction within the Jewish community.

For example, someone who is divorced for many years and then wants to remarry, cannot do so without a Get. If it wasn’t take care of the first time, they would now have to track down the "ex," wherever s/he is, and ask for their cooperation in the process of a Get. Imagine the possible heartache and complications. Any responsible rabbi will refuse to officiate at a wedding unless both the man and woman show proof that any prior marriage was properly terminated according to Jewish law.

Furthermore, if the divorce is not performed properly, there is a danger to future generations: If a child is born to a mother who is still technically married to someone else, that child may be considered illegitimate (mamzer). Such a child may be barred from marrying into the broader Jewish community, possibly depriving them of the opportunity to marry the individual of their choice. A very powerful novel, Yesterday's Child (CIS Publishers), deals with this issue.

As such, attaining a proper Get is an important component of preserving Jewish unity.

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Tishrei 21

Apology Guidelines

If a person has done something to wrong another person, and wants to make amends, I know he is supposed to apologize. But in this case the person he wronged doesn't know he has been wronged – and if he were to learn about it, would be deeply hurt. What should be done?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If it will embarrass the person, one should not mention the reason for the apology. He should just apologize generally for any wrong he may have done to him. (source: Mishnah Berurah 606:30)

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Tishrei 22

Sons of God – Bnei Elohim

The start of Genesis 6 states that the sons of God took wives from the daughters of men and had giant children. Who are these sons of God – angels? Does this agree with the Christian notion of rebellious, fallen angels?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for your very important question. The term the Torah actually uses in Genesis 6 is B’nei Elohim. “Elohim” literally means “powerful ones.” It is often used in the Torah to refer to God, but it is also used in reference to powerful people or to judges, such as in Exodus 4:16, 7:1, 21:6, and 22:8. Likewise, when referring to God, the term emphasizes His power and justice.

Based on this, most of the commentators to the Torah actually understand the verses not to be referring to supernatural beings such as angels, but to the judges and noblemen, the people of power. Their “privileged” sons would forcibly take whomever they wanted as wives. (The “daughters of man” can be understood to mean the lower classes, see for example Psalms 49:3.)

Their wicked behavior was thus symptomatic of the ills of the antediluvian world. The very leaders who should have been upholding the law and setting an example for society became part of the problem – exercising their power to take advantage of the weak and the underprivileged. (See Bereishit Rabbah 26:8, Targum Onkelos, Targum Yonatan, Rashi 1st explanation, Ibn Ezra 1, Radak, Ramban, R. Bechaye, Chizkuni.)

In a similar vein, many of the commentators understand B’nei Elohim as referring to the descendants of Seth, or to the primary descendants of Seth. They were “sons of God” in that they more godly and spiritual than the descendants of Cain. (Compare to Deuteronomy 14:1 “You [Israel] are children to the Lord your God.”) Being more spiritual (at the start), they were also physically superior to the commoners and lived much longer. They thus begat a race of supermen. Thus, the intent of these verses is likewise that the supposedly more religious segment of society stooped to forcibly taking the women of their liking. (See Ibn Ezra 2, Ramban, R. S. R. Hirsch.)

At the same time, there is an opinion in the Midrash that the verses are referring to literal angels – who descended from Heaven, took mortal wives, and begot a race of giants (Pirkei d’Rabbi Eliezer 22 (p. 50b), alternate explanation in Rashi and Ramban. See also Talmud Yoma 67b.)

This raises an important question. Aren’t angels merely messengers of God? Can they actually rebel? Doesn’t this seem to lend credence to the Christian notion that Satan is a rebellious angel?

There is an important piece in the Midrash which sheds light on this issue (Midrash Aggadat Bereishit intro., brought in ArtScroll Bereishit I, p. 181, footnote 1). It states that when God decided to blot out man with the Flood, two angels, Uzza and Azael, emphatically agreed, saying “What is man that that You recall him, the son of man that You think of him” (Psalms 8:5). They in effect stated that there had been no point creating lowly man to begin with.

The Midrash continues that God responded to them (paraphrased), “If you lived on earth as they and saw the beauty of their women, you would be no better!”

To which they responded, “We will descend and not sin.” They took the challenge – and failed. In fact, the Midrash states that they immediately saw the test was too much for them and begged God to allow them to return to Heaven. But He refused, saying that they were already defiled and would now be banished forever.

Based on this, we can understand how this episode does not contradict Judaism’s understanding of the angels. Angels in Heaven are merely messengers of God; there is no possibility of their rebelling against Him. However, when they assume physical form they become human and prone to sin. In fact, in this case, they descended to earth specifically in order to become physical and to try their hands at human challenges.

As my teacher Rabbi Yaakov Weinberg OBM once pointed out, we do likewise occasionally find the Sages making reference to angels sinning or misstepping – and it is consistently when they assumed physical form – as they sometimes do to fulfill missions on earth. See e.g. Rashi to Genesis 19:22 regarding the angels sent to overturn Sodom. (Note that angels very rarely do assume physical form, even when fulfilling missions for God on earth.)

Thus once again, although the more generally accepted understanding of this episode is that it was describing the sins of mankind, there is a Midrashic opinion which takes the story more literally. Even so, the only implication is that angels in human form can come to sin, not the angels in Heaven.

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Tishrei 23

Intentional Mistakes

I've been enjoying the philosophy articles on Aish.com. The approach to life resonates with me much more than the Western style of consumerism and media hype. Regarding the obligatory nature of mitzvot, however, I think sometimes humans have to disregard the boundary and be disobedient against the command. It might be painful, but I believe you come away with a higher appreciation that God and His commands are ultimately correct. Do you agree with this thinking?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You have touched on a deep truth, but ultimately your principle is mistaken. The Talmud states: "In a place where a reformed sinner stands, even a righteous tzaddik does not stand." The idea is that after having erred, you can analyze your negative acts, learn from them, and use that knowledge as a foundation to motivate you further.

While all this seems to imply that it is better to make mistakes and then correct them, rather than never have made the mistake in the first place, that is not true.

Let's take the mundane example of the rule: "Always look both ways before crossing the street." There are two ways to learn this lesson: 1) Listen to the advice of teachers and parents to look both ways before crossing, or 2) cross recklessly, get hit by a car, and then while lying in the hospital acknowledge a lesson well-learned.

The problem in choosing the second path is that there is always a residual effect from our mistakes. A teenager who experiments with drugs may grow up to realize the dangers, but a lot of brain cells have been killed in the meantime.

There is one other danger: That the person will never correct their mistake. The child who recklessly crossed the street may be killed in the process, or the teenager who experiments with drugs may wind up in an advanced stage of addiction.

We human beings like to basically think of ourselves as independent. We have a built-in resistance to authority, and have a difficult time acknowledging that we need someone else's information.

The great kabbalist the Arizal explains that was the mistake of Adam and Eve - and look how much it cost us. In the Garden of Eden, the Snake argued that by eating from the forbidden fruit they would taste the flavor of evil, reject it, and then achieve a new level of holiness!

Nobody builds a skyscraper without expert advice and a plan. But "life" is much more complicated than constructing a building or performing surgery. You'd never dream of using trial and error in the operating room. So why do so with your personal life?

Many people would rather make their own mistakes, than learn from those who have already made them. We think we can learn everything by ourselves. We imagine we can get married, raise children, and live a meaningful life - "figuring it all out" as we go along!

Life is too short for this. We're bound to make mistakes; why add those we could otherwise prevent? Instead, Judaism teaches us to seek out people who truly possess wisdom. Hang around them, and bring a whole list of questions to ask them at every possible opportunity. On the wisdom scale, you can achieve in a few years what might otherwise take a lifetime.

The Talmud says that we are to give particular honor to two types of people: an elderly person, and a Torah scholar. What they both have in common is wisdom. The elderly person by virtue of life experience, and the Torah scholar by having absorbed the deep wisdom contained in Torah books. Note that they have both attained wisdom, but the Torah scholar can do so in a fraction of the time - and without suffering the many bumps and bruises along the way.

As the saying goes: "A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

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Tishrei 24

Disposing of the Four Species

The Sukkot holiday is finished. We've taken down the Sukkah and put away the boards, but we're not sure what to do with the lulav and esrog that we used throughout the holiday. It doesn't seem right to just throw it into the trash. My son suggested putting it into the Geniza box where we put old Torah books. What do you suggest?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Lulav and the other species should not be placed into Geniza. On the other hand, since they were used for a mitzvah, they also cannot be thrown into the trash. Therefore you can hold onto them until Passover, and then burn them together with your chometz which you will also burn. In this way you are “using one mitzvah for another.”

Alternatively, you can dispose of the four species by placing them in a bag, and then disposing them in the trash. Since they are wrapped separately, it is considered as if they are not with the other trash.

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Tishrei 25

Punishing a Child

I have a child-rearing question. We found some coloring on the wall. We suspected our 4-year-old, and asked him if he did it. He denied it. We are not positive he did it, but he has a guilty look and it is very unlikely that another child did it.

What do we say to him? Do we just forget about it? Do we try to convince him to tell the truth? Do we punish him even though we are not 100% sure? What should we do?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Your question touches on fundamental concepts of child-raising that will affect your child for a lifetime, and I commend you for taking this seriously enough to write.

The bottom line? You must not punish him unless you are 100% certain he did it.

The best thing to do is to ask the child to help clean up the walls. Do not accuse or punish. Asking for his admission isn't productive since his goal is only to escape from punishment.

After the fact, you should simply say, "We love you even if you color on walls – but it's important to tell the truth." And leave it at that.

The idea here is to help the child develop an appreciation for telling the truth that will last a lifetime. Not to necessarily get him to tell the truth regarding one incident of coloring on the wall.

Don't worry – even though you may lose this "battle," you are more likely to win the war.

In other words, teaching him to tell the truth does not have to be done specifically right now over this event. The lesson can be taught in a series of follow-up stories over the next few weeks. Use the straw man technique to develop a main character who gets into a similar situation as your son – e.g. “Once upon a time there was a boy called Mikey...”

The "plot" of each story is, naturally, that the boy lied because he was afraid – and then he told the truth and everyone was so proud of him! Also, he did not get punished for what he did, because he told the truth and said he was sorry. If the "crime" in the story involved damages of some kind – e.g. coloring on the wall – you should add in the story how he cleaned it.

The next time something like this happens with your son, remind him of the boy called Mikey who told the truth, cleaned the wall, and did not get punished.

Ask him if he wants to be like Mikey.

Tell him that if he tells the truth, then he only will have to 1) wash off the wall, and 2) say he is sorry.

If he tells the truth, then make a big deal about it – e.g. let him hear you tell the grandparents on the phone how wonderful he is, etc.

All of the above holds true in the event that you are not certain if he did it.

If you are 100% certain that he did it, then do not ask him if he did it. Just state matter-of-factly that you know that he did it, ignore any denials and get straight to the point. He must:

1) Say he's sorry

2) Clean off the wall

3) Possible punishment

Of course, point out to him that item #3 – punishment – only comes when we deny it.

And finally, one word of practical advice: Any house with young children should have washable walls!

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Tishrei 26

Suffering: Why?

I have had a very difficult life, beset by illness, unemployment, and disappointment from those who had pledged to care for me. I am having trouble seeing the benevolent God in all this. What do you say, rabbi?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I am very sorry to hear about the difficult times that you have had to endure. The trials that you have gone through no doubt have obviously made your relationship to God a difficult one. I can understand why.

As a rabbi, I have witnessed the most horrendous situations imaginable. I have experienced a 20-year-old who lost both of her parents in a car crash. Can you imagine a girl so close to her parents and in one day they're gone? I've lived through a husband coming home to find that his wife has collapsed, and in two days she's dead. There was nothing wrong with her before. And on and on and on.

When someone is in the midst of suffering, that's not the time to offer answers. It's a time to listen and empathize and be with the person as best you can. If there's anyone going through a painful time and is looking for a sense of relief, I am skeptical whether these intellectual answers will offer any kind of relief.

Dealing with pain and suffering is never easy, particularly since we often feel so helpless and out of control. But one thing we do have control over and that is our attitude. Try to stick to this 3-part formula:

1) Look for the positive side to things.

2) Try not to judge God, Who knows more than we do.

3) Ask God for the clarity to understand how this is for the best.

Our perceptions of good and evil are directly related to our understanding of the world. An African tribesman who never saw a hypodermic syringe in his life could think upon seeing a doctor inoculate a child that the doctor was actually trying to hurt the child! Our perceptions change with information.

Therefore the Jewish approach to "suffering" is that everything happens for the good, but since we are finite and cannot see the whole picture, we perceive some things as bad.

God has more information than we do; thus we cannot judge Him and say He is doing something bad. We trust God and say, "I haven't yet figured out why, but God knows this is for the best."

The Talmud tells the story of Rebbe Akiva who was traveling on the road late one night. His only source of light, a candle, blew out; his mode of transportation, a donkey, ran away; and his only source of food, a chicken, died. The next morning Rebbe Akiva realized that armed bandits had plundered everything in the area. Had they seen his candle, or heard his chicken or donkey, they would have victimized him as well.

We can accept pain and suffering in the world by trying to see what positive side it may have. For example, a woman whose child was killed by a drunk driver went out and started MADD - Mothers Against Drunk Driving. This organization was responsible for revolutionizing the laws against drunk driving in America, and as a result has surely saved thousands of lives. It could be said that the purpose of this child was to elevate his mother to the towering heights of greatness that she indeed achieved as a result of the tragedy.

Of course it is not always easy to find the positive side. But even the attempt helps tremendously. It is interesting that if we look back on our own lives, the times we have grown the most are not when things have gone easy, but when they've been difficult. So many times what appears as "bad" or "negative" ends up being a blessing. A person could lose their job, for example, only to realize later that was the opportunity they needed to break into a growing, new field!

In the meanwhile, we have invested so much time and energy into worrying or regretting - all for nothing and all to our detriment. It is wise to remember that worry is defined as "interest paid in advance on a debt which often times never comes due." So when we are having problems, we can ask ourselves, "What have I learned or gained?"

Also, there are two excellent books I can recommend: "Why me, God?" by Lisa Aiken (published by Aaronson), and "Confronting the Loss of a Baby," by Yamin Levy (Ktav).

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Tishrei 27

“Let Us Make Man”

In the creation account in Genesis, God says, “Let us make man in our image” (1:26). Who is God speaking to? Doesn’t this verse imply that man had more than one Creator – that God created man with the help of someone else? I was recently speaking with a Christian friend who used this passage to support the idea of the Trinity, and I really didn’t know how to respond. Is there an alternate way the verse can be understood?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for your very important question. There are several approaches to understanding that verse. But even before I quote them, it’s significant to look ahead at the very next verse – which states, “And God created man in His image.” In actuality, a single God created man, without outside help. It is thus clear that whoever God was addressing in the previous verse did not assist Him in man’s creation. As the Talmud puts it, “Wherever the heretics misinterpreted, their refutation can be found right next to it” (Sanhedrin 38b).

Being that only a single God created man, whom was He addressing when He said “Let us make man?” And what purpose did addressing him (or them) serve? The commentators offer three approaches.

(1) God was talking to the angels and taking counsel from them, asking for their input. Why did an infinite God require anyone else’s advice? The commentator Rashi explains based on the Midrash that it was an act of humility. Since man in some ways resembles the angels, they might feel jealous that such a lofty creature resides upon Earth. God thus took their opinion into account and conferred with them beforehand. As Rashi continues, this teaches an important lesson in humility – that the superior should always seek the advice of his underlings before making a decision which impacts upon them (Midrash Genesis Rabbah 8:7, Rashi, Targum Yonatan).

(2) God was addressing the earth – instructing it to bring forth man's body. “Let us” implies that both God and the earth would create man – the earth would produce man's body (in a process obviously controlled by God), and God would directly breathe in man's soul (Nachmanides).

(3) God was addressing all of creation, asking each part to contribute its various strengths and qualities to man's creation – for man is the pinnacle of God's creation and contains the elements of everything within him (Vilna Gaon).

There is a beautiful ethical lesson contained in this. When God dictated the Torah to Moses, there were two ways He could have stated the verse: “Let Me make man” or “Let us make man.” The first version would have made it clearer there is a single God, while the second conveyed a lesson in humility – as we stated above that the superior should take the opinions of his servants seriously. God opted to do the second. And as we’ll see, this wasn’t just a matter of caring more about ethics than theology.

In fact, ethical behavior is a far greater guarantee that a person will be a believing soul than theology. If the Torah trains us to be moral human beings, we will be much more conditioned and willing to accept God and His Torah – even if there are always various nitpicky verses which are difficult to interpret. If, however, we are not ethical human beings, we will always look for a way out no matter how carefully the Torah attempts to spell out Jewish philosophy for us. Thus, in “Let us make man,” God opted to focus on ethics. If we are good human beings, there is hope we will live up to the Torah and its ideals (Sifsei Chaim. Mo’adim I pp. 185-6).

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Tishrei 28

Halloween - Trick or Treat?

One of my fondest memories growing up was taking my little orange UNICEF box and collecting pennies - as well as yummy treats - on Halloween. It was also a great day for acting rowdy and causing a little trouble around the neighborhood.

Now that I have my own kids, I'm wondering - what is the Jewish position on Halloween?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Halloween has its roots in paganism, and was later adopted by Christians as All-Saints Day. (see Halloween history at: http://www.holidays.net/halloween/story.htm) Today, of course, the decorations and dressing up for Halloween in the U.S. is an innocuous secular holiday.

As for participating in such celebrations, one should not feel the need to “add” holidays to the existing Jewish calendar. Halloween is further problematic because of its pagan origins. There are those who are more lenient regarding Thanksgiving. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein sees room to permit it on occasion, without declaring it as a regular holiday or observing steady customs like eating a special meal of turkey ("Igrot Moshe" Y.D. 4:11-12).

I once heard a representative of the Jewish community being interviewed on the radio on the topic of Purim. "What is the significance of the Purim holiday?" asked the radio host. Explained the Jew: "Just as the Irish have a springtime drinking holiday called St. Patrick's Day, so too the Sages instituted Judaism's own springtime drinking holiday called Purim."

Absurd.

In truth, Purim is the Jewish costume day! Which reminds me of a wonderful story:

A man moved from the U.S. to Israel, and for some reason, in the middle of March, trick-or-treaters of every shape and size were buzzing around the streets of Jerusalem. Many of the costumes were incredible, and even some adults were dressed up.

When the doorbell rang, this man panicked. He didn't have a drop of candy in the house to give out. Who knew what tricks this crowd was capable of playing if he turned them away without a treat. Remember: "Trick or treat - double treat to smell my feet!" And what a nightmare the morning after could be, cleaning up the damage done by kids I that hadn't been "treated" well enough.

He opened the door, and standing there, grinning from ear-to-ear, were five costumed pre-teens, each holding a fancier stash of goodies than he'd ever imagined.

"I'm really sorry, guys," he started to say. "I just don't have anything to give you. I didn't know today was Halloween, please don't vandalize my house." The kids gave each other a puzzled look and began to giggle.

Finally the biggest boy quieted the others and said, "Mister, I don't think you understand. We didn't come to take anything from you. We came here to give you something." And with that, each of them handed him a beautifully wrapped gift baskets.

"Today is Purim," said a boy in a gorilla suit. "These are 'shalach manos' baskets. We all go around today and bring gifts of food to our friends and neighbors. Happy Purim!" With that, they turned and left. Empty-handed and happy.

Think about it. In Jewish consciousness, the real “trick” for having joy in life is not to take... but to give.

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Tishrei 29

Noah's Ark

There are obviously many ways by which God could have saved Noah. Why did Noah have to bother building an ark? And why did it take him 120 years?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

We have to appreciate that this was no ordinary boat. It measured 300-by-50 cubits, was bigger than a football field and contained over a million cubic feet of space! It was outfitted with three separate levels: The top for Noah and his family, the middle for the animals, and the bottom for the garbage. (Which by the way, shows the Torah's unique concern for the environment. Even while the world was being destroyed, they wouldn't throw the garbage overboard.) God accentuated the oddity of it all by having Noah construct this huge boat – not at the sea shore – but on a mountaintop!

The Midrash Tanchuma says that God specifically wanted Noah to undertake a strange and unusual project, so that people would be curious and ask: "Noah – what are you doing??" This way Noah could engage them in discussion about the problems facing the world, and explain how catastrophe could be avoided – if people would only change their ways.

Well, 120 years is a long time, and you would think that Noah would have convinced a lot of people to get back on track. But alas, Noah failed to turn anyone around. Instead he saw the Ark as his chance to build a big wall and insulate himself from the evils of society. Noah imagined that the Ark was his own ticket to survival, and completely abandoned his mission to influence others.

In one sense it is true that we have to protect ourselves and our families. Maimonides warns us about the danger of living next to neighbors who don't share our system of values. Where there's corruption, the good frequently get swept up with the bad.

But there's a second side to this as well. The "Ark" cannot be completely insulated; it must be porous as well. We have to reach out and try to make a difference in the world. And if we aren't on the level to do so for the sake of others, then at least we should do so for ourselves. Because the reality is that no matter how hard we try, some "bad" does seep in. And if we don't do something to help fix it – in the end it will get us as well.

Ignoring this reality was Noah's tragic mistake. He believed that he could lock himself inside the Ark, and escape from it all.

After the Flood ended, Noah emerged with his family onto dry land: "Noah, the man of the earth, debased himself and planted a vineyard. He became drunk and uncovered himself in his tent..." (Genesis 9:20-22)

When Noah emerged from the Ark and saw the devastation the world had endured, he was depressed and disappointed. Because he knew deep down that he had selfishly stood by and watched it all happen. So he got drunk.

Noah's failure to try and influence his generation is why the Flood is called "the waters of Noah" (Isaiah 54:9). In one sense he bore responsibility for the Flood. This teaches us a crucial life lesson: Don't think that society's problems aren't affecting you. Because they are. And we are each responsible to fix them.

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Tishrei 30

Misquoting the Talmud

I recently stumbled on an anti-Semitic website and they had a whole list of Talmud sayings that sound very non-PC. One example was: "It is permitted to marry a 3-year-old girl," which they said means that Judaism condones sexual abuse of a young child. Another example was: "The best of the Gentiles, kill." Does the Talmud really say this stuff?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Misquoting Talmudic texts or taking them out of context is an age-old method used to incite anti-Semitism.

In the example that you cite, that a Jew may marry a 3-year-old girl, it simply means that under the age of 3, a "marriage" contract has no validity. Beyond that, any "marriage arrangement" made at above the age of 3 must be accepted and validated by the girl herself at such time that she attains maturity. The Talmud is discussing a technical legal point, not condoning abhorrent sexual activities.

As for: "The best of the gentiles, kill," the context here is very crucial. The question was raised, how could there be any horses chasing after the Jews with chariots (in Exodus 14:7), when they were all killed in the plague of hail (Exodus 9:19). The Midrash (Tanchuma – Beshalach 8) answers that the horses were owned by those who heeded God's warnings and locked his animals indoors (Exodus 9:20).

The Midrash concludes that these God-fearing Egyptians -- the best Egyptians – turned out to be the ones that gave their horses to chase the Jewish people. In other words, in this particular instance, even the best Egyptians turned out to be oppressors, too. Yet even they – "the best of the gentiles" – were deserving of death.

The Torah states unequivocally that ALL men were created in the image of God (Genesis chapter 1). In fact, the Talmud emphasizes that Adam was created from the dust of all four corners of the earth (so to speak), so that no one nation could claim superiority. And of course, it is forbidden for a Jew to kill a Gentile. (source: Talmud Sanhedrin 57a; "Taz" Y.D. 158:1).

So you see, one can change the meaning of anything by taking it out of context. And better not to waste time refuting these points one by one. God's Torah is morally perfect, and if something ever sounds otherwise, it is because it is not understood properly.

Click here for a full treatment of this topic.

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Cheshvan 1

Who is a Jew?

I have always been under the assumption that being Jewish meant being of the Jewish faith, and/or being of the Jewish race. Please let me know if this is correct.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

"Being Jewish" is a technical status that requires citizenship in the Jewish nation, like being a U.S. citizen. Citizenship acquired in one of two ways:

(1) Born Jew: Jewishness is passed on via the mother. If the mother is Jewish, the child is 100% Jewish. If only the father is Jewish (but not the mother), then the child is 100% not Jewish. Jewish identity passed on through the mother has been universally accepted by Jews for 3,300 years, and was decided by God, as recorded in the Five Books of Moses in Deut. 7:3-4. The Talmud (Kiddushin 68b) explains how this law is evident from those passages.

According to Jewish law, this will remain the person's status forever. There is no way one can lose his status as a Jew even if he does not formally practice Judaism, and even if he has gone so far as to convert to another religion.

(2) Conversion: If a non-Jew wants to become a Jew he can do so by converting. Because of this, Judaism is clearly not a "blood-race." There are Chinese Jews, African Jews, Eskimo Jews, etc.

Once a non-Jew converts, he becomes a Jew in every regard, and his relationship with God is on the same level as any Jew.

According to the Code of Jewish Law, there are three requirements for conversion to Judaism:

1) He must believe in God and the divinity of the Torah as well as accept upon himself to keep the commandments in the Torah.

2) If male, he must undergo circumcision by a qualified "Mohel." If he was already circumcised by a doctor, then he undergoes a ritual called "hatafas dam".

3) He must immerse in the Mikveh – a ritual bath linked to a reservoir of rain water.

All of the above have to be done before a court of three Jewish men who keep the commandments, and believe in God and the divinity of the Torah.

These are the rules that Jews have followed since time immemorial. Historically, any attempt to introduce new rules has created a tragic schism in our people. We hope and pray that Jewish groups today who are pursuing this path will realize the serious damage this can cause to the ideal of Jewish unity which we all sincerely seek.

ps:I don't buy #1

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Cheshvan 2

Seven Laws of Noah

I love the Jewish people and have enjoyed reading the many spiritual thoughts on your website. I want to draw closer to God, but from what I’ve read it is a very big commitment to convert. I don’t think I am up for this at this stage in my life. Is there some way to tap into the Torah wisdom without being part of the Jewish people?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for your inspiring words.

A person does not need to become Jewish to reach high spiritual levels, establish a relationship with God, and earn a reward in the world to come. Enoch "walked with God" and Noah had quite a high level of relationship, though neither were Jewish. Our tradition is that all of the 70 nations must function together and play an integral part in that "being" called humanity.

The Torah presents seven mitzvot for non-Jews to observe. These seven laws are the pillars of human civilization, and are named the "Seven Laws of Noah," since all humans are descended from Noah. Alas, many have forgotten these in the passage of time. Perhaps the best that we can do is to encourage all peoples to keep these and then it would indeed become a very different world. As explained in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 58b), they are:

1) Do not murder.

2) Do not steal.

3) Do not worship false gods.

4) Do not be sexually immoral.

5) Do not eat the limb removed from a live animal.

6) Do not curse God.

7) Set up courts and bring offenders to justice.

Maimonides explains that any human being who faithfully observes these laws earns a proper place in heaven. So you see, the Torah is for all humanity, no conversion necessary.

As well, when King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, he specifically asked God to heed the prayer of non-Jews who come to the Temple (1-Kings 8:41-43). The Temple was the universal center of spirituality, which the prophet Isaiah referred to as a "house for all nations." Non-Jews were welcome to bring offerings to the Temple as well. In fact, the service in the Holy Temple during the week of Sukkot featured a total of 70 bull offerings, corresponding to each of the 70 nations of the world. In fact, the Talmud says that if the Romans would have realized how much they were benefiting from the Temple, they never would have destroyed it!

Today, there are many active groups of non-Jews called "Bnei Noach" who faithfully observe the Seven Laws of Noah. Here are some websites (though I cannot vouch for their authenticity):

www.wikinoah.org

www.noahidenations.com

www.noachide.org.uk

www.1stcovenant.org

There are two excellent books on the topic:

"Path of the Righteous Gentile" by Chaim Clorfene and Yakov Rogalsky

"Seven Colors of the Rainbow" by Rabbi Yirmeyahu Bindman

You will also enjoy this interview with someone who faithfully follows the Laws of Noah: www.aish.com/jw/s/80405497.html

May the Almighty grant you blessings and success in your spiritual search.

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Cheshvan 3

Land for Peace?

Is it permitted to disengage from areas of the West Bank, which constitutes the biblical heartland of Israel? Through news reports, I am able to keep up with what seem to be very frightening developments that world powers are trying to impose on our beloved Land of Israel. You at Aish, however, are literally on the frontline. What is your perspective on the situation: refugees, united Jerusalem, borders, etc.? I am anxious to hear of your hopes and fears.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Some people publicize the opinion that we have to defend (even with our lives at risk) all of biblical Israel and especially Jerusalem.

However, Rabbi A.Y. Kook, the first Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Israel, writes clearly that we should not endanger our lives because of land. In other words, we can give up land, if it will bring peace – colloquially called "land for peace." ("Mishpat Cohen" 142-144; c.f. "Michtavim U'Mamarim" 1:14 by Rabbi Elazar M. Schach)

The bottom line from a Torah standpoint is whether a particular political act -- in this case, giving up land -- will preserve the safety of Jewish lives, or endanger Jewish lives.

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef stated: "If the heads and commanders of the army, together with the government, state that saving of life is involved; that if areas of Israel are not given back, the danger exists of immediate war on the part of our Arab neighbors; and if the areas are returned to them, the danger of war will be averted; and that there is a chance of permanent peace; then it seems that according to all opinions it is permitted to return areas of Israel in order to achieve this aim, since nothing is more important than the saving of life."

In setting diplomatic policy, one general principle is that we should not do anything that will cause a severe backlash from the nations of the world. (Talmud – Ketubot 111a)

One possible solution to the crisis is to ensure that Arabs are educated in the ways of democracy, so they will see the benefit of upholding any agreements, and will protest against elements in their society that seek an all-or-nothing solution.

An additional factor needs to be considered: Holy sites like the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron and the Temple Mount in Jerusalem are our deepest roots. Cutting off the Jewish people from those places may likely have an adverse affect in terms of both morale and spiritual strength.

Certainly in terms of preserving access to the holy sites for all people, it would be best to keep them under Israeli control.

What will the political leaders decide? King Solomon wrote, "Like streams of water is the heart of a king in the hand of the Almighty. Wherever He wishes, so He directs it." (Proverbs 21:1)

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Cheshvan 4

Workaholic

I own a business which takes most of my time. As a matter of fact, I don't have any time left over for my wife and kids or anything else. My wife and kids are the most important people in my life, I just want to be the best husband and father I can possibly be.

But I feel that something is missing. When I attend synagogue, I find myself reading the prayers or the Torah portion without any emotions, almost as if it was just a book. Do you have any suggestions how to make my life more real and more meaningful?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Your letter reminds me of a story:

Mr. Schwartz is an investment banker in a major Wall Street investment firm. He's spending most of his days trying to reach his lifelong goal: to earn $25 million. He and his wife have three kids.

One day, a wealthy philanthropist named Cohen, who unfortunately has no children, comes to pay Schwartz a visit. He says, "Your kids are growing up without a father. You're off to work before they get up, and home long after they've gone to sleep. On weekends, you're at the club entertaining clients from out of town. A child needs a father. I'll give you the biggest shortcut of your financial career. You're spending your whole life to make $25 million dollars, right? I'll write you a check right now for that amount. All you have to do is give me one of your children to adopt."

Now, what does Schwartz the banker say to this generous offer?

$25 million dollars gets his attention. But even he realizes that there are things in life that you can't put a price tag on. He stares Cohen right between the eyes and announces: "No deal."

Now imagine the scene. Schwartz has just shut the door on $25 million dollars. He drives home, walks inside and sees his three kids playing on the living room floor. What do you think he does when he sees them?

He rushes over, and with tears in his eyes, gives each of them a big hug and a kiss. "You darling creatures are worth more than all the money in the universe!"

Then he says to himself, "Where have I been all their lives? I have something at home that's worth more to me than all the money in the world and I'm lucky if I spend an hour a week with them."

So what does Schwartz do? He calls the office, announces he's taking a two-week vacation, sends the maids, nannies and babysitters away. He's going to spend two blissful weeks with his kids.

After struggling for half an hour to get the stroller open, Schwartz makes it to the park. He and the kids are having a grand time. But then comes dinner, bath and story time. After enduring food fights, floods in the bathtub and endless readings of "Babar Goes to the Circus," Schwartz flops down on the couch, turns to his wife and says, "Perhaps I was being a bit hasty in taking that two-week vacation. You know I have a lot of responsibilities at the office..."

Similarly, I hear from your letter how deeply you care for your family. But emotions have to be given a setting to properly express themselves.

You are suffocating emotionally under your workload, to the extent that you do not even have time to spend with your family that you love more than anything.

If you cannot manage to find time for your family, how do you expect to feel anything when you pray?

A person is not a machine, and prayers are not switches that you turn on and off.

You must spend a little time before praying, think about one of your lovely children and how much you care for her/him. Then thank God in your heart for that little smile that you care for so much. Imagine soft, moving music in the background while you think about how grateful you are to God, and how much you would like to get close to Him and connect with Him.

Ask God to bring you close, and He will. But give Him a chance.

You know what our priorities should be. You just sometimes get distracted. So you need to concentrate on connecting your heart to your mind – and acting upon that which you intellectually know to be right.

But if you are always running around taking care of business, it's not going to happen.

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Cheshvan 5

Names of Hebrew Months

How did the Hebrew months get their names? When did the names of the months come about and to whom are they attributed?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If you look in the Bible, you'll see that the Hebrew months don't have names. Rather they have numbers, counting from the month of Nissan, which is described as "the first month" (Exodus 12:2).

In 1-Kings 6:2 the month of Iyar is referred to as the "month of Ziv." The word "ziv" is an adjective and means "radiance." Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov explains that it is called "radiance" because in this month the sun is in full radiance. Similarly, the Jewish people came into full radiance in this month, for they were made ready to receive the Torah during this month.

1-Kings 6:38 refers to the month of Cheshvan as "the month Bul," related to the word "baleh" which means, "withers," and the word "bolelin" which means "mixed." It is described in this fashion since the grass withers in this month, and the grain is mixed for the household livestock. The Radak explains that the word "bul" is related to "yevul" which means produce, since plowing and planting begins in this month.

Other names we use today are Babylonian in origin, adapted by the Jews some time during the Babylonian Exile, circa 400 CE. Ironically, the month of Tammuz is the name of an idol which appeared (via optical illusion) as if it was crying. This was achieved by putting soft lead into its eyes, and by kindling a small fire inside, which would melt the lead. This explains the reference in Ezekiel 8:14: "There were women sitting, causing the Tammuz to cry."

There are other opinions about the name of this month. Rashi says that the name Tammuz is an Aramaic word meaning "heat," since it is a hot summer month.

Another interesting note: Tammuz-17 was the name of the Iraqi nuclear reactor destroyed by Israel in 1981. It was so named because the 17th of Tammuz is the day that Jerusalem was sieged prior to the destruction of the Temple by Nebuchadnezzar, and Saddam Hussein was known to fancy himself as the heir to Nebuchadnezzar's fallen dynasty.

It's not any more unusual than the Western world whose months are connected to pagan practices: March is named after Mars, June is named after Juno, etc. Furthermore, even the days of the week - e.g. Sunday, Monday - are called after "sun" god and the "moon" god. The name Tuesday is connected to the Norse god of war.

Even though the names of the months are linguistically speaking Babylonian, they were adopted by the Jews with the understanding that they were Divinely inspired names, and are laden with kabbalistic nuances. Based on this, the Sages expounded the names of the months - e.g. Elul is an acronym for "ani ledodi vedodi li" (I am to my beloved, and my beloved is to me”), and Nisan is the month of "nissim" (miracles).

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Cheshvan 6

Playing Music on Shabbat

I have a question concerning playing music on Shabbat. My uncle is a wonderful guitar player and singer. He writes many songs and aspires to share his music with the world one day. On a recent Shabbat, we were at a friend's house where many people were singing. I asked him to play, but he declined, saying it was against Jewish law.

I feel this may be stretching the restrictions. For me, I believe that Shabbat is a time to share joy with family and friends. Music is a wonderful way to do this.

I am not seeking to criticize my uncle. I just want to get a better grasp on the concepts, so that I can discuss this point with him in a more educated manner.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I appreciate the sincerity of your question. Of course there are many beautiful aspects of Shabbat -- the candles, the challah, the wine, and the opportunity for family and friends to be together.

Yet these aesthetic elements must not obscure the essence of Shabbat. It is a commemoration of the Creation of the world. Since God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh, in our effort to emulate God we likewise work for six days and rest on the seventh.

The Talmud (Shabbat 73a) describes 39 categories of "creative acts" which we refrain from on Shabbat. These are the 39 powers of creation that exist in the world, corresponding to those acts performed by God (so to speak) in creating the world. Just as God refrained from creative activity on the seventh day, we do likewise. And when we refrain from that which is prohibited on Shabbat, we are, in the truest sense, being God-like.

The job of protecting the Shabbat (as well as other mitzvot) was entrusted to the wisest and most dedicated leaders of the Jewish people, the members of the Sanhedrin. These leaders made certain enactments to protect the uniqueness of the Shabbat experience. One enactment is to not play a musical instrument on Shabbat. This is due to a concern that playing an instrument on Shabbat could lead to fixing an instrument in a way that infringes on one of the 39 types of activity.

If these laws are not respected, then the Shabbat experience is ultimately diminished. And since Shabbat is a cornerstone of Jewish life, this measure was taken to ensure that observance of Shabbat is maintained for all. Further, the enactment was approved and accepted by the entire Jewish nation.

Further, the Sages made no distinction between string and wind instruments. Frequently the Sages will enact a decree that way, because otherwise many people would get confused about what is permitted and what is not.

Music that involves only the body -- e.g. singing and whistling -- are permitted on Shabbat. All instruments are not.

I would like to share with you a story from pre-War Europe:

In the city of Dinov, Rabbi Tzvi Elimelech would sing the Shabbat morning prayers. As he would sing, he would gaze through the window and see the lush green rolling hills, the flowers splashing color against the deep blue sky. All this would move him to sing with great emotion the "Nishmat" prayer:

"If our mouths were filled with song like the sea is full of water, and our tongues as full of joyous song as the sea has waves, and our lips as full of praise as the breadth of the heavens, our eyes as brilliant as the sun and the moon, and our hands as outspread as eagles of the sky, and our feet swift as hinds -- we still could not thank You sufficiently."

Week after week, the non-Jewish shepherds would hear this song wafting over the country plain. They would stop their work to listen attentively, and many would even walk to the synagogue to hear the rabbi sing.

When the rabbi died, the congregation felt a rupture in their hearts. All week long they mourned, but on Shabbat, which is a time for happiness, they tried to restrain themselves. Yet the cantor, when he reached the "Nishmat" prayer, stopped to swallow a tear.

Suddenly, the entire congregation heard the rabbi's melody filling the synagogue! Everyone looked out the window to see the non-Jewish shepherds singing the rabbi's song. (from "Tales of the Chassidic Soul")

Indeed, music is a great part of Shabbat. That's why there is a rich heritage of Jewish melodies which add to the Shabbat atmosphere. Many of these songs are printed in the standard Siddur. So while you may miss your uncle's guitar playing one day a week, remember that he is keeping the Shabbat experience fully alive, as Jews have done, for thousands of years.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 7

Historical Dating: Jewish versus Secular

In learning through your excellent “Crash Course in Jewish History” (www.aish.com/jl/h/cc/), I notice that in referencing some historical dates, the Jewish dating system and the Christian dating system vary by as much as 150 years - but by the time we get to the Roman period (i.e. the Christian year 1) the discrepancy disappears. Why?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Jewish dating system is taken primarily from a book called "Seder Olam Rabba," dating back to the 2nd century CE and attributed to Rabbi Yosef ben Halafta. The sources for the dates in Halafta's book come from rabbinic traditions recorded in the Talmud as well as numerous chronologies written in the Hebrew Bible.

It is also essential to remember that traditional Jewish chronologies (since the beginning of the Jewish calendar almost 6,000 years ago) are based on the highly accurate astronomical phenomenon of the moon orbiting the earth (months) and the earth around the sun (years). This gives traditional Jewish chronology a high degree of accuracy, especially when it comes to the major events of Jewish history.

Actually, the "secular" calendar has experienced many difficulties in trying to properly "align itself with the stars." Back in 46 BCE, the calendar had become hopelessly confused. Julius Caesar was forced to abandon the previous lunar system, replacing it with a tropical year of 365.25 days. Further, to correct the accumulation of previous errors, a total of 90 intercalary days had to be added to 46 BCE, meaning that January 1, 45 BCE, occurred in what would have been the middle of March.

Over the next 1,600 years, the disagreement between the Julian year of 365.25 days and the tropical year of 365.242199 gradually produced significant errors. The discrepancy mounted at a rate of 11 minutes 14 seconds per year - until it reached a full 10 days. In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII proclaimed that 10 days should be skipped in order to bring the calendar back into line. This was accomplished by designating that October 5 become October 15. In other words, the dates October 5-14, 1582 were simply eliminated.

So how do we get the chronology that historians use today?

Historians in the late 19th and early 20th centuries worked backward and pieced it together. This was done primarily through comparing what little historical records survived from ancient Rome, Greece, Mesopotamia and Egypt, together with archaeological finds and radio carbon dating.

Because there are margins of error in all of these methods and much is open to interpretation, significant debates erupted between different scholars which continue to this day. Therefore, the chronologies used by modern historian can best be described as well-educated guesses.

Jewish chronology makes a stronger case for historical accuracy, and that's why we have chosen to use the traditional Jewish dates.

Today there are a number of renowned scholars also challenging the modern chronology and even attempting to reconcile it with the Jewish chronology. Amongst them is British scholar Peter James who writes: "By redating the beginning of the Iron Age in Palestine from the early 12th century BCE to the late 10th, a completely new interpretation of the archaeology of Israel can be offered: One which is in perfect harmony with the biblical record." ("Centuries in Darkness" by Peter James; Rutgers University Press, 1993, p. 318.)

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 8

Candle Lighting Times

I say that Shabbat begins 18 minutes before sundown. My son says it begins after lighting the Shabbat candles. Who is right?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You're both right! (How's that for a diplomatic answer?)

Shabbat starts with candle-lighting, which is traditionally 18 minutes before sunset.

The reason why we light candles a few minutes early is in order to avoid any possibility of starting Shabbat late. Think of it as a train leaving the station. If you're one minute late, you've missed it.

It is, however, permitted to "start Shabbat early." This is simply done by lighting the candles, or through a verbal acceptance of Shabbat.

The earliest time to start Shabbat is an hour-and-a-quarter before sunset. Many communities do this during the summer months, when sunset can be very late -- even 11:00 p.m. in parts of Europe. (And don't even ask me about Alaska!)

Keep in mind that this is not exactly an "hour-and-a-quarter" on your clock. That's because the Jewish day -- from sunrise to sunset -- is divided into 12 equal parts. So no matter how long or short the day is, each twelfth is considered "one hour." It's a bit complicated, so you may want to have a rabbi help you with the math.

By the way, though most communities light Shabbat candles 18 minutes before sunset, local custom may vary. For instance in Jerusalem, the custom is to light 40 minutes before sunset. (see Minchas Yitzhak 9:20; Sefer Eretz Yisrael p. 26; Badei HaShulchan 73:14)

And one more point: While women usually begin Shabbat upon lighting the candles, men usually begin Shabbat as part of the Kabbalat Shabbat synagogue service.

Aish.com has a fantastic online chart that tells you the exact candle-lighting time for your local city. Go to: www.aish.com/sh/c/

Shabbat Shalom!