Woody Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Any ideas on what I could have done in this situation - other than to ignore it which is what I did? While I was standing for the song service in church - the woman standing next to me starting literally weeping. Women's emotions make me very uncomfortable. I had no idea what to do. I am a single man. This was a female single parent. I wanted to do something. But, I also wanted to run away from the scene. Any of you have suggestions on what I 'should' have done instead of looking the other way? Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
Members phkrause Posted January 12, 2013 Members Posted January 12, 2013 Give her a great big hug. Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Woody Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 Give her a great big hug. Yeah - and she might slap me pk. Do you know how dangerous single female emotions are? Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
Members phkrause Posted January 12, 2013 Members Posted January 12, 2013 Well you could ask her first! You could say, I'm sorry and it looks like you could use a hug, would it be OK? Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
cricket Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Just talk with her as pkrause suggested. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help--including finding someone else to help if it's out of your comfort range. Quote
Woody Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 Good Suggestion pk. I could ask her. But then that might just cause her to cry more. Oh good grief - women's emotions. Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
GoLions Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 I was faced with a similar situation. It was at an evangelism series, and a guest (now to think of it,I was a guest as well), started to cry about his wife that had passed. I tried to give a LOOK of comfort and support. But as far as hugging another guy that I didn't know....way out of my comfort zone. Luckily, some women at the table saw it and immediately came and gave him hugs and words of encouragement. I am so thankful that women can reach someone that I have no way of ever coming close to reaching in such a caring way. I felt so inadequate at that time. I often think back at that indecent and wonder how I would handle that situation now. Quote
Administrators Gail Posted January 12, 2013 Administrators Posted January 12, 2013 Woody, you could have at least given her a tissue, provided you hadn't used it first. Pats on backs are fairly safe, aren't they? Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.
Moderators Kevin H Posted January 12, 2013 Moderators Posted January 12, 2013 Woody, you could have at least given her a tissue, provided you hadn't used it first. Pats on backs are fairly safe, aren't they? Working in mental health it is pointed out that hugs can be risky, but they are also leaning that the non-hugs that we have been taught are also harmful so now we may sometimes do a side hug. Anyway I like Gail's advice. Apperently the most theraputic is to have a box and allow them to pull it out, but definetly offering the tissue is a safe and useful way to deal with the issue. Some other things may be an elbow squeeze or hand squeeze or pat on shoulder. Quote
Woody Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Good suggestion about the tissue box. Unfortunately - I've not made it my practice to carry a box to church. Perhaps I should change my ways if it would help me get to know these single females. Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
Moderators Gerr Posted January 13, 2013 Moderators Posted January 13, 2013 Good suggestion about the tissue box. Unfortunately - I've not made it my practice to carry a box to church. Perhaps I should change my ways if it would help me get to know these single females. A hanky will do, unless it's soaked with snot. Quote
Woody Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Thanks for being so graphic Gerry. Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
Administrators Gail Posted January 13, 2013 Administrators Posted January 13, 2013 Thanks for being so graphic Gerry. Yeah, I got a momentary visual in my mind, too But you can get those small, pocket-sized Kleenex packs. I have to carry them with me all the time for allergy-related stuff that I deal with. I also have a juice box on hand in my car. One time someone at church was having a sugar low and it came in handy. A woman's purse also doubles as a medicine cabinet... Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.
M. T. Cross Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 [ A hanky will do, unless it's soaked with snot. I would think taking one like that to church would be poor form..... Quote
Woody Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Quote: A woman's purse also doubles as a medicine cabinet... Proof positive that she can carry her own hanky rather than making me carry it. Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
Administrators Gail Posted January 13, 2013 Administrators Posted January 13, 2013 Sympathetic, neighbourly hankies are special :) Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.
CoAspen Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Good suggestion about the tissue box. Unfortunately - I've not made it my practice to carry a box to church. Perhaps I should change my ways if it would help me get to know these single females. They do have man purses these days!!!! Quote
Administrators Gail Posted January 13, 2013 Administrators Posted January 13, 2013 Quote: They do have man purses these days!!!! Or, as Jerry Seinfeld would say, European carry-alls. Quote Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.
Neil D Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Good suggestion about the tissue box. Unfortunately - I've not made it my practice to carry a box to church. Perhaps I should change my ways if it would help me get to know these single females. Come on, Redwood.... Get in touch with your female side of things.... You ignored an opportunity to talk to a single female simply because she was crying??? Not all crying females direct thier crying at local males. [only those who are known to them and in a safe place]. As you have said, women can be emotional...did you ask her why she was crying?Did you ask her if you could intrude upon her private moment? Did you ask her if you could take her to another place that was more private [in the church]? Did you ask the greeters or a deacon or elder where a female church member was that could deal with this sort of thing? Redwood, as a man, you know that love awakens love....right? Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw
Members phkrause Posted January 13, 2013 Members Posted January 13, 2013 Hey is this the Humor thread? Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Woody Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 I am learning much from this thread. Females are so mysterious to me. I appreciate hearing the voices of experience with them creatures. Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
Neil D Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Hey is this the Humor thread? There are somethings you just can't pass up, PK... I am sorry if Redwood is getting ....er...sensitive over this...I tried not to post anything..but I woke up at 2 am and at that hour, it seemed like the right thing to comment about.... Sorry...I will go over to my corner and sit there quietly.......untill something else leaks out.... Quote Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw
Members phkrause Posted January 14, 2013 Members Posted January 14, 2013 OK Quote phkrause When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan. Proverbs 29;2
Woody Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 Quote: OK Quote May we be one so that the world may be won. Christian from the cradle to the grave I believe in Hematology.
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