Female Emotions

[doug yowell]

Remember my comment on another thread about needing prayer before the second on Woody's other thread?

You have probably suspected by now that I'm just having fun!

Absolutely, but far be it from the rest of us guys to allow you to hoard all the fun for yourself.................................as the women shake their heads and roll their eyes.

[joeb]

I guess I'm really ignorant, but I didn't know there were male and/or female emotions. I thought there were just human emotions. Maybe how, or the frequency with which those emotions are expressed vary between men and women, but all of us have the exact same emotions.

[LifeHiscost]

Give her a great big hug.

Which will, in the eyes of some, bring at the very least a "tsk tsk".

I recall an incident some years ago where I hugged an older

woman to comfort her when she expressed deep sorrow for the death of her closest friend, a friend of mine also. Another very stolid elderly woman forcefully intervened while looking at me with a strong look of disapproval.

One needs best to bear with those in the church who have hearts made of stone. Prayer for these deluded souls is the best answer to their delusional condemnation, no matter how slight that hardness may be revealed. That flinty outlook is not of God although it needs to be respected for the sake of those who can be at a point of vulnerability ti the unsanctified, when deeply wounded.

God blesses!

[LifeHiscost]

All women declare they have a right to change their minds -

and they do. Frequently.

And so do men, except those who believe themselves infallible.

Something to do with, as a leader, not being allowed to be human.

God blesses!

[LifeHiscost]

Men: Pay closer attention.

By the grace of God, 36 years married with arguments as scarce as hen's teeth. Has a lot to do with recognizing God gives her the right to think for herself, just as He allows me the same right. Not to mention we both have as our highest priority the intention to occupy the mansion our Father has prepared for us, with as many of our friends and family as possible.

God blesses!

[Narcah]

Why do women believe its OK to lie and say "Yes" when they mean "No" and "I'm ok" when they're not?

[cricket]

Some women, you mean.

How do you know they believe it's OK? How do you know they are lying? How do you know they believe that those instances of lying are OK?

I can only answer for me: sometimes I say yes, when I'd rather say no, simply because it's a whole lot easier than explaining to someone else why I really would rather say no. Instead, I choose to accept the consequences of saying yes. Because sometimes the consequences of saying yes are easier than the consequences of saying no.

And usually when I say, "I'm ok" it's because I'm ok, but if I'm not really ok and say so, it's because I'd rather not have to explain why I'm not ok--and further explain that the reasons really aren't the other person's business in the first place.

How are you today, Jason?

[cardw]

I don't believe it's a gender issue. I have learned that I need to give up the need to fix stuff. If someone is not feeling well I let them tell me what they need. And I choose if I am willing and/or able to give back to them, if they express a need.

It's simply a principle of everybody taking responsibility for themselves.

I have also learned to let go of the need for everybody to be happy around me. I give people permission to feel what ever they want.

When we assign these very human characteristics to one gender that is sexist. This is simply a fact. I make no judgments about a person who expresses this. And I give people permission to be sexist if they want.

[phkrause]

Why do women believe its OK to lie and say "Yes" when they mean "No" and "I'm ok" when they're not?

I don't think men are any different in that respect.

[Narcah]

I'm a little sleepy, but quite estactic. Thanks for asking!

[cricket]

Oh, you're welcome! Sorry to hear you're a little sleepy. I hope you can catch up on some sleep tonight, or perhaps a cat-nap later on today. Wonder what's keeping you from getting the proper sleep your body needs? Have you been tested for sleep apnea? I hear that people with sleep apnea have a hard time getting the sleep they need. Sometimes they just fall asleep at the drop of a hat!

And ecstatic?! Why, pray tell! What's going on in your life that makes you so ecstatic?

[cricket]

Richard, I respect your stance on this and appreciate it greatly. But, I do wonder--what say you of a person who is truly in need of at least one other human being to take an interest in them so much that the other person would actually seek them out to find out what's wrong, or what they need--without waiting to be told?

[cardw]

Richard, I respect your stance on this and appreciate it greatly. But, I do wonder--what say you of a person who is truly in need of at least one other human being to take an interest in them so much that the other person would actually seek them out to find out what's wrong, or what they need--without waiting to be told?

I rely on my ability to empathize. It is more of an intuition and my history with that person.

I've been around long enough to know when I'm being manipulated and even then I often chose to help anyway. I try to chose the action that is in the best interest of the person requesting help. In most cases personal responsibility is the best path to happiness for the long term. In the short term my goal is to reduce pain.

[cricket]

Originally Posted By: cricket

Richard, I respect your stance on this and appreciate it greatly. But, I do wonder--what say you of a person who is truly in need of at least one other human being to take an interest in them so much that the other person would actually seek them out to find out what's wrong, or what they need--without waiting to be told?

I rely on my ability to empathize. It is more of an intuition and my history with that person.

I've been around long enough to know when I'm being manipulated and even then I often chose to help anyway. I try to chose the action that is in the best interest of the person requesting help. In most cases personal responsibility is the best path to happiness for the long term. In the short term my goal is to reduce pain.

:)

[thx4mercy]

Why do women believe its OK to lie and say "Yes" when they mean "No" and "I'm ok" when they're not?

Not wanting to cause the other person pain can be a reason.

Or knowing that a big hairy discussion will follow if you answer honestly, and you know you won't feel any better when it's over and the other person will feel worse.

Probably much of the time would fall under plain 'ol "poor communication."

[Narcah]

I'm sleepy because I work/play to hard. I usually get enough sleep.

Ecstatic because I just got back from Kauai for my 10th wedding anniversary. I let my wife come with too. Lol.

Got some videos while I was there too: YouTube.com/narcah

[cricket]

Great videos, Jason. Thanks for sharing. It does look like you had a wonderful time. Hope you can get the sleep you need.

[joeb]

Richard, I respect your stance on this and appreciate it greatly. But, I do wonder--what say you of a person who is truly in need of at least one other human being to take an interest in them so much that the other person would actually seek them out to find out what's wrong, or what they need--without waiting to be told?

I'm not Richard, but I would like to answer.

You mean another person being Christ-like enough to actually care? I'd say that I'd have a pretty strong affirmative response to something like that. As to the lonely person involved, well, I'd say everyone is wired with that need, only not alll people are fortunate enough to have those needs met in a world of sin.

[Gail]

Only God can read a heart...

[joeb]

Only God can read a heart...

I have no quibble with that at all.

The Bible does tell us though that love is the fulfillment of the law, and that if we love God we will love our fellow man. Not that we might love our fellow man, but that we will. The Bible also tells us that all our actions spring from what dwells in our hearts. James tells us that if we don't actually act on what we say we believe--that God dwells withing us--the truth isn't in us.

I'm not judging anyone, just saying what the Bible tells us. I'm probably more guilty than anyone on this site of not loving those I should, but it doesn't stop me from recognizing my duty to both say what I think is true, and acknowledge my shortcomings. Just because I fall short of the mark doesn't mean I shouldn't say what I think the mark is. If meeting the mark was the requirement to say what God requires of us, then we wouldn't have a Bible, period.

[cricket]

Only God can read a heart...

Gail, I challenge you on this. I really don't think it's entirely true that only God can read a heart. We (mothers and fathers especially) are also given the ability to empathize with one another. Some people are able to see when others are in need of human bonding and compassion.

I think it's important to help people get to be emotionally self-reliant, but without a guiding hand (or heart), sometimes I think it might just be next to impossible.

(And by the way, I don't mean to be "challenging" in a bad way. Just couldn't think of a better way to put it.)

[joeb]

Originally Posted By: Gail

Only God can read a heart...

Gail, I challenge you on this. I really don't think it's entirely true that only God can read a heart. We (mothers and fathers especially) are also given the ability to empathize with one another. Some people are able to see when others are in need of human bonding and compassion.

I think it's important to help people get to be emotionally self-reliant, but without a guiding hand (or heart), sometimes I think it might just be next to impossible.

(And by the way, I don't mean to be "challenging" in a bad way. Just couldn't think of a better way to put it.)

I'll quibble with this idea that parents can read their kids hearts. My parents had no more of an idea of my motives and nature than the man in the moon. In my mid-to-late 40's I got together with my mom, my dad was already dead, and did a temperament test with her. After I explained how the test worked and was read she looked at me and said, Oh, now I understand you. She died a couple of months later and thus had spent 99+% of my life not having a clue as to who I was.

My dad died having never known who I was.

[cricket]

Interesting. But...you were probably held when you were a baby and cried. You were probably fed when you were hungry. Your parents probably knew a lot more about you than you (or even they) realize.

Do you feel as if you had no idea of the things going on in their hearts? Do you have children of your own now that perhaps you can relate better to? Or a spouse or significant other?

I feel as if my daughter and I connect pretty well; my husband also is able to anticipate my feelings a lot of the time. My son and I often think so much alike we finish each other's sentences.

Maybe I just come from a different kind of family. Admittedly, we have been fortunate enough to spend a lot of time together. Homeschooling our kids gave me a lot of time with my kids. And now that they're older, we still spend a lot of time together. My husband and I were able to spend an entire year together in 2012--he was unemployed for that time and we spent nearly every waking moment together. We all read each other like a glove.

[whatisthis]

Originally Posted By: Narcah

Why do women believe its OK to lie and say "Yes" when they mean "No" and "I'm ok" when they're not?

Not wanting to cause the other person pain can be a reason.

People do that, because it's considered boorish to dump all your woes on another person just because they asked how you are. "OK" is a relative term, anyway. "I'm okay" can mean "I'm breathing, and trusting in God." It could be said when in the midst of the firy furnace if God is with you there. So, it's not a lie to just say "I'm okay" even when there are a number of issues affecting the person who says it. As for "Yes" when meaning "No", the answer to why people do that depends on what the question was.