Why Do Our Teenagers Leave the Church?

[Paul Beach]

Margaret Gray notes:

The church in North America really has not valued the young people like they should. =42&tx_ttnews[backPid]=1&amp...Hash=fe30f06a3a

There was only 1 delegate from the NAD who was under 30, and she was probably 29. The above link has the stats.

[Dr. Shane]

IAD had 40 and SAD 32! Remember I mentioned how the youth almost seem to run the churches in Latin America.

[Bravus]

Agreed, Gerry and Amelia. Someone was saying something about challenging the youth to serve earlier in this thread, I think... <img src="/ubbtreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Shane, I think bevin was also talking about people who leave the SDA denomination and go on to worship and fellowship regularly with Christians of another denomination, as well as those who leave the church but still believe in God.

[Dr. Shane]

I don't think many Adventists that leave the denomination do go on to join other denominations. At least that is what I have read. I have met two Adventists that have left the church and joined other denominations, so I know it does happen. However I have met several others that have left and never joined another denomination - I work with one.

[bevin]

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I know for myself, when I slack off in church attendence my spiritual life suffers.

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I have the opposite problem - church attendance drives me up the wall. I feel like I am compelled to sit around for hours on end listening to the ignorant telling me that I am are evil for not believing the same foolishness they believe and the disorganised chastising me for not supporting their efforts that are clearly doomed to fail to achieve the intended effect.

Somewhere in the midst of this nonsense I am expected to hear a sensible Lord talking to me? It is easier to hear Him without the noise.

/Bevin

[Bobbi]

QUOTE: "... the churches I'm involved with have been neglecting our young people. Is this the reason why so many begin to leave the church in their late teens and early twenties?... :2cents: Is it neglect that is causing them to desire to be elsewhere?"

long time reader, first time poster. good topic. I have 2 daughters 20 and 24 who are both outside the church. I have my own opinion on why so many kids leave the church. The following is not to judge, especially while I beleive that I am one of the parents who contributed to my girl's leaving the church! While the church does have responsibility, the lions share of the job is the parents. In the Adventist environment that my girls grew up in, I was looking back at the other kids who were leaving churches. Looking at their parents, they seemed like they were in a ditch (left or right). Parents who are too caught up in the world (including careers that take away precious family time)live a lie, and the kids see the incongruency of it all. I also saw some parents who were over restrictive and shaming, and the kids rebelled. So I beleive that if our church is to survive, we must 1: srike a balance somewhere,2: walk the walk, 3:take time to really feed our children spiritually, bring them to the cross, have them fall in love with Jesus. If parents do this, then naturally the church will progress and thrive (the church is really only people-the buiding is peripheral). I appreciate what i've heard from the other postings so far, Beeb

[lazarus]

Shane said:

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I don't think many Adventists that leave the denomination do go on to join other denominations.

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I understand what you are saying Shane but from what I observe with the Young adults in our area there an increasing trend of going SDA on sabbath and then "getting your Praise on" on sunday. There do not join but they will sing in the choir, play piano, go to their social functions.

I think we will see, especially in NAD, a lot more congregational style "SDA" churches. See the mission catalyst thread.

There are still churches in my area who during nom. com. resist having Young adults/youth sit on certain committees. Don't forget 18-35 in the SDa church is still considered to be Youth!

[Dr. Shane]

I like the charsmatic services and believe they do more good than harm. I think many Adventist churches have been slow to go to this. Perhaps because of the older members that dislike them. However I do not think that alone is the issue.

There are many Catholic and Lutheran churches with services that are dry and filled with traditional ordinaces and yet they have thriving youth groups and growing memberships.

[wicklunds]

Because of the readiness for our individual churches to compromise the standards of Christ and mitigate what will be preached from the pulpit.

[Gregory Matthews]

Dennis, your view is welcome. Are you prepared to dialogue with us, or are you not so prepared.

How do you support what you have stated. NOTE: I do not say you are wrong.

I am treating you exactly the same that I have treated Shane and others. There is a wealth of information available in the VALUEGENESIS publications on this very subject.

Have you read them?

Do you agree or disagree, and why?

Does the VALUEGENESIS researach support, or discredit, your conslusions?

Dennis, are you speaking from knowledge, experience (You are a relatively new SDA.), or simply off the top of your head with nothing to support your conclusions?

[lazarus]

wicklunds said:

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Because of the readiness for our individual churches to compromise the standards of Christ and mitigate what will be preached from the pulpit.

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What are the "standards of Christ" that you refer to?

[cricket]

Dennis,

In the original post of this thread, I simply asked, "What are your thoughts?" There is no need to support your opinion with reference to any other research or documentation (Adventist or non-Adventist). This is not a thread about ValueGenesis. It is a thread that is open to any opinion and your's is more than welcome!

Thank you for contributing to this thread. Thank you for your input.

As always, anyone is welcome to contribute anything in any thread that I start. There are no rules in my threads. Even "off topic" comments are always welcome.

~Chrys

[Gerr]

RE: Valuegenesis

I don't recall the Valuegenesis study addressing the issue of people leaving the church BECAUSE of the church.

My son was treated as a pariah while in an SDA academy. He still goes to church, but not to an SDA one.

Gerry

[Gail]

Kids and standards? Talking from the experience of my own adult children, I can think that they all have deviated from the "standards"

Why? Probably because they were sorting out what the important issues were/are. One was helping classmates deal with life as victims of abuse and another stopped being vegetarian but joined a workplace providing services to war victims in Africa. They had no time to squabble over standards

Not to say that they are not open to the idea- just yet. My other son is gaining a whole new respect for the concept of vegetarianism by reading a book given to him by a colleague- The China Study. That has opened a door for me to talk about why SDA believers have a positive attitude toward this concept

But during the teen years, knowing the kids that I've known, I think it's safe to say that they will test whatever system they are accustomed to. That is a part of growing up- finding reasons for and developing their own belief system

[Gail]

Now if I were to have a choice of what to teach a child in order to provide the food they need, I would give them Jesus first. Kids can handle some meaty spiritual things.

If they can grasp Biblical principles, they will be armed for life. But not only the principles, but how they sit concerning the Lord's love for the kids, the "why" of what they do

Otherwise, what good are any principles to anyone, if they are not based in the Lord?

[wicklunds]

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lazarus said:

What are the "standards of Christ" that you refer to?

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Those revealed in the SOP and the scriptures. The fruitage of the spirit-filled life. The standards Christ would have a peculiar people live by as a light unto the world. We must bear the peculiar principles Christ has set out in the Testimonies for the Church friend or we are not living up to the light.

Dennis

[lazarus]

The "Jesus standard" I love the most, as they pertain to children is this, "suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not for of such is the kingdom of heaven"

[Gregory Matthews]

Re: "In the original post of this thread, I simply asked, "What are your thoughts?" There is no need to support your opinion with reference to any other research or documentation (Adventist or non-Adventist). This is not a thread about ValueGenesis. It is a thread that is open to any opinion and your's is more than welcome!"

Of course, Dennis, you can do exactly that. It is your right, and you will not be banned for doing such.

But, I will ask you of what value is your comment, or this forum, if you simply want to state your opinion on a subject that is thought by many here in CA to be critical to the future of the SDA Church, if your are unwilling to dialogue about it.

If, and I am not challenging this, many of our youth are leaving the SDA Church, it is critical for our future, and for our place in God's kingdom, to determine the cause, develop a plan to fix it according to God's plan, to attempt to put that plan in place, and then to evualate the results and our compliance with God's plan.

If you have nothing to contribute to this discussion, if you are unwilling to dialogue on a matter of such critical importance, who will want to listen to your concerns? Of what value will they be? How will such contribute to the advancement of God's kingdom.

The call, and example, of Christ is a call to mingle with the "publicans", and take action. Are you willing to mingle with the many (few?) here in CA whom you consider to be "publicans?"

[wicklunds]

Of course no one in the church or outside is above the necessity of repentance Gregory. Why does it need to be any more or any less than this?

Many words do not make me righteous. Many Godly sorrows make me repentant. Are you at all sorry for sins today? I pray this for myself, you, and everyone. For it is a godly sorrow that gives way to true repentance, and thus leads the way for a purified church.

Dennis

[Gregory Matthews]

Dennis, you and I, and everyone else has a choice. We look to the people around us and see "publicans" within the claimed people of God. We can look to the world, and within the church, and see sin. We can sense it within ourselves. We will be accurate in all of this.

Or, we can look at the same, and see the power of God working in people, to redeem them. As Paul tells us in Romans 5:20 & 21, when he looked our on people and saw what I have listed above, he saw the redemptive power of God as being more powerful than sin, and bringing people to eternal life.

There is an interesting story in I Kings 19. Elijah was sitting around seeing all the sin that was clearly evident in the people of Isreal. Now he thinks that he is the only one (Vs. 10 & 14) alive doing God's work, and proclaiming God's message. God comes to him and tells him to get out of his chair, stop feeling sorry for himself, take his eyes of of the sins of others, and get busy doing the work that God had given him to do. Elijah was told to get involved in the world contaminated with sin, and to get involved with those people , and to get involved with making it right.

Dennis, it is in this context that I challenge you. It is not that I claim to be God, I am not. I am human, just like you. But, I say to you, get involved with those sinners that you see here in CA. If you have convictions, dialogue with those who will challenge you.

If you can do nothing more than to sit in your chair, complain about the sin you see in us, you will have little effectiveness.

God calls people to action. Christ calls people to be involved in a world of sin, with people deep in sin.

Is your focus on the power of sin in the world today? Or, is it on the power of God to redeem?