Porn, the Bible Belt and the Sabbath

[Key Guy]

Source: http://timesonline.typepad.com/faith/2009/03/porn-the-bible.html

Porn, the Bible Belt and the Sabbath - a new poll

"Americans who live in the Bible belt or states with high Church attendance buy as much online pornography as those living in more secular states, according to a new Harvard Business School study. The sole difference, reports the Associated Baptist Press, is that Bible-belt dwellers are less likely to hook into adult-only sites on Sundays. Benjamin Edelman, assistant business administration professor at Harvard came to this conclusion after analysing anonymous credit-card purchases of online porn via zip (post) codes and factoring in the availability of broadband in the area. He found subscriptions to adult-only sites to be slightly more elevated in states with conservative laws and attitudes towards family values. So which state tops the poll as the biggest consumer of online pornography per Capita? Why, Utah, home of the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints..."

I had read somewhere that this is a problem facing our church, too. I wonder why folks feel the need to look at what they can't touch or experience? How can that be any fun?

..Happily married and praying to stay that way..

[Gail]

Interesting note-

A couple of years ago I stayed a night in Salt Lake City and turned the TV on in the motel room and found porn right away. I was shocked- I have never seen that hardcore stuff since I turned on a TV in a hotel room in Holland, where one would almost expect more lax attitudes.

[Gail]

On this subject:

On Mark Gungor's DVD "Laughing Your Way to a Better Marriage" course he goes into some serious depth on this subject. I think he said the percentage of men that watch porn is 50%.

Coming from his viewpoint of a Christian marriage counsellor he expounds on the way the viewing of pornography ruins one's taste for sex with one's spouse.

That was the first time I had heard this information, but what can I say? He's the one trying to help these couples. He comes right out and says that modern counseling that promotes the viewing of porn even together as couples is just plain wrong.

[Gail]

But this is not a singles problem, per se. This is also a couples' problem, maybe even worse.

Good topic for the singles forum, though!

[Outta Here]

It appears to me as if it is the fellowship with others, and not the religion (or belief system) that keeps one "unplugged" from these sites. Spending time with others in good, clean fun helps us to appreciate the value of one another.

To me, this is why church socials--not the message preached on Sabbath (or Sunday, or Friday...)--is so important to our very existence. People need camaraderie with other people. People need to feel as if they belong. People need to feel loved and valued.

[olger]

True Aubrey.

As to the porn problem, Mark is correct, if a tad low.

70% of pastors in a recent study confessed to looking at internet porn. 60-70% Of men who go for counseling have moral issues like this to resolve - and they need to be resolved - and stopped. God is clear that this issue is sin, and must be repented of and forsaken.

Another thing I have discovered is that men with a high rejection score have a greater struggle in the area of pornography. Thus we must resolve the rejection AND the moral failure in order to get free. God is able to change our life.

best regards,

oG

[GoLions]

Source: http://timesonline.typepad.com/faith/2009/03/porn-the-bible.html

Porn, the Bible Belt and the Sabbath - a new poll

I had read somewhere that this is a problem facing our church, too. I wonder why folks feel the need to look at what they can't touch or experience? How can that be any fun?

..Happily married and praying to stay that way..

I too am happily married and praying to stay that way. Any addiction is not fun, I've been a heavy drinker for years, and used drugs often. When I started attending the SDA church, God gave me victory over those things rather easily. But porn was/is a different story. I had been looking at porn since a rather early age. Then I joined the armed services, and the adult clubs seemed to attract me. It was never a every day or every week thing. Very much moderate behavior. I never subscribed to any porn and rarely bought any. Then of course the world wide web came along. Free (at least I never paid for it), easily accessible, and still, what I would call moderate use. But even the first images that I seen as a kid, still roll around in my head. It seems as if it will never leave me alone. Victory over porn seems impossible, it is way to rooted in my mind. I often wonder how I will ever get to heaven. It seems as if any little thing can set me off and back to the world of lust. That is why I have to take care in what I see on TV or movies. I am gaining victory, but it is not easy. The devil is still alive and active. In the last year or so, someone has dumped porn mags at the front of my driveway. I had to pick them up and throw them away. I new walking out to get them that I was heading into a battle for my soul, I prayed for strength not to look, and I did good almost all the way back to the trash can. Then I looked...how many times do I have to use 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I want victory over all my sins. I can't wait until the day, when I won't sin ever again. I will probably regret writing this. I have attended a few seminars on being a Christian and porn. This is not a subject I take lightly. My soul is at stake. My influence on others is at stake. My family is at stake.

[Key Guy]

GL,

You have been very open and I respect you for your candor and insight, plus your realization of your need for God's power. May you never lose sight of your strength.

There were two points that I took from the discussions above.

As a teflon-coated extrovert, I didn't consider that lonely & rejected people would be more susceptible to the temptations of porn. It makes sense to me. Even married people experience loneliness and rejection in their relationship at times, so no one is immune. All of us sinners have a particular weakness somewhere... if not porn, perhaps gambling, drugs, sex addictions (and that list goes on). We all have the same solution available to us, though, so we need to be uplifting each other in our quests for victory.

Second, one night I was looking to replace some of my worn skivvies and Googled the word 'underwear'. I couldn't believe the porn sites that popped up in response to that search! It was an innocent attempt and it taught me a lesson; internet porn lurks everywhere, so one must be sober and vigilant at all times. Satan never hits us full-on right away. He'd rather weaken us slowly before dropping the big temptation on us. We cannot allow his influence to take hold one whit.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Did you know that pornography addiction is considered Biblical grounds for divorce in most conservative denominations, including the Adventist Church?

[Robert]

Did you know that pornography addiction is considered Biblical grounds for divorce in most conservative denominations, including the Adventist Church?

Maybe, but marriage is forever in God's eyes. Yes, if there is abuse then separation is need, but in God's mind marriage is forever. I didn't use the believe this, however it is the clear teaching of NT.

[Robert]

This is not a subject I take lightly. My soul is at stake. My influence on others is at stake. My family is at stake.

Yes, porn can take you places you don't won't to go. Yes it can destroy marriages, but to say your soul is a stake because you have this besetting problem (as do a lot of men) can be an "assurance stealer".

God accepts you where you are at this moment. That doesn't mean He doesn't won't you to grow, but nevertheless you are accepted "in Christ" even while you have this addictive, besetting problem.

You see a besetting sin is not the same thing as a practiced sin. Let me explain: A practiced sin is one that you deliberately, habitually condone and have chose to live as a legitimate lifestyle. Hence a practiced sin implies that you want to live that lifestyle no matter what.

[Woody]

Originally Posted By: GreatLakesGramma

Did you know that pornography addiction is considered Biblical grounds for divorce in most conservative denominations, including the Adventist Church?

Maybe, but marriage is forever in God's eyes. Yes, if there is abuse then separation is need, but in God's mind marriage is forever. I didn't use the believe this, however it is the clear teaching of NT.

Thank you Rob. This new invention of scripture is just a perversion. God does not give this excuse to anyone. Marriage is forever .... in the eyes of God.

[Dr. Shane]

But this is not a singles problem, per se. This is also a couples' problem, maybe even worse.

I saw a statistic once that said most porno videos sold are purchased by couples - not singles. It isn't the dirty old man watching them in his basement. It is husband and wife trying to "spice up" their marriage. It (couples buying porn) came up in conversation once with a carpenter I worked with and he said told me that it was about time he and his wife updated their porn collection. I was in a Hispanic church once when the preacher specifically dealt with the sinfulness of couples watching porn together. Some men have become so numb they have to watch porn to get turned on.

[Bravus]

If only all those Christians who struggle with porn (or maybe don't struggle?) would recognise it as evidence that we're all sinners in need of a saviour who have no right to judge others.

[True-believer]

Romans 3:23,

We ALL SIN and FALL SHORT OF GOD'S GLORY.

It isn't easy, but...

Philippines 4:13 says,

We can do ALL things through Jesus Christ who strengtherns us.

[GreatLakesGramma]

So then, you're saying if a man is habitually unfaithful to his wife, having one affair or one night stand after another, never apologizes, but rather flaunts it in her face and tells her it's her fault because she's supposedly not good enough, she should just live with it?

I wouldn't.

[phkrause]

And I don't think God would either. Wasn't this the only reason that was acceptable for divorce in the OT?

pk

[GreatLakesGramma]

I saw a statistic once that said most porno videos sold are purchased by couples - not singles.

That doesn't change the fact that married men do it behind their wives' back, and if found out, deny it, make excuses, cast blame on the wife for being not good enough, promise they'll quit, then hide it more carefully instead, etc. They are breaking their marriage vows and being unfaithful to their wives just as surely as if they were sleeping around. And it is just as destructive to the marriage relationship, even when successfully hidden, as physical infidelity. This is why it's considered equivalent by conservative churches.

Whether any of you consider habitual adultery to be Biblically approved grounds for divorce or not is not the point.

[cordelil]

This type of infornation is not new. I have heard of similar studies going back at least 40 years. The reason for it is not difficult to figure out: it's called hypocrisy.

John

[Gail]

The images that GoLions was suffering from was due to the imprinting process that Gungor describes in detail in his course. He was telling how one man viewed great sex as having taken place in a motel. Another pastor could not even perform with his wife without having a girlie magazine open beside the bed.

How shameful! How gripping and controlling!

[GreatLakesGramma]

Regarding couples who use pornography, if I were a gambler, I'd be willing to bet everything I have that in almost every case, it was the husband who initiated its use. Women are NOT sexually aroused by visual images. I have read, enough to believe it is probably the norm, women writing in to advice columnists as how - her husband wants her to view porn with him, and she feels very uncomfortable, but he is being very persistent, and she feels she really has no choice if she wants to keep the peace in her home. It makes her feel dirty and violated, and she can hardly live with herself any more, but she doesn't dare say anything to him because she knows how it will go over, and does she really have to do this, to be a submissive wife like he says, etc., etc.

Women (and girls) feel personally violated at viewing pornography, unless they have been persistently desensitized. Which is something Hollywood and other media in our society are doing their very utmost to accomplish.

[True-believer]

Ephesians 5:8-10 says it very clearly about this unclean bad habit...

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

Whether or not you are in the sin of porn, we all need to live as children of light.

We all need the fruits of goodness, righteousness and truth which is found in Jesus.

Jesus says Himself, "I am the way, the truth and the life."

In 1 Corinthians 13 it states that the greatest things in life are:

Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest is LOVE.

We all need to be loved, no matter who we are, we all want to be love, and if we can't find love, then people will turn to porn and other things to find love and to be love.

LOVE is the key to everything, and it is very hard to come by in today's world, that is why many people do turn to porn and sex and masturbation and fornication and adultery and the like.

Ephesians 6:10 says...

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.

[Woody]

Adultry was common place in the OT and God just winked at it. Not saying that was good of Him to do ... just that He did it.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Furthermore....

Most women who make pornographic movies are not doing it because they want to. Do any of you here remember hearing about an extremely explicit and notorious movie called "Deep Throat", years ago? Linda Lovelace, "star" of the movie came out publicly years later, and told how her husband was violently abusive and forced her to make the movie against her will. Some of you guys will probably think to yourselves,uh huh, yeah, sure. I believe her.

Sex is NOT primarily a physical act to women. It is a very private, deeply personal act that goes to the very core of our beings. No girl or woman will violate that - because do so is to do violence to her deepest being - unless she has been made to feel that that's all she's worth.

You guys can scoff if you want to, but every women here knows that I am speaking the truth.

[GreatLakesGramma]

Adultry was common place in the OT and God just winked at it. Not saying that was good of Him to do ... just that He did it.

That is NOT true Redwood, and you know it. Come ON - THINK!