Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#968   Anxiety Builds Courage

From the perspective of courage, every time you experience fear you have another opportunity to increase your level of courage.

With some situations, the very fact that your initial reaction is one of fear, in itself renders the words you say and the actions you take into courageous words and deeds. If you would be doing the very same thing and it would be easy for you, it would not be a courage-building event.

Now that you needed to overcome your anxiety and fear, your level of courage is rising. This opens you up to a wealth of future possibilities that would not have been possible without the courage you are adding to your character.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#969   Hear The Message

Habit has great power. We can become used to almost everything. We can become so used to a life of suffering that we are no longer aware that suffering is not the way life should be lived.

This tendency to lack a feeling of suffering is the biggest obstacle to becoming elevated through suffering. Since we do not feel the suffering, we do not pay attention to it and do not hear its message.

To overcome this, we must obtain an awareness that whenever things are not as they should be, it is a message that we should improve ourselves in some area.

(Toras Avraham, p.29; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.249)

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#970   Get Up The Courage

Courage is a trait. Like all traits it can be improved. No one is born with highly-developed courage. We are all born as helpless infants.

Regardless of how little or how much courage one presently has, there is an ongoing need to gain even more -- and everyone can learn how to accomplish this.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#971   Increase Your Knowledge

Regardless of how much you know, constantly be aware that there is much knowledge you are still lacking. This will motivate you to continually seek perfection.

What specific knowledge are you lacking that you would like to gain? Make a step today to gain some of that knowledge.

(Ralbag - Shaar hachochmah, no.24)

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#972   Ask What To Change

A person who is "wise in his own eyes" will not make positive changes. Since he thinks he is right, he is not aware of his negative and counterproductive behavior. But if a person is aware of his improper behavior, there is always hope that he will correct himself.

Today, ask someone whom you're close with what they would suggest that you change about yourself. (This is scary, but worth it!)

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 26:12; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")

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#973   Rise to the Challenge

When trying to do a good deed, do not concentrate on the difficulties involved. Focus on the fact that your merit for doing a good deed is greater when it is difficult. Perseverance in the face of difficulties has an elevating effect. The difficulty need not make you feel worse, but can actually make you feel better.

Today, select one difficult task and see how it can actually be elevating.

(see Gateway to Happiness, p.59)

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#974   Be A Trustworthy Messenger

When you help someone else financially, realize that the money you are giving away is not really yours. Really the money belongs to the person to whom you are giving it! The Almighty has merely made you His messenger to collect that money and give it to its rightful owner.

Today, write a check to your favorite charity and tell yourself, "I am God's messenger!"

(see Rabbi Chaim Zaitchyk - Maayanai Hachaim, vol.3, p.138; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#975   Have Courage to Change

Whenever we have repeated a pattern many times, it is difficult to change. But all patterns ultimately can in fact be changed. It is a question of having a clear goal - and then being motivated to take action.

It is easier to change patterns when two parties are willing to work together. If you are the only one, it takes more strength, more courage, and more resilience. That's why cooperation is essential in a marriage.

The Almighty leads a person on the path on which he wants to go. May He give you the wisdom to make the right decisions and choices, and the strength and courage to follow through!

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book entitled "Marriage" - ArtScroll Publications, 1998, Chapter One, p.64)

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#976   Rising to the Challenge

A person whose main focus in life is self-improvement will feel the greatest joy on days when his tests are the most difficult.

A righteous person once said that the happiest moment in his life was when some people tried to humiliate him in an extreme way, and he was able to remain calm and serene. He realized on that day that he was able to cope with insults with total inner peace.

Difficult life situations are not a contradiction to having a pleasant life. Rather, the ultimate level to strive for is when all difficulties serve as tools for joy and happiness. This is an essential Torah concept, which guarantees that if you follow it 100 percent, then your life will be 100 percent full of happiness and joy.

(see Rabbi Yosef Hurwitz of Nevardok - Madraigos Haadam; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#977   Acceptance vs Change

Trust in the Almighty helps us accept more easily what cannot be changed. Because we realize that everything is meant for our ultimate best interest.

At the same time, we should make the effort to change what can be changed. It's up to us to find ways to change.

Throughout our lifetime, we learn what falls into which category.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge,"pp.99-100)

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#978   An Act Of Courage

When I think of an act of courage, I think of my aunt who was in the concentration camp in Auschwitz. One of her sisters became physically weak and was ordered to stand in the line leading to the gas chambers. My aunt managed to get the Nazi officer to look the other way for a moment. She then ran over and with one hand pulled her sister back in the line of life, and with her other hand she also pulled out the stranger who was next in line.

Her daughter learned of this in Macy's in New York many years later. The woman who was saved recognized my aunt and screamed and fainted. My aunt didn't recognize the woman. After reviving, the woman said, "I will never forget you. You saved my life."

(from Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#979   Revenge

When we've been wronged, it is very difficult to overcome feelings of animosity and revenge. As the saying goes, "revenge is sweeter than honey." It takes great strength of character to overcome the natural desire for revenge and instead to forget the entire matter and remove it from one's heart as if it had never occurred.

Such a level is easy only for angels who do not have normal human emotions, but not for ordinary mortals. Nevertheless, the Torah states this obligation explicitly: "Do not hate your brother in your heart. Do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge." (Leviticus 19:17,8)

Today, ask yourself: Is there anyone toward whom I feel resentment, animosity or a grudge? If yes, imagine being able to let those feelings melt away. Experience yourself being free from the burden of those heavy feelings. Forgive!!! Allow yourself to feel the relief and lightness of living in the present - totally free from those counterproductive thoughts and feelings.

(see Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto - Path of the Just, ch.11)

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#980   Refresh Your Self-Image

Some people think that since one's self-image is largely based on how parents, teachers, and friends treated them when they were young, they can do little to change their self-image. But this is wrong.

It is true that our self-image is based largely on our past. But what counts is how we judge ourselves in the present. Regardless of how we were considered by others, we have the ability to change our own attitude towards ourselves.

Imagine that a monarch's young son was captured by bandits and raised by them. They treated him as a lowly servant and that is how he viewed himself. At the age of 25, he was returned to his father the king. His attitude toward himself will be transformed almost immediately. The prince now realizes that his original view of himself was based on a mistaken notion and he will now view himself as a member of royalty.

This is the Torah evaluation of human beings. Every person is created in the image of God. We are all nobility and should view ourselves accordingly. Lowly self-images are based on mistaken notions - and we all have the ability to change those notions if we choose.

Once you internalize this concept, you can look back at your past experiences and picture how you would have dealt with difficult situations if you would have had a positive, confident attitude. Don't look back with regret. Rather use this as a tool to rewrite, as it were, your past history. This will have a powerful effect on all that you do in the future.

(Gateway to Happiness, p.119)

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#981   You Are Unique

You are unique. You are the only person in the world who is exactly who you are. The Almighty has not made anyone else like you. Only you have your unique genetic makeup and your unique life circumstances. No one alive now, and no one who ever lived before, and no one who will ever live in the future was, is, or will be just like you. You are the only person in the world with your unique positive qualities and challenges. You are the only person in the world who has your particular life mission.

You, like everyone else alive right now, are a work in progress. You have a multitude of positive choices you can make throughout each and every day. Choose life! Choose positive thoughts, words, and actions. With every positive choice you make, you build yourself. Keep making positive choices.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Introduction)

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#982   You Are Important

Considering yourself important is an essential mindset. Feeling good about yourself is a basic human need. Knowing your inner strengths and positive qualities enables you to use them again and again. Acknowledging your past accomplishments and achievements gives you a happier life and enables you to continue to accomplish and achieve much more.

Your self-image creates the quality of your life. As you build your own self-image, you will have a greater positive influence on the self-image of others.

It takes an entire lifetime to live one�s life. Building your self-image is a lifelong process. Throughout your life there will be factors and events that build your self-image, while other experiences do the opposite. The positive and elevated thoughts, words, and actions that you think, say, and do are all part of the process of building your self-image.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Introduction)

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#983   The Wise, Kind, and Beneficial Thing to Say

It is common for people to be told, "Your problem is that you have a low self-image." Such statements usually lower a person's emotional state and make them feel worse about themselves.

It would be much wiser and kinder, and more beneficial, for people to say, "You have infinite value and worth. You already know you have strengths and inner resources. But you have even more strengths and resources that you are not yet fully aware of, and they will enhance your life as you become more aware of them. There are many more strengths and inner resources that you can gain and build up from now on. As you keep building your self-image, it will have a positive impact on all your future thoughts, words, and actions. You will be calmer, happier, and more self-confident."

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self-image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Introduction)

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#984   Almighty's Perspective on Your True Value

The Almighty's perspective is the ultimate perspective. It is the basis of reality. The real question we need to ask ourselves is, "What does the Almighty consider my true value to be?"

From the Almighty's viewpoint, the answer is, "You are My child and you are precious. You are created in My image. In essence you are a Divine Soul. I have created the world for you. Your entire being and your value is a gift from Me. When you see yourself from My perspective, you know that you have infinite value. Your intrinsic worth is greater than anything that can be measured materially."

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 1)

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#985   Choose a Fulfilling and Meaningful Life

Be willing to meet the challenges of life with heartfelt prayer and trust that the Almighty, your Father and King, Creator and Sustainer of the universe, will lead you along the path that you wish to go (Makos 10b).

You choose the road to your life's mission and destination. Make a profound decision to choose a fulfilling and meaningful life. This decision will become your self-image.

Besides creating a great life for yourself, you will have a positive influence on many other children of the Almighty.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 1)

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#986   Be Honorable By Treating Others With Respect

The Sages in Pirkei Avos (4:1) define the honorable person as 'someone who shows honor and respect to other people' They are teaching us that it's not how other people treat you that makes you important and honorable. Rather, it's how you treat others.

When you realize that every human being is created in the image of the Almighty, you realize that right from birth every human being is important and valuable. By being respectful to other human beings, you add to your self-respect. You recognize that when you treat others with respect, you are expressing respect to the Creator.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 2)

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#987   The Almighty Loves You

"The Almighty loves each person more than each person loves his own self" (Shmiras Halashon, vol. 1, ch. 2).

This statement by the saintly Chofetz Chaim gives us a powerful message for our self-image: "I am a person who the Creator and Sustainer of the entire universe loves and considers valuable."

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 5

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#988   Identify Yourself as a Soul with a Body

A person who identifies himself with his soul will take good care of his body to keep it safe and healthy, but he will keep his main focus on nourishing his soul. A person who sees himself as being a soul, someone who has a body just for the duration of his stay on this planet, will tend to view other people as essentially being souls also. This will raise his view of others. He will automatically treat others with greater respect.

The more you see yourself as a soul with a body, the higher your self-image will be. Who am I? "I am a soul who is living in this world within my body."

When you don't know what to do, ask yourself, "What course of action would my soul want me to choose?"

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 6)

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#989   A Student's Major Transformation

I have heard one of my favorite self-image building stories from the student himself and I have repeated it in public to many teachers.

There was a fifteen-year-old student who was studying in a yeshiva in Jerusalem. The boy was bright, but he tended to be a bit dreamy. He didn't concentrate as well as he potentially could.

At the beginning of the school year he earned a fifty percent grade on a weekly test in Talmud. The teacher called him over, and the boy expected the teacher to reprimand him for not doing well.

Instead, the teacher said to him, "You received only a fifty because you only answered half the questions on the test. But let me show you how wonderfully you did. Look at what you answered for question number five. This was a difficult question and you answered it excellently! Look at what you answered to question number fourteen. You understood the intricacies of the entire section, and you explained yourself very clearly. Keep up the good work."

The boy felt good, but didn't change. The next week, the boy again received a fifty on the weekly Talmud test. The teacher called him over. The boy thought, "Now the teacher will really let me have it for not doing well."

To his surprise, the teacher said to him, "Your mark was only a fifty because you didn't answer all the questions on the test. But look at how well you answered the questions that you did answer. Look at question number six: Your answer shows a complete grasp of the material that this question asks. Look at question number nineteen. You explained the complex Tosafos with total clarity. Keep up the good work."

This time a major transformation occurred. The boy said to himself, "I see that I do have the ability to understand what we are learning in class. I need to focus better in class when the teacher is explaining the lesson. I also need to review what we learned a number of times. I believe that I have the ability to understand what we are learning in class."

The next week, the boy focused well during the actual class. The entire week he diligently reviewed the material that was covered in class. At the end of the week, when he received the results of the test, he had scored one hundred percent. He had answered every single question correctly. The same thing repeated itself with the next test, and the next test, and the next test. After four straight hundreds, his self-image was totally transformed.

He now realized, "I am someone who understands all that we learn when I concentrate and review."

That fellow is now married with a nice-sized family. He is considered a scholar by all who know him. When he first entered the large Mirrer Kollel, he received a perfect score on a difficult test.

How long did it take for that insightful and clever teacher to totally change the student's self-image? Just a couple of minutes, two weeks in a row.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 7)

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#990   You are Writing Your Autobiography

Throughout your life, you are writing your autobiography through all that you do. You are in the middle of writing the story of your present and future life. Your current self-image tells the story about yourself until now. Since you are still in the middle of this life story, at any given moment you can speak and act in ways that elevate the story of your life and make it more meaningful. You can choose to do much more good than ever before, become more spiritual, gain wisdom, be kinder, influence others, and refine your character traits. The positive things that you can do now revise the entire picture of your life.

Each minute, hour, day, week, month, and year, you write new sentences, paragraphs, pages, and chapters. The positive choices you make, what you think, say, and do, add self-image-building content to your entire life. Every entry in your autobiography adds to the entire picture. Many entries make just minor additions. At times, an important entry can change the entire picture of where you are now and what direction you are headed.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 8)

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#991   Why Someone Might Have a Low Self-Image

Some people ask, "Why do I have a low self-image?"

There are many possible answers that one can give, even though there is only one valid and real answer: "If you have a low self-image, it is because of the way you think about yourself. Think better thoughts and you'll change your self-image."

Thinking of yourself in a consistently negative way is the only way to have a low self-image. Improving your thoughts improves your self-image.

The way you think of yourself now is your present self- image. Regardless of your past self-image, you have free will and the ability to build yourself and your self-image.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 9)

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#992   Act The Way You Wish To Be

There is a basic principle found in the writings of the Rambam (Hilchos Daos) and other classic Torah sources: "Act the way you wish to be and you will become that way."

We are influenced by our actions. Take, for example, someone who wants to become a kinder person. By doing many acts of kindness over time, the person actually becomes an authentically kinder person.

Each day write down at least ten positive actions that you did. Write down kind words and acts, blessings that you said mindfully, and positive things that you did even though they were hard to do. Write down when you felt grateful, and when you refrained from saying something that would cause another person distress. Write down an encouraging telephone call that you made.

What will happen when you are resolved to write down ten positive actions each day? You will go out of your way to do them. This will have a cumulative effect on your self-image.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 11)