Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#993   Your Mindset About Yourself

Your mindset about what you are able to do in life will have a global effect on your entire way of being. Most people view their perceived limitations as real. The reality is that every single person has a tremendous amount of potential.

When you believe that you can do something, you will be able to do more and better than when you believe you can't. Although it's possible to believe that you can when you really can't, you will never know which are real limits and which are imaginary limits until you try to make breakthroughs.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 12)

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#994   Your Best Moments Are Your Best Teachers

Your best moments are your best teachers. We each have moments that are special in our lives, moments when we go beyond what we are usually able to do. Moments when we are especially spiritual and elevated, self-confident and courageous, happy and joyful, kind and compassionate, calm and serene, persuasive and influential, insightful and intuitive, forgiving and understanding, and creative and innovative.

During our best moments, we go beyond our own selves in almost unbelievable ways.

Each best moment in our life sheds light on what we can possibly do and who we can possibly be. Our best moments raise our self-image to a degree that our ordinary moments can't and don't.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 13)

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#995   If You Were to Meet Hillel and Rabbi Akiva

Imagine what it would be like if you were to meet Hillel and Rabbi Akiva. They both were highly elevated, spiritual scholars who treated everyone with great respect. Regardless of who you were and what you had done or not done, they would have treated you the ultimate respect.

Hillel taught us to be a disciple of Aharon, Moshe's older brother and the first High Priest. Aharon treated everyone with tremendous love and respect. Treating people with respect motivated and influenced them in positive ways.

Rabbi Akiva taught that every human is precious because each one is created in the Almighty's image. Rabbi Akiva saw the good in every situation and he saw the Divine in every person.

If you ever feel bad about yourself because someone didn't treat you with the proper respect, imagine what it would be like if you had just had an encounter with Hillel and Rabbi Akiva. They would have spoken to you in a way that would help build your self-image.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 14)

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#996   Building Your Self-Image One Tiny Step at a Time

There are special occurrences, situations, and opportunities that help build your self-image in a short time. However, it is more common to improve one tiny step at a time every day than to have quick progress in this area.

The daily question to ask yourself is: "What small improvement can I make now?"

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 16)

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#997   Making and Reaching Worthwhile Goals

Life is a process of setting and reaching goals. Formulating and achieving worthwhile goals add meaning to life. Even if one's life is very challenging, having worthwhile goals raises the quality of life. The happiest people are those who strive for worthwhile goals, not those whose life is just fun and games.

People with a positive self-image believe in their ability to attain meaningful goals. Someone who has already accomplished worthwhile goals will have an even more positive self-image.

Part of successful goal making and reaching is an awareness of your life mission. People who are clear about their life mission are clearer about their goals. Developing a life mission that inspires and motivates you is one of the most important things that you can do in your life.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 17)

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#998   All Inner Strengths in All Contexts

The vast majority of people utilize some of their inner strengths sometimes, but not always. This is certainly true for me. It's probably true for many people who are reading this.

People might be kind, courageous, confident, patient, harmonious, happy, or relaxed in some contexts, but not in others. People might be able to concentrate well and stay focused in some contexts, but not in others. People might be able to stay centered and flowing in some situations, but not in others. It would be wonderful to be able to access all of your inner strengths in all contexts. In other words, if you can be calm and relaxed, confident and courageous, centered, focused, and flowing in some contexts and around some people, it would be wonderful to access those mental and behavioral states around all people, all the time.

An important facet of every human being is our brain. Our brain is always with us wherever we are. It's impossible to forget to take our brain along when we go out, no matter how absent- minded we are. Therefore we can learn how to access the strengths that we have recorded in our mental archives and apply them whenever we need them.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 18)

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#999   "This, Too, Will Build My Self-Image"

Each and every day you will have many opportunities to build yourself and your self-image. Every positive thought, word, and action builds you.

When you see that you have behaved in a positive way, you can say to yourself, "This, too, will build my self-image."

If you have not behaved the way you would have liked, you can think about how you wished to have thought, spoken, and acted. Thinking about what you want to be like conditions your mind to think, speak, and act more in that way. You can say about this pattern of thinking, "This, too, will build my self-image."

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 22)

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#1000   Bring a Smile to Our Planet

Imagine how wonderful our planet would be if each person on it would greet everyone with a smile. That means that wherever you go you would be met with a smile. Be part of the "Bring a smile to our planet" project. To become a member of this project, you don't need to spend any money or fill out any forms. All you need to do is smile. Then watch the faces of those at whom you smile. Reinforce the smiles of others by telling them, "I appreciate your smiles," or, "You look great when you smile." By reinforcing this person's smiling, you will set in motion a chain of smiles. The recipients of this person's smiles will smile to more people, and those people will smile to even more people. You will be increasing the total amount of smiles on our planet. And that's something we need a lot more of.

Think of someone who doesn't smile very often. Then sensitively think of a way to bring a smile to that person's face in a way that will be appreciated.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.167)

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#1001   If Someone Else Can Do It, I Can Do It, Too

We might think that we won't be able to do or accomplish something. But seeing that someone else can do it tells us, "If this person can accomplish that, I will be able to do it also."

The Sages (Pirkei Avos 4:1) define a wise person as someone who learns from every person. Develop the habit of interviewing people you meet to find out exactly how they learned to do what you would like to learn to do. What are the thoughts that go through their mind? What are the actions they take? What are their attitudes and mindsets? What are the mental pictures they see? What are the books they read? What are the classes and recordings they heard?

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 27)

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#1002   Stop Thinking Thoughts That Lower Your Self-Image

A person creates a low self-image with his thoughts. Someone who constantly repeats demeaning self-talk will build a low self-image. The more he continues thinking and focusing on negative thoughts that lower his self-image, the worse he will feel about himself.

Being around an extremely critical person can be very distressful. But having a very active inner critic frequently criticize what you say and do without letup creates even more distress.

When you consistently think thoughts to build your self- image, these positive statements become stronger and stronger and the old negative ones get weaker and weaker. The neural pathways to the recent life-enhancing thoughts are enlarged and your mind will find it easier to travel this more beneficial path.

Keep in mind that every young child has immature ways of thinking, speaking, and acting. As people grow up the vast majority think, speak and act in more adult ways. Even though the childish ways of thinking, speaking, and acting are stored in the brains of adults, the more mature behaviors become automatic and spontaneous.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 32)

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#1003   People Who Make You Feel Good About Yourself

There are people who consistently make others feel good about themselves. When you are in the presence of someone who has a "good eye" and a "good heart," you see yourself in a more positive light. Such a person treats you with respect and makes it easier for you to increase your own level of self-respect. Such a person says and does things that bring out the best in you.

Remember how you felt about yourself after encounters with such people. Let those experiences build your self-image. Don't just look at it as, "I felt really good about myself when I spoke to this person." Rather, view these encounters as life-enhancing experiences that permanently build your self-image. Even many years later, you can allow these encounters to raise your view of yourself.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 35)

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#1004   Now is The Time

There is an old saying: "The past is no more, the future is not yet, and the present is as fleeting as the blink of an eye."

The present is the only reality and it is exceedingly short. Being aware of this can make it easier for you to live a virtuous life. You need do the right thing for only a short time -- that is, the present moments, which fly by exceedingly fast.

(Chochmah U'mussar, vol.1, p.452; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.144)

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#1005   Self-Mastery Builds Your Self-Image

Every time you have self-mastery in any way, you build up your self-image. "I am a person who is gaining more and more control over my emotions and actions all the time." Every time you have the emotional self-control to do something that you find difficult to do, you build up your self-image. Every time you refrain from saying or doing something, you build up your self-image.

Some people keep self-mastery journals. Writing down their successes and victories in exhibiting self-control improves their ability to exhibit a greater amount of self-mastery.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 37)

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#1006   Boasting Versus Sharing

It's important to differentiate between boasting and sharing your successes with people who sincerely wish you well and enjoy your success. Children especially have a strong need to show their parents that they have been successful. This is a way they build their self-image. Parents can encourage them to be grateful to Hashem for their success, building gratitude and balanced modesty.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 39)

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#1007   A Modest and Healthy Self-Image

A modest person with a healthy self-image will be a happier person. He doesn't have demanding expectations of life. Therefore he has greater satisfaction and appreciation for what he does have and less distress from disappointments.

A person with a modest and healthy self-image will get along more harmoniously with others. He will be much more at ease and he will bring out the best in others. He will be respected and liked. He won't arouse needless envy and antagonism. He will speak and act pleasantly. In general, he will be more balanced in all of his ways.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 39)

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#1008   Stories of Growing from Challenges

Whenever you come across a story about someone who has grown from a challenge, think, "Since I have read or heard this story of how someone grew from this challenge, I now have this pattern stored in my brain. My brain is always with me. So I can add to my self-image: ‘I am a person who has read and heard about patterns of growing from challenges.' This will strengthen my own resolve to grow from challenges. Instead of worrying about potential challenges that I might face, I will keep thinking about how I will grow from any challenge that might come my way."

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 41)

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#1009   Help People Identify With Positive Patterns

Every person has positive traits, qualities, and patterns, and every person has faults, deficiencies, and negative patterns. When someone identifies with his imperfections, he will feel worse about himself. Someone who focuses mainly on his shortcomings will have a lower self-image, which prevents him from being at his best. Help people identify with their positive patterns. When someone's main focus is on what he has done right already, he will continue to keep developing his good points.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 45)

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#1010   Respect For Other People

Your respect for other people comes from your deep awareness that they are created in the Almighty's image. Therefore you never treat anyone else condescendingly. You never belittle anyone. You realize that everyone has something you can learn from. You realize that you need to respect everyone you encounter. This way of interacting with others is an expression of humility.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 39)

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#1011   Write Notes of Praise and Admiration

Written positive feedback notes are more effective than verbal statements. When someone speaks or acts in especially positive ways, write short notes to that person expressing your admiration for what he said or did. This is especially valuable for parents, teachers, spouses, and mentors to do.

People have saved self-image building notes for ten, twenty, and thirty years. Imagine how you would feel if you knew that an image-building note you sent would be a cherished memento even thirty years later. At the very least you will bring a smile to someone's face.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 49)

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#1012   Let Positive Stories Add To Your Self-Image

People love stories. The stories you read and hear about great people are stored in your brain. You become a bit greater yourself with each positive story. Knowing how great people spoke and behaved makes it more likely that you will speak and act with similar patterns. Of course, we won't immediately act exactly like every great person we read and hear about, but we will improve.

The elevating and inspiring stories you read and hear about are part of the process of building your self-image: "I am a person who has added another story about positive thoughts, words, and actions into my brain and mind."

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 51)

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#1013   Progress

Every single human being you ever met, heard about, or read about started his life as an infant. Regardless of how much knowledge anyone has gained, he didn't have it when he was one day old. He needed to learn it piece by piece. Regardless of how much anyone has ever accomplished, he wasn't born with the skills and talents to accomplish anything.

How much progress have you already made from the time you were one day old?

Your progress has made you into what you are now. The progress that you will make from now on will create the rest of your life. May you continue to make more and more progress each day of your life.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 55)

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#1014   Not Speaking Against Others

Some people try to build themselves up by speaking against others. They believe that talking about the faults and limitations of others makes themselves seem better and more elevated than those people.

It is a total illusion to think that you are actually building yourself up when you put others down. Speaking against other people is a violation of the Torah commandment to refrain from speaking lashon hara (negative speech). Someone who speaks against others without a practical and constructive purpose is lowering himself by doing so.

Every time you control what you say and don't speak against others, you become a higher and more elevated person.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 61)

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#1015   Do Things Daily That Are Difficult For You To Do

Each and every day, say or do at least one thing that you find difficult to say or do.

Every time you say something that is difficult for you to say, you build up your self-image: "I am a person who can speak up and say things even thought I find them difficult to say."

Every time you do something difficult, you build up your self-image: "I am a person who can do things even though they are difficult for me to do."

This is a highly empowering self-image booster. This way you will keep saying and doing things that you need to say and do, and you won't be stopped by the thoughts of, "I find it difficult to say or do, so I won't say or do it."

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self-image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 63)

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#1016   Resilience: The Art of Bouncing Back

Build up your ability to be resilient, your ability to bounce back after a fall. As it states in Mishlei (24:25), "A righteous person will fall seven times and rise up." Everyone can fall; the main thing is to get up again.

When you think in terms of building your self-image, you will focus on the fact that you rose up after you fell. Of course, it would be best never to fall at all. But since falling is part of life, build your self-image by keeping your focus on what you are doing right. And when you fall, keep your focus on what you need to do to bounce back.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self-image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 65)

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#1017   Help Others With Their Worries

A person who is worried is depressed. Therefore, when speaking to that person, use positive words of consolation in order to put his heart in a state of joy.

It is a great act of kindness to help someone alleviate his or her feelings of worry. Look for opportunities to help someone overcome worrying.

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 2:25; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")