Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#1118   Do Kindness For Your Children

Parents should view everything they do for their children as an act of kindness. This enables them to feel joy for these otherwise mundane acts.

This is such a valuable attitude that we should all do what we can to influence parents to gain this perspective!

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.149-55)

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#1119   Assess Your Demands

At times we might be much more demanding of others than we realize. Sometimes people comply with our demands - but only with deep resentment.

Try to see things from the point of view of others... and you will be more sensitive to their inner feelings.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.193)

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#1120   Accept Other People's Differences

Accept the fact that no other person is exactly like you. This will save you from many problems in interpersonal relationships.

When the Torah commands us to "love your neighbor as yourself," that obviously means we should have unconditional love for those who are different from us.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.100)

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#1121   The Ultimate in Acceptance

The ultimate in accepting suffering is to accept one's death.

When Rabbi Meir Shapiro, head of the yeshiva in Lublin and originator of Daf Hayomi (the study of one page of Talmud each day), was on his deathbed, he requested that his students come into his room to dance and sing.

Rabbi Shapiro was no longer able to speak, but he wrote down two Hebrew words: "Rak b'simcha" (only with joy). As he was dying, his face was bright with joy, and he kept motioning with his lips: "Only with joy, only with joy..."

(Nitzutzai Ohr Hameir, p.51; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, pp.253)

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#1122   Honor Others With Patience

The Jewish concept is that each individual is created in the image of the Creator. An honorable person is the one who honors others (Ethics of the Fathers 4:1). Being impatient with another human being has aspects of disrespect. Being patient makes you a more honorable person yourself, since your patience is an expression of your respect.

(from Rabbi Pliskin's book "Patience," published by ArtScroll)

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#1123   Accepting Criticism

A person who is serious about self-improvement will be grateful to anyone who points out his faults! (Whereas a person who does not have a strong desire for self-improvement will deny that he has any faults - even those which are blatant.)

Utilize the criticism of others as an opportunity for introspection.

(see Rabbi Yosef Hurwitz of Nevardok - Madraigos Haadam; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#1124   Be Glad You Didn't

When people think about happiness, they usually think about being happy for positive things that occur. Rabbi Simcha Zissel of Kelm, (1824-1898) wrote to his students to appreciate what didn't happen. He commented on a puzzling custom that he saw. When a shirt would fall from a clothesline down into the dirt, some people would say, "I am grateful that I wasn't in that shirt." It sort of makes you want to smile, doesn't it?

He explained that people play games and listen to music in order to enjoy life. Developing the habit of being grateful for all the wrong things that didn't occur in your life will add to your daily dose of enjoyment.

When you learn to appreciate what didn't happen, it's mind- boggling how many bad things don't happen to you in one day. I've told some people to make a daily list of ten bad things that didn't happen to them. Some find this unpleasant. And for them there are other paths to appreciation.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.134)

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#1125   Seek and You Shall Find

Every person is obligated to love to do acts of kindness. But how can God legislate that we will "love" doing kindness?!

The concept of loving to do kindness means that it is not sufficient to wait until someone approaches you and asks you to help. Your love of kindness should be so strong that you actively seek out such opportunities.

(see the prophet Michah 6:8; Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian - Lev Eliyahu, vol.1, p.11; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#1126   Peace Of Mind

Peace of mind is one of the greatest pleasures a person can have. Conversely, lack of peace of mind can make one's life constant torture.

A person who has mastered peace of mind has gained everything. To obtain peace of mind, you need to be at peace with your emotions and desires. And you need to be at peace with your Creator."

(see Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv of Kelm - Chochmah Umussar, vol.1, p.255; Rabbi Shlomo Volbe - Alai Shur, vol.1, p.195; Gateway to Happiness, p.72)

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#1128   Focus on the Task at Hand

Our attitude toward obligations should be that only one more day exists, that there is only one thing to accomplish, and you are the only one who can do it.

(Michtevai Chafetz Chaim, p.110; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.150)

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#1129   Congratulate Beforehand

If you know that you will not be able to attend someone's "simcha" (wedding, bar-mitzvah, etc.), it is frequently preferable to wish a "mazel tov" beforehand rather than after. Otherwise the person might be more disappointed when you do not attend.

Although you might be able to correct matters for the future, you will not be able to rectify his hurt feelings in the past.

(Rabbi Yitzhak Hutner - Pachad Yitzchok, Igros Uksovim, p.292; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.261)

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#1130   See Beyond Your Pain

When someone insults you, try to find some good reason why he did it. Maybe he felt he had a right (or even an obligation) to say what he did.

It is difficult to find merit in your insulter, but it is a sign of greatness to be able to overcome negative feelings and judge him favorably.

(Alufainu Mesubalim, pp.79-80; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.308)

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#1131   No Pain No Gain

Remember this fundamental principle of life:

Without hard work, you will not accomplish anything.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian - Lev Eliyahu, vol.1, p.115; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#1132   Appreciate Your Brain

You are the owner of a magnificent brain. Wherever you go, your brain is always with you. You have a lightweight multi-million dollar valuable machine that you take with you at all times. You use this machine to study, to enjoy life, to relate with other people, to make money, to face tests and challenges. Your brain is powerful. If you are reading this, it is your brain that is enabling you to do so. Your brain receives images of the symbols that you are looking at and turns them into words and sentences. Because similar letters and words are stored in your brain's immense library, you are able to make sense of these words and can benefit from them.

The sheer number of pictures, knowledge, and information stored in your brain is awesome. When you think of how relatively small your brain is and what it has stored away in its cells, it is mind-boggling. Whenever you recognize someone it is because that person's picture is stored in your brain. If you recognize any scene, whether you saw it in person, or in a newspaper, book, or magazine, it is because there is a picture of that scene in your brain. This can include gigantic areas and a wide variety of places.

Some people tend to just complain when they can't remember something and take remembering for granted. A person who sincerely wants to master happiness will do just the opposite. Appreciating the power of your brain will give you thousands of joyous experiences.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.85-6)

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#1133   Renew Your Appreciation

Make it a daily practice to view the world as if you were created today. Mentally picture yourself coming into the world for the first time, and observe everything with a freshness. This exercise can transform the mundane into a thrilling experience.

(see Rabbi Noson Tzvi Finkel; Ohr Hatzafun, vol.3, p.84; Gateway to Happiness, p.41)

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#1134   Prevent Unnecessary Sadness

Sadness is often the result of arrogance. When an arrogant person suffers misfortune, he says to himself, "These things should not be happening to a person like myself."

The humble person, however, calmly accepts whatever he is unable to change. Hence he is never needlessly sad.

(Rabbi Pinchos of Koretz in Dor Daiah, p.91; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.177)

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#1135   Be Serenely Unserene

Expecting to be unserene some of the time will make it easier for you to handle your unserene moments. And this will increase your moments of serenity. Have a calm and accepting attitude towards being in distressful states. The calmer you are, the lighter your burden.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.42)

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1136   Prevent Negative Gossip

Gossip is a terribly destructive activity. The problem is, we usually don't mind as long as it's not being spoken about us!

If you ever hear someone needlessly relating negative information about another person, feel compassion for the person spoken against and ask the speaker to stop.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.161)

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#1137   Associate Apologizing With Pleasure

The only reason it is difficult to apologize is because one fears emotional pain.

So if you find it difficult to apologize to someone, visualize yourself apologizing and feeling good about the experience. By creating emotional pleasure for yourself as you apologize, you will motivate yourself to do the right thing.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.119-20)

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#1138   Find the Silver Lining

When things don't work out the way you wish, always look for some positive outcome to the situation working out the way it did.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.205)

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#1139   Correct Without Blaming

When you have a need to correct someone, be resolved not to do so in a blaming manner. The Torah obligates us not to embarrass another person even when we point out his faults and mistakes.

Before criticizing, view the situation from the other person's point of view. Then be careful to speak calmly and tactfully. Carefully edit what you say before you say it.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge,"pp.135-7)

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#1140   Make It Interesting

A person who is able to find fascination in all aspects of living and gaining knowledge is fortunate.

Boredom is distressful.

What are the most monotonous tasks you have to do? There are always creative ways to make things more interesting. Recall some of the ways that you have used to make potentially boring tasks more interesting. Let this be a guide for the future.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge,"pp.139-41)

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#1141   Apologizing Is Elevating

View apologizing as a sign of spiritual strength and emotional courage.

Today, think of someone you have not yet apologized to and apologize to them as soon as possible. Don't worry - whatever their reaction, you will grow from that experience.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.119-20)

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#1142   Restraint Is Uplifting

Every time you refrain from doing something wrong, you elevate yourself.

Feel the elevation. Become aware of every instance you restrain yourself from saying something that might hurt someone, or anytime you feel angry but are careful not to cause others pain.

(Alai Shur, vol.1, p.95)

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#1143   Value Your Clothing

When putting on clothing, give thought to all the benefits you gain from your clothing.

Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz related that he once borrowed woolen gloves on a freezing winter day. While he frequently took gloves for granted, on that occasion he greatly appreciated them. The gloves were not worth a large amount of money, but it was a tremendous relief to wear them. From this he gained an appreciation for all the wool he saw.

(see Daas Chochmah Umussar, vol.3, p.67; Gateway to Happiness, p.42)