Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#842   Facing Opposition

Frequently, when you spend a lot of time, money, and energy on a worthwhile project, some people will oppose your plans. It is easy to feel discouraged in such situations.

Rabbi Yechezkail Levenstein (Ohr Yechezkail: michtavim, p.53) wrote to someone facing such a challenge, "Don't pay any attention to those opposing your work. Every worthwhile project will face some obstacles and opposition." When you realize that it is normal for people to oppose you when you try to accomplish, you will find it much easier to tolerate and overcome the difficulties of that opposition.

(Gateway to Happiness, p.374)

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#843   True Ambition

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler wrote: "When you have a true ambition for something, you will not give up hope. Giving up hope is a sign that you are lacking ambition to achieve that goal."

(Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol. 1, p.60 ; Gateway to Happiness, p.375)

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#844   Goals Of Communication

An important rule in communicating with others is anticipating how the other person will react. Keep asking yourself, "What is my present goal in what I'm saying?"

Be flexible. If your first approach does not get desired results, try another approach. For example, if you are trying to calm someone and what you say increases his anger, try saying something else or speaking in a different tone of voice.

When one strategy doesn't work, try another. This sounds obvious, but it's amazing how often this simple rule is violated. People tend to continue the familiar even when it does not bring them their desired results.

In communicating with another person always keep your goal in mind and ask yourself, "Am I getting closer or further away from my goal?"

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.263)

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#845   Clarify Your Motivation

How can you clarify if you do good deeds because it's "the right thing to do," or merely to gain honor and approval? Ask yourself, "Would I do this if I were all alone and no one would ever find out about my good deed?"

(Orchos Tzadikim, ch.1; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.278)

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#846   Follow Health Instructions

A famous physician used to relate that in his entire career of treating thousands of patients, he had only one patient who followed his instructions exactly without deviation. The patient was the great sage, Rabbi Yisroel Salanter -- because he regarded doctor's orders as the fulfillment of the Torah obligation to guard one's health.

Someone once came to Rabbi Salanter's room and found him perusing a medical guide to exercise. He had the book open and did every exercise exactly as described -- since the doctor had advised him to do so.

(Tnuas Hamussar, vol.1, p.342; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.265)

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#847   Learn To Differentiate

If your mind is focused on an insignificant incident, it can destroy your happiness if you allow it to. To feel happy, your mind has to be free of pains and misfortunes.

Learn to differentiate between productive thinking about problems as a means of solving them, and counterproductive dwelling on misfortunes which gains nothing positive and destroys your quality of life.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.233)

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#848   Experience Is An Antidote To Fear

Experience is a great antidote to fear. If you are afraid to do something and you actually do it a number of times, it gets easier. When you do something by acting "as if" you had the courage to do it, the actual experiences automatically build up your knowledge that you can do that thing you previously feared to do.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#849   There Is No Time Limit On Gratitude

There is no time limit on gratitude. If you realize in the present that you hadn't expressed gratitude to someone for something that he did for you a long time ago, don't think that it's too late to express gratitude. Whenever you remember past kindnesses and favors done, express your thoughts and feelings of gratitude now.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights: Artscroll Publishers)

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#850   Courage is a State

Courage is a state. You don't have to be a person who feels courageous all the time in order to speak and act with courage. You can be in a joyous state for a few minutes, even if you aren't always joyous. You can be in a serene state for a while, even if you aren't always serene. You can be in a centered and balanced state, even if you aren't always this way. The same applies to courage.

We all have the ability to access a state of courage. At times we might find this easy, and at times it could be difficult. The more times you practice accessing courage, the easier it will become -- even in situations where you previously weren't able to do so.

(from Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#851   Take a Mental Note

It is easy to take mental capabilities for granted. Don't.

Try to feel pleasure in your ability to speak and think. Appreciate that you can study wisdom. Even the greatest scholar should appreciate his ability to pronounce words, to read sentences, and to study the basics.

A person who masters this appreciation will live a life of joy.

(see Ohr Hatzafun, vol.3, pp.85-6; Gateway to Happiness, pp.41-2)

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#852   Choose to Concentrate

Some people find that as soon as they open a book for serious study, intrusive thoughts creep in which disturb concentration. These may be memories of the past, worries about the future, recent quarrels and arguments.

Therefore, difficulty in concentration does not stem from a lack of thinking ability, but rather as a result of the power of one's imagination. By calmly pushing away those extraneous thoughts, you will be able to achieve greater concentrate on the task at hand.

Today, before you begin a certain task, try verbalizing your intentions. Telling yourself aloud how you want to apply your mind for a certain period of time often works to block out extraneous thoughts.

(see Alai Shur, vol.1, p.24; Rabbi Noah Weinberg's 48 Ways to Wisdom; Gateway to Happiness, p.84)

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#853   Kindness Helps You Too

When you do acts of kindness for others, you are really being kind to yourself. Other people will do acts of kindness for you in return. Moreover, the Almighty will reward you for the good that you do for others.

When you behave meanly to people, you are acting against your own best interests, because others will repay you in kind.

Resolve to do at least one act of kindness for someone each day.

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 11:17; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")

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#854   Viewing Misfortune As Good

The brothers Rabbi Shmelke and Rabbi Pinchos asked the Maggid of Mez'ritch, "The Talmud (Brachos 54a) says that a person is obligated to bless the Almighty for misfortune with the same joy as when one blesses for good fortune. How is it possible to fulfill this obligation?"

The Maggid advised them to put the question before Rabbi Zushe who was extremely poor and lacked even basic necessities. Though he had many difficulties in his life, he was always happy. They went to the study hall where they found Rabbi Zushe, and told him the Maggid said he would explain how it is possible to bless the Almighty with joy over misfortune.

"I'm surprised that our Rabbi sent you to me about this," replied Rabbi Zushe. "You should rather ask someone who suffered some misfortune in his life. I have never experienced anything bad in my life. Only good things have happened to me."

(see Gateway to Happiness, pp.65-6)

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#855   Everything is for the Good

Do not worry about possible misfortunes, since ultimately everything the Almighty does is for our good.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.161)

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#856   Enjoy Your Blessings

The moment a poor person gains great wealth, he feels tremendous joy and is sincerely grateful to the Almighty. After a while, he usually forgets the initial joy and no longer takes pleasure in what he has. His focus shifts to trying to obtain more wealth. Regardless of what he has now, it is not considered sufficient.

Contrast this with the person who is aware that every single moment he and his wealth are entirely dependent on the will of the Creator. He constantly feels the original joy anew -- because this moment is not dependent on the previous one.

(Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin - Ruach Chaim 4:1; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.144)

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#857   Opportunities For Growth

If you have a positive attitude toward events of your life, even though to an outside observer your life might seem full of suffering, you nevertheless will live a happy life. What to others might seem misfortunes, you will view as opportunities for spiritual growth.

(Ohr Hanefesh, vol.1, pp.157-8; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.238)

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#858   Time Is For Growth

"Time is money," is an often-repeated cliche of the impatient.

Yes, it might be. But to the wise, time is for character development. Money is external to you. Your character is who you are. It is your essence. Developing your character is more precious than anything money can buy.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Patience")

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#859   Respond To Arguments With Honest Humility

Respond to the outbursts of others with humility. Agree with any truth you see in their statement. By agreeing with part of the person's comments, you are likely to calm him down. ("Yes, I was inconsiderate." "I agree with you that I can improve." "That was a stupid thing I did.")

Conversely, when you try to defend yourself, an angry person will usually keep up his attack. Arguing with him adds fuel to the fire. When you agree with him, however, he will see that he has no reason to keep arguing since you already agree with him. Some people find this difficult to do, but try this a few times, and you will see that it works wonders.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.204)

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#860   Care For Your Health

The Torah obligates you to be as careful as possible not to do anything damaging to your health.

When you do something to guard your heath, elevate your behavior from merely a routine procedure, to the awareness of performing a mitzvah.

(Deuteronomy 4:15; Talmud - Brachot 32b; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.265)

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#861   There's Always Something You Can Do

Someone in a difficult situation wrote to Rabbi Yitzchok Hutner, "There is nothing I can do to change the situation." Rabbi Hutner replied, "We always have the ability to pray. There is tremendous power in a chapter of Psalms when it is said with a broken heart and deep feeling."

(Pachad Yitzchok, Igros Uksovim, p.237; Gateway to Happiness, p.374)

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#862   Happiness Comes From Within

In the Talmud (Pirkei Avos 4:1), Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from every person. Who is strong? He who conquers his desires. Who is rich? He who is satisfied with what he has. Who is honored? He who honors others.

The Torah is teaching us to not to seek or demand happiness through any external factors, but rather to depend only on ourselves.

How do we see this concept expressed? The wise man learns from everyone (independent of any intellectual deficiencies in himself); the honorable person honors others (independent of whether others honor him); the wealthy person is satisfied with what he has (independent of how much or little he owns).

(see Daas Chochmah Umussar, vol.3, p.250)

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#863   Acquire Inner Wealth

Only what you have acquired spiritually is truly yours. Therefore your main focus in life should be on acquiring positive inner traits.

A person who seeks only to increase his external possessions is lacking internal possessions, which are what really count.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.3, p.291; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#864   Challenges For Growth

The goal of all education, preaching, and instruction is the development of mature individuals who will understand that difficulties in life are Divine-ordained challenges to overcome and opportunities for growth, and not excuses for defeat.

(Rabbi Aaron M. Brafman; The Jewish Observer, Dec.1982; Gateway to Happiness, p.388)

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#865   Be Patient In Your Growth

Be patient in your efforts to integrate and internalize new ideas, tools, and patterns. It is normal to experience ups and downs. Don't let difficulties discourage you. Growth and change are lifetime processes. Feel joy with every degree of improvement.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book "Marriage" - Introduction, p.14)

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#866   Admit The Truth

When you speak to others, admit the truth when they are right.

People often deny the truth because they are afraid that others will look down at them if they admit making a mistake. But in fact, most people will respect you more when they see that you have the moral courage to admit when you are wrong.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4, pp.244-5; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")