Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#717   Everyone Can Be Encouraged

Every successful person in the world has been the beneficiary of encouraging words. Even people who seem to be totally discouraged can be encouraged by the right person at the right time in the right way.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", Introduction)

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#718   Emotional Intelligence to Know What Will be Helpful

It takes emotional intelligence and sensitivity to know exactly what will be helpful and what won't in a given situation. It's easy to make mistakes. But when our goal is to learn from each encounter and each mistake, we will continually be able to improve.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", Introduction)

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#719   Creator Believes You Can Do Worthwhile Things

Since right now the Creator is giving you life, hear Him encouraging you to think, say, or do something worthwhile today. It's as if He is telling you, "I believe in you; you have the ability to think positively, speak positively, and act positively."

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 1)

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#720   Habit of Repeating the Word "Encouragement"

Developing the habit of repeating the word "Encouragement" with an upbeat tone of voice enables you to think of thoughts that will help encourage you. Moreover, by keeping the word "Encouragement" at the forefront of your mind, you will more readily think of encouraging someone else.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 2)

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#721   Thoughts are Powerful; Choose Encouraging Thoughts

Thoughts are powerful. Some thoughts create discouragement. Some thoughts create encouragement.

People who are usually discouraged are discouraged only because of their usual pattern of thinking. People who are usually full of optimism, encouragement, and empowerment are this way only because of their usual pattern of thinking.

Realizing that you only feel discouraged when you think discouraging thoughts can motivate you to gain greater mastery over the direction of your thoughts.

 

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 3)

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#722   Be Grateful to Anyone Who Has Encouraged You Throughout Your Life

Everyone reading this has benefitted from the encouragement of other people at various stages of his or her life. The older you are when reading this, the more encouragement you have needed and the more experiences of encouragement you will have had.

By remembering specific incidents, you will have a greater appreciation for the power of encouragement.

Be grateful to anyone who ever said anything encouraging throughout your life.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 4)

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#723   "Keep Up The Good Work!"

"Keep up the good work!" is an easy and encouraging message to say.

These five words can be tremendously valuable. It's easy to think that when someone successfully does positive things, he will be aware of it and doesn't need to hear this expression of recognition. But at all stages of life we need encouragement.

When we are just starting out, we usually need positive feedback from others to know that we are doing well. This feedback is especially valuable when the encouragement comes from our parents, teachers, mentors, employers, coaches, and anyone else we hold in high esteem.

 

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 5)

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#724   Even People Who Have Failed in the Past, Can Succeed in the Future

People with a history of failure who then succeed can serve as powerful role models for success. They know from experience that the past does not equal the present and the future. They realize that past failures don't have to discourage us; only not trying is a one hundred percent guarantee of not accomplishing. As long as we are open to learning from our mistakes, we can improve in the future.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 6)

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#725   Who Makes You Feel Encouraged? Discouraged? What is the Difference?

A question that can help you gain insight into your patterns of being encouraged or being discouraged is: Who makes you feel encouraged? What do they say and do that you find helpful? Now think of someone who makes you (or has made you) feel discouraged. What was it about the way they spoke or acted that contributed to you feeling discouraged?

Recognizing the differences in styles, in words spoken, in attitudes conveyed, and other contributing factors can help you gain valuable insight. Each individual is unique and different. So you personally might find someone encouraging to you but another person might not find themselves encouraged by that same person. And someone who arouses your feelings of discouragement might help someone else feel encouraged by the same person, or by a similar situation.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 7)

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#726   Flattery Versus Authentic Encouragement

There is a major difference between authentic encouragement and insincere flattery.

Insincere flattery doesn't have the same power to impact another person. Insincere flattery might be made up of positive words. But the person saying them doesn't have the necessary feelings, even if he does have good intentions. The words are even less powerful if the intentions are purely manipulative.

Authentic encouragement is when you sincerely believe in someone's abilities. The words of authentic encouragement flow from your heart. They have the ability to penetrate someone else's heart and mind. The person knows that you actually believe in him. This is conducive for him believing in himself.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 8)

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#727   Get Back on the Horse and Try Again

There is a well-known metaphor of someone who falls off his horse and lands on the ground. Everyone advises him to, "Get right back on the horse and try again."

Some people find this advice relatively easy to follow. "Yes, this time I fell off, but I'll keep trying again and again. Eventually I will master the skill of horseback riding."

But some people find this very difficult and challenging. The next time they approach the horse they imagine falling off. They feel embarrassed. Their anxiety level is high. They tell themselves, "I've failed once, so I'll probably fail again and again."

So too when we want to learn and master a skill: We must try again. And then try again. And then try again. We keep trying until we master the desired skill.

Don't allow a mistake or a failure to create long lasting discouragement. If you can, encourage yourself. If you can't encourage yourself, find someone willing to offer words of encouragement.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 9)

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#728   Strengthen Your Will

"Nothing can stop a strong will." This powerful phrase has motivated and encouraged many people throughout time. And it's not even literally true.

Of course there are many things that can stop even the strongest will. But a strong will beats a weaker will. We don't really have ways to measure the strength a strong will. But we can all feel it. When we have a strong will to do something, we try much harder. We don't let obstacles prevent us from doing all we can.

Your will power is up to you. You don't need anyone's permission to build a strong will.

When people believe in us and encourage us, it's easier to have a strong will. When people don't believe in us and say discouraging things, it's easier to feel discouraged. But it's humanly possible to discount negativity. Regardless of anyone's comments, we have the inner power to realize that the speaker is not a prophet. This person can discourage us only if we let his words get into our minds and create our reality. Don't let it.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 10)

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#729   Truly Believing in the Person You are Encouraging

There is a major distinction between just saying the "right words" versus truly believing in the abilities and potential of the person you wish to encourage.

Saying encouraging words only because you know it's the right thing to do, but not believing in what you are saying, will limit the effectiveness of your words. Your negative feelings will come through in your tone of voice, facial expression, and posture, despite your encouraging words.

When you sincerely and authentically believe in someone's abilities and potential, your inner confidence and certainty will be obvious in your tone of voice, facial expression, and posture.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 11)

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#730   The Ingredient that Makes all the Difference

We all want to live happy lives. To live an authentically happy life, we need to be grateful for all the good we experience in life.

As a reader of the material in this book commented, "I had thought of all types of reasons why I wasn't as happy as I wished to be. Now I realize that I was missing gratitude. This is the ingredient that makes all the difference."

Gratitude is the fundamental attribute that is a foundation of being happy throughout our lives.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights: Artscroll Publishers)

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#731   It's an Act of Kindness to Encourage Someone

As a general principle: If someone feels that he needs encouragement, it's an act of kindness to say what you can to encourage him.

Some people might seem like they don't need encouragement, but they really do. They do not always feel as confident as they would have a right to feel. Your sincere words of encouragement might be just what they need to hear to take action.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 13)

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#732   Two People With Seemingly Similar Lives

Two people can have lives that seem very similar from the outside. They both can have what seems to be a good life. They have nice homes, plenty of food, a fine family, good jobs. Yet the quality of their lives can be polar opposites. One lacks gratitude. He is always dissatisfied and unhappy. He always focuses on what he considers to be missing. He always has complaints. He creates negativity wherever he goes.

The other has mastered gratitude. He lives a more spiritual life. He is always grateful and joyful. He always has a good word to say about others. He is a pleasure to be around. He is constantly in a state of well-being. He consistently makes others feel good.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights: Artscroll Publishers)

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#733   The Habit of Asking

When you know what has encouraged a specific person in the past, you are likely to know what might encourage this person in the present. Develop the habit of asking people, "What have you found encouraging?"

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 14)

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#734   Encourage Feeling Joyful for Progress

People who continue striving for their goals and ambitions have something in common. They feel good about progress. Even if the progress is not as fast as they would have wished, they feel encouraged to keep on striving.

The greatest coaches, mentors, and teachers let their students know that they are making progress. Sometimes this improvement is large and obvious. But sometimes progress is slow. The person who is making progress might not realize how much is changing. But the coach, mentor, or teacher who sees the progress can point it out and make it more noticeable.

Some people realize that they are making progress, but they focus on how hard it is to make progress. By focusing on the difficulty of what they have to do, it seems more difficult. As some people say, "Yes, I know that I am making progress. But it's taking so long and it takes so much effort that I feel bad all the time."

When an individual experiences joy for moving forward, he feels that all of his effort is paying off. He knows that he might have a long way to go to reach his goal and destination. But the entire journey is enjoyable. Since he feels good about what he has to do, it becomes much easier.

Get in the habit of telling people you want to encourage, "I see your progress. That's wonderful. May you be blessed with much strength to keep on going."

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 16)

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#735   Encourage Focusing on Daily Highlights

Everybody's life has many highlights. Those are special moments that can be special for a wide variety of reasons. You might have done something special. You might have met someone who is very inspiring or enlightening. You might have read an article or an excerpt from a book that impacted you deeply. Someone might have said something to you that you want to remember for as long as you live.

Some of the highlights of our lives we don't actually remember but we are certain they happened. Take for example the day that you took your first step. Parents are thrilled when we took our first step. We usually don't remember it ourselves, but the very fact that we are walking means that we took a first step.

The day that we said our first word is another highlight that now we don't remember but it was a highlight for our parents. And it's a major highlight in our own lives.

Imagine how positive your life could be if you focused daily on creating highlights and remembering them.

It's never too late to start a highlight list. Right now if you were to write down ten highlights, what would they be?

Encourage people to focus on their highlights by asking, "What are some of your recent highlights?" 

 

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 18)

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#736   Encourage People to Give Up Resentment

Almost everyone who wants to hold onto resentment will have plenty of reasons and justifications to explain why they are resentful.

But a mind full of gratitude, kindness, and joy will not want resentment to rob them of their happiness. Conversely, a mind full of resentment will be full of happiness-robbing thoughts and emotions. In short, happy people have no room for excessive resentment, even if justified. And resentful people will have no room for happiness-producing thoughts.

So it's a matter of choice. Happiness or resentment. It won't be both.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 20)

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#737   What Am I Grateful For Right Now?

A student told me that his father had a habit that used to annoy him. It was a minor habit, but he found it irritating. His father would frequently say, "You know" when he spoke. As politely and respectfully as he could, he had pointed this out to his father. His father told him that he wasn't aware of this, and he would try to avoid it. But this habit was so entrenched that it wasn't so easy to just stop saying, "You know." As his father would say, "You know, everyone has such habits."

I suggested to the son that when his father said, "You know," he should think to himself, "What am I grateful for right now?" Let the habit of his father create the habit in his own mind of asking this gratitude enhancing question.

The son reported to me, "First of all, I have a tremendous amount of things to be grateful for about my father. In a short time, my mind would think of, ‘What are you grateful for right now?' whenever I heard anyone say, ‘You know.' Now I am even grateful that my father says, ‘You know,' since it has made me a much more grateful person."

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights: Artscroll Publishers)

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#738   Encourage People to Ask for Forgiveness

There are many situations when a person might be obligated to ask for forgiveness but finds it very difficult to do.

Some people refuse to ask for forgiveness because they are shy. It's difficult for them to approach people for favors. It is even more difficult for them to ask for forgiveness.

Some people refuse to ask for forgiveness because of arrogance and conceit. They have low self-esteem and self-worth and feel that it would be lowering themselves to ask someone for forgiveness.

Some people blame the victim for what they themselves did wrong. Therefore they feel they have no reason to ask for forgiveness. "It was really his fault that I said and did what I did. So why should I ask for forgiveness?"

Some people imagine all kinds of negative things happening if they ask for forgiveness. Their vivid imaginations create a story of the way they will suffer and lose out.

These and many other possibilities might make it very challenging for a person to take the initiative to ask someone to forgive them. This gives you an opportunity to do a great act of kindness. If you know someone did something wrong, encourage him to ask for forgiveness.

"You are not lowering yourself by asking," you can say. "Rather, you are elevating yourself. It takes spiritual strength and courage to ask for forgiveness. When you do, you build yourself emotionally and spiritually."

When someone realizes that you will respect him even more for asking for forgiveness, it will make it easier for him to ask.

 

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 21)

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#739   Shabbos: A Day Of Gratitude

Shabbos is the ultimate day of celebration. Everything else that a person can celebrate in this world is minor and miniscule compared to what we celebrate on Shabbos. On Shabbos we celebrate the creation of the entire universe and everything in it.

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: THANK YOU! Gratitude: Formulas, Stories, and Insights: Artscroll Publishers)

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#740   Encourage People to Try to Make Peace

Imagine that you are a personal student of the great Sage Hillel. You admire and respect his exemplary character traits. His extreme patience is one of a kind. His love for each and every person enables him to focus not only on the positive qualities of people but also on their potential for being and becoming even greater people.

If you asked Hillel for an easily understandable guiding principle for living a wonderful life, Hillel in his modesty would never say, "Be like me." Rather he would tell you, "Be like Aharon, Moshe Rabbeinu's older brother, and the first High Priest who devoted his life to serving the Creator." Hillel taught all of us, "Be a student of Aharon. Love peace and pursue peace. Love people and bring them close to Torah." (Pirkei Avos, ch. 1)

Aharon saw the potential for peace in everyone. If two friends were quarreling, Aharon figured out a strategy for enabling them to become friends again. When a husband and wife weren't getting along, Aharon knew what to say to ignite their previous love and respect for each other.

Learn from all the disciples of Aharon whom you have met or heard about or read about.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 21)

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#741   "What Can I Say to This Person to Encourage Him?"

If you're committed to encouraging others, ask yourself, "What can I say to this person to encourage him?"

Asking ourselves the right questions will enable us to bring out the best in ourselves and the best in others. Your brain searches its database to come up with a potential answer. A successful salesman asks himself, "What can I say to motivate this person to buy what I want to sell him?" A person interviewing for a job will ask himself, "What can I say to show that I have the qualifications to be successful on the job?"

Because you know that everyone needs encouragement and that you can greatly enhance someone's life by saying words of encouragement, train yourself to automatically ask, "What can I say to this person to encourage him in beneficial ways?"

  The more frequently you ask yourself this question, the more experience and expertise you will gain in this area.

 

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Encouragement", chapter 24)