Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

[phkrause]

#666   Learn to Cheer Up Others

The Chafetz Chaim wrote: "When you see that someone is sad, there is an obligation to try to console him. This is a fulfillment of the mitzvah (good deed) of comforting mourners, which includes helping anyone overcome emotional suffering."

For this reason, even if you do not become sad easily, still try to find beneficial ideas for overcoming sadness. Although you might not need them, others will -- and you will be doing an act of kindness by helping them.

(Ahavas Chesed 2:2; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.183)

[phkrause]

#667   Act On Your Fears

Make an effort to do the actions you fear to do and by this means lessen those fears. Think of a specific fear that stops you from doing something that would be beneficial for you to do, and take action.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.233)

[phkrause]

#668   Quitters can be Winners

"Quitters are losers!"

This is frequently true, but not always. Of course it's a mistake to quit prematurely. But at times, quitters will be winners since they devote their newfound time, money, and energy on a project that seems more likely to succeed.

Weigh the entire picture to figure out your best course of action. But don't let fear of quitting lead you in the wrong direction.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

[phkrause]

#669   Stare Wars

The more comfortable one feels about oneself, the less being stared at will be considered a problem. In reality, there is no practical difference if one walks down an empty street or a street full of people staring.

Those with vivid imaginations have the ability to imagine that the streets are full of people cheering and wishing one well. For those who might argue that this is not real, neither is being intimidated by being stared at. The main difference is that the cheering imagery is much more enjoyable than experiencing anxiety because of others' stares.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

[phkrause]

#670   Rejoicing for Others

When we are personally suffering, and then invited to take part in someone's joyous occasion, we should make a special effort to put our suffering aside and rejoice in the other's good fortune. This is very difficult and takes much strength. Exactly for this reason, it is so elevating.

(Ohr Hanefesh, vol.1, p.8)

[phkrause]

#671   Find Merit in Others

The Almighty loves those who constantly find merit in others.

Right now, think of someone you have been critical of. Now find something meritorious about that person.

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 16:13; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")

[phkrause]

#672   It's In Your Mind

Self-confidence is created and stored in your mind. What is wonderful about this is that your mind is always with you, day and night and in all seasons, wherever you go.

  Everyone has moments of self-confidence There are memories of self-confidence stored in every person's brain. This is true of every person alive. And it is true for you.

  All your positive experiences of self-confidence are recorded in your brain.

((Self-confidence, chapter 1 – Artscroll Publications))

[phkrause]

#673   You Already Own Self-Confidence

You are already the owner of self-confidence. Claim your ownership. You don't have to travel to pick it up. It doesn't cost anything.  It can be found in your brain and mind.

  Say out loud: "I am the owner of a tremendous amount of self-confidence.

I will keep gaining a stronger and greater awareness of how easy it will be for me think, feel, speak, and act with self-confidence."

(Self-confidence, chapter 1 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#674   Limiting Thoughts Are Just History

Earlier thoughts about your self-confidence or lack of it are just history.

It's how you think right now that makes a difference.

Thinking that you are limited by your history is just that: a thought.

It's a thought about a thought. Your current positive thought about your upgraded self-confidence can replace and override a needlessly limiting thought.

(Self-confidence, chapter 2 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#675   Change Your Focus

There is a common tendency for people to focus on what they don't want.

 Repeating that we don’t have self-confidence, or that our self-confidence is low, directs our focus on what we don't want. Instead, when we say, "My goal is to continually keep upgrading my self-confidence," we are focusing on what we do want.

(Self-confidence, chapter 3 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#676   Self-Confidence Helps You Reach Your Goals

Imagine what goals you would set for yourself if you would be in your ideal state of mind Using your ability to remember your greatest moments of self-confidence, recall some moments when you felt very self-confident. With your ability to use your imagination, imagine yourself acting extremely self-confident, imagine yourself acting extremely self-confident in the future. Now give yourself permission to imagine being given the gift of super great self-confidence.

Realize that the only limits to your imagination are the limits you put on yourself. Therefore make it a daily habit to imagine yourself having high levels of self-confidence.

(Self-confidence, chapter 4 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#677   Enjoy Helping Others

Experiencing joy in doing acts of kindness for others will increase the quantity and quality of your kind acts. When you enjoy doing things to help others, you will always be able to find enjoyable things to do.

The life of a person who loves to do acts of kindness will be a life of joy.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book Kindness)

[phkrause]

#678   Self-Talk For Building Self-Confidence

We human beings talk to ourselves all day long. This is also known as "thinking." We keep up a running commentary about a multitude of things each day.

If your self-talk tends to minimize or lower your self-confidence, right now you can choose to use better, higher, and wiser self-talk.

Just being aware of what you are telling yourself about your self-confidence can be very beneficial. If you already say things that are positive and helpful, choose to keep the same pattern. You can even improve your positive self-confidence with even greater self-talk about your self-confidence.

(Self-confidence, chapter 5 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#679   The Power of Affirmations

Affirmations are powerful. They work for us or against us. Every statement we tell ourselves about who we are and what we find possible is really an affirmation. Positive affirmations build us. Negative affirmations do the opposite. So right now you can tell yourself a great affirmation: "I choose better, higher, and wiser self-talk each and every day."

(Self-confidence, chapter 5 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#680   Your Mind Impacts Every Experience

We all have a constant flow of thoughts and mental pictures in our minds.

These mental creations have a tremendous impact on how we feel, what we say and how we say it, and what we do and don't do.

People who are self-confident have very different mental pictures and thoughts than people who lack self-confidence. People who feel very insecure feel that way because of what they say to themselves and what they picture about the past and the future. When they upgrade their self-talk and their mental images, they experience life very differently.

(Self-confidence, chapter 6 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#681   Masters of Self-Confidence

Masters of self-confidence have the ability to see and hear themselves being self-confident. Even if you don't yet consider yourself to be a master of self-confident, right now you too can choose to see and hear yourself being self-confident. It's up to you at any given moment.

[phkrause]

#682   Danger Alert

The purpose of danger is to bring us close to the Almighty. Those who use a dangerous event to elevate themselves become closer. Those who fail to do so become further away from Him.

In time of danger, it is against the Torah outlook to peacefully go about your business. Not paying attention and laughing off a situation shows a lack of recognition of the Almighty's involvement in our lives.

(Kovetz Inyanim, p.7; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.167)

[phkrause]

#683   Sadness Hardens the Heart

Sadness itself might not be a transgression, but no transgression hardens the heart as much as sadness.

(Rabbi Chanoch of Alexander; Siach Sarfai Kodesh, vol.1, p.115; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.171)

[phkrause]

#684   Not Feeling Slighted

A self-aware public figure once said, "When I enter a room and people stand up for me, it hurts me. But it hurts even more when they don't stand up."

Some people might think that they are not honor-seekers because they feel embarrassed when someone tries to honor them. A more accurate criteria is how they feel when others do not show them honor and respect. A person who has overcome his demand for honor will not feel hurt when others do not honor him.

(Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.281)

[phkrause]

#685   Enjoy The Effort

When you toil in Torah studies, feel joy in your efforts even if you have not achieved your desired goal. It is a mistake to feel discouraged and to consider yourself unsuccessful if you have sincerely toiled in your studies. The toiling itself is success and you can feel satisfaction and joy.

(Rabbi Noson Wachtfogel, of blessed memory, mashgiach of Lakewood Yeshiva, Sichos Mussar, p.71; see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.99)

[phkrause]

#686   Making the Self-Confidence Decision

I know people who consciously decided to be happy a number of years ago, and they have been happy ever since. Despite the everyday frustrations that cause many people stress, they are able to maintain their feelings of well-being. If they temporarily lose those feelings of well-being, they are able to quickly bounce back.

The same resilience applies to self-confidence. People who consciously decide to be self-confident are able maintain their thoughts and feelings of self-confidence. This decision is not a vow or an oath. Rather, it is the awareness that everyone is entitled to a genera state of self-confidence.

(Self-confidence, chapter 10 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#687   Your Personal Story About Your Self-Confidence

We all tell ourselves our life story. Even if a person doesn't consciously recognize that he is telling himself a story about his life, his life story has a major impact. Everyone's story about his life has major themes running through it. Some people have a highly spiritual life story. Some people have life stories about developing positive character traits while others don't.  Some life stories are full of gratitude, others aren't.

Even if someone isn't satisfied with his life story until now, he can choose to change the theme of his life story at any given moment. It's never too late.

This concept of our personal life stories applies to our thoughts about our self-confidence. What stories do you tell yourself about your self-confidence? Change the way you view your life story to improve your self-confidence.

When you think about different situations that might arise in your life, see yourself thinking, speaking and acting with greater self-confidence.

These thoughts will lead to improved words and actions.

(Self-confidence, chapter 11 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#688   Self-Confidence to Ask Questions

People with higher levels of self-confidence feel comfortable asking questions. People with lower levels of self-confidence might feel that they don't have a right to ask questions. They might worry that the person they ask might be critical of them for asking. Or they might worry about appearing deficient for not knowing the answers.

If a lack of self-confidence ever prevents you from asking a pertinent question, ask yourself, "If I had greater self-confidence, what would I ask right now?"

Then, even if you feel a bit uncomfortable about asking, realize you can speak up and ask. Once you do, you will have a breakthrough. You will have proven to yourself that feeling uncomfortable about asking a question doesn't need to stop you from asking.

(Self-confidence, chapter 12 – Artscroll Publications)

[phkrause]

#689   Discover Others' Needs

One of the great developers of character in our generation, Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, has frequently said that the first step to becoming a kind person is to be aware of the specific needs of each person you encounter. "What is this person missing?" is the question which must come to mind.

"It might sound easy," he writes. "But as soon as you try to do this you will see how difficult it really is."

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book Kindness)

[phkrause]

#690   Expect the Unexpected

There is a popular expression in society: "Don't leave anything to chance." This statement contains an implicit expression of arrogance and lack of awareness of the Almighty.

If your peace of mind is dependent on being certain that you have complete control over a situation and all the possibilities that might arise, you are bound to be disappointed. It is arrogant (as well as an impossibility) to think you have the omniscience to foresee every inevitability. To demand the impossible is to guarantee frustration.

Always realize the unexpected can occur. Plan as much as is appropriate, but realize that regardless of how much you plan there will be always be difficulties you had not previously imagined. By "expecting the unexpected" and being willing to accept it, you will have much greater peace of mind than if you unrealistically expect complete control.

(see Michtav M'Eliyahu, vol.1, p.188; Gateway to Happiness, p.83)