Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#616   As We Think, So We Are

Regardless of where a person actually is physically, he is really where his thoughts are. A person constantly has a choice to think elevated and uplifting thoughts - or negative, self-destructive thoughts. How old you feel is greatly dependent on your attitude about yourself. Elderly people can increase their vitality and vigor by considering themselves young.

We constantly talk to ourselves. We can choose to be our own best friend by telling ourselves positive thoughts, or our own worst enemy by repeating negative thoughts.

(see Toras Yitzchok, p.53; Gateway to Happiness, pp.51-2)

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#617   Feel Spiritual Pleasures

A person can easily feel the pleasure of giving into negative desires. When a person finds it difficult to overcome his desires, it is because he lacks an equal feeling of pleasure in spiritual matters.

So to overcome negative desires, we need to feel the pleasure of Torah study as a balance. That's why the prayer recited daily for the mitzvah of Torah study asks to feel the sweetness of Torah study.

(Lev Eliyahu, vol.1, p.177; see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.98)

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#618   As We Believe, So We Are

What a person believes about himself and his abilities is a self-fulfilling prophecy. A person who does not consider himself "important" will not free himself from negative habits.

Believing you are inferior, untalented, unimportant or incapable, influences your abilities. If you view yourself as unable to do things, you will be unable to do them. On the other hand, if you see yourself as talented, capable, and important, your self-concept will open up powers and talents that would have otherwise remained dormant.

Hardly anyone utilizes his entire capabilities. We can accomplish much more than we realize. By raising the perception of your capabilities, you will accomplish more.

(see Rabbi Aharon of Karlin - "Dor Daiah," vol.1, p.167; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.116)

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#619   Show You Care

A caring person is an elevated person. It is a great act of kindness to express your caring for people who might not realize that you care about them.

Today, think of three people who would greatly appreciate your sincere caring. Be resolved to let them know that you care about them as soon as possible.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.143)

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#620   Peace & Pleasure

All the possessions and pleasures of the world are only valuable to the extent they are accompanied by peace of mind. A person who has tremendous riches and can gratify all of his desires, will nevertheless suffer if he lacks peace of mind.

As a rule, the power-hungry and the status-seekers lack this obvious realization. Why work on obtaining power and status when you have the ability to work on something that is much more precious? A peaceful mental attitude and serenity of the soul are the most important factors for happiness.

It is related that when an ancient emperor was about to sail for Italy, an advisor asked him what his ultimate plans were. "To conquer Rome," he replied. "What will be after that?" "To conquer Carthage, Macedonia, and Greece." "And after you have conquered all that, what are your plans?" Then I will be able to spend my life in peace and comfort." "But," queried the wise advisor, "why not be in peace and comfort right now?"

(see Gateway to Happiness, p.72)

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#621   Increase Your Empathy

In order to empathize with the suffering of others, make mental images. When someone experiences suffering and pain, make a picture in your mind as if it were happening to you. Whatever you would want other people to do for you in such a situation, you should do for others.

This is the way to master the attribute of compassion and sharing the burden of others. Compassion may cause us a bit of pain, but it enables us to alleviate the far greater pain of others. Because when someone sees that you are suffering with him or her, it helps alleviate some of their pain.

Today, think of someone you know who is in great pain. Then ask yourself how such a person would most appreciate your help.

(see Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv - Chochmah Umussar, vol.1, p.2)

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#622   True Empathy

When you want to comfort and encourage someone who is brokenhearted and discouraged, do not just act dryly, saying the correct words but without your soul being involved. Do not just mutter platitudes and the standards formulas that people use in these situations.

Rather, comfort them with the completeness of your heart and with your entire soul. Your inner love should be manifest in a sincere smile and manner of speech. Fill your heart with enough love and kindness that these attributes will overflow. Only then will you be successful in alleviating the bitterness and depression.

Next time someone needs comforting, focus on these points and see the difference that it makes.

(see Rabbi Chaim Zaitchyk - Maayanai Hachaim, vol.3, pp.9-10; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#623   Gauge Your Empathy

For a gauge of your empathy level, ask yourself: If a newspaper writes derogatory information against someone, do you enjoy reading it, or do you feel the pain and suffering of the person who it was written against?

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.217)

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#624   Be Independently Wealthy

Attachment makes you emotionally dependent. Become free. Give up your attachments. Allow your happiness in life to be dependent on your own mind and not on anything external. Attachments are normal. We all become attached to people, possessions, our environment and usual circumstances. A master of happiness will appreciate what he or she has while they have them and the moment any specific thing is gone or lost, the focus will be on other things to appreciate and be grateful for. At times, this could be gratitude for the memories that remain. Material and physical objects are temporary, memories are forever.

A master at non-attachment has nothing to worry about. Worry comes from dependence on things remaining the way you wish them to be.

Some people are concerned, "But if I am not attached to something, I won't enjoy it." Just the opposite. You will enjoy it more while you have it. It's like passing by a beautiful garden or sunset. You enjoy the moment. You don't own it and aren't attached to it. Therefore your enjoyment of it is total and complete.

A spiritual consciousness is that as long as it is the will of your benevolent omniscient and omnipotent Father in Heaven that you should have something, you will have it. When your having it has served your ultimate mission in life, you no longer need this. You need other things. And you will always have exactly what you need to fulfill your purpose in this world.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's "Happiness",p.229-30)

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#625   Happiness Is Healthy

Sadness and depression cause many illnesses and much damage. It is of utmost importance to think positive thoughts and obtain happiness.

(Likutai Aitzos - Simchah; no.30; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.170)

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#626   Feeling Wealthy

To feel wealthy, you need to feel you have everything you want. A person who overcomes his desires for things he cannot afford or obtain considers himself wealthy regardless of how others would rate him.

(Toras Yitzchok, p. 228; Gateway to Happiness, p.357)

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#627   Speak With Love And Compassion

Speak with sincere heartfelt compassion and understanding, and you will often see an immediate transformation in the person with whom you are interacting. Someone who was just angry, upset, or resentful will quickly become a much softer, open person. Add sincere, unconditional, selfless love, and inevitably you will see this transformation even in people who others call "difficult, challenging, or even impossible."

This type of true inner feeling takes time and patience to develop.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book "Marriage", Chapter One, pp.28-9)

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#628   Peace Of Mind Essential For Growth

Peace of mind is essential for obtaining many virtues. Its absence leads to all types of shortcomings. When you have peace of mind, you can use your mind constructively. Lack of peace of mind breeds anger and resentment.

The quality of one's prayers and blessings is dependent on the mastery of one's thoughts. Above all else, one's ability to study Torah properly is based on having peace of mind.

(see Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz; Daas Chochmah Umussar, vol.3, p.169; Gateway to Happiness, p.73)

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#629   Care For Others Material Concerns

One aspect of caring about people is respecting their property and protecting their money.

It is a kind deed to return lost objects, to give suggestions about how to buy things economically, to prevent damage to possessions, and to prevent needless waste.

In other words, caring for the material and financial concerns of others is a matter of your own spirituality!

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book Kindness)

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#630   You Are A Soul

Only bodies experience stress. Souls are serene. Identify with your soul; stress and tension will melt away.

Your essence is not your negative thoughts and distressful feelings. Your essence is you soul. If you are stressed, or tense, or worried, or frustrated, or upset, mentally step back and observe your thoughts and feelings. This will immediately help you gain a more objective perspective.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.101)

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#631   Ask What You Can Do

When it comes to doing kindness for others, don't wait until you are asked. As soon as you recognize a need, volunteer to do something about it. Let your love for kindness be so strong that you cherish each opportunity.

Take the initiative to approach people you can help and don't necessarily wait until they approach you. You don't need a formal invitation to say, "What can I do for you?"

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book Kindness)

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#632   Personal Wealth Is Spiritual

Wealth and success in any area of material endeavor are not virtues that become part of a person himself. There is no intrinsic value added to a wealthy person that a poor person lacks. People are basically the same regardless of how much or little they have. As the popular saying goes, "My wallet can be embarrassed from his wallet. But I myself will not be embarrassed from him."

Contrast this to spiritual matters, such as Torah study and doing good deeds, where the more we grow, the more we ourselves are elevated.

(Bais Halevi - Vayaishev; Gateway to Happiness, p.127)

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#633   Compromise Where Appropriate

Some people keep quarrels running for much longer than is necessary, due to their refusal to compromise.

While we shouldn't compromise on fundamental values, it is wise to compromise on personal preferences - for the sake of maintaining peace with others.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.167-8)

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#634   Correct Without Being Critical

Do not be directly critical of others because this will usually cause them to be defensive. People who do things that are wrong often rationalize that what they have done isn't really wrong. Even the toughest criminals, such as the worst murderers, don't like to admit having done something wrong!

There is a major difference between being critical, and having a positive influence on others by saying things with compassion and true caring. When you sound critical, the person on the receiving end is likely to deny your words, which will be perceived as an attack. And then you won't accomplish anything.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4, pp.244-5; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#635   Live Your Dreams

Others cannot know the full extent of your goals, aspirations, dreams, visions, wishes, hopes, and prayers. These can be much more courageous than anyone else might imagine.

Here it is important to have a mixture of present reality, with believing that the Almighty can enable you to accomplish and become much more than anyone can know.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#636   Be Grateful for all You can Do

Every single day we experience many hundreds of minor pleasures in both the material and spiritual aspects of our lives. We can learn to focus on all these common occurrences and recognize the kindness of the Almighty.

As an exercise in appreciation, try for one hour to feel grateful for every single thing you find yourself doing. When you read, be grateful you can see and read. When you walk, be grateful for the use of your feet. When you talk, be grateful for the ability to communicate with others. For a full hour do not take even the smallest action for granted. Be aware of every detail of what you can do. Anyone who does this daily for even a short time will have a much greater appreciation for everything he does.

(see The Steipler Rav - Birchas Peretz, Aikev; Gateway to Happiness, p.46)

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#637   Be Happy as a Lark

Although humans have a tremendous advantage over animals, you can still learn from animals. They have no worries or anxieties about the future. When you see a bird, dog, cat, fly, or bee, tell yourself, "Let me learn from this creature to live in the present." Learn from these beasts and free yourself from needless thoughts about the future!

It may seem a bit humiliating to have to learn from an animal or insect. But it's even more humiliating not to learn from them!

(Rabbi Yitzchok Blauser - Kochvai Ohr, pp.31-2; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.153)

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#638   Facing Obstacles to Community Work

If you are angered by obstacles beyond your control when trying to accomplish something for the community, the cause of your anger might be your desire for honor and approval. This feeling of anger is negative and does not lead to creativity and ambition.

When someone puts a lot of time and energy into a project, it is understandable that he might become upset when people create obstacles. But the anger won't melt those obstacles. Clear thinking is needed to find the best way to overcome those obstacles. And you think clearest when you are calm.

(Rabbi Eliyahu Meir Bloch; Shiurai Daas, pp.113-4; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.196)

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#639   Leave Room To Learn

"The wise person knows that his wisdom is limited, but the fool thinks he knows everything."

Many people get upset when they discover they made a mistake or realize they do not know as much as they thought they did. This is often based on a person telling himself (albeit not with total awareness) that he already "knows everything." Hence he finds it painful to admit he does not know as much as he thought he did.

A wise man realizes he does not know everything and has pleasure in the quest for new knowledge.

(Chayai Hamussar, vol.1, p.168; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.178)

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#640   Use the Ideas you Learn

Every person is unique. When you read ideas, try focusing on how they relate to you and your individual personality. Some ideas you'll want to incorporate into your world view. Other ideas you may want to share with someone else. In this way, you'll be using those ideas as a tool for doing an act of kindness.

What idea that you heard had the biggest impact on your life? Think of someone you can share that with. If you can't think of a specific person, share it with a stranger. Simply say, "I heard this idea, what do you think about it?"

(see Preface to Gateway to Happiness)