Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#490   Appreciate Constructive Critisism 

A truth seeker will want others to correct him if they see that he is doing something wrong. The more of a truth seeker you are, the more you will actually love criticism.

Of course, everyone prefers praise. But criticism will help us grow. If the criticism is valid, we gain by listening to it regardless of whether it's presented in a sensitive manner. If someone criticizes you in a painful way, use that as a lesson to be careful in giving others negative feedback.

The next time someone offers you a piece of criticism, act as if you love it!

(see Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv - Chochmah Umussar, vol.1, p.438)

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#491   Enjoy the Sun 

There is great pleasure in appreciating the warmth and glow of the sun. Many people only appreciate daylight and sunshine when they feel satisfaction from some financial profit or have just received honor or other pleasures.

Don't overlook the light shining on the world.

(see Toras Avraham, p.443; Gateway to Happiness, p.41)

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#492   The Concept of Tikun 

There is a spiritual concept of "tikun" that gives us a perspective conducive for serenity. Kabbalistically the term "tikun" means "rectification." Difficult and distressful life situations serve as a rectification for one's soul. A person accepts, and is even grateful for, medical treatment that heals and cures even though it can be painful. So, too, knowing that the challenges one faces serve as a benefit for one's eternal soul, makes it easier to maintain serenity when facing difficulties.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.105)

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#493   Solicit Advice on Major Decisions 

The Ralbag wrote, "When making major decisions, even if you think your plans are definitely correct, it is wise to consult others to hear their opinions. They may raise important points you've overlooked.

(Hadaios Vehamidos 40:2; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.264)

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#494   Focus on the Benefit of Doing Mitzvahs 

Whether you subjectively find something easy or difficult, depends to a great degree on the perceived benefit. If there is no gain, then even a minor action might seem difficult. But when you gain an immense fortune by taking some action, even a difficult one is now considered easy.

When you focus on the eternal benefits gained from performing mitzvahs, you will be far less bothered by any difficulties or hardships involved.

(see Dubner Magid - Sefer Hamidos, p.126)

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#495   Review Your Speech 

Every week, review the things you've recently spoken about. If you find that you were careful not to have spoken negatively about others, feel joy and offer a prayer of gratitude.

(see Chofetz Chaim - Chovas Hashmirah, p.20; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.110)

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#496   Be Honest Beyond Reproach 

Even a person who has a reputation for honesty should be careful to avoid doing things that might give others the impression that he is dishonest.

Rabbi Yehuda Leib Chasman once gave a large sum of charity money to a student to distribute. Noticing that the student did not count the money right away, Rabbi Chasman wanted to teach him an important lesson, so he purposely handed over a lesser sum.

The student soon rushed back, upset that some of the money was missing. Rabbi Chasman revealed to the student that he purposely gave him less money so he would learn to be more careful in the future.

(Ralbag; Hadaios Vehamidos 47:1; Tnuas Hamussar, vol.5, p.256; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.260)

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#497   Stop Negative Speech 

Unfortunately, many people are not yet committed to the idea of refraining from negative speech. If you are in the presence of someone as they malign or slander someone, come to the rescue. Have the courage to speak up in defense of the person being spoken against.

This isn't always easy. Build up the strength of character and courage to stop negative speech.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#498   Cut Worrying Down to Size 

Rabbi Leib Dimiles, a wealthy businessman, was also a righteous Torah scholar. Upon receiving news that all his money was lost, he calmly returned to his studies. His wife was shocked: "How can you remain calm in the face of such misfortune?"

Rabbi Leib replied, "Fortunately I have a very quick mind. The amount of worrying that would take someone else a year, I can worry about in a few seconds."

(P'air Vekovod, p.29b; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.168)

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#499   Life helps you Empathize 

Empathy is when you actually feel the pain or pleasure of another person.

View your own distressful and painful experiences as a means of being able to empathize with others when they experience something similar.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.215-7)

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#500   Be Humble, Be Happy 

 

A person who is sincerely humble will be constantly happy. A humble person realizes that nothing is owed him, and therefore feels satisfied with what he has. He does not have expectation of receiving what is above him. He constantly has peace of mind and always feels the joy of life.

(see Rabbi Chaim Meir Hagar; cited in Le'anovim Yitain Chain, P.201; Gateway to Happiness, p.37)

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#501   You can Learn to be Happy 

Happiness is a skill that can be learned. The essential factor whether or not you will live a happy life is based less on external factors such as wealth, success and fame, and more on your attitude toward life, toward yourself, toward other people, and toward events and situations. Regardless of your attitudes in the past, you have the ability to change and become a master of happiness.

Today is the best day to improve your skills. Either things will go EXACTLY the way you want -- and then you can focus on the feeling of joy. Or things will NOT go the way you want and you'll have the opportunity to attain greater mastery over your attitude.

Throughout the day, keep asking yourself: "What attitude will enable me to experience joy and empowerment RIGHT NOW?

(see Preface to Gateway to Happiness)

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#502   Use your Experience to Empathize 

Every difficulty in your life builds up your mental library of what it's like to go through hard times. And every mistake enables you to empathize with others who also make mistakes. And every time you become frustrated or angry, you gain a better understanding of others who feel this way.

Make note of all your worries and your fears. Make note of your uncomfortable or embarrassing moments. These -- together with every injury, illness, and wound -- help you to become more sensitive to the suffering of others.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book Kindness)

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#503   Don't Dwell on Past Events 

It is foolish to waste present moments regretting what is over and done with. Some people constantly say, "If only I hadn't gotten involved in this venture, I wouldn't have suffered." "If only I would have stayed an hour longer, this wouldn't have happened." We are not prophets and there is no possible way to know in advance exactly what will be. Try to protect yourself from harm, but realize that it is impossible to plan for every contingency.

(Chochmah Umussar, no.77; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.146)

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#504   Have the Strength to be Flexible 

Flexibility is a very important tool in interpersonal relations. If you are rigid in your demands, you might frequently get your way -- but you will not have many friends.

Learn to differentiate between what is important and what is not. Someone who feels he must always get his way is telling himself, "If I give in to others, it means I am weak."

The Torah attitude is that honoring others is what makes a person honored.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.139)

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#505   Choose a Worthy Goal and Go For It 

When you have a goal in mind, keep your focus on reaching it, and do not allow yourself to be sidetracked by anything else.

All people who have accomplished in life have set goals for themselves. Think of one goal that would make a major difference in your life. Today, make a commitment to reach that goal.

(see Ralbag - Shaar hacharitzus, no.12)

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#506   The World is a Constant Gift 

The Torah viewpoint is that the Almighty constantly creates the entire world and everything in it for each individual. This concept has the potential to give a person immense pleasure. Think about it for a moment. The Almighty -- Creator and Sustainer of the universe -- is constantly creating for you the sun, the moon, and all the other worldly phenomena. He is constantly bestowing upon you life, and every single second He supplies you with your needs.

(see Rabbi Noson Tzvi Finkel; Tnuas Hamussar, vol.3, p.202; Gateway to Happiness, p.36)

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#507   Joy - "It's Up To Me" Now 

JOY - "IT'S UP TO ME" NOW

I - I create the quality of my life with my ongoing thoughts.

T - The choice of joy or the opposite is mine.

S - See, hear, and feel the way joyful people see, hear, and feel.

U - Unjoy is created by negative T.W.A: thoughts, words, and actions.

P - Perspective makes me happy or unhappy.

T - Talk to yourself the way you would if you were a master of joy.

O - Oneness of humanity gives me many opportunities for kindness.

M - My unconditional joy & love creates a magnificent life.

E - Every moment of joy is stored in my awesome brain and I can access those moments whenever I choose.

"It's up to me" now!!!

Dedicated to the complete and speedy recovery of Rabbi Noah Weinberg, Rosh Hayeshiva of Aish Hatorah, HaRav "Yisroel Noach ben Hinda"

(Copyright 2009, Zelig Pliskin)

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#508   The Biggest Obstacle to Growth 

The biggest obstacle to changing ourselves is discouragement. (Chochmah Umussar, vol.2, p.218)

By adopting the optimistic attitude that you are able to improve, you automatically overcome your greatest obstacle. Believe you can improve and you certainly will be able to. If you are skeptical about your ability to change, your greatest enemy is your skepticism. Once you have overcome that obstacle, the rest will be easier.

(Gateway to Happiness, p.376)

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#509   Accept Material Lack 

If you give up your demands for more possessions and material matters, you will save yourself much needless sadness.

Sadness does not come from lacking possessions, but from your "lack of acceptance" at not having them.

Next time, when you are unable to acquire something, accept that you do not have it -- and avoid adding emotional pain to your practical problem of not having that thing.

Should you avoid material possessions? No. Just don't make oneself sad about those things you do not have.

(Maaneh Rach, ch.5; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.175)

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#510   You Will Get It All Back 

When you act with hostility and aggression toward others, they are likely to respond in a similar manner. When you shout at someone, he is likely to shout back. The reverse holds true if you are caring and cheerful toward others.

Therefore, for purely pragmatic reasons, we should be kind and friendly in dealing with others.

From the Torah perspective, however, this is not merely sound advice. It is an obligation.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, pp. 136-7)

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#511   Create a Courage Part 

If you are not yet able to access a powerful courage state at will, the good news is that you can create a "courage part." Even if you do not feel that you are a courageous person, you can still have one part of you that acts from a place of courage.

If you do not yet have a "courage part," make one. Do a single act of courage, even a minor one. If this does not come easily, use the entire force of your will to say or do something that is difficult for you. Then presto! Your "courage part" is now a reality.

If you cannot yet do this in reality, create your "courage part" by utilizing your power of imagination. Imagine yourself talking and acting with courage. Then your "courage part" can be applied in real life.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#512   It's the Effort that Counts 

Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz used to say, "Who is the righteous person and who is the evil person? Many people think the righteous person is one who does not transgress, and the evil person is one who constantly transgresses. But even the very righteous also transgress and even the very wicked perform good deeds.

"The essential difference between the two is that the righteous person tries to overcome his desire to do wrong, while the evil person does not."

(Alai Shur, vol.1, p.186; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.222)

 

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#513   Serene Time Management 

Serene time management is a balance between two extremes. Some people are overly lax about time. They tend to come late even for important meetings. Others are overly concerned about being on time. They dread being late for anything and this creates a heightened level of tension whenever they must be on time or complete a task by a specific deadline. Those who are lax about being on time create stress for others. Those who are overly concerned about being exactly on time often create stress for themselves when circumstances beyond their control prevent them from being on time. The ideal to strive for is to remain serene, yet consider it important to be on time and to finish tasks and projects by the time that you or others designate for them.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.70)

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#514   Let There Be Light 

There was total darkness in the world until the Creator said, "Let there be light." The Torah states this at the very beginning, said the Chofetz Chaim, to tell us that even in the darkest periods of life, in a flash the Almighty can create light. Repeating these words will bring much light into your life.

Let the image of serene light be a source of creating positive energy for you. Visualize white light going from your head to your toes. Feel all your muscles relaxing. Feel every cell in your body vibrating with healthy energy. Feel that healthy energy cycling again and again. Let this empower you.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.103)