Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#465   Real Intelligence 

It is easy for a person who feels less intelligent than others to have low self-esteem. This is unnecessary. While there are many advantages in having intelligence (for Torah study and other pragmatic reasons), when it comes to basic value of a person, intelligence is not a key factor. You can be righteous regardless of your intellectual ability. Similarly, intelligence is not a decisive factor in whether or not a person will be happy in life.

Since you can be both righteous and happy no matter what your level of intelligence, there is no necessity in feeling less of a person if others seem "smarter" than you.

(Gateway to Happiness, p.123)

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#466   Your Unique Importance 

Every person is obligated to be aware that he has great worth. This does not refer to the illusory self-worth of arrogantly feeling better than others, but a true self-worth, enormous in size and scope. The Talmud says: "Every individual is obligated to say: 'The world was created for me.'" Rashi explains that we must think "I have the importance of an entire world."

Every human is a one-time phenomenon, with a unique blend of character traits and personality. Each is born in a specific time of history and in a specific environment. Never before and never again.

This uniqueness gives you great importance. Only you can accomplish your unique life tasks.

(Alai Shur, vol.1, p.168; Gateway to Happiness, p.120)

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#467   Get Thorough Advice 

Each person thinks differently. If you have a problem and consult a number of people, you will hear diverse opinions. Therefore, after gathering all the different opinions, consult one wise person and present the various opinions you've heard. With his wisdom, he will be able to help you formulate a final opinion based on all the interviews you have conducted.

Even when making the final decision yourself, it is wise to ask different people for their opinions, to get a more comprehensive picture of your options.

Today, pick a problem… and ask around!

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 11:14; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")

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#468   Give Good Advice 

When someone comes to ask your advice, your obligation is to give him the same advice you would need to hear if you were in his position. Focus only on the welfare of the person you are talking to, and not on any personal benefit you might derive from giving a particular type of advice. If you are unable to do this, then you should not be giving any advice at all!

The next time someone asks you for advice, view this person as yourself or as your beloved child. What is the absolutely best advice you could give?

(see Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto; Path of the Just, ch. 11)

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#469   Develop Patience 

The Talmud (Shabbos 31a) relates how someone tried to get the great sage Hillel angry by continually interrupting him on Friday afternoon when he was in the middle of bathing for Shabbos. Although the man asked Hillel ridiculous and irrelevant questions, Hillel answered him patiently.

The Talmud says we all need to strive to reach this level of humility. That is, we are all obligated to work on ourselves to develop the total patience of Hillel whom no one could anger. See my book, "Anger: The Inner Teacher" (ArtScroll) for elaboration of a nine-step program for conquering anger.

(see Rabbi Yechezkail Levenstein - Ohr Yechezkail, Midos, p.14)

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#470   Spread Love and Peace 

Aaron, Moses' brother, was a master at making peace between people. He had intense love for everyone, and with this great love he was able to motivate other people to love each other. Flames of love came from his heart, and this entered the hearts of everyone else.

Today, think of two people you know who need to make peace, and use Aaron as a model.

(see Rabbi Chaim Zaitchyk - Maayanai Hachaim, vol.3, p.190; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#471   Tone of Voice 

A speaker's tone of voice is a key factor that will make a major difference whether he will have a positive effect or not. Matters pertaining to cold logic do not need a special tone of voice. However, when your goal is to arouse elevated spiritual feelings in someone, it is important to speak in a tone of voice that will inspire the appropriate elevated state.

Today, when speaking to someone about a personal matter, be conscious of how your tone of voice can enhance your message.

(see Rabbi Yitzchok Blauser; Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian - Lev Eliyahu, vol.1, p.12; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#472   Power of Patience 

The Talmud (Airuvin 54b) relates that Rabbi Praida had to repeat each lesson to a certain student four hundred times until the student understood it. This is usually cited as an example of the patience needed to be a teacher. We can also see the courage and perseverance of the student. Most people would give up after twenty or thirty repetitions and say they lack the necessary intelligence to comprehend the subject. This student realized he would eventually understand if he just heard each point enough times. When you say you cannot understand something, how many times did you try before you reached your conclusion? We have tremendous ability to understand almost anything if we have the patience to hear the ideas enough times. Pride gets in the way, and so does frustration. But a truth seeker does not worry about what others might think and keeps his mind on the goal.

(Gateway to Happiness, p.384)

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#473   Trust in G-d Brings Peace Of Mind 

What is "trust in G-d?" It is the realization that there are no accidents in the world, and that all aspects of a person's life are guided by the Almighty. This includes life and death, food, clothing, children, job, house, and health. Trust in G-d requires that a person accept the will of G-d in all these areas since he knows that whatever the Almighty does is for his ultimate good. In this way, the person who trusts in G-d will constantly have peace of mind.

A person without trust in G-d, however, will tend to suffer even when things are going well - because of anxiety about the future. About such a person, King Solomon said in Proverbs: "All the days of those poor (in wisdom) are unhappy ones."

(see Chovos Halevovos 4:4,5; Chazon Ish - Emunah u'Bitochon 2:1; Gateway to Happiness, p.81-2)

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#474   Gratitude to the Source 

The pleasure we feel with what we have does not come only from the thing itself, but also from whom we received it. That is the lessons of the blessings we make. They help us appreciate that the Almighty is the One who has bestowed us with the pleasures of this world. This awareness greatly enhances the value of these pleasures."

(see Rabbi Noson Tzvi Finkel; Ohr Hatzafun, vol.3, p.86; Gateway to Happiness, p.45)

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#475   You Create the Place 

In 1856, Rabbi Avraham Yaakov Friedman of Sadugura, was arrested because of a libel and was kept in prison.

"I am permitted to serve the Almighty undisturbed," Rabbi Avraham Yaakov told his visitors, "What difference does it make whether I am here, or anywhere else?"

His father in law, Rabbi Aharon Perlow of Karlin, who was allowed to stay with him for a while in his cell, asked him, "How do you feel in this awful place?"

Rabbi Avraham Yaakov replied, "Does the place one is in make a difference? The Almighty's glory fills the earth. He is everywhere. Even here, in this awful place."

("Men of Distinction," vol.1, p.15; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.247)

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#476   Courage is a Choice 

No situation is exactly like any other situation. Every situation is new. Therefore, even if you haven't acted with courage in the past, you presently have the capacity to make new choices when new situations arise.

We each change all the time, either slightly or considerably. The new situations that arise are always more advanced than at any time in the past when you were faced with a similar situation. Let this thought strengthen you in your ability to have more courage than you ever did before.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#477   Choose your Tone of Voice 

Be aware of the effects of your tone of voice. Find a range of tones that your friends and family find comfortable.

The listener is always more sensitive and aware of the tone of voice than the speaker is. The more aware you are of your own tone of voice and the effect it has on the listener, the easier it will be for you to recognize when there is a change in your tone.

One way to become more aware of your tone of voice is to ask your spouse for feedback, by saying, "If my tone of voice ever distresses you, please point it out to me. And when you especially like a certain tone of voice, please tell me."

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book "Marriage" - ArtScroll Publ., p. 145)

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#478   Draw On Your Experience 

In what contexts have you already been patient? Even the most impatient person will be able to think of a few. Realize that you can now access this very same patience in new contexts where you haven't yet been as patient as you would like to be.

(from Rabbi Pliskin's book "Patience," published by ArtScroll - www.artscroll.com)

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#479   The Kindness of Patience 

People hate to be rushed.

Some people are so nervous when others rush them, that they can't think clearly when they need to ask a question or make a request. Tell such a person, "Please take your time. Go at a speed you feel comfortable with." Observe the person and you will notice that there is an immediate reduction in tension.

(from Rabbi Pliskin's book "Patience," published by ArtScroll - www.artscroll.com)

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#480   Choose Patience 

What is the underlying message when someone says, "You cause me to become impatient," or, "This makes me impatient?" The assumption here is that another person or a specific situation is the cause of your impatience.

Actually, impatience is a choice. It is one reaction out of many that can be chosen. If you blame your impatience on an external factor, you are to some degree giving up on your own power to create your reaction. Your reaction in any situation always depends on how you personally and subjectively evaluate and perceive that situation.

(from Rabbi Pliskin's book "Patience," published by ArtScroll - www.artscroll.com)

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#481   Solicit Advice 

We can all benefit from the advice of wise and experienced people. Besides gaining from their knowledge, we can also gain from their objectivity.

Many students could gain a lot from asking advice on how to concentrate better, how to remember better, how to read faster and with greater comprehension. Many parents could gain a lot by asking for advice on how to create a peaceful, harmonious home where they bring out the best in their children.

Many teachers could gain from consulting master teachers with much experience. Many businesspeople and professionals could gain from consulting experts in their field.

Almost everyone could gain by consulting appropriate people about how to become a better person. Have the courage to ask for advice.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#482   Returning to a Place 

If you were once in a place and have been away from it for a while, you can easily build up in your imagination how wonderful it would be to return.

But before deciding to move back, clarify if your feelings are a product of imagination or are based on reality.

(Pachad Yitzchok - Igros Uksovim, p.211; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.262)

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#483   Beware Of Dangerous Places 

The Talmud warns us to be careful not to stand in a dangerous place. If this is true with physical dangers, all the more so we should be careful not to be in situations where one's soul is in danger.

Stay away from dangerous spiritual situations. Don't purposely battle your evil inclination face-to-face. Keep as far as possible from any potential temptation to do something improper.

(Talmud - Shabbat 32a; Chazon Ish - Emunah Ubitochon 4:9; Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz - Sichos Mussar; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, 264)

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#484   Be Honest About Your Faults 

Approval-seekers feel a necessity to put themselves in a better light than they really are. Because they try to hide their faults, they are nervous about others finding out what they're really like. Their situation is like that of a spy in enemy territory.

If, however, they are honest about their mistakes and faults, they will be much more relaxed. They will also find that others behave more positively toward them for their honesty.

While it is not worthwhile to go to the opposite extreme and tell everyone you meet about your faults, if you stop being defensive about your faults, you will live a more serene life.

(Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.269)

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#485   Create A New Habit 

When you consistently act a certain way to form a new habit, it will become your new nature even though previously your nature was the opposite.

Think of a specific habit that you can apply this to. Start that new positive habit today. Feel joy for the initiative you are taking.

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 6:27; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")

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#486   Be Carefree Yet Careful 

While you should work on overcoming unnecessary worrying, have a healthy fear of danger and sensibly guard yourself from harm. Overcoming worry does not mean putting yourself in danger, but in having a calm attitude in dealing with difficulties and accepting what cannot be changed.

(Ralbag; Hadaios Vehamidos 5:2; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.158)

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#487   Heroic Choices, Heroic Life 

When you consistently make heroic choices, you create a heroic life.

You are constantly writing your autobiography, even if it isn't written on paper. The choices you make are the material which shape your autobiography. When you make enough heroic choices, you create a heroic masterpiece.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Courage")

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#488   Do More than the Minimum 

When a person does more than was expected or demanded of him, that is a sign of love. On the other hand, the surest sign that someone is doing something begrudgingly is when he does the minimum and no extra.

This principle applies to the good deeds we do in helping others. When you take on more than the minimal requirements, it manifests your loving attitude.

Today, think of some area in which you have been trying to just "get by" with the minimal requirements. What more can you do in that area?

(see Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz - Daas Chochmah Umussar, vol. 1, pp.86-7)

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#489   Fulfill the Will of the Creator 

When someone's total focus is on fulfilling the will of the Creator, he will be free from all worries and anxieties. He constantly fulfills the will of the Creator with sublime ecstasy and joy. A wise person makes this his life-goal.

This is such a powerful message that it is worth rereading over and over again. Integrating this into our consciousness is life-transforming. Print this out and put it in a place where you will remember to read it daily for at least one week.

(see Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv - Chochmah Umussar, vol.1, 287-8)