Ask the Rabbi

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24 Elul

Synagogue Dues: Pay to Pray?

I can't tell you how frustrated I am. I can go to any synagogue in my area on any given Shabbat to pray, but when it comes to the High Holidays, I need tickets. Some congregations are not even selling tickets. You have to buy a yearly membership. It seems to me spiritually wrong to require payment to fulfill a mitzvah.

It's this kind of attitude which turns me away from Judaism. I am boycotting the rest of High Holidays for this reason. Christian places of worship do not have this policy. It makes no sense for a single person like myself to join a congregation, since I don't use the facility enough to justify the expense. I would rather donate what I can to other charities that I deem to be in greater need.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts.

Let's start with the premise that every synagogue requires financial support. They have building and maintenance costs, and pay a rabbi who spends endless hours working to serve the community's spiritual needs.

Does this justify turning away a Jew who cannot pay? Absolutely not. At the very least, there should be a section designated for those who cannot afford to purchase a seat. In the synagogue I attend in Jerusalem, we have extra seating specifically for those who do not wish to purchase a seat or cannot afford one. Not exactly front row, but still in the ballpark.

When I was teaching at Aish HaTorah in Los Angeles, tickets to High Holiday services cost just $18. And someone who couldn't afford that got a seat anyway - not in a separate "poor section," but spread throughout.

I think this is primarily an issue of mentality amongst the Jewish leadership. It's crucial that the priority be serving the Jewish community, with running a business secondary. What's the point of having a synagogue if it turns Jews away from their heritage? I'm afraid if we don't do something to shift the attitude, there won't be enough Jews left in another generation to fill all these synagogues. In other words, we'll have shot ourselves in the foot.

I am confident there are many synagogues which offer subsidies, and where nobody is turned away for lack of funds. If you need assistance in locating something in your area, check out an excellent resource at www.nomembershiprequired.com

I must say, however, I'm surprised by your reaction to this whole situation. Who are you ultimately hurting by boycotting the holidays? Instead of saying: "That blasted synagogue! I'll teach them a lesson and defile my soul with some bacon!" Why not say: "I'll start my own synagogue and the policy will be free seating on High Holidays for those who can't afford tickets."

It's the difference between being proactive and reactive. Proactive means making your own reality happen. Reactive is allowing other people's shortcomings to hurt you. Judaism is a religion of action. So let me know when you start that synagogue. It'll be my honor to pray with you there!

Finally, this all reminds me of a joke. A man had to deliver an important message to his friend who was in synagogue on Rosh Hashanah. The usher wouldn't let him in because he didn't have a ticket. "Please, I just need a moment to give him the message!" "No way!" said the usher, "I have strict instructions: No ticket, no entrance!"

"Please," begged the man, "I promise... I won't pray!

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25 Elul

Baby Girls

I just got back from the hospital where my wife gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl! My question is: If it had been a boy, I know we would have given the name at his Bris. But in this case, is there a special ceremony when a girl is born. When my brother had a baby girl recently, they didn't make any ceremony.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

First of all, Mazal Tov! May you merit to raise her to Torah, to the wedding canopy and to good deeds!

The naming of a Jewish daughter is a most profound spiritual moment. The naming ceremony is linked to the public reading of the Torah. During the Torah reading, a special "Mi Sheberach" blessing is said. The blessing begins with a prayer for the mother's health. It continues with the giving of the baby's name -- and a prayer that this new Jewish daughter should grow to be a wise and understanding Jewish woman of goodness and greatness.

The baby naming is traditionally followed by a "kiddush" in honor of the baby girl, where friends and relatives gather to share good food, speak words of Torah, and share the family's profound joy.

For details of how to choose a name for the baby, and the significance of a Jewish name, see the article, "Naming Your Baby"

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26 Elul

Life on Track

I am turning 40 in a few months and I am terribly frustrated seeing my life go by, without really fulfilling my potential. I cannot imagine being 20 years down the road and these same feelings of emptiness and regret, Can you suggest a plan for getting my life on track?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Kudos for writing and taking this all so seriously.

The first step is to get to the core of your life. You want to be rich. You want to be famous. You want to accomplish, to have an impact, to help others, to change the world.

But why do you want all this? What's driving you? When all is said and done, what do you want to end up with? For what do you want to be remembered?

Every day you have to re-ask these questions.

Dream your loftiest dreams and make a plan to achieve them. Imagine what you could accomplish if you were clearly focused on the goal.

I would like to share with you a quote; think how it applies to yourself.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'

"Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God."

My friend, you have the power. To start this process of self-discovery, ask yourself intimate questions, then wait for answers.

• What is the purpose of existence?

• What is my goal in life?

• Why did I choose my career?

• How do I spend my spare time?

• In what ways am I wasting time?

• What is my motivation for doing what I do?

• What really makes me happy?

• What are my future plans? Why?

• What are my secret dreams and ambitions?

Once you have some answers, make a plan to implement positive change into your daily life. Start slowly, taking one small step at a time, so not to be overwhelmed. Keep your eye on the goal and gauge your progress every day.

The key to success in this is to take a spiritual accounting. Imagine if a corporation conducted business without keeping track of its accounts and made no effort to chart profits and losses. The whole endeavor would be destined to fail!

The Sages note that this is exactly the approach many people take in their personal lives ― and regularly do "Cheshbon Hanefesh," a spiritual accounting. For example, if someone is trying to refrain from speaking Loshon Hara (gossip), he should keep track of the number of times he speaks Loshon Hara during the day. The power of this exercise is so great, that if a person performs a cheshbon for 80 consecutive days, they will assuredly become a new person.

There is an excellent book, written a few hundred years ago, called "Cheshbon ha-Nefesh" by Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Satanov. Find it at feldheim.com.

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27 Elul

Book of Life

I heard the idea that during the High Holidays, God writes one's name in a book. Where does this concept come from, and how can this concept bring meaning to the holidays for me?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Talmud (Rosh Hashana 32b) says that on Rosh Hashana, God inscribes everyone's name into one of three books. The righteous go into the Book of Life, the evil go into the Book of Death, and those in-between have judgment suspended until Yom Kippur.

In actuality, the vast majority of us are neither totally good nor bad. We're more like 50/50, so we have a few more days until Yom Kippur to tip the scales. That's why the Code of Jewish Law recommends going out of our way to do extra mitzvot during this time.

Rabbi Noah Weinberg asks the question: If someone is 50/50, he apparently doesn't need any type of drastic change. He should just do one more mitzvah to tip the scales, and then there's nothing to worry about - as long as he's holding at 51/49!

The answer is that the 50/50 weighing isn't a numbers game of one mitzvah versus one transgression. The reckoning goes according to varying degrees of mass and impact. Sometimes one good act will outweigh many mistakes. Conversely, there are some sins that can outweigh all the good you did.

So to ensure getting into the Book of Life, we need something really dramatic. For example, someone who sincerely chooses to take on Jewish observance has a 1,000-ton weight going for him. The act of coming full circle to Torah is a rare type of decision that can transform you into a different person.

Of course, wherever you're holding, it's important to do as much as you can. Don't gossip, show respect to your parents, eat kosher food. Whatever you can do, add to it. But what we're really looking for is the mega-ton weights. Look for breakthroughs - the one major decision that can truly change you.

And while you're working out a strategy, here's an inspiring story about Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berditchev, the 18th century Chassidic leader. He was known as "the defense attorney of the Jewish people," because he constantly beseeched God to deal kindly with His people.

One year, Rosh Hashana fell out on Shabbat, and Rabbi Levi Yitzhak went to the front of the synagogue to lead the congregation in prayer. Before beginning, he looked heavenward and said: "God, today is Shabbat. You taught us in Your holy Torah that Shabbat may only be broken in order to save a life. I demand that you keep the laws which You gave us. Since writing is a prohibited act on Shabbat, You have no right to record anybody in the Book of Death. You may only break Shabbat to record all of mankind in the Book of Life!"

May you have a sweet new year and be sealed in the Book of Life!

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28 Elul

Happy New Year

I am confused about some time frames. When is the Jewish New Year? Is it the month of Tishrei (Rosh Hashanah) or the month of Nissan (Passover)? In the Bible (Exodus 12:2), God says the first day of the year is in the spring, but I always see Tishrei referred to as the new year. Can you clarify this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Excellent question!

Rosh Hashanah commemorates the sixth day of creation - the day that the first human being was created. The reason why we celebrate Rosh Hashanah on this day (and not on the first day of creation) is because the entire world was only brought into existence for the sake of man.

The reason why the months are counted from Nissan is because that is when God brought the Jews out of slavery in Egypt - marking the birth of our people.

This reflects two aspects of God's involvement in the world. With Rosh Hashanah, we acknowledge God's role as Creator, while Passover commemorates God as the guiding hand of history. This dual-facet is reflected in the Kiddush over wine, where we say that Shabbat is "a remembrance of creation... a remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt."

So although the years are counted from Rosh Hashanah, the months are counted from the month of Nissan. Hence we have two new years!

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29 Elul

Clothing on Rosh Hashanah

This year I will be attending my first Rosh Hashanah service. Is there anything I need to know about particular clothes to wear?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Rosh Hashanah is the Day of Judgment - when we stand before God and plead our case to be given another year of life.

Normally, if someone would be in court with his life on the line, he would wear solemn black, feeling totally distraught at not knowing the outcome.

Paradoxically, on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish people wear nice clothes and eat festive meals. Why? Because we have confidence in God's kindness and the outcome of the decision.

On the other hand, however, Rosh Hashanah is not a fashion show and we shouldn't show up in synagogue wearing extra-fancy clothes like a tuxedo or embroidered silk dress! That's because we need a balance to take the Day of Judgment seriously.

Think of it as an experienced heart surgeon - he walks into the operating room confident, yet extremely cautious. That's our attitude on Rosh Hashanah, and it's reflected in our clothes.

(source: Mishnah Berurah 581:25)

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1 Tishrei

Afterlife Video

I was interested to read your explanation on the afterlife. However, perhaps you could clarify one point. I heard that "time" is a concept unique to this world, not existing in the World to Come. How, then, is it possible for a person to see a "video" of their life which is fundamentally time-governed?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The concept of seeing a "video" in the transcendent dimension is merely a metaphor. The reason why this metaphor is used is because it would be impossible to understand it in any other way. We live in a world bound by time, and therefore that is our only frame of reference to describe something that is otherwise inconceivable.

Metaphors are commonly used in Judaism to describe the indescribable. For example, God tells the Jewish people, "I shall redeem you with an outstretched arm." (Exodus 6:6) Of course, we know that God has no arm!

So in reality, there will be no video in the afterlife. Nor will there be a projection screen or popcorn!

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2 Tishrei

Doing Teshuva

In my youth I did some horrible things - both unethical and illegal. Is it possible to make amends for having lived a sinful lifestyle? Sometimes I feel so low that I can't imagine how I'll ever get back up. Is my soul permanently stained from all this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It is never too late, for as the Sages teach: "As long as the flame is burning, we can still make amends."

Teshuva is the Jewish idea of return. When we "do teshuva," we examine our ways, identify those areas where we are losing ground, and return to our own previous state of spiritual purity. And in the process, we return to our connection with the Almighty as well.

Teshuva was created even before the world was created, because God knew that it would be needed. Nothing stands in the way of teshuva, and the very fact that you have made the important step of writing this letter means that you have already begun the process of teshuva.

For successful teshuva, we have to realize that God loves us - even in light of all the mistakes we've made. Realize that God understands you, that He's "cheering you on," and wants to help. Don't feel guilty; any mistakes you've made are part of a growth process to get where you are today. Growth is what God created us for, and even the hardships are the best thing for us. God is not the "big bully in the sky"; He's on your side.

The classic Jewish book, "Gates of Repentance" says that if you do teshuva out of love, you can even transform your mistakes into mitzvahs. Sort of like "dry cleaning for the soul."

The process of Teshuva involves four steps:

Step 1 - Regret. Realizing the extent of the damage and feeling sincere regret.

Step 2 - Cessation. Immediately stopping the harmful action.

Step 3 - Confession. Articulating the mistake and ask for forgiveness.

Step 4 - Resolution. Making a firm commitment not to repeat it in the future.

By the way, the days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are the most auspicious time to do Teshuva. Though it can be undertaken at any season of the year, at any time of day.

For a full discussion of this topic, see: www.aish.com/h/hh/gar/

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3 Tishrei

Why be Jewish?

I'm just out of college and struggling to forge my identity. I have strong Jewish feelings, but am meeting some really nice non-Jewish women and am having trouble articulating why Judaism is so central to my identity.

Can you tell me why I should hang in there with the Jewish people?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Let’s start with the classic “bad” reasons: Your grandma will be upset. Guilt is not a sufficient motivator, and certainly 3,300 years of Jewish history has been driven my much more powerful forces.

Imagine someone buying a microwave for the first time, and not thinking they need to read the instructions. They put some food covered in tin foil in the microwave, and it starts to spark dangerously. It may even ruin the microwave.

So too with life. Life is quite complex – how to pick the right spouse, how to attain true happiness, how to get in touch with your spiritual side, etc. Just as any complex piece of equipment comes with instructions, so too God gave the world a set of "instructions for living" – the Torah.

Everyone is looking for immortality. Some people build tall buildings and attach their name; others create great works of art that will hang in a museum. Historians have not the vaguest ideas how to explain Jewish survival, especially during the last 2,000 years of exile. And it is not "Jewish identity" or "Jewish cultural products" which survive: Jews have been involved in assimilationist movements throughout history and those movements have not survived.

Rather, what survives is a specific way of life. Jewish values, beliefs and traditions seem historically indestructible.

The strength of Judaism is that human needs and desires remain consistent throughout history.

Even though some things may seem outdated (e.g. "Reuven's ox gores Shimon's ox..."), these are metaphors that apply to a wide range of situations, for example auto accidents. Judaism provides specific guidelines and methodology for deriving new laws from existing principles. There is nothing that Torah does not address – artificial insemination, space travel, etc.

By any measure the Jewish contribution to human life and thought is awesome. But with monotheism and morality, Judaism gives the foundation of a worldview and the essential agenda for the future. When it is appreciated that both these elements are of Jewish origin, world history takes on a different aspect: The world steadily becomes more and more Jewish!

Beyond this is the quality of life in traditional Jewish communities. Statistics show that these communities have great success in many important respects, including violent crime, drug addiction, divorce and family relations, literacy and general intellectual development. (Note that perfection is not claimed, only favorable distinction.)

One more point: Why is it that through the centuries, our ancestors have endured the torments of exile, torture and ovens – yet continued to remain loyal to the Jewish people?

Obviously Judaism must have provided them with some deep dividends. The values that the civilized world takes for granted – monotheism, love your neighbor, peace on earth, justice for all, universal education, all men are created equal, dignity of the individual, the preciousness of life – are all from the Torah. This is an enormous impact and we accomplished it under the most adverse conditions.

Finally, I suggest you start in earnest by attending a Discovery seminar. It provides an excellent overview of Jewish history, philosophy, and literature. The seminar is given in hundreds of cities throughout the world. For a current schedule, visit www.aish.com/dis/

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4 Tishrei

Jewish Calendar System

I'm confused every year when the High Holidays come out at the beginning of September, or the middle of the month, and sometimes in October. How does the Hebrew calendar correspond to the English calendar?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Jewish calendar is based on both the solar and lunar cycles. Every Jewish month begins with the New Moon. To ensure that the holidays occur in their proper seasons (e.g. Passover in the springtime), an extra "leap month" is added 7 times every 19 years. Thus, the Jewish calendar is "luni-solar."

This is in contrast to the solar civil (Gregorian) calendar, where the months have completely lost their relation to the moon. It is also different from the Muslim calendar, an absolutely lunar system, in which the months (and holidays) wander through all four seasons.

Interestingly, Jewish months are calculated at 29.53059 days, following the cycle of the moon. This practice is based on the Talmud (Rosh Hashana 25a), according to tradition dating back to Moses, and/or based on scientists like Ptolemy.

Incredibly, it took the modern world many centuries to confirm this figure. Only after calculations using solar satellites, hairline telescopes, laser beams and super-computers, did NASA scientists determine that the length of the "synodic month," i.e. the time between one new moon and the next, is 29.530588 days.

Amazing!

(sources: "The New Encyclopedia Britannica," 1990 Micropeadia, Volume 2, p. 740; "Blessing of the Sun" by Rabbi J. David Bleich, ArtScroll-Mesorah Pub., pp. 47-48; "Torah Shleima" by Rabbi S. Kashir 8:7; "Korot Cheshbon Ha'ibur" by Rabbi Z. Yaffe; "Perush" of Rabbi Ovadia Ben Ovadia - Laws of New Month 6:3)

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5 Tishrei

Who is a Leader?

How does one become a Jewish leader? Is there particular career path that you would recommend following?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

In the secular world, leadership is determined by whoever voluntarily runs for office, usually out of a desire for power.

Contrast this to Torah leadership, where there is no term of office, no contracts or promises. He becomes a leader only because the people respect his character and trust his judgment. He doesn't go in search of the honor. They approach him and they ask him to become their leader.

In fact, a Torah leader will resist the honor. When first approached by God at the Burning Bush, Moses protested: "Who am I that I should take the Jews out of Egypt?!" (Exodus 3:11)

A modern-day example is Rabbi Moshe Feinstein. In the introduction to "Igros Moshe," his monumental compendium of responsa, Rabbi Feinstein writes: "I would not have volunteered for the job of leading the Jewish people. But since this is the role that God has selected for me, I have no choice but to accept it."

Maimonides lists the qualifications for Jewish leadership, as derived from Yisro's description in Exodus 18:21: "A Jewish leader must be: a scholar in both Torah and secular wisdom, God-fearing, non-materialistic (as a guard against bribes), a seeker of truth, mitzvah observant (i.e. practices what he preaches), and modest." (see Laws of Sanhedrin 2:7)

In addition, the Talmud suggests that a leader shouldn't accept money from the community he serves – so they don't "own" him. His integrity must not be tainted by salary negotiations or a board of directors.

Wouldn't the world be different today if all leaders were accountable to such standards?

The truth is that people get the leader they deserve. If there is to be a revolution against selfishness and corruption, the change has to come from below.

Maybe it's time to demand integrity of our government leaders. Because if we let it slide, we all slide down with it.

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6 Tishrei

Book of Jonah

I always loved the story of Jonah and the whale. Why do we read it during the afternoon service of Yom Kippur?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Let's recap the story: God tells Jonah to go to Ninveh and to prophesy that in 40 days, God will destroy the city. Instead, Jonah goes to Jaffa, boards a ship, and sails for Tarshish. A great storm arises. Frightened, Jonah goes to sleep in the ship's hold. The sailors somehow recognize that Jonah is responsible for the storm. They throw him overboard, and the sea becomes calm.

A great fish swallows Jonah. Then three days later, God commands the fish to spit Jonah back out upon dry land. God tells Jonah, "Let's try it again. Go to Ninveh and tell them in 40 days I will destroy the city."

The story is a metaphor for our struggle for clarity. Jonah is the soul. The soul is assigned to sanctify the world, and draw it close to God. But we are seduced by the world's beauty. (Jaffa in Hebrew means "beauty.") The ship is the body, the sea is the world, and the storm is life's pains and troubles. God hopes confrontation with mortality will inspire us to examine our lives. But Jonah's is the more common response - we go to sleep (have a beer, turn on the television). The sailors throw Jonah overboard - this is death. The fish that swallows Jonah is the grave. Jonah is spat back upon the land - reincarnation. And the Almighty tells us to try again. "Go sanctify the world and bring it close to God."

Each of us is born with an opportunity and a challenge. We each have unique gifts to offer the world and unique challenges to perfect ourselves. If we leave the task unfinished the first time, we get a second chance. Jonah teaches us that repentance can reverse a harsh decree. If the residents of Ninveh had the ability to correct their mistakes and do teshuva, how much more so do we have the ability to correct our former mistakes and do teshuva.

(source: "The Bible for the Clueless But Curious," by Rabbi Nachum Braverman)

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7 Tishrei

Clothing on Yom Kippur

What color clothing should be worn on Yom Kippur? And Why?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

On Yom Kippur the custom is to wear at least something that is white. This is mindful of purity, since on Yom Kippur we spend the whole day in fasting and prayer - and are considered as pure and holy as the angels.

For this reason, married men often wear a "Kittel," which is a white robe of sorts.

Another reason for wearing white on Yom Kippur relates to the solemn nature of the day. The Jewish custom is to bury the dead in white shrouds. On Yom Kippur we want to remain cognizant of the ephemeral state of our lives so that we will have more motivation to repent. Wearing white helps facilitate that.

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8 Tishrei

Eating on Yom Kippur?

It has come to that time of year again when my family argues over whether my 81-year-old grandfather should fast on Yom Kippur. This year, however, the situation is slightly different, since less than a year ago he was in hospital for a very serious operation.

What are the guidelines for breaking the fast on Yom Kippur if a person becomes very ill due to fasting? Also, do you have any advice in terms of precautions to help one fast easier?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If someone is ill, and a doctor is of the opinion that fasting might pose a life-danger, then the patient should eat or drink small amounts.

The patient should try to eat only about 60 cc., and wait nine minutes before eating again. Once nine minutes have passed, he can eat this small amount again, and so on throughout the day.

With drinking, he should try to drink less than what the Talmud calls "melo lugmav" - the amount that would fill a person's puffed-out cheek. While this amount will vary from person to person, it is approximately 80 cc., and he should wait nine minutes before drinking again.

How does consuming small amounts make a difference? In Jewish law, an act of "eating" is defined as "consuming a certain quantity within a certain period of time." Otherwise, it's not eating, it's "nibbling" - which although it's also prohibited on Yom Kippur, there is room to be lenient when one's health is at stake.

Note that eating and drinking are treated as independent acts, meaning that the patient can eat and drink together during those nine minutes, and the amounts are not combined.

Having said all this, if these small amounts prove insufficient, the patient may even eat and drink regularly. In such a case, a person does not say Kiddush before eating, but does recite "Grace After Meals," inserting the "ya'aleh veyavo" paragraph.

Now what about a case where the patient's opinion conflicts with that of the doctor? If the patient is certain he needs to eat to prevent a danger to health, then we rely on his word, even if the doctor disagrees. And in the opposite scenario - if the patient refuses to eat despite doctors' warnings - then we persuade the patient to eat, since it is possible that his judgment is impaired due to illness.

I'd also like to share this story:

About 150 years ago there was an epidemic going around parts of Lithuania around the time of the High Holidays. Doctor's orders were that nobody was allowed to fast. It seemed, however, that few were willing to follow the doctor's orders. Realizing this, Rabbi Israel Salanter went from synagogue to synagogue on Yom Kippur night and, standing by the ark, he ate before the shocked crowds. Seeing their rabbi eat on Yom Kippur, the masses went home to eat as well.

Just as on Yom Kippur it is a mitzvah to fast, in certain circumstances the mitzvah is to eat on Yom Kippur. Even if a person wants to fast like everyone else, God sometimes gives a unique test - in this case to eat on Yom Kippur, to remain healthy and serve God.

Even in such a case, there is a way to join the Yom Kippur mood. Besides fasting on Yom Kippur, we are enjoined to refrain from washing, wearing leather shoes, and engaging in marital relations.

See more specific guidelines for how to deal with sick people and children on Yom Kippur: http://www.aish.com/h/hh/yk/48960456.html

(sources: Talmud - Yoma 82-83, Code of Jewish Law - O.C. 612, 618 with Mishnah Berurah)

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9 Tishrei

Easy Fast

Every year as Yom Kippur approaches, I get into an anxiety mode. I have a really hard time fasting without food or water for an entire day. I try to eat a huge meal right before the fast, but it only seems to make me thirsty, and by the next morning I am starving. By the afternoon I am either wiped out in bed, or clawing at the refrigerator door!

Do you have any advice for me?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Fasting for 25 hours on Yom Kippur is undeniably difficult. But there is one thing that can make everything easier:

Hydration.

Most people think the challenge of fasting is feeling "hungry." In truth, avoiding thirst is much more important. The average person can survive for a month without food - but only three days without water.

With proper hydration, not only do you avoid the discomfort of thirst, but you also swallow more frequently, so your stomach does not feel as empty.

A large part of successful fasting is in the mind. Talking about your hunger will only focus your attention on food and make things more difficult. The key here is to distract your mind from food. The more you immerse yourself in prayer, the less you'll think about food.

Fasting is easier if you prepare your body in advance. See this article for "Seven Simple Steps" to maximize your hydration on Yom Kippur - leaving you with more strength and energy to do the truly important spiritual work of the day.

For more details, read Aish.com's “Seven Steps to an Easy Fast.”

http://www.aish.com/h/hh/yk/Seven_Steps_to_an_Easy_Fast.html

Wishing you an easy fast and a meaningful Yom Kippur!

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10 Tishrei

Yizkor

My mother recently passed away. Every year when I would go to synagogue on Yom Kippur, and then would get to the Yizkor service, I would leave the sanctuary with the other people whose parents were still alive. This year unfortunately I will stay and say the prayers. Can you tell me a bit about what to expect?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Yizkor is said four times a year the morning service after the Torah reading: on Yom Kippur, Shmini Atzeret, the 8th day of Passover, and the second day of Shavuot.

The Zohar explains that when the Torah is out, God's love for his people is aroused. At this time it is appropriate to say Yizkor for the deceased, as they may also be in need of God's kindness.

How can the dead be in need of God's kindness? This is because a person may not have fully perfected himself during his lifetime. The Yizkor service is a time when the living are able to help the soul obtain the corrections it needs, since the soul, without its body cannot perform good deeds in this world.

During the Yizkor service each individual pledges to give charity (tzedakah). This act, although done by the living, is recorded in the merit of the deceased. In that way the soul receives the help it needs, and the living are able to do an incredible act of kindness for their dearly departed.

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11 Tishrei

Definition of God

I have friends who are Buddhists, Mormons, and agnostics. We often have philosophical discussions, and everyone seems to differ slightly in their view of the Divine Being. As a Jew, I would like to offer our perspective as well. Can you tell me what is the Jewish definition of God?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You are asking the most fundamental question. Any issue in philosophy – the purpose of existence, free will, suffering, the course of history, the afterlife – stems from how you understand and define this question.

The first thing to know is that God is infinite. Infinite does not mean “very large.” It means totally without limit and containment. Anything that exists within space is by definition finite, no matter how big it gets.

Take a moment and try to picture God before there ever was a universe. Most people imagine God being everywhere, expanding and filling up everything. But to be everywhere, you need space. And there is no space, because it hasn't been created yet. Infinite means being beyond space.

Another aspect of God's infinity is “beyond time.” Being outside of time means being at all places at all times all at the same time – simultaneously. It literally boggles the mind.

We have a fundamental problem in trying to grasp what it means to be beyond time and space. We are stuck in a finite world. Everything we perceive is filtered through our finite minds using finite vocabulary. When imagining eternity, all we can muster is an image of something reaching back through the tunnel of history and stretching forwards towards the future. That's not eternity. Eternity is beyond time, not within it.

When talking about what the infinite is – eternal, all-powerful, all-encompassing – the very words we use are finite. We struggle to describe the infinite in a positive sense since the only language we have is wholly inadequate. Any perception of God must be filtered through a finite lens, therefore we can never truly describe the essence of God.

The Way of God by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (18th century) gives a succinct summation: "Every Jew must believe and know that there exists a First Being, without beginning or end, who brought all things into existence and continues to sustain them. This Being is God."

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12 Tishrei

Absolute Truth

I'm struggling with the sense on one hand that I want to instill Jewish beliefs in my children, but on the other hand I feel that would be diminishing the value and equal importance of the beliefs of other faiths. I feel that love, harmony and happiness are the most important values, and that we need to be accepting of everyone's beliefs. People are different, so isn't truth relative for each individual?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If you think about it, you'll realize that "truth" cannot simply be everything that everyone wants.

What about the father of Protestantism, Martin Luther, who said, "The Jews are our misfortune," and fomented a hatred that later helped the Nazis generate anti-Semitism among the masses.

Are you unwilling to diminish the value of this "father of a major religion" in the eyes of your children?

What about the jihadists who blow up planes, trains and buildings – all in the name of religion?

Hitler wrote in "Mein Kampf:" "I believe today that my conduct is in accordance of the will of the Almighty creator. In standing guard against the Jew I am defending the handiwork of the Lord." ("The Holocaust" by Martin Gilbert, p. 28)

Do you agree with Hitler or not? Can you say unequivocally that he was wrong?

Reality is what is. You have to decide if you want to teach your children truth, or if you want to immobilize them with cushy phrases that have no connection to reality.

This does not mean that Judaism does not respect other people. It does mean that we are firm on our perception of reality which we have received from generations all the way back to the that momentous event at Mount Sinai, which changed the face of human history forever.

While we do teach that all human beings are inestimably valuable and deserve to be loved and respected, we do not teach that all beliefs have equal value.

For more on this, read: www.aish.com/sp/ph/48959701.html

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The above statement from this Rabbi is very interesting. Would we as SDA say the same about what we believe?

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13 Tishrei

PVC Sukkah

I am redesigning my old sukkah and wonder if it is okay to use PVC for the structure, specifically the uprights.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The walls of a sukkah may be made from any material, as explained in the Code of Jewish Law (O.C. 630:1). This includes using existing walls of a building, or even a hedge of bushes.

When building with PVC, be aware that it is more flexible than it looks, and could bend under the weight of the "sechach" (foliage covering the sukkah roof). One year I built a beautiful sukkah using PVC, and about two hours before the start of the holiday (with a group of guests expected) the entire structure began swaying back and forth - and then came crashing down. Needless to say I had a frantic next two hours scavenging for sturdier metal parts! So if building with PVC, I advise you to take precautions to make sure the PVC is properly reinforced, or attached to a building.

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14 Tishrei

As Great as Moses

All my friends seem to be talented and smart. I'm just kind of average. I try really hard, but can't seem to ever reach a level of excellence. It's getting me worried about my future. What should I do?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Talmud says: "Everyone is responsible to be as great as Moses." But then the Torah tells us in Deuteronomy 34:10 that "no one will ever be as great as Moses!" How can I be expected to be as great as Moses, if no one will ever be as great as Moses?!

The answer is that just as Moses fulfilled his own personal potential, so too we are expected to fulfill ours. Each of us is born with a unique set of talents and tools. Some of us are rich, others are poor. Some are tall and some are short. One person can sing, another can write, etc. But these qualities are not what determine your greatness. Rather, it's how you deal with your particular circumstances.

Imagine two people competing in a 100-meter dash. One runs a world record time of 9.3 seconds. The other crosses the finish line in 30 seconds.

Who would you say is the success? The record breaker of course!

Now what if I told you that the one who clocked 30 seconds had developed polio as a child, was unable to walk until he was 14 years old, and had invested years of painful, grueling exercise until he was finally able to even traverse that distance?

We can never know the circumstances another person has to deal with; we cannot see whether he's naturally calm or whether he's had to struggle to control his temper; whether he was born with great intelligence or whether he's had to overcome learning disabilities; whether he's been handed the best of everything or whether he's had to surmount many obstacles.

That's why Judaism says: It's not important where you are on the ladder, but how many rungs you've climbed.

This is a crucial concept for parents and teachers. Consider: Which is the more important grade on a child's report card: "achievement" or "effort"?

The answer is effort. The reason we need grades for "achievement" is simply to have an objective gauge of how much material the child is grasping. But in ultimate terms, all that really matters is the effort.

The story is told of Zusha, the great Chassidic master, who lay crying on his deathbed. His students asked him, "Rebbe, why are you so sad? After all the mitzvahs and good deeds you have done, you will surely get a great reward in heaven!"

"I'm afraid!" said Zusha. "Because when I get to heaven, I know God's not going to ask me 'Why weren't you more like Moses?' or 'Why weren't you more like King David?' But I'm afraid that God will ask 'Zusha, why weren't you more like Zusha?' And then what will I say?!"

So in answer to your question, the Talmudic statement that "Nobody will ever be as great as Moses" means that nobody again will have that same potential. But you can maximize that which you do have. Life is not a competition against anyone but yourself. May the Almighty grant you the strength and clarity to be... yourself!

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15 Tishrei

Three Pilgrimage Festivals

The Bible speaks about the entire Jewish nation going to Jerusalem for the three pilgrimage festivals. Is that still practiced today?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

From a technical standpoint, it was only when the Temple was standing that people were required to appear three times annually and bring an offering – on Passover, Sukkot and Shavuot. (Shulchan Aruch O.C. 117:1; Nodeh BiYehuda O.C. 94; Chasam Sofer Y.D. 233; Yabia Omer O.C. 5:15; Tzitz Eliezer 10:1)

Nevertheless, citing the Midrash from Shir HaShirim, some opinions maintain that coming today to see the Temple Mount and the Western Wall still applies on the pilgrimage festivals (Ran – Ta’anit 7a; She'alat Ya'avetz 1:87; Yechaveh Daas 1:25; Teshuvah Kol Mevaser 2:10).

Whatever the case, today many tens of thousands of people make a point to come visit the site of the Temple and the Western Wall during the festival days. The Aish Center, whose spectacular rooftop terrace rises seven stories above the Western Wall Plaza, offers a particularly unique vantage point to fulfill this.

Your question also raises a unique aspect of pilgrimage that I think you'll enjoy:

Imagine we're a committee writing the Bible. If we made up a law that all the men in Israel are required to go to Jerusalem and visit the Temple, three times each year on the pilgrimage holidays, do you think it's a good idea?

On one hand, it unites the people. They get inspired to gather as a nation and see the priestly service in the Temple.

Why is it a bad idea?

If all the men are in Jerusalem, who's going to guard the land? What will happen when the enemies find out that no one is protecting the borders? It won't take long for them to figure out that three times a year the Jews leave themselves wide open to attack.

Of course, we could send the men in shifts, as opposed to all at once. But the Torah is very clear: "Three times each year, all your males shall present themselves before God, the Master and Lord of Israel" (Exodus 34:23).

And if one might think that is the making of a national tragedy, the very next verse promises: "[N]o one will be envious of your land when you go to be seen in God's presence" (Exodus 34:24).

In other words, don’t worry. God will make sure that no one will even think of attacking you! Who in their right mind would write this? The one thing the author of the Bible knows for sure is that he can't control the thoughts of their enemies, never mind the bullets!

Why take such an outlandish risk? Did the author actually expect the people to say, "Oh, that's a great idea; everybody'll just leave and we'll be unprotected. No problem." And even if by some fluke, the people swallow it, after the first pilgrimage or two, they're out of business, assuming they're still alive!

Which brings us to an astounding conclusion: Not only does this pilgrimage idea demonstrate that God has supernatural control, but simple psychology forces us to ask who else but God could write such a thing and expect people to accept it?

This is just another piece of evidence substantiating God as the Author of the Torah.

(based on Aish HaTorah’s Discovery Seminar)

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16 Tishrei

Two Days of Yom Tov

I live in England and want to know: Why do we celebrate one day of Yom Kippur, but two days of the other holidays? What's the difference?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

In the times of the Holy Temple, the high court (Sanhedrin) would declare each new month (Rosh Chodesh) only after witnesses would come and say that they saw the new moon. This is a special power that God gave the Jewish people to control time, and is irrespective of any scientific knowledge. When the Sanhedrin declared the day to be Rosh Chodesh, they would send messengers to notify everyone which day is the first day of the month, so that they could correctly calculate the Yom Tov, or other occasions.

Those who lived far from Jerusalem, where the messengers could not reach before the 15th of Nissan (Pesach) or the 15th of Tishrei (Sukkot), would keep two days Yom Tov, out of doubt regarding which day the witnesses saw the new moon.

Nowadays, we do not have the Sanhedrin declaring Rosh Chodesh, and everything follows a preset calendar established by the patriarch Hillel II in the 5th century CE. Yet we still keep two days Yom Tov (Sukkot, Pesach and Shavuot) in the Diaspora, in commemoration of those days when we had two days Yom Tov in the Diaspora. (Maimonides - Kiddush HaChodesh 5:5)

On another level, some want to suggest that a second day Yom Tov was added in order to make a distinction for those living in the Diaspora: that for a Jew, not residing in the Holy Land is in a sense an aberration.

The reason that Yom Kippur is only one day even in the Diaspora is that it would be too difficult for people to fast for two days straight.

On Rosh Hashana (which is always the first day of Tishrei - i.e. Rosh Chodesh), we sometimes had two days of Rosh Hashana in Jerusalem as well. If the witnesses did not arrive the first day, they would keep Yom Tov that day, just in case they'd show up in middle of the day; and the next day. Therefore, by rabbinical decree, even in Jerusalem, we observe nowadays two days Yom Tov. (Maimonides - Kiddush HaChodesh 3:9, 5:7-8)

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17 Tishrei

Mitzvah to Live in Israel

I'm trying to get clarity on whether it is considered a mitzvah to live in Israel. Should a believing Jew live in Israel, or are other countries equally compatible with a Jewish life?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Land of Israel is central to Judaism. It is an intrinsic part of the covenant that God promised to Abraham and his descendants (Genesis 12), and most events recorded in the Bible took place in Israel.

The mitzvah to live in Israel is based on the verse, "You shall possess the Land and dwell in it" (Numbers 33:53). The Talmud states that "every 4 amot (about 7 feet) that a person walks in Israel is another mitzvah."

The question, however, is whether this mitzvah is compulsory in our times when the Holy Temple is not standing. This is the basis of a dispute between two great Talmudic commentators, Maimonides and Nachmanides. A leading 20th century sage, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, concludes that living in Israel is a "mitzvah kiyuma" – while it is a great mitzvah, there is no absolute obligation to do so.

The general approach today is that if both places (Israel and the Diaspora) are equally "livable," one should make the effort to live in Israel. very year, approximately 3,000 Jews make aliyah from North America – 90 percent of them religious.

Over the centuries, Jews have always yearned to live in the Holy Land, so much so that many individuals, and occasionally small groups, risked their lives to be there. Nevertheless, the mass movement of aliyah ("going up to Israel") for the most part did not occur until the advent of political Zionism in the 20th century.

Nachmanides (13th century Spain) knew that he would have to endure great difficulty in coming to Israel due to the primitive travel conditions and plagues that often broke out on the way. Nevertheless, at the ripe old age of 72 he made the ascent.

When he came to Jerusalem, he was struck with both awe and grief – awe that he was standing in the place where Isaac was bound on the altar, where Jacob dreamed of the ladder, and where King Solomon built the Holy Temple. But grieved by fact that the entire city lay in ruins; a recent attack by Mongols had left Jerusalem with only 2,000 survivors, and barely a minyan of Jews. When he saw the desolation, he tore his clothes to mourn Jerusalem's destruction.

He had come to Israel to achieve a higher purpose. The Talmud says that "A person who dwells in the Diaspora is like one who worships idols" (Ketubot 110b). The commentators explain that it is important to live in the right moral and spiritual environment – even if this means sacrificing some material comforts. One who doesn't follow this path is as if living under the aegis of negative forces.

Indeed, Israel is the only land conducive to prophecy, the highest level of communion with God. Even today, those who live in Israel experience extraordinary Divine assistance in Torah study and spiritual growth. As the Sages said, "The air of Israel makes one wise." Despite the security situation, in many ways one can experience a higher level of tranquility in Israel than can be experienced elsewhere.

Furthermore, many commandments only apply in Israel – for example the mitzvot of Trumah and Maaser (tithes), the Sabbatical year (Shmitah), and more. In fact, the Bible tells us that after Moses erred by hitting the rock, God informed him that he would not merit to enter the Land of Israel. Moses begged to be given permission – solely because he wanted the opportunity to perform the mitzvot associated with the land.

Of course, this is not to say that life outside of Israel is somehow not "worthwhile." A life dedicated to Torah and mitzvot is worthwhile wherever it is. Sometimes a person's contribution to the Jewish people can be even greater outside of Israel, especially when involved in Jewish education, outreach or community matters.

For someone pondering a move to Israel, many factors should be considered. Will you be able to find work that provides you with the time and money to fulfill the mitzvot – for example, Torah study, giving charity, and providing a Torah education for your children? The Sages emphasize that a person should come to Israel only if he is reasonably certain that he can support his family and guarantee a successful education for his children.

Interestingly, many Western immigrants in Israel today maintain a full-time job back in their country of origin (e.g. America and England), either by tele-commuting or flying back and forth. Many creative options are available.

Other factors to consider: How will you deal with living far from family? How do you feel about the security situation? How will you adapt to a new culture? What suitable marriage prospects are available? What appropriate Torah study program will you connect with?

Coming to Israel is sort of like getting married: Everyone should do so eventually, but not because a well-meaning relative bullies you into it. If you do so when the time is right, you're more likely to fall in love.

Of course, don’t wait forever. One man I know woke up one morning and realized: If I don’t go now, I'll never go. That day he announced at work that he was leaving, and so he did.

Finally, you should know that it takes time to get past the "I can't take it here anymore, I'm going home!" stage. Dealing with all the adjustments and bureaucracy in Israel can be frustrating. Indeed, the Talmud says that the Land of Israel is "only acquired with difficulty." But I assure you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and life in Israel is both marvelous and miraculous.

The help ease the transition, here are two excellent resources: Nefesh B'Nefesh (www.nbn.org.il) facilitates aliyah and even provides grant money, and AACI (www.aaci.org.il) is devoted to servicing the needs of immigrants from North America.

We pray to soon see the final redemption and the full ingathering of the Jewish exiles to our homeland.

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18 Tishrei

Angels

What does Judaism say about angels? Are they involved in our lives? I've always felt like I have a guardian angel, but I'd like to know more. Does it have a name? How do I communicate with it?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

First, let's try to understand exactly what an angel is.

If you see little children flying around your head with their wings flapping happily behind them, don't think these are angels. They're hallucinations! Real angels don't have bodies, wings, or one drop of physicality.

The reason, however they are quite often described as being winged humans (such as in Exodus 25:17, Isaiah 6:2, Ezekiel 1:5 and 10:18) is to help us understand something about their essence. This is similar to how the Torah describes God as having a "strong hand and outstretched arm." Of course, God doesn't have an arm! Rather, the Torah is conveying to us something about God's mighty strength in a way that we can understand. (Maimonides - Book of Knowledge 2:4)

Angels are defined as metaphysical beings who are messengers of God. They are spiritual, but they have no free will. They can only do exactly what they have been commanded to do by their Creator.

The word "Malach" (Hebrew for "angel") means "messenger," and it also translates as "work." In other words, an angel is a "messenger" of God who carries out His "work." Similarly, the English word "angel" comes from the Greek word "angelos" meaning "messenger" or "agent."

Angels are sometimes referred to as the "Heavenly Court," due to the fact that they administer the work of the King, God. That is to say, just as a King makes the plans but his court discharges them, so too God makes the plans and His angels discharge them.

This is meaning of the Midrash which says, "No blade of grass grows without an angel telling it to 'Grow!'" This teaches us that everything on earth has a spiritual counterpart that influences it. Even a blade of grass has an angel looking over it to make sure it receives nourishment, or causes it to die at its appointed time. Nations also have angels appointed over them. For example, the Torah recounts the famous story of Jacob fighting with Samael, the angel of Esav. (see Genesis 32:5, Midrash - Genesis Rabba 10:6, and "The Way of God" 2:5:3)

Each angel has only one particular task to fulfill. The most well-known angels are:

• Micha'el - (literally: "Who is like God") carries out God's missions of kindness. He accompanies a person on the right side, since "right" is always associated with kindness.

• Gavriel - "My strength is God" - is on the left side, which is always associated with the attributes of strength and judgment.

• Uriel - "My light is God" - goes in front of a person, as if illuminating the proper path to go.

• Raphael - "My healer is God" - protects a person from harm, and goes behind a person to "cover the backside."

Interestingly, we find three of these angels visiting Abraham in Genesis 18:2. Micha'el (kindness) had come to bring Sarah the good news of her pregnancy, Gavriel (judgment) came to overthrow Sodom, and Raphael (healing) came to heal Abraham following his circumcision. The angels such as those who spoke to Abraham were purely spiritual forces which appeared in human form.

Due to their unique nature, it is impossible to communicate with angels, although there have been stories of great Sages who were able to do so.

It is certainly forbidden to pray to angels. Not only forbidden, but it would be a waste of time since angels can only do what God tells them to do anyway!

However, God always has an attentive ear to his children, and He is waiting for your prayers. One good place to start is by reading the "Bedtime Shema," which includes a beautiful prayer about the four protecting angels that we mentioned above.

When you perform a mitzvah, you create an angel that accompanies you. The commandments which create that attachment are the true "guardian angels" of a person.