Ask the Rabbi

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15 Elul

Kippah for a Non-Jew

I have a few Jewish friends who wear kippahs and sometimes when I'm hanging out with them I feel out of place. Even though I am not Jewish, would there be any problem with me wearing a kippah, too?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Well, on one hand, the Pope wears a kippah.

But on the other hand, a non-Jew should not wear a kippah, since that might deceive others into thinking that he is Jewish.

In practice, non-Jews will sometimes wear a kippah while attending a Jewish religious function (many world leaders have been photographed at the Western Wall wearing a kippah), but in general a non-Jew should not wear one, due to the confusion it may cause.

However, since the idea of a kippah is to have the head covered as a reminder of God, you could certainly use some other head covering, like a cap, to serve that purpose.

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16 Elul

Who is Satan?

I have a Christian friend who is always talking about God's battle with Satan. Why is Satan allowed to come to earth to sow death, hatred, and other turmoil? It would seem to be much easier to have banned him before he caused the hurt of so many. Is this a Jewish concept as well?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Although Judaism introduced the concept of Satan, it differs significantly from the later Christian idea.

In Judaism, Satan is just another one of the many spiritual messengers (angels) that God sends to accomplish His purpose. Satan has no power independent of God; otherwise this would imply a lack of God's all-inclusive control and power.

It is my understanding that Christianity holds Satan to be independent of God; thus the idea of a “battle” between them.

The definition of the Hebrew word "satan" means an adversary (see Numbers 22:22). Satan's mission is to tempt people away from God and lead them astray. In this way, a person has the opportunity to strengthen their loyalty and connection to God. (see Talmud - Baba Batra 15a)

To learn more, read the biblical Book of Job, a classic case where Satan is sent to challenge one's relationship with God.

May the Almighty give us all the courage and clarity to overcome our challenges!

[antcreations]

just curious... any rabbi in here?

[LifeHiscost]

just curious... any rabbi in here?

No! But I'm in training.

 

...and from Jesus Christ, the faithful Witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To Him Who loves us and released us from our sins by His blood--and He has made us to be a kingdom, priests to His God and Father--to Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.   Revelation 1:5-6

 

God is Love! Jesus saves!

[phkrause]

just curious... any rabbi in here?

And I'm curious as to why??

[phkrause]

17 Elul

 

Relying on Miracles

With the ongoing problems in Israel, do you believe that God will intercede on the Jews’ behalf? And if He has done so many times in the past, why are the Jews not relying on that level of faith?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

This is great question that I, living in Israel, think about every day.

Indeed, God has made consistent miracles for the Jews in Israel - the sandstorm that ruined the Nazi plan for Rommel's troops to invade from Egypt and wipe out Israeli Jewry in the 1940s; the five invading Arab armies repelled trying to exterminate Israel in May 1948, another four Arab armies decimated while trying to annihilate Israel in 1967, and the scud missiles that Saddam Hussein rained on Israel in 1991 with virtually no loss of life.

Yet even though God has made consistent miracles, we are still required to make our own effort. The Talmud says this is learned from the fact that the show-breads in the Holy Temple would stay fresh every week - yet the Kohanim still made an effort to arrange air-pockets between the breads so they wouldn't get moldy.

God put us in a world of action, and He wants us to make the effort. Not because He needs it, but because we need it. Our actions create a change within us.

In the Talmud, a scoffer tells Rebbe Akiva: "You shouldn't be helping poor people, because it was God who made them poor, and by helping them you're going against God's plan!"

Rebbe Akiva answered: "God made poor people precisely in order that we should help them. Helping others is what God wants us to do."

We make our effort through the system God created called "nature." Of course, God can override that system, and when He does, we call it a "miracle." But God prefers to remain somewhat hidden, in order to preserve our quest to find Him.

There is a well-known story of a man who lived by a river. A policeman warned him to evacuate because of a flood warning. The man rejected the offer, saying, "I have perfect trust that the Almighty will save me." As the water rises, a rescue boat offers to take him to safety. The man reaffirms his trust in God and refuses the ride. Finally, the man is sitting on his roof and a helicopter comes to rescue him. Again the man proclaims his trust and refuses the rescue. The water rises and the man drowns.

As he is brought in judgment before the Almighty, the man says, "God, I had perfect trust in you - how could you let me down?"

The Almighty replies, "But, my son, I sent you a policeman, a boat and a helicopter!"

So that's why we make every effort here in Israel to quell the violence through diplomatic channels, military means, and public pressure.

On the other hand, we have to know that these efforts are not the true source of our salvation. The Torah says that for the Jews in Egypt, it wasn't until "We cried out to God, that He heard our voice and saw our affliction" (Deut. 26:6-9). We had to hit rock-bottom, to see there was no other option but to turn to God. At that moment, redemption was under way.

So, too, the final redemption is ultimately not dependent on politics, strategy or wealth. We have to reach the point where we feel totally helpless and defenseless, where we totally recognize that the Almighty is our only option. This is a national imperative for the Jews in Israel, and we are already seeing a socio-religious shift in that direction.

It makes sense. Connecting with God is the primary reason for our existence. So if need be, God will bring every force against us, and strip us bare of every possible escape, in order to bring us to the realization that He is the only answer we have. When we get to that point, that's when redemption comes.

So... will God intercede on our behalf? That depends on us.

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18 Elul

Fulfill Potential

My grandfather made a lot of money and left me a good chunk of it. I'm a pretty talented guy, but I enjoy mountain biking and hanging out with my friends. My parents are hassling me to "go to college and do something with your life." But I'm not sure what's the problem with my current lifestyle. I'm certainly not harming anyone. What should I answer them?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Allow me to share a story. The Netziv, Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, lived in Lithuania a few hundred years ago. He was the most famous rabbi of his generation, and it's said that in the 40 years he headed the yeshiva in the town of Voluzhin, some 10,000 students studied there. The Netziv wrote commentaries on all parts of the Torah, and once when he'd published a particularly difficult work, called "HaEmek Shayla," he called together his friends for a special celebration, where he told them the following story:

"When I was a child, I never paid attention in school. I was lazy and did not want to concentrate. Then one day when I was 11 years old, I came home from school and heard my parents talking. My father was explaining how he'd spoken to my teacher and together they'd concluded that I'd never amount to anything in terms of scholarship. So, my father explained, he was arranging to enroll me as an apprentice shoemaker as soon as I became Bar Mitzvah.

"I was so shocked by this conversation that I ran to my parents and exclaimed: 'I'm sorry I've been so negligent with my studies. Please give me one more chance to prove that I'm a good student.' And from that day onward, I applied myself to the study of Torah with tremendous vigor and dedication. Since then I have not wasted a moment and it is that devotion which has enabled me to write the commentary which we are celebrating today."

Then the Netziv continued: "But just imagine what would have happened had I not overheard my parents' conversation. I'd probably have ended up as a shoemaker. And I'd have been a pretty good shoemaker besides! But think of what would have happened at the end of my life when I'd get up to the Heavenly Court and they'd ask me: 'Naftali, show us what you've done with your life.' And I'd proudly show them my beautiful shoes: the fine workmanship, the quality leather and the exquisite design.

"And then they'd ask me: 'But Naftali, where are all the books you were to publish? Where are your 10,000 students?'"

The Netziv continued: "And what would I possibly respond??"

(Of course there is nothing wrong with being a good shoemaker. But in this case the Netziv had a different set of skills that made him fitting for great scholarship.)

Every human being was created with a unique set of skills and talents - and a unique set of life circumstances. The Almighty created each of us with a special role to fulfill, a special problem to fix, a spiritual greatness to achieve. The task of life is to figure out what is our specific unique purpose in life - and then embark on a path to achieve that purpose.

In your case, you're still young and you probably don't feel that time is passing. But it is. And quite likely, in another 5 or 10 or 20 or 30 years, you will wake up one day and say, "Oy - I've wasted so much time!"

That can be a tragic realization from which you may never recover.

So my advice is not to wait to figure out your higher purpose in life. Get started today, right now. Best of luck, and let me know how it goes!

[antcreations]

And I'm curious as to why??

Just wanting to have inter-faith conversations.

We (Christians) have so much to learn from Judaism.

[phkrause]

Just wanting to have inter-faith conversations.

We (Christians) have so much to learn from Judaism.

As far as I know there are no Rabbis here. And yes I agree, we have much to learn from Judaism.

[phkrause]

19 Elul

God's will

Why do many people say in response to certain situations, "It is God's will." How can any human say with certainty what is or isn't God's will? To know God's will, wouldn't one have to know God's mind?

I think many people use the phrase "It is God's will" to explain the unexplainable, to accept the unacceptable, and to make convenient for their sake that which is unattainable. This can be frightening when men use their perception of God's will to justify war/oppression/prejudice. Do you agree?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Of course we don't know for certain why God does what He does.

But we do know that God does not challenge us with trivialities. He only challenges us in ways which will truly get us to grow. If we're imbalanced in one area, He will send a challenge to modify that trait.

The whole concept of mitzvot is that they are actions which work against our nature. The Torah doesn't give us a mitzvah to breathe, because we're going to do it anyway. But since we may have a tendency to horde money, the Torah asks us to re-dispense 10 percent of our income to charity. If everyone gladly gave away money voluntarily, the Torah wouldn't need to bother telling us to do so. All the mitzvot direct our growth, building our weaknesses into strengths.

So whenever we encounter a challenge, we should train ourselves to ask: "What is this teaching me?" Find someone you trust, and ask for their perspective on whatever issues you're grappling with. Ultimately, we will never know for sure if we've hit upon the "ultimate" reason. But asking the question is always a crucial first step.

Difficulties are going to happen. That we cannot change. What we can change is our attitude. Will we view life's difficulties as a nuisance, or as a message? Life is not about suffering. Life is about growing and making the changes we were put here to make. To fulfill our potential and become truly great.

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20 Elul

Jewish Proselytizing?

Please forgive my ignorance, but can you tell me why it appears that the Jewish people do not actively encourage the rest of society to convert to Judaism and thus spread the knowledge of God and wisdom of the Torah to the rest of humanity?

Would not the Jewish aims – to bring peace, harmony, love, understanding and spiritual perfection to the world – be better achieved if Torah was shared with more of society, rather than being "kept" to people who happen to be fortunate to be born Jewish?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It would be discriminatory for Judaism to proselytize and try to convert those not of the religion. That would imply that everybody needs to be Jewish in order to make a relationship with God, participate in the Torah's vision of repairing the world, and "get to heaven." Yet this is not so.

The idea of demanding that everyone convert is probably familiar to you as a Christian ideal. For example, a Baptist group in Florida recently spent over $1 million to distribute a video entitled "Jesus" to every household in Palm Beach County. It's no coincidence that 60 percent of these homes are Jewish.

Be that as it may, the Jewish idea is that the Torah of Moses is a truth for all humanity, whether Jewish or not. The Torah (as explained in the Talmud – Sanhedrin 58b) presents seven mitzvot for non-Jews to observe. These seven laws are the pillars of human civilization, and are named the "Seven Laws of Noah," since all humans are descended from Noah. They are:

1) Do not murder.

2) Do not steal.

3) Do not worship false gods.

4) Do not be sexually immoral.

5) Do not eat the limb of an animal before it is killed.

6) Do not curse God.

7) Set up courts and bring offenders to justice.

Maimonides explains that any human being who faithfully observes these laws earns a proper place in heaven. So you see, the Torah is for all humanity, no conversion necessary.

As well, when King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, he specifically asked God to heed the prayer of non-Jews who come to the Temple (1-Kings 8:41-43). The Temple was the universal center of spirituality, which the prophet Isaiah referred to as a "house for all nations." The service in the Holy Temple during the week of Sukkot featured a total of 70 bull offerings, corresponding to each of the 70 nations of the world. In fact, the Talmud says that if the Romans would have realized how much they were benefiting from the Temple, they never would have destroyed it!

Of course, anyone wanting to take on an extra level of responsibility can voluntarily convert to become Jewish. But that is not a prerequisite for having a relationship with God and enjoying eternal reward.

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21 Elul

The Afterlife

Do Jews believe in the hereafter such as life after death?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The afterlife is a fundamental of Jewish belief.

The creation of man testifies to the eternal life of the soul. The Torah says, "And the Almighty formed the man of dust from the ground, and He blew into his nostrils the SOUL of life" (Genesis 2:7). On this verse, the Zohar states that "one who blows, blows from within himself," indicating that the soul is actually part of God's essence. Since God's essence is completely spiritual and non-physical, it is impossible that the soul should die. (The commentator Chizkuni says this why the verse calls it "soul of LIFE.")

That's what King Solomon meant when he wrote, "The dust will return to the ground as it was, and the spirit will return to God who gave it." (Ecclesiastes 12:7)

For anyone who believes in a just and caring God, the existence of an afterlife makes logical sense. Could it be this world is just a playground without consequences? Did Hitler get away with killing 6 million Jews? Could he really "end it all" by just swallowing some poison?

No. Ultimate justice is found in another dimension. There is obviously a place where good people receive reward and bad people get punished. (see Maimonides' 13 Principles of Faith: www.aish.com/jl/p/mp/)

The question of "why do bad things happen to good people" has a lot to do with how we look at existence. The way we usually perceive things is like this: A "good life" means that I make a comfortable living, I enjoy good health, and then I die peacefully at age 80. That's a good life. Anything else is "bad."

In a limited sense, that's true. But if we have a soul and there is such a thing as eternity, then that changes the picture entirely. Eighty years in the face of eternity is not such a big deal.

But the concept goes much deeper. From an eternal view, if the ultimate pleasure we're going after is transcendence - the eternal relationship with the Almighty Himself, then who would be luckier: Someone who lives an easy life with little connection to God, or someone who is born handicapped, and despite the challenges, develops a connection with God. Who would be "luckier" in terms of eternal existence? All I'm trying to point out is that the rules of life start to look different from the point of view of eternity, as opposed to just the 70 or 80 years we have on earth.

So what is the afterlife exactly?

From Judaism's perspective, this is the world of doing, and the "world to come" is where we experience the eternal reality of whatever we've become. When a person dies and goes to heaven, the judgment is not arbitrary and externally imposed. Rather, the soul is shown two videotapes. The first video is called "This is Your Life!" Every decision and every thought, all the good deeds, and the embarrassing things a person did in private is all replayed without any embellishments. It's fully bared for all to see. That's why the next world is called Olam HaEmet - "the World of Truth," because there we clearly recognize our personal strengths and shortcomings, and the true purpose of life. In short, Hell is not the Devil with a pitchfork stoking the fires.

The second video depicts how a person's life "could have been..." if the right choices had been made, if the opportunities were seized, if the potential was actualized. This video - the pain of squandered potential - is much more difficult to bear. But at the same time it purifies the soul as well. The pain creates regret which removes the barriers and enables the soul to completely connect to God.

Not all souls merit Gehenom. It is for people who have done good but need to be purified. A handful of people are too evil for Gehenom, and they are punished eternally. Pharaoh is one example.

So what about "heaven?"

Heaven is where the soul experiences the greatest possible pleasure - the feeling of closeness to God. Of course not all souls experience that to the same degree. It's like going to a symphony concert. Some tickets are front-row center; others are back in the bleachers. Where your seat is located is based on the merit of your good deeds - e.g. giving charity, caring for others, prayer.

A second factor in heaven is your understanding of the environment. Just like at the concert, a person can have great seats but no appreciation of what's going on. If a person spends their lifetime elevating the soul and becoming sensitive to spiritual realities (through Torah study), then that will translate into unimaginable pleasure in heaven. On the other hand, if life was all about pizza and football, well, that can get pretty boring for eternity.

The existence of the afterlife is not stated explicitly in the Torah itself, because as human beings we have to focus on our task in this world. Though awareness of an eternal reward can also be an effective motivator.

May the Almighty grant you blessings, success - and eternal life!

(sources: Maimonides - Foundations of Torah; The Way of God by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzatto; commentary of Nachmanides to Leviticus 18:29; Zohar, Mishpatim, Exodus 1:1; Arizal - Sha'ar Hagilgulim)

 

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22 Elul

Test of Arrogance

I am a high school student, and have a dilemma that has been bothering me for some time. I hope you can help me.

After a test, my teacher posts the highest marks on the bulletin board. I have gotten my name posted a few times so far, and then afterwards everyone looks at the bulletin board and comes to congratulate me. But I am worried that all this attention is making me arrogant. I considered asking my teacher not post my name, but then I figured that the recognition I get from having my name posted is helping to open doors to career and social opportunities.

What should I do?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It is fantastic that you are so concerned about this issue. Arrogance restrains us and inhibits us, because we become unnecessarily concerned over how we appear in the eyes of the others. That's why the Talmud identifies arrogance as one of the things that "removes a person from the world."

As for your question, I think you should have the teacher continue to post your name on the bulletin board as often as she likes. Don't run from the challenge. Rather, look at this as a good opportunity to work on developing humility - an opportunity you would not have if your name was not posted.

Here's a tool to help you conquer the challenge: The key to improving humility is to remind yourself that everything comes from God. If you catch yourself feeling somehow superior to other people, turn the feeling instead into gratitude to the Almighty. Thank God for giving you the strength and ability to do well on the tests in the first place. Learn to distinguish between "pleasure" and "pride."

Being both proud and humble is a tricky balance. The following story may shed light on how to attain this balance:

There was once a rabbi who carried two slips of paper in his pockets. In his left pocket was written the verse from Genesis 18:27: "I am but dust and ashes." In his right pocket he carried another slip of paper that said, "For my sake the world was created." (Midrash - Vayikra Rabba 36:4)

Before he would go to pray each day, he would reach into his left pocket to remember that in reality man was made from the "dust of the earth" (Genesis 2:7). He would then think how impossible it is to do anything without God helping him. How can the heart beat without God making it pump? And how can the lungs breathe without God willing it so?

While praying, he would reach into his right pocket and pull out the paper that said, "For my sake the world was created." And then he would remember the great love the Almighty has for every human being. He would have great feelings of self-esteem, and would ask God to fulfill all his needs and requests.

May the Almighty help you strike that perfect balance!

For more ideas, see Rabbi Noah Weinberg's 48 Ways essay, "Subtle Traps of Arrogance." http://www.aish.com/sp/48w/48953876.html

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23 Elul

Martyrdom & Sanctifying God's Name

In the Yizkor memorial prayer which we say on the holidays, we commemorate the souls of the martyrs who were "killed, murdered, slaughtered, burned, drowned and strangled" for the sanctification of the Name.

This raises two questions: Why is it considered sanctifying God's name if the victims went involuntary? And in general how is God's name sanctified through the slaughter of his people?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The mitzvah of Kiddush Hashem -- sanctification of God's Name -- is based on the verse, "I will be sanctified amongst the Children of Israel" (Leviticus 22:32). A Jew is obligated to act in a manner which causes others to regard God's name with reverence. The ultimate expression of this is when a Jew gives up his most valued possession -- his life -- for God, His Torah, and His values. (Maimonides - Yesoday Hatorah 5:1,11; Sefer Hachinuch #296)

This assumes that a Jew realizes that he's fulfilling this great mitzvah. This begs the question, what if he went involuntarily -- i.e. he specifically did not want to sanctify God's name? Furthermore, what about a 2-year old child that had no inkling of why he's dying?

Except for the known, inspiring stories of those such as Rabbi Elchanon Wasserman, who encouraged the victims as they were about to be killed, to purify their thoughts so as to be "unblemished sacrifices," we don't know what anyone was thinking when they were about to be shot, gassed or eliminated by the evil Nazis. The killers, however did know that they were killing Jews. And so did the nations of the world.

When a Jew is killed or suffers simply because he is Jewish, the uniqueness of the nation is thus underscored, and as it is deemed that he is dying for a Godly cause, God's Name is sanctified. Even if one did not do the will of his Master during his lifetime, when killed for just being Jewish, he is classified as a "servant" and his entire life is sanctified. ("Shoah" - ArtScroll, pg. 206-7)

There is another aspect of Kiddush Hashem. In Numbers 20:12,13 we read of the incident of Moses hitting the rock. Rashi there explains: "God's name is sanctified when judgment is done against His beloved, as He becomes feared and sanctified by the people." God is revered as an effective power that can carry out His word when justice in Godly terms is carried out.

Rashi mentions this idea in Leviticus 10:3: "When God executes judgment on the righteous, He is feared, awed and praised, and surely when He judges the wicked."

From this perspective, we can already begin to understand that even if the victim dies unwillingly, his death may still ultimately result in a Kiddush Hashem.

I have heard it explained that while many of the Holocaust victims did not have intention for Kiddush Hashem, there are an equal number of Jews who are ready to do such an act of sanctification, if ever called upon. We say this every day in the Shema prayer -- "to serve God with all your heart, with all your LIFE, and with all your resources..." We recall the Talmudic story of Rebbe Akiva experiencing an aspect of joy at being killed by the Romans, saying that all his life he was prepared to give up everything for God, and now that potential is being actualized. So as the Jewish people are one singular unit, the Almighty takes the intentions of those willing to sanctify, and unites those thoughts with the deeds of those who actually did sanctify.

For a powerful presentation of this idea, read "The Six Million Kedoshim" by Rabbi Ahron Lopiansky, and "Understanding the Holocaust" by Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits.

One final thought: When contemplating the self-sacrifice of the Jewish martyrs, Rabbi Noach Weinberg's question constantly rings in my ear: "You may be willing to die for God, are you willing to live for God?"

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24 Elul

Synagogue Dues: Pay to Pray?

I can't tell you how frustrated I am. I can go to any synagogue in my area on any given Shabbat to pray, but when it comes to the High Holidays, I need tickets. Some congregations are not even selling tickets. You have to buy a yearly membership. It seems to me spiritually wrong to require payment to fulfill a mitzvah.

It's this kind of attitude which turns me away from Judaism. I am boycotting the rest of High Holidays for this reason. Christian places of worship do not have this policy. It makes no sense for a single person like myself to join a congregation, since I don't use the facility enough to justify the expense. I would rather donate what I can to other charities that I deem to be in greater need.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts.

Let's start with the premise that every synagogue requires financial support. They have building and maintenance costs, and pay a rabbi who spends endless hours working to serve the community's spiritual needs.

Does this justify turning away a Jew who cannot pay? Absolutely not. At the very least, there should be a section designated for those who cannot afford to purchase a seat. In the synagogue I attend in Jerusalem, we have extra seating specifically for those who do not wish to purchase a seat or cannot afford one. Not exactly front row, but still in the ballpark.

When I was teaching at Aish HaTorah in Los Angeles, tickets to High Holiday services cost just $18. And someone who couldn't afford that got a seat anyway - not in a separate "poor section," but spread throughout.

I think this is primarily an issue of mentality amongst the Jewish leadership. It's crucial that the priority be serving the Jewish community, with running a business secondary. What's the point of having a synagogue if it turns Jews away from their heritage? I'm afraid if we don't do something to shift the attitude, there won't be enough Jews left in another generation to fill all these synagogues. In other words, we'll have shot ourselves in the foot.

I am confident there are many synagogues which offer subsidies, and where nobody is turned away for lack of funds. If you need assistance in locating something in your area, check out an excellent resource at www.nomembershiprequired.com

I must say, however, I'm surprised by your reaction to this whole situation. Who are you ultimately hurting by boycotting the holidays? Instead of saying: "That blasted synagogue! I'll teach them a lesson and defile my soul with some bacon!" Why not say: "I'll start my own synagogue and the policy will be free seating on High Holidays for those who can't afford tickets."

It's the difference between being proactive and reactive. Proactive means making your own reality happen. Reactive is allowing other people's shortcomings to hurt you. Judaism is a religion of action. So let me know when you start that synagogue. It'll be my honor to pray with you there!

Finally, this all reminds me of a joke. A man had to deliver an important message to his friend who was in synagogue on Rosh Hashanah. The usher wouldn't let him in because he didn't have a ticket. "Please, I just need a moment to give him the message!" "No way!" said the usher, "I have strict instructions: No ticket, no entrance!"

"Please," begged the man, "I promise... I won't pray!

 

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25 Elul

Baby Girls

I just got back from the hospital where my wife gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl! My question is: If it had been a boy, I know we would given the name at his Bris. But in this case, is there a special ceremony when a girl is born. When my brother had a baby girl recently, they didn't make any ceremony.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

First of all, Mazal Tov! May you merit to raise her to Torah, to the wedding canopy and to good deeds!

The naming of a Jewish daughter is a most profound spiritual moment. The naming ceremony is linked to the public reading of the Torah. During the Torah reading, a special "Mi Sheberach" blessing is said. The blessing begins with a prayer for the mother's health. It continues with the giving of the baby's name -- and a prayer that this new Jewish daughter should grow to be a wise and understanding Jewish woman of goodness and greatness.

The baby naming is traditionally followed by a "kiddush" in honor of the baby girl, where friends and relatives gather to share good food, speak words of Torah, and share the family's profound joy.

For details of how to choose a name for the baby, and the significance of a Jewish name, see the article, "Naming Your Baby"

 

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26 Elul

Life on Track

I am turning 40 in a few months and I am terribly frustrated seeing my life go by, without really fulfilling my potential. I cannot imagine being 20 years down the road and these same feelings of emptiness and regret, Can you suggest a plan for getting my life on track?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Kudos for writing and taking this all so seriously.

The first step is to get to the core of your life. You want to be rich. You want to be famous. You want to accomplish, to have an impact, to help others, to change the world.

But why do you want all this? What's driving you? When all is said and done, what do you want to end up with? For what do you want to be remembered?

Every day you have to re-ask these questions.

Dream your loftiest dreams and make a plan to achieve them. Imagine what you could accomplish if you were clearly focused on the goal.

I would like to share with you a quote; think how it applies to yourself.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'

"Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God."

My friend, you have the power. To start this process of self-discovery, ask yourself intimate questions, then wait for answers.

• What is the purpose of existence?

• What is my goal in life?

• Why did I choose my career?

• How do I spend my spare time?

• In what ways am I wasting time?

• What is my motivation for doing what I do?

• What really makes me happy?

• What are my future plans? Why?

• What are my secret dreams and ambitions?

Once you have some answers, make a plan to implement positive change into your daily life. Start slowly, taking one small step at a time, so not to be overwhelmed. Keep your eye on the goal and gauge your progress every day.

The key to success in this is to take a spiritual accounting. Imagine if a corporation conducted business without keeping track of its accounts and made no effort to chart profits and losses. The whole endeavor would be destined to fail!

The Sages note that this is exactly the approach many people take in their personal lives ― and regularly do "Cheshbon Hanefesh," a spiritual accounting. For example, if someone is trying to refrain from speaking Loshon Hara (gossip), he should keep track of the number of times he speaks Loshon Hara during the day. The power of this exercise is so great, that if a person performs a cheshbon for 80 consecutive days, they will assuredly become a new person.

There is an excellent book, written a few hundred years ago, called "Cheshbon ha-Nefesh" by Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Satanov. Find it at feldheim.com.

 

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27 Elul

Book of Life

I heard the idea that during the High Holidays, God writes one's name in a book. Where does this concept come from, and how can this concept bring meaning to the holidays for me?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Talmud (Rosh Hashana 32b) says that on Rosh Hashana, God inscribes everyone's name into one of three books. The righteous go into the Book of Life, the evil go into the Book of Death, and those in-between have judgment suspended until Yom Kippur.

In actuality, the vast majority of us are neither totally good nor bad. We're more like 50/50, so we have a few more days until Yom Kippur to tip the scales. That's why the Code of Jewish Law recommends going out of our way to do extra mitzvot during this time.

Rabbi Noah Weinberg asks the question: If someone is 50/50, he apparently doesn't need any type of drastic change. He should just do one more mitzvah to tip the scales, and then there's nothing to worry about - as long as he's holding at 51/49!

The answer is that the 50/50 weighing isn't a numbers game of one mitzvah versus one transgression. The reckoning goes according to varying degrees of mass and impact. Sometimes one good act will outweigh many mistakes. Conversely, there are some sins that can outweigh all the good you did.

So to ensure getting into the Book of Life, we need something really dramatic. For example, someone who sincerely chooses to take on Jewish observance has a 1,000-ton weight going for him. The act of coming full circle to Torah is a rare type of decision that can transform you into a different person.

Of course, wherever you're holding, it's important to do as much as you can. Don't gossip, show respect to your parents, eat kosher food. Whatever you can do, add to it. But what we're really looking for is the mega-ton weights. Look for breakthroughs - the one major decision that can truly change you.

And while you're working out a strategy, here's an inspiring story about Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berditchev, the 18th century Chassidic leader. He was known as "the defense attorney of the Jewish people," because he constantly beseeched God to deal kindly with His people.

One year, Rosh Hashana fell out on Shabbat, and Rabbi Levi Yitzhak went to the front of the synagogue to lead the congregation in prayer. Before beginning, he looked heavenward and said: "God, today is Shabbat. You taught us in Your holy Torah that Shabbat may only be broken in order to save a life. I demand that you keep the laws which You gave us. Since writing is a prohibited act on Shabbat, You have no right to record anybody in the Book of Death. You may only break Shabbat to record all of mankind in the Book of Life!"

May you have a sweet new year and be sealed in the Book of Life!

 

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28 Elul

Happy New Year

I am confused about some time frames. When is the Jewish New Year? Is it the month of Tishrei (Rosh Hashanah) or the month of Nissan (Passover)? In the Bible (Exodus 12:2), God says the first day of the year is in the spring, but I always see Tishrei referred to as the new year. Can you clarify this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Excellent question!

Rosh Hashanah commemorates the sixth day of creation - the day that the first human being was created. The reason why we celebrate Rosh Hashanah on this day (and not on the first day of creation) is because the entire world was only brought into existence for the sake of man.

The reason why the months are counted from Nissan is because that is when God brought the Jews out of slavery in Egypt - marking the birth of our people.

This reflects two aspects of God's involvement in the world. With Rosh Hashanah, we acknowledge God's role as Creator, while Passover commemorates God as the guiding hand of history. This dual-facet is reflected in the Kiddush over wine, where we say that Shabbat is "a remembrance of creation... a remembrance of the Exodus from Egypt."

So although the years are counted from Rosh Hashanah, the months are counted from the month of Nissan. Hence we have two new years!

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29 Elul

Clothing on Rosh Hashanah

This year I will be attending my first Rosh Hashanah service. Is there anything I need to know about particular clothes to wear?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Rosh Hashanah is the Day of Judgment - when we stand before God and plead our case to be given another year of life.

Normally, if someone would be in court with his life on the line, he would wear solemn black, feeling totally distraught at not knowing the outcome.

Paradoxically, on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish people wear nice clothes and eat festive meals. Why? Because we have confidence in God's kindness and the outcome of the decision.

On the other hand, however, Rosh Hashanah is not a fashion show and we shouldn't show up in synagogue wearing extra-fancy clothes like a tuxedo or embroidered silk dress! That's because we need a balance to take the Day of Judgment seriously.

Think of it as an experienced heart surgeon - he walks into the operating room confident, yet extremely cautious. That's our attitude on Rosh Hashanah, and it's reflected in our clothes.

(source: Mishnah Berurah 581:25)

 

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1 Tishrei

Afterlife Video

I was interested to read your explanation on the afterlife. However, perhaps you could clarify one point. I heard that "time" is a concept unique to this world, not existing in the World to Come. How, then, is it possible for a person to see a "video" of their life which is fundamentally time-governed?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The concept of seeing a "video" in the transcendent dimension is merely a metaphor. The reason why this metaphor is used is because it would be impossible to understand it in any other way. We live in a world bound by time, and therefore that is our only frame of reference to describe something that is otherwise inconceivable.

Metaphors are commonly used in Judaism to describe the indescribable. For example, God tells the Jewish people, "I shall redeem you with an outstretched arm." (Exodus 6:6) Of course, we know that God has no arm!

So in reality, there will be no video in the afterlife. Nor will there be a projection screen or popcorn!

 

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2 Tishrei

Doing Teshuva

In my youth I did some horrible things - both unethical and illegal. Is it possible to make amends for having lived a sinful lifestyle? Sometimes I feel so low that I can't imagine how I'll ever get back up. Is my soul permanently stained from all this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It is never too late, for as the Sages teach: "As long as the flame is burning, we can still make amends."

Teshuva is the Jewish idea of return. When we "do teshuva," we examine our ways, identify those areas where we are losing ground, and return to our own previous state of spiritual purity. And in the process, we return to our connection with the Almighty as well.

Teshuva was created even before the world was created, because God knew that it would be needed. Nothing stands in the way of teshuva, and the very fact that you have made the important step of writing this letter means that you have already begun the process of teshuva.

For successful teshuva, we have to realize that God loves us - even in light of all the mistakes we've made. Realize that God understands you, that He's "cheering you on," and wants to help. Don't feel guilty; any mistakes you've made are part of a growth process to get where you are today. Growth is what God created us for, and even the hardships are the best thing for us. God is not the "big bully in the sky"; He's on your side.

The classic Jewish book, "Gates of Repentance" says that if you do teshuva out of love, you can even transform your mistakes into mitzvahs. Sort of like "dry cleaning for the soul."

The process of Teshuva involves four steps:

Step 1 - Regret. Realizing the extent of the damage and feeling sincere regret.

Step 2 - Cessation. Immediately stopping the harmful action.

Step 3 - Confession. Articulating the mistake and ask for forgiveness.

Step 4 - Resolution. Making a firm commitment not to repeat it in the future.

These steps go only so far, however. If our past actions have hurt another person, we must ask their forgiveness.

By the way, the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the most auspicious time to do Teshuva. Though it can be undertaken at any season of the year, at any time of day.

For a full discussion of this topic, see: www.aish.com/h/hh/gar/

 

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3 Tishrei

Why be Jewish?

I'm just out of college and struggling to forge my identity. I have strong Jewish feelings, but am meeting some really nice non-Jewish women and am having trouble articulating why Judaism is so central to my identity.

Can you tell me why I should hang in there with the Jewish people?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Let’s start with the classic “bad” reasons: Your grandma will be upset. Guilt is not a sufficient motivator, and certainly 3,300 years of Jewish history has been driven by much more powerful forces.

Imagine someone buying a microwave for the first time, and not thinking they need to read the instructions. They put some food covered in tin foil in the microwave, and it starts to spark dangerously. It may even ruin the microwave.

So too with life. Life is quite complex – how to pick the right spouse, how to attain true happiness, how to get in touch with your spiritual side, etc. Just as any complex piece of equipment comes with instructions, so too God gave the world a set of "instructions for living" – the Torah.

Everyone is looking for immortality. Some people build tall buildings and attach their name; others create great works of art that will hang in a museum. Historians have not the vaguest ideas how to explain Jewish survival, especially during the last 2,000 years of exile. And it is not "Jewish identity" or "Jewish cultural products" which survive: Jews have been involved in assimilationist movements throughout history and those movements have not survived.

Rather, what survives is a specific way of life. Jewish values, beliefs and traditions seem historically indestructible.

The strength of Judaism is that human needs and desires remain consistent throughout history.

Even though some things may seem outdated (e.g. "Reuven's ox gores Shimon's ox..."), these are metaphors that apply to a wide range of situations, for example auto accidents. Judaism provides specific guidelines and methodology for deriving new laws from existing principles. There is nothing that Torah does not address – artificial insemination, space travel, etc.

By any measure the Jewish contribution to human life and thought is awesome. But with monotheism and morality, Judaism gives the foundation of a worldview and the essential agenda for the future. When it is appreciated that both these elements are of Jewish origin, world history takes on a different aspect: The world steadily becomes more and more Jewish!

Beyond this is the quality of life in traditional Jewish communities. Statistics show that these communities have great success in many important respects, including violent crime, drug addiction, divorce and family relations, literacy and general intellectual development. (Note that perfection is not claimed, only favorable distinction.)

One more point: Why is it that through the centuries, our ancestors have endured the torments of exile, torture and ovens – yet continued to remain loyal to the Jewish people?

Obviously Judaism must have provided them with some deep dividends. The values that the civilized world takes for granted – monotheism, love your neighbor, peace on earth, justice for all, universal education, all men are created equal, dignity of the individual, the preciousness of life – are all from the Torah. This is an enormous impact and we accomplished it under the most adverse conditions.

Finally, I suggest you start in earnest by attending a Discovery seminar. It provides an excellent overview of Jewish history, philosophy, and literature. The seminar is given in hundreds of cities throughout the world. For a current schedule, visit www.aish.com/dis/

 

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4 Tishrei

Jewish Calendar System

I'm confused every year when the High Holidays come out at the beginning of September, or the middle of the month, and sometimes in October. How does the Hebrew calendar correspond to the English calendar?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Jewish calendar is based on both the solar and lunar cycles. Every Jewish month begins with the New Moon. To ensure that the holidays occur in their proper seasons (e.g. Passover in the springtime), an extra "leap month" is added 7 times every 19 years. Thus, the Jewish calendar is "luni-solar."

This is in contrast to the solar civil (Gregorian) calendar, where the months have completely lost their relation to the moon. It is also different from the Muslim calendar, an absolutely lunar system, in which the months (and holidays) wander through all four seasons.

Interestingly, Jewish months are calculated at 29.53059 days, following the cycle of the moon. This practice is based on the Talmud (Rosh Hashanah 25a), according to tradition dating back to Moses and codified by scientists such as Ptolemy.

Incredibly, it took the modern world many centuries to confirm this figure. Only after calculations using solar satellites, hairline telescopes, laser beams and super-computers, did NASA scientists determine that the length of the "synodic month," i.e. the time between one new moon and the next, is 29.530588 days.

Amazing!

(sources: "The New Encyclopedia Britannica," 1990 Micropeadia, Volume 2, p. 740; "Blessing of the Sun" by Rabbi J. David Bleich, ArtScroll-Mesorah Pub., pp. 47-48; "Torah Shleima" by Rabbi S. Kashir 8:7; "Korot Cheshbon Ha'ibur" by Rabbi Z. Yaffe; "Perush" of Rabbi Ovadia Ben Ovadia - Laws of New Month 6:3)

 

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5 Tishrei

Who is a Leader?

How does one become a Jewish leader? Is there particular career path that you would recommend following?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

In the secular world, leadership is determined by whoever voluntarily runs for office, usually out of a desire for power.

Contrast this to Torah leadership, where there is no term of office, no contracts or promises. He becomes a leader only because the people respect his character and trust his judgment. He doesn't go in search of the honor. They approach him and they ask him to become their leader.

In fact, a Torah leader will resist the honor. When first approached by God at the Burning Bush, Moses protested: "Who am I that I should take the Jews out of Egypt?!" (Exodus 3:11)

A modern-day example is Rabbi Moshe Feinstein. In the introduction to "Igros Moshe," his monumental compendium of responsa, Rabbi Feinstein writes: "I would not have volunteered for the job of leading the Jewish people. But since this is the role that God has selected for me, I have no choice but to accept it."

Maimonides lists the qualifications for Jewish leadership, as derived from Yisro's description in Exodus 18:21: "A Jewish leader must be: a scholar in both Torah and secular wisdom, God-fearing, non-materialistic (as a guard against bribes), a seeker of truth, mitzvah observant (i.e. practices what he preaches), and modest." (see Laws of Sanhedrin 2:7)

In addition, the Talmud suggests that a leader shouldn't accept money from the community he serves – so they don't "own" him. His integrity must not be tainted by salary negotiations or a board of directors.

Wouldn't the world be different today if all leaders were accountable to such standards?

The truth is that people get the leader they deserve. If there is to be a revolution against selfishness and corruption, the change has to come from below.

Maybe it's time to demand integrity of our government leaders. Because if we let it slide, we all slide down with it.