Ask the Rabbi

[phkrause]

Tishrei 26 

Suffering: Why?

I have had a very difficult life, beset by illness, unemployment, and disappoint from those who had pledged to care for me. I am having trouble seeing the benevolent God in all this. What do you say, rabbi?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I am very sorry to hear about the difficult times that you have had to endure. The trials that you have gone through no doubt have obviously made your relationship to God a difficult one. I can understand why.

As a rabbi, I have witnessed the most horrendous situations imaginable. I have experienced a 20-year-old who lost both of her parents in a car crash. Can you imagine a girl so close to her parents and in one day they're gone? I've lived through a husband coming home to find that his wife has collapsed, and in two days she's dead. There was nothing wrong with her before. And on and on and on.

When someone is in the midst of suffering, that's not the time to offer answers. It's a time to listen and empathize and be with the person as best you can. If there's anyone going through a painful time and is looking for a sense of relief, I am skeptical whether these intellectual answers will offer any kind of relief.

Dealing with pain and suffering is never easy, particularly since we often feel so helpless and out of control. But one thing we do have control over and that is our attitude. Try to stick to this 3-part formula:

1) Look for the positive side to things.

2) Try not to judge God, Who knows more than we do.

3) Ask God for the clarity to understand how this is for the best.

Our perceptions of good and evil are directly related to our understanding of the world. An African tribesman who never saw a hypodermic syringe in his life could think upon seeing a doctor inoculate a child that the doctor was actually trying to hurt the child! Our perceptions change with information.

Therefore the Jewish approach to "suffering" is that everything happens for the good, but since we are finite and cannot see the whole picture, we perceive some things as bad.

God has more information than we do; thus we cannot judge Him and say He is doing something bad. We trust God and say, "I haven't yet figured out why, but God knows this is for the best."

The Talmud tells the story of Rebbe Akiva who was traveling on the road late one night. His only source of light, a candle, blew out; his mode of transportation, a donkey, ran away; and his only source of food, a chicken, died. The next morning Rebbe Akiva realized that armed bandits had plundered everything in the area. Had they seen his candle, or heard his chicken or donkey, they would have victimized him as well.

We can accept pain and suffering in the world by trying to see what positive side it may have. For example, a woman whose child was killed by a drunk driver went out and started MADD - Mothers Against Drunk Driving. This organization was responsible for revolutionizing the laws against drunk driving in America, and as a result has surely saved thousands of lives. It could be said that the purpose of this child was to elevate his mother to the towering heights of greatness that she indeed achieved as a result of the tragedy.

Of course it is not always easy to find the positive side. But even the attempt helps tremendously. It is interesting that if we look back on our own lives, the times we have grown the most are not when things have gone easy, but when they've been difficult. So many times what appears as "bad" or "negative" ends up being a blessing. A person could lose their job, for example, only to realize later that was the opportunity they needed to break into a growing, new field!

In the meanwhile, we have invested so much time and energy into worrying or regretting - all for nothing and all to our detriment. It is wise to remember that worry is defined as "interest paid in advance on a debt which often times never comes due." So when we are having problems, we can ask ourselves, "What have I learned or gained?"

Also, there are two excellent books I can recommend: "Why me, God?" by Lisa Aiken (published by Aaronson), and "Confronting the Loss of a Baby," by Yamin Levy (Ktav).

[phkrause]

Tishrei 27 

Pleasure

I could scarcely believe my eyes when I read your claim that Judaism teaches that the purpose of life is to seek pleasure. How can you, as a rabbi, be serious?

Judaism teaches no such thing. In the deepest sense, Judaism teaches that the purpose of life - the purpose of the world, the universe, and of God Himself - is ultimately beyond human understanding. In the more mundane sense, people do have a purpose, but seeking pleasure falls far behind doing what is right, just, and kind (whether or not doing so is pleasurable). Judaism does teach that there is nothing wrong with pleasure in itself, but it DOES NOT make pleasure the central point of living!

On what basis do you make this outrageous, unbelievable, and stridently non-Jewish claim?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Perhaps we need to define our terms. What is "pleasure"?

Every creature in the universe is programmed to pursue pleasure. The wolf seeks meat, the bear seeks warmth. That is an indisputable fact, and that's the way God wants it.

Human were created for pleasure, too. But unlike other creatures, humans have the ability to tap into their spiritual soul, and to pursue pleasure which is beyond the physical. That includes love, meaning, power, sacrifice for a cause, goodness, etc.

For example, the fact that a human will choose to give charity (instead of using that money to buy pizza), does NOT mean the person is giving up pleasure. Rather, they are trading a lower pleasure for a higher pleasure. The pleasure of helping others is perceived as having more value than another slice of pizza.

It's interesting that humans are the only species who will trade physical pleasure for a higher spiritual pleasure. (You will never see the wolf saying, "C'mon, guys, let's not push in line. And be sure to save some meat for Charlie, he's not feeling well today.") That's because only humans have a spiritual, Godly soul, which enables us to transcend the finitude of the physical world and to strive for the ultimate pleasure: the unity of One God.

* * *

Yet why is "doing the right thing" so often perceived as non-pleasurable? Because it can be uncomfortable to make such choices.

Pain is actually the price we pay for pleasure. All of life's lasting pleasures - good relationships, successful careers, the pursuit of meaning - require a lot of pain and effort to achieve. When an Olympic athlete pushes beyond the limits of endurance, he's in a lot of pain! But he does so because he is focused on the higher pleasure; in this case, victory.

The proof that humans are made for pleasure is that the Torah says: "And God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden" (Genesis 2:8). The word "Eden," according to the famous commentator Radak (among others), is the "Garden of Pleasure."

You are correct that in the final analysis, the world is beyond our understanding. But the Almighty gave us a measure of intelligence, and He wants us to figure things out the best we can.

So perhaps your question is only one of semantics. For a fuller Jewish definition of "pleasure," read "The Five Levels of Pleasure" by Rabbi Noah Weinberg.

[phkrause]

Tishrei 28

Halloween - Trick or Treat?

One of my fondest memories growing up was taking my little orange UNICEF box and collecting pennies - as well as yummy treats - on Halloween. It was also a great day for acting rowdy and causing a little trouble around the neighborhood.

Now that I have my own kids, I'm wondering - what is the Jewish position on Halloween?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Halloween has its roots in paganism, and was later adopted by Christians as All-Saints Day. (see Halloween history at: http://www.holidays.net/halloween/story.htm) Today, of course, the decorations and dressing up for Halloween in the U.S. is an innocuous secular holiday.

As for participating in such celebrations, one should not feel the need to “add” holidays to the existing Jewish calendar. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein writes regarding the secular holiday of Thanksgiving, for example, that Jews can celebrate the day without declaring it as a regular holiday or declaring steady customs like eating a special meal of turkey on that day. ("Igros Moshe" Y.D. 4:11-12)

I once heard a representative of the Jewish community being interviewed on the radio on the topic of Purim. "What is the significance of the Purim holiday?" asked the radio host. Explained the Jew: "Just as the Irish have a springtime drinking holiday called St. Patrick's Day, so too the Sages instituted Judaism's own springtime drinking holiday called Purim."

Absurd.

In truth, Purim is the Jewish costume day! Which reminds me of a wonderful story:

A man moved from the U.S. to Israel, and for some reason, in the middle of March, trick-or-treaters of every shape and size were buzzing around the streets of Jerusalem. Many of the costumes were incredible, and even some adults were dressed up.

When the doorbell rang, this man panicked. He didn't have a drop of candy in the house to give out. Who knew what tricks this crowd was capable of playing if he turned them away without a treat. Remember: "Trick or treat - double treat to smell my feet!" And what a nightmare the morning after could be, cleaning up the damage done by kids I that hadn't been "treated" well enough.

He opened the door, and standing there, grinning from ear-to-ear, were five costumed pre-teens, each holding a fancier stash of goodies than he'd ever imagined.

"I'm really sorry, guys," he started to say. "I just don't have anything to give you. I didn't know today was Halloween, please don't vandalize my house." The kids gave each other a puzzled look and began to giggle.

Finally the biggest boy quieted the others and said, "Mister, I don't think you understand. We didn't come to take anything from you. We came here to give you something." And with that, each of them handed him a beautifully wrapped gift baskets.

"Today is Purim," said a boy in a gorilla suit. "These are 'shalach manos' baskets. We all go around today and bring gifts of food to our friends and neighbors. Happy Purim!" With that, they turned and left. Empty-handed and happy.

Think about it. In Jewish consciousness, the real “trick” for having joy in life is not to take... but to give.

[phkrause]

Tishrei 29 

Safe to Visit Israel?

I'm a college student and have always wanted to visit Israel. I have the opportunity this summer to come for a free Birthright trip. But my parents are afraid of the security situation. Is it safe to come visit Israel at this time?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

In the absence of a full-scale war, things in Israel are about the same as they've always been. Aish.com’s offices are located directly across from the Western Wall, and it's been "work as usual." Of course, we use common sense and stay out of heavily-populated Arab areas.

If there would be an imminent and real danger, the rabbis would have called upon all people to leave Israel, being that life is of paramount importance. (Talmud – Pesachim 25a)

As with any activity in life, we must always objectively evaluate what is a reasonable amount of risk to take. For example, there is a clear mortal risk in driving a car. Yet this is an acceptable risk, because it is a risk that the public is willing to take. The Talmudic concept of "Dash B'rabbim" teaches us that although something does contain an element of risk, we can rely on the fact that God will protect us if it is a common activity.

Israel is one of the most dangerous countries in which to drive and over 600 people are killed each year in Israel through car accidents. An average of 100 Jews have been killed each year by terrorists – a fraction of the number killed in car accidents. But no one refuses to go to Israel for fear of being in a car accident.

As for the risk of violent crime, Israel is probably safer than most Western cities. Los Angeles, with a population of 3.8 million averages about 500 murders annually - 19 per 100,000. Between terror and other violent crime, the murder rate in Israelis 7 in 100,000. In terms of terror, 90% of violent incidents take place in the territories. If one avoids public buses and crowded restaurants, the risk factor drops to virtually zero.

The news creates a perception of a lot more violence than there actually is. A few deaths in Israel make headlines around the world. People who visit here comment on how “normal” life is.

In sum, while there are no guarantees of safety anywhere, the statistics do not point to a real risk when going to Israel.

Also, in deciding whether to visit Israel, it is important to consider that the goal of the terrorists is to break the morale of the Jewish people. Israel is under siege from the world press. During the height of violence, the drop in tourism and the impact on Israel's economy has been devastating. Choosing to stay away contributes – albeit indirectly and unwittingly – to aiding the terrorists in their effort to break the Jewish people.

The Jewish people are one. If our position in Israel is weakened or discredited, it will become unsafe for Jews throughout the world. Take note of the recent bombings of synagogues throughout Europe, and anti-Semitism on North American college campuses. By coming now, you act as a morale booster for Israel and the Jewish people throughout the world.

One additional point: Jewish law states that if one feels that his spiritual growth would benefit by being in Israel, while his parents are afraid of the security situation, this is one instance where it is permitted to go against the parents' wishes. (Code of Jewish Law – Y.D. 240:25)

I recommend two interesting articles about trips to Israel: "The Mother Brigade" (www.aish.com/h/iid/48891097.html), and another article pasted below.

=============

Sandy Thorn Clark, "All of Israel is Not at War," Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana)

Perhaps CNN and the rest of the American and British media will deal Israel far more of a blow than Palestinian terrorists...

CNN's ammunition comes in 20-second sound bites and two-minute video highlights of the daily skirmishes, bloodshed and killings in the Mideast. American and British media's contribution: two- to three-minute snippets leading most international newscasts and almost daily frozen-frame front-page photos of the sniping and slaughter in the Mideast.

The battle is not fought in the whole of the "Mideast" as it's become known in headlines. It's not even fought in the whole of "Israel."

Instead, it's fought mostly in the Gaza Strip along Israel's western border. Sometimes, it's in Ramallah. Sometimes, it's in Bethlehem or Hebron or Jericho or Nazareth. Sometimes, it's on Temple Mount. And, yes, sometimes it's even in Jerusalem. Though rock-throwing, name-calling, rioting, bombing, suicide bombing and killing are generally contained within small pockets or neighborhoods in Israel, the misleading inference from dramatic news footage and still photos is that all of Israel is entangled in war.

All of Israel is not at war.

I've just walked the serene shores of the Mediterranean, climbed the brick pathways at peaceful Old Jaffa, leisurely shopped in Tel Aviv's colorful Carmel Market, took a six-hour bus ride from bustling Tel Aviv to the resort of Eilat, rode an affectionate camel for four hours in the desert and mountains, relaxed on a calm four-hour cruise on the Red Sea, ate falafels at an outdoor cafe, sat on a balcony at Eilat's prestigious Crowne Plaza viewing the Jordanian border, explored the intriguing history of the Jewish people at Diaspora Museum, enjoyed a Spicy Craze pizza at Eilat's Pizza Hut, observed Israelis folk dancing on an outdoor patio, rubbed elbows with Israel's youthful military, and endured minimal security at Israel's Ben-Gurion Airport - all with the security and safety of my unadventurous daily walk at my local mall, Glenbrook Square in Fort Wayne, Ind.

[phkrause]

Tishrei 30 

Misquoting the Talmud

I recently stumbled on an anti-Semitic website and they had a whole list of Talmud sayings that sound very non-PC. One example was: "It is permitted to marry a 3-year-old girl," which they said means that Judaism condones sexual abuse of a young child. Another example was: "The best of the Gentiles, kill." Does the Talmud really say this stuff?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Misquoting Talmudic texts or taking them out of context is an age-old method used to incite anti-Semitism.

In the example that you cite, that a Jew may marry a 3-year-old girl, it simply means that under the age of 3, a "marriage" contract has no validity. Beyond that, any "marriage arrangement" made at above the age of 3 must be accepted and validated by the girl herself at such time that she attains maturity. The Talmud is discussing a technical legal point, not condoning abhorrent sexual activities.

As for: "The best of the gentiles, kill," the context here is very crucial. The question was raised, how could there be any horses chasing after the Jews with chariots (in Exodus 14:7), when they were all killed in the plague of hail (Exodus 9:19). The Midrash (Tanchuma – Beshalach 8) answers that the horses were owned by those who heeded God's warnings and locked his animals indoors (Exodus 9:20).

The Midrash concludes that these God-fearing Egyptians -- the best Egyptians – turned out to be the ones that gave their horses to chase the Jewish people. In other words, in this particular instance, even the best Egyptians turned out to be oppressors, too. Yet even they – "the best of the gentiles" – were deserving of death.

The Torah states unequivocally that ALL men were created in the image of God (Genesis chapter 1). In fact, the Talmud emphasizes that Adam was created from the dust of all four corners of the earth (so to speak), so that no one nation could claim superiority. And of course, it is forbidden for a Jew to kill a Gentile. (source: Talmud Sanhedrin 57a; "Taz" Y.D. 158:1).

So you see, one can change the meaning of anything by taking it out of context. And better not to waste time refuting these points one by one. God's Torah is morally perfect, and if something ever sounds otherwise, it is because it is not understood properly.

Click here for a full treatment of this topic.

 

ps:reminds me of those that like to misquote and take out of context, the Bible and EGW

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 1 

Who is a Jew?

I have always been under the assumption that being Jewish meant being of the Jewish faith, and/or being of the Jewish race. Please let me know if this is correct.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

"Being Jewish" is a technical status that requires citizenship in the Jewish nation, like being a U.S. citizen. Citizenship acquired in one of two ways:

(1) Born Jew: Jewishness is passed on via the mother. If the mother is Jewish, the child is 100% Jewish. If only the father is Jewish (but not the mother), then the child is 100% not Jewish. Jewish identity passed on through the mother has been universally accepted by Jews for 3,300 years, and was decided by God, as recorded in the Five Books of Moses in Deut. 7:3-4. The Talmud (Kiddushin 68b) explains how this law is evident from those passages.

According to Jewish law, this will remain the person's status forever. There is no way one can lose his status as a Jew even if he does not formally practice Judaism, and even if he has gone so far as to convert to another religion.

(2) Conversion: If a non-Jew wants to become a Jew he can do so by converting. Because of this, Judaism is clearly not a "blood-race." There are Chinese Jews, African Jews, Eskimo Jews, etc.

Once a non-Jew converts, he becomes a Jew in every regard, and his relationship with God is on the same level as any Jew.

According to the Code of Jewish Law, there are three requirements for conversion to Judaism:

1) He must believe in God and the divinity of the Torah as well as accept upon himself to keep the commandments in the Torah.

2) If male, he must undergo circumcision by a qualified "Mohel." If he was already circumcised by a doctor, then he undergoes a ritual called "hatafas dam".

3) He must immerse in the Mikveh – a ritual bath linked to a reservoir of rain water.

All of the above have to be done before a court of three Jewish men who keep the commandments, and believe in God and the divinity of the Torah.

These are the rules that Jews have followed since time immemorial. Historically, any attempt to introduce new rules has created a tragic schism in our people. We hope and pray that Jewish groups today who are pursuing this path will realize the serious damage this can cause to the ideal of Jewish unity which we all sincerely seek.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 2 

Seven Laws of Noah

I love the Jewish people and have enjoyed reading the many spiritual thoughts on your website. I want to draw closer to God, but from what I’ve read it is a very big commitment to convert. I don’t think I am up for this at this stage in my life. Is there some way to tap into the Torah wisdom without being part of the Jewish people?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for your inspiring words.

A person does not need to become Jewish to reach high spiritual levels, establish a relationship with God, and earn a reward in the world to come. Enoch "walked with God" and Noah had quite a high level of relationship, though neither were Jewish. Our tradition is that all of the 70 nations must function together and play an integral part in that "being" called humanity.

The Torah presents seven mitzvot for non-Jews to observe. These seven laws are the pillars of human civilization, and are named the "Seven Laws of Noah," since all humans are descended from Noah. Alas, many have forgotten these in the passage of time. Perhaps the best that we can do is to encourage all peoples to keep these and then it would indeed become a very different world. As explained in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 58b), they are:

1) Do not murder.

2) Do not steal.

3) Do not worship false gods.

4) Do not be sexually immoral.

5) Do not eat the limb removed from a live animal.

6) Do not curse God.

7) Set up courts and bring offenders to justice.

Maimonides explains that any human being who faithfully observes these laws earns a proper place in heaven. So you see, the Torah is for all humanity, no conversion necessary.

As well, when King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, he specifically asked God to heed the prayer of non-Jews who come to the Temple (1-Kings 8:41-43). The Temple was the universal center of spirituality, which the prophet Isaiah referred to as a "house for all nations." Non-Jews were welcome to bring offerings to the Temple as well. In fact, the service in the Holy Temple during the week of Sukkot featured a total of 70 bull offerings, corresponding to each of the 70 nations of the world. In fact, the Talmud says that if the Romans would have realized how much they were benefiting from the Temple, they never would have destroyed it!

Today, there are many active groups of non-Jews called "Bnei Noach" who faithfully observe the Seven Laws of Noah. Here are some websites (though I cannot vouch for their authenticity):

www.wikinoah.org

www.noahidenations.com

www.noachide.org.uk

www.1stcovenant.org

There are two excellent books on the topic:

"Path of the Righteous Gentile" by Chaim Clorfene and Yakov Rogalsky

"Seven Colors of the Rainbow" by Rabbi Yirmeyahu Bindman

You will also enjoy this interview with someone who faithfully follows the Laws of Noah: www.aish.com/jw/s/80405497.html

May the Almighty grant you blessings and success in your spiritual search.

 

ps: My question to the Rabbi would than be: Where in the Bible does it say that God specifically gave only these 7 to everyone else, but not the first 4??

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 3 

Land for Peace?

Is it permitted to disengage from areas of the West Bank, which constitutes the biblical heartland of Israel? Through news reports, I am able to keep up with what seem to be very frightening developments that world powers are trying to impose on our beloved Land of Israel. You at Aish, however, are literally on the frontline. What is your perspective on the situation: refugees, united Jerusalem, borders, etc.? I am anxious to hear of your hopes and fears.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Some people publicize the opinion that we have to defend (even with our lives at risk) all of biblical Israel and especially Jerusalem.

However, Rabbi A.Y. Kook, the first Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Israel, writes clearly that we should not endanger our lives because of land. In other words, we can give up land, if it will bring peace – colloquially called "land for peace." ("Mishpat Cohen" 142-144; c.f. "Michtavim U'Mamarim" 1:14 by Rabbi Elazar M. Schach)

The bottom line from a Torah standpoint is whether a particular political act -- in this case, giving up land -- will preserve the safety of Jewish lives, or endanger Jewish lives.

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef stated: "If the heads and commanders of the army, together with the government, state that saving of life is involved; that if areas of Israel are not given back, the danger exists of immediate war on the part of our Arab neighbors; and if the areas are returned to them, the danger of war will be averted; and that there is a chance of permanent peace; then it seems that according to all opinions it is permitted to return areas of Israel in order to achieve this aim, since nothing is more important than the saving of life."

In setting diplomatic policy, one general principle is that we should not do anything that will cause a severe backlash from the nations of the world. (Talmud – Ketubot 111a)

One possible solution to the crisis is to ensure that Arabs are educated in the ways of democracy, so they will see the benefit of upholding any agreements, and will protest against elements in their society that seek an all-or-nothing solution.

An additional factor needs to be considered: Holy sites like the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron and the Temple Mount in Jerusalem are our deepest roots. Cutting off the Jewish people from those places may likely have an adverse affect in terms of both morale and spiritual strength.

Certainly in terms of preserving access to the holy sites for all people, it would be best to keep them under Israeli control.

What will the political leaders decide? King Solomon wrote, "Like streams of water is the heart of a king in the hand of the Almighty. Wherever He wishes, so He directs it." (Proverbs 21:1)

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 4 

Workaholic

I own a business which takes most of my time. As a matter of fact, I don't have any time left over for my wife and kids or anything else. My wife and kids are the most important people in my life, I just want to be the best husband and father I can possibly be.

But I feel that something is missing. When I attend synagogue, I find myself reading the prayers or the Torah portion without any emotions, almost as if it was just a book. Do you have any suggestions how to make my life more real and more meaningful?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Your letter reminds me of a story:

Mr. Schwartz is an investment banker in a major Wall Street investment firm. He's spending most of his days trying to reach his lifelong goal: to earn $25 million. He and his wife have three kids.

One day, a wealthy philanthropist named Cohen, who unfortunately has no children, comes to pay Schwartz a visit. He says, "Your kids are growing up without a father. You're off to work before they get up, and home long after they've gone to sleep. On weekends, you're at the club entertaining clients from out of town. A child needs a father. I'll give you the biggest shortcut of your financial career. You're spending your whole life to make $25 million dollars, right? I'll write you a check right now for that amount. All you have to do is give me one of your children to adopt."

Now, what does Schwartz the banker say to this generous offer?

$25 million dollars gets his attention. But even he realizes that there are things in life that you can't put a price tag on. He stares Cohen right between the eyes and announces: "No deal."

Now imagine the scene. Schwartz has just shut the door on $25 million dollars. He drives home, walks inside and sees his three kids playing on the living room floor. What do you think he does when he sees them?

He rushes over, and with tears in his eyes, gives each of them a big hug and a kiss. "You darling creatures are worth more than all the money in the universe!"

Then he says to himself, "Where have I been all their lives? I have something at home that's worth more to me than all the money in the world and I'm lucky if I spend an hour a week with them."

So what does Schwartz do? He calls the office, announces he's taking a two-week vacation, sends the maids, nannies and babysitters away. He's going to spend two blissful weeks with his kids.

After struggling for half an hour to get the stroller open, Schwartz makes it to the park. He and the kids are having a grand time. But then comes dinner, bath and story time. After enduring food fights, floods in the bathtub and endless readings of "Babar Goes to the Circus," Schwartz flops down on the couch, turns to his wife and says, "Perhaps I was being a bit hasty in taking that two-week vacation. You know I have a lot of responsibilities at the office..."

Similarly, I hear from your letter how deeply you care for your family. But emotions have to be given a setting to properly express themselves.

You are suffocating emotionally under your workload, to the extent that you do not even have time to spend with your family that you love more than anything.

If you cannot manage to find time for your family, how do you expect to feel anything when you pray?

A person is not a machine, and prayers are not switches that you turn on and off.

You must spend a little time before praying, think about one of your lovely children and how much you care for her/him. Then thank God in your heart for that little smile that you care for so much. Imagine soft, moving music in the background while you think about how grateful you are to God, and how much you would like to get close to Him and connect with Him.

Ask God to bring you close, and He will. But give Him a chance.

You know what our priorities should be. You just sometimes get distracted. So you need to concentrate on connecting your heart to your mind – and acting upon that which you intellectually know to be right.

But if you are always running around taking care of business, it's not going to happen.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 5 

Names of Hebrew Months

How did the Hebrew months get their names? When did the names of the months come about and to whom are they attributed?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If you look in the Bible, you'll see that the Hebrew months don't have names. Rather they have numbers, counting from the month of Nissan, which is described as "the first month" (Exodus 12:2).

In 1-Kings 6:2 the month of Iyar is referred to as the "month of Ziv." The word "ziv" is an adjective and means "radiance." Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov explains that it is called "radiance" because in this month the sun is in full radiance. Similarly, the Jewish people came into full radiance in this month, for they were made ready to receive the Torah during this month.

1-Kings 6:38 refers to the month of Cheshvan as "the month Bul," related to the word "baleh" which means, "withers," and the word "bolelin" which means "mixed." It is described in this fashion since the grass withers in this month, and the grain is mixed for the household livestock. The Radak explains that the word "bul" is related to "yevul" which means produce, since plowing and planting begins in this month.

Other names we use today are Babylonian in origin, adapted by the Jews some time during the Babylonian Exile, circa 400 CE. Ironically, the month of Tammuz is the name of an idol which appeared (via optical illusion) as if it was crying. This was achieved by putting soft lead into its eyes, and by kindling a small fire inside, which would melt the lead. This explains the reference in Ezekiel 8:14: "There were women sitting, causing the Tammuz to cry."

There are other opinions about the name of this month. Rashi says that the name Tammuz is an Aramaic word meaning "heat," since it is a hot summer month.

Another interesting note: Tammuz-17 was the name of the Iraqi nuclear reactor destroyed by Israel in 1981. It was so named because the 17th of Tammuz is the day that Jerusalem was sieged prior to the destruction of the Temple by Nebuchadnezzar, and Saddam Hussein was known to fancy himself as the heir to Nebuchadnezzar's fallen dynasty.

It's not any more unusual than the Western world whose months are connected to pagan practices: March is named after Mars, June is named after Juno, etc. Furthermore, even the days of the week - e.g. Sunday, Monday - are called after "sun" god and the "moon" god. The name Tuesday is connected to the Norse god of war.

Even though the names of the months are linguistically speaking Babylonian, they were adopted by the Jews with the understanding that they were Divinely inspired names, and are laden with kabbalistic nuances. Based on this, the Sages expounded the names of the months - e.g. Elul is an acronym for "ani ledodi vedodi li" (I am to my beloved, and my beloved is to me”), and Nisan is the month of "nissim" (miracles).

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 6 

Playing Music on Shabbat

I have a question concerning playing music on Shabbat. My uncle is a wonderful guitar player and singer. He writes many songs and aspires to share his music with the world one day. On a recent Shabbat, we were at a friend's house where many people were singing. I asked him to play, but he declined, saying it was against Jewish law.

I feel this may be stretching the restrictions. For me, I believe that Shabbat is a time to share joy with family and friends. Music is a wonderful way to do this.

I am not seeking to criticize my uncle. I just want to get a better grasp on the concepts, so that I can discuss this point with him in a more educated manner.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I appreciate the sincerity of your question. Of course there are many beautiful aspects of Shabbat -- the candles, the challah, the wine, and the opportunity for family and friends to be together.

Yet these aesthetic elements must not obscure the essence of Shabbat. It is a commemoration of the Creation of the world. Since God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh, in our effort to emulate God we likewise work for six days and rest on the seventh.

The Talmud (Shabbat 73a) describes 39 categories of "creative acts" which we refrain from on Shabbat. These are the 39 powers of creation that exist in the world, corresponding to those acts performed by God (so to speak) in creating the world. Just as God refrained from creative activity on the seventh day, we do likewise. And when we refrain from that which is prohibited on Shabbat, we are, in the truest sense, being God-like.

The job of protecting the Shabbat (as well as other mitzvot) was entrusted to the wisest and most dedicated leaders of the Jewish people, the members of the Sanhedrin. These leaders made certain enactments to protect the uniqueness of the Shabbat experience. One enactment is to not play a musical instrument on Shabbat. This is due to a concern that playing an instrument on Shabbat could lead to fixing an instrument in a way that infringes on one of the 39 types of activity.

If these laws are not respected, then the Shabbat experience is ultimately diminished. And since Shabbat is a cornerstone of Jewish life, this measure was taken to ensure that observance of Shabbat is maintained for all. Further, the enactment was approved and accepted by the entire Jewish nation.

Further, the Sages made no distinction between string and wind instruments. Frequently the Sages will enact a decree that way, because otherwise many people would get confused about what is permitted and what is not.

Music that involves only the body -- e.g. singing and whistling -- are permitted on Shabbat. All instruments are not.

I would like to share with you a story from pre-War Europe:

In the city of Dinov, Rabbi Tzvi Elimelech would sing the Shabbat morning prayers. As he would sing, he would gaze through the window and see the lush green rolling hills, the flowers splashing color against the deep blue sky. All this would move him to sing with great emotion the "Nishmat" prayer:

"If our mouths were filled with song like the sea is full of water, and our tongues as full of joyous song as the sea has waves, and our lips as full of praise as the breadth of the heavens, our eyes as brilliant as the sun and the moon, and our hands as outspread as eagles of the sky, and our feet swift as hinds -- we still could not thank You sufficiently."

Week after week, the non-Jewish shepherds would hear this song wafting over the country plain. They would stop their work to listen attentively, and many would even walk to the synagogue to hear the rabbi sing.

When the rabbi died, the congregation felt a rupture in their hearts. All week long they mourned, but on Shabbat, which is a time for happiness, they tried to restrain themselves. Yet the cantor, when he reached the "Nishmat" prayer, stopped to swallow a tear.

Suddenly, the entire congregation heard the rabbi's melody filling the synagogue! Everyone looked out the window to see the non-Jewish shepherds singing the rabbi's song. (from "Tales of the Chassidic Soul")

Indeed, music is a great part of Shabbat. That's why there is a rich heritage of Jewish melodies which add to the Shabbat atmosphere. Many of these songs are printed in the standard Siddur. So while you may miss your uncle's guitar playing one day a week, remember that he is keeping the Shabbat experience fully alive, as Jews have done, for thousands of years.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 7 

Historical Dating: Jewish versus Secular

In learning through your excellent “Crash Course in Jewish History” (www.aish.com/jl/h/cc/), I notice that in referencing some historical dates, the Jewish dating system and the Christian dating system vary by as much as 150 years - but by the time we get to the Roman period (i.e. the Christian year 1) the discrepancy disappears. Why?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Jewish dating system is taken primarily from a book called "Seder Olam Rabba," dating back to the 2nd century CE and attributed to Rabbi Yosef ben Halafta. The sources for the dates in Halafta's book come from rabbinic traditions recorded in the Talmud as well as numerous chronologies written in the Hebrew Bible.

It is also essential to remember that traditional Jewish chronologies (since the beginning of the Jewish calendar almost 6,000 years ago) are based on the highly accurate astronomical phenomenon of the moon orbiting the earth (months) and the earth around the sun (years). This gives traditional Jewish chronology a high degree of accuracy, especially when it comes to the major events of Jewish history.

Actually, the "secular" calendar has experienced many difficulties in trying to properly "align itself with the stars." Back in 46 BCE, the calendar had become hopelessly confused. Julius Caesar was forced to abandon the previous lunar system, replacing it with a tropical year of 365.25 days. Further, to correct the accumulation of previous errors, a total of 90 intercalary days had to be added to 46 BCE, meaning that January 1, 45 BCE, occurred in what would have been the middle of March.

Over the next 1,600 years, the disagreement between the Julian year of 365.25 days and the tropical year of 365.242199 gradually produced significant errors. The discrepancy mounted at a rate of 11 minutes 14 seconds per year - until it reached a full 10 days. In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII proclaimed that 10 days should be skipped in order to bring the calendar back into line. This was accomplished by designating that October 5 become October 15. In other words, the dates October 5-14, 1582 were simply eliminated.

So how do we get the chronology that historians use today?

Historians in the late 19th and early 20th centuries worked backward and pieced it together. This was done primarily through comparing what little historical records survived from ancient Rome, Greece, Mesopotamia and Egypt, together with archaeological finds and radio carbon dating.

Because there are margins of error in all of these methods and much is open to interpretation, significant debates erupted between different scholars which continue to this day. Therefore, the chronologies used by modern historian can best be described as well-educated guesses.

Jewish chronology makes a stronger case for historical accuracy, and that's why we have chosen to use the traditional Jewish dates.

Today there are a number of renowned scholars also challenging the modern chronology and even attempting to reconcile it with the Jewish chronology. Amongst them is British scholar Peter James who writes: "By redating the beginning of the Iron Age in Palestine from the early 12th century BCE to the late 10th, a completely new interpretation of the archaeology of Israel can be offered: One which is in perfect harmony with the biblical record." ("Centuries in Darkness" by Peter James; Rutgers University Press, 1993, p. 318.)

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 8 

Candle Lighting Times

I say that Shabbat begins 18 minutes before sundown. My son says it begins after lighting the Shabbat candles. Who is right?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You're both right! (How's that for a diplomatic answer?)

Shabbat starts with candle-lighting, which is traditionally 18 minutes before sunset.

The reason why we light candles a few minutes early is in order to avoid any possibility of starting Shabbat late. Think of it as a train leaving the station. If you're one minute late, you've missed it.

It is, however, permitted to "start Shabbat early." This is simply done by lighting the candles, or through a verbal acceptance of Shabbat.

The earliest time to start Shabbat is an hour-and-a-quarter before sunset. Many communities do this during the summer months, when sunset can be very late -- even 11:00 p.m. in parts of Europe. (And don't even ask me about Alaska!)

Keep in mind that this is not exactly an "hour-and-a-quarter" on your clock. That's because the Jewish day -- from sunrise to sunset -- is divided into 12 equal parts. So no matter how long or short the day is, each twelfth is considered "one hour." It's a bit complicated, so you may want to have a rabbi help you with the math.

By the way, though most communities light Shabbat candles 18 minutes before sunset, local custom may vary. For instance in Jerusalem, the custom is to light 40 minutes before sunset. (see Minchas Yitzhak 9:20; Sefer Eretz Yisrael p. 26; Badei HaShulchan 73:14)

And one more point: While women usually begin Shabbat upon lighting the candles, men usually begin Shabbat as part of the Kabbalat Shabbat synagogue service.

Aish.com has a fantastic online chart that tells you the exact candle-lighting time for your local city. Go to: www.aish.com/sh/c/

Shabbat Shalom!

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 9 

Raising Children in a Jewish Environment

My husband is a university professor. We live in a small city with a very small Jewish community. I see my friends and relatives who live in cities with a thriving Jewish life and for us everything seems like such a struggle. Most of all I worry about our children and how they will be able to forge a proud Jewish identity in such an environment. I don’t want to pressure my husband to leave the job he loves, but I am concerned.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

On Friday night, when we bless our sons, we say that they should be – not like the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – but rather “like Ephraim and Menashe.” Why were they chosen as the subjects of this important tradition?

A beautiful explanation is articulated by Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch (19th century Germany):

The first generations of Jews – Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – raised their children primarily in the Land of Israel. The Holy Land is the most hospitable Jewish environment, where the Talmud reports that "even the air makes you wise." So in one sense, that was easy.

But with the famine, Jacob and his family all moved to Egypt. The next generation would grow up surrounded by paganism and immorality. The test was whether Judaism would survive amidst all the distractions and challenges of diaspora life.

It is not an easy task. But Ephraim and Menashe succeeded. And throughout the ages, Jewish parents have prayed that their children should be able to withstand the temptations of exile, and keep a strong, proud Jewish identity.

In one sense, your children have a great advantage. When someone grows up surrounded by other Jews, he has less opportunity to think about what Judaism means to him, simply because he is not confronted by others to do so. But your children – whether it’s wearing a kippah in public, or only eating kosher food – have the challenge of justifying and articulating their actions. This ultimately strengthens their commitment.

Of course, a small Jewish community has a downside as well – primarily the lack of educational opportunities. But for now, this should help you to focus on the positive.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 10 

Who is a Mamzer?

My mother has, unfortunately, been through a number of marriages and other living-together arrangements. This has produced a hodge-podge of children from different fathers. I actually was conceived through an affair that my mother had, and she has never revealed the identity of my biological father. To make a long story short, I was speaking with my friend (who wears a kippah) and he said that I should check out that I may be a mamzer. I remember that my grandma would call someone a "mamzer" as a kind of curse. The Internet didn't help much, because I don't know what information is reliable. Can you please help set things straight?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

A child is a mamzer if he is the result of relations with a Jewish man, that a Jewish woman is forbidden to marry – e.g. the result of incest, or an adulterous affair.

A child that was born to an unmarried woman, is simply considered a child born out of wedlock, and is not a mamzer. However, if the woman was married at the time of conception, then that is adultery and the child is a mamzer.

A woman must be sure to receive a proper Get if she is being divorced, otherwise she is still considered married and subsequent children are considered as mamzers. It should be stressed that a civil divorce does not sever the marriage from the Jewish point of view. Only a Get can create a proper divorce. (see: www.aish.com/jl/l/m/103423494.html)

A Jew who is a mamzer must keep all the commandments just like any other Jew, but he does have severe limitations regarding whom he can marry.

That's the legal aspect. The philosophical aspect raises the question: Why is the mamzer punished for the parents' mistake? The answer is that adultery (or incest, which also produces a mamzer) is one of the most terrible crimes, and the reality is that while people will sometimes hurt themselves, they will think much more carefully about hurting their children. So this is a deterrent factor.

The soul of a mamzer, for reasons unbeknownst to us mortals, must undergo the limitations of being a mamzer for the purpose of fulfilling his mission in the world. The circumstances that each individual finds himself in are directly related to his unique mission. For some it may be a physical handicap; for others, a metaphysical one. The mamzer is not paying for his parents' iniquities, he is being given a specific challenge for his own growth.

I think the key for you at this point is to try to find out what really happened. The question of whether you are a mamzer depends on a number of things:

1) Was your mother born of a Jewish mother?

2) Was she married to a Jew at the time she had relations your father?

4) If she was married to a Jew, was the original wedding ceremony "kosher" in Jewish law?

5) If yes, was she divorced from her first husband according to Jewish law with a "get," or was it a civil divorce?

As you can see, there are many, many details of Jewish law pertaining to this, and anything said in this email cannot be used to determine a practical application in any specific case. A potentially wrong answer could have serious long-term consequences for the people involved.

Bottom line: If you have any questions about your status, or about that of any particular young woman, you need to speak with a reliable authority in Jewish law. If you tell me what city you're located in, I'll be happy to recommend someone you could contact.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 11 

Purpose of Animals

It is my understanding that God created everything for a reason, and yet it seems that creatures such as ants, flies and mosquitoes only do bad – spoiling food, spreading bacteria and diseases. Should we try to preserve these species, or maybe we should just eliminate them all as a nuisance?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

King Solomon wrote in Proverbs, "Go to the ant, you sluggard; see its ways and grow wise. Though there is neither officer nor guard nor ruler over her, she prepares her food in the summer and stores up her food in the harvest time." (Proverbs 6:6)

The Midrash explains that King Solomon was warning lazy people to learn from ants since ants never stop working. Throughout their lives they continuously store up food – in fact more food than they could ever eat! Likewise, man should also seek to do mitzvahs. Just as the ant "prepares her food in the summer," so too we should seek to do mitzvahs all the time we are alive. And just as the ant enjoys her food at "harvest time," so too we will enjoy our reward in the World to Come. (Midrash – Devarim Rabba)

The Talmud writes: "If the Torah had not been given, we could have learned modesty from the cat (because it relieves itself in private), prohibition of theft from the ant (since they do not take food belonging to another ant), fidelity from the dove (because they only have one mate), and good manners from the rooster who first sweet-talks and then mates." (Rashi, Talmud – Eruvin 100b)

Elsewhere the Mishna writes, "Be bold as a leopard, and swift as an eagle, and fleet as a hart, and strong as a lion, to do the will of thy Father in heaven." (Ethics of our Fathers 5:20)

And this is only talking about the lessons one can learn from animals. When we think about the enjoyment and fun we can also have from owning pets – or even going to the zoo – animals take on an even more important place.

As for what we learn from a mosquito, I am sure you will be able to find at least one redeeming feature that they add to God's creation. (Some have suggested that he provides food for a variety of birds.) But I wouldn't wait until he lands on your arm to start pondering such a question...

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 12 

Struggle

I have been in a year-long legal battle with someone who is trying to literally destroy my life. This has been the biggest challenge I have faced in 25 years (when I lost $5 million in a business deal gone sour). I just can't figure out what God wants from me on this. Any ideas?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It is very difficult for us to "judge" God because we are stuck in time and space. And because our view is so limited, we are therefore limited in terms of knowing which ground rules God is employing. When "bad" things happen, there are so many possibilities of why it's happening. "Is this a challenge in life that was given to me so I could become an example to inspire others? Or is this to get me to fix a wrong I've done? Or is this due to historical/national forces that are affecting me as an individual? Or is what's happening to me now through a choice that I've made? Or that I'm on my own because I've distanced myself?"

Sometimes what we perceive as punishment is really an opportunity for growth. In the story of the "Binding of Isaac," the Torah says that "God tested Abraham." Of course God already knew what Abraham was capable of. So who was the test for? It wasn't for God; it was for Abraham.

I want to share a story that I heard from a friend who experienced the following incident. If you've ever ridden a bus in Israel, you know how people enter the bus from the front door and pay the driver, and people exiting the bus do so from the back door. Sometimes the bus is so crowded that people will also enter from the back door, and then pass their money up front to pay the driver.

Well, this one time the driver decided he wasn't going to allow that. He announced that whoever had entered from the back door, must now get off the bus and walk around to the front. Everybody complied grumpily, except for one very old man who could barely walk in the first place. Yet the driver stuck to his guns and announced that the bus would not move until this old man came on through the front door.

So slowly, slowly, one small step at a time, the old man got off the bus and walked around. And all the while, the people on the bus were shouting at the driver for not only his insensitivity to the old man, but for wasting everyone's time!

Finally, the old man managed to make it up through the front door and pay the driver. And then he turned toward the bus full of angry people and told them: "Please, don't be upset. We should be grateful that my legs still work, and I have the strength to walk. Thank God!!"

The Almighty only provides a challenge that you can pass. Apparently this is the challenge that the Almighty gave for you to grow. I know you can rise to it and take pleasure in your success. And it will make you stronger and better.

I want to conclude with the following poem I once read:

I asked for strength and

God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom and

God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity and

God gave me brawn and brain to work.

I asked for courage and

God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for love and

God gave me troubled people to help...

My prayers were answered.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 13 

Stolen Funds

In my college days, I stole approximately $300. This was 7 years ago. I have wanted to give it back all this time. But I am too embarrassed to tell the guy I stole from. Also, he might go to the police or something. Here's my questions:

a) How can I return it to him and be forgiven without telling him it was me?

Since the whole thing was actually another's guy's idea, yet I did the deed, are we both equally responsible.

c) Do I have to send him some interest, or will he be happy enough receiving money out of the blue?

Please advise.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

First, I am deeply moved by your desire to make amends. Imagine the sensitivity of your soul to be bothered by this for so long!

This reminds me of an incident that happened to me recently. I was visiting my old neighborhood where I used to live. Suddenly a boy about 12 years old called out to me from down the street. He ran up to me and said, "Excuse me, did you used to live here?" "Yes," I said. "Well, about five years ago I borrowed a dollar from you, and now I'd like to return it." He had borrowed one dollar at age 7 and had never forgotten it!

So on to your questions...

a) If you think this person will go to the police, then you should give it back anonymously. If you are not afraid of him going to the police, you must ask him for forgiveness as well.

Whoever actually stole the money has to pay back. It doesn't matter whose idea it was, since anyway the Torah prohibits stealing. Which means that if someone suggests to steal, the suggestion has no force to override the pre-existing Torah prohibition.

c) You do not have to pay any interest.

If for some reason you can't locate the person you stole from, you should use that money to assist in some community-related project.

May the Almighty bless you for your honesty.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 14 

The Purpose of Life

I'm 16, thinking about my life, college, career. I see a lot of unhappy adults and I don't want to end up like them. They have a lot of money, but their personal life seems empty. So, rabbi, what is man's purpose in life?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Believe it or not, the purpose of life is to attain pleasure.

A primary source of pleasure is having power.

What is power?

A glance at the world would tell us that power comes from owning things. Ownership is the ability to control, which gives us the feeling of power. The more things we own, people believe, the more power we have!

In truth, however, "things" are temporary since they often break and deteriorate. When the object breaks, so does our power. This cannot be true power, since true power must transcend breakage. It is logical to conclude that true power must transcend physicality all together. It also follows that true transcendent power should only be able to be obtained by plugging into a truly transcendent source of power.

God and His Torah are the truly transcendent sources of power.

Every drop of Torah that is learned, and every mitzvah accomplished, gets one closer to God and nourishes the soul, which is also transcendent. This nourishment gives the soul power, not only in this world, but even when the soul has departed from the body at life's end. This is truly transcendent power!

What does all this have to do with pleasure?

Just as true power cannot be obtained by amassing "things" (since the power it caused was merely transient), it follows that true pleasure must also have a sense of permanence and not be merely a fleeting pleasurable moment.

Permanent pleasure is being plugged in to God. God created the universe so that we could experience this pleasure.

Pleasure is knowing that God loves us. Pleasure is knowing that God is intimately involved in our lives. Pleasure is knowing that our soul is eternal and is completely pure. Pleasure is knowing that there is meaning in life and that our actions on Earth make a difference.

This pleasure is obtained by giving power to the soul - which comes through learning Torah and connecting to God, the ultimate source of power and pleasure.

To learn more, see www.aish.com/sp/48w

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 15 

Overcoming Hatred

I've been thinking a lot about all the strife in this world - between individuals, between countries, between races. I understand that hatred occurs when there is hostility between two people, and neither have a desire to see the positive in each other and build a friendship.

Surely, given the vast range of different personalities around, people will come across others with whom they simply do not get along, and if they try to associate with them, the hatred will just build. Isn't it better to just agree to differ and avoid contact with them?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah says: "If you see the donkey of someone you hate lying under its load, you must help him unload it" (Exodus 23:5).

While the verse addresses alleviating the pain of an animal, it also presents another issue: Helping someone you "hate" unload his donkey.

We see from here that the way to overcome hatred is to help the other person, care for them, and give to them. When I give to someone, I invest a piece of myself, and therefore we become bonded.

Of course, if your hatred is greater than your ability to be patient and giving, and the interaction will end in a fight, then it's better left alone. But if you are capable of overcoming the challenge, then it's good to put yourself in a situation where you are forced to help the object of your dislike.

Otherwise, hatred left alone will just fester, waiting to explode. And is that really the type of world we want to live in?

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 16

The Number 30

I am turning 30 in a few weeks, and I'm wondering if the number 30 has any significance in Judaism?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It certainly does!

The Talmud says that 30 is the age when we reach the prime of our energy (Avot 5:21).

Also, royalty is attained through 30 requisites (Avot 6:5).

The lunar month is a few hours less than thirty days.

Also, there are numerous laws attached to the number 30:

A Nazir vow, when not specified for how long, is for 30 days.

A Kohen serving in the Holy Temple should have a haircut every 30 days.

Pidyon HaBen, redemption of the first-born, is after 30 days. (Numbers 18:16)

So happy birthday - and may you fulfill the prime of your energy!

 

ps:That reminds me, I need a haircut! Oh and by the way, I'm not a Kohen!! hahahahaha

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 17

The Nose & Smells

I've always found something quite spiritual about my sense of smell. And having read that the highlight of the Yom Kippur service in the Holy Temple was bringing incense into the Holy of Holies, I can't help but wonder about the deeper significance of the olfactory sense. Can you explain?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah (Genesis 2:7) states that "God breathed life into the form of Man." The Hebrew word for "breath" -- nesheema -- is the same as the word for "soul" -- neshama. One's spiritual life force comes, metaphorically, by way of air and respiration.

The senses of taste, touch and sight are used to perceive physical matter. Even "hearing" involves the perception of sound waves. But breathing, and its associated sense of smell, is the most spiritual of senses, with the least physical matter involved. As the Talmud says: "Smell is that which the soul benefits from, and the body does not."

I think there's truth to common expressions like, "He has a good nose for business," and "Something doesn't smell right." Smell is intangible, yet very intuitive. It represents one's internal compass. The Talmud says that when the Messiah comes, he will "smell and judge" -- that is, he will use his spiritual sensitivity to determine complex truths.

Indeed, the nose knows!

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 18

Mazal Tov!

I am not Jewish, but I frequently hear the words "Mazal Tov" at a wedding or on television. What is the origin of this expression?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Mazal is the astrological influence that a person is born under. The Talmud (Shabbat 156a) discusses what has a greater influence on a person: the day of the week (with attributes based on the days of creation), or the planetary sign. This influence is a spiritual flow that God has set into creation (and it is not any independent power, God forbid).

That is why we wish people "mazal tov" - literally that they should have a "good mazal."

On the other hand, the same piece of Talmud states the concept of "ain mazal l'Yisrael" - that Jews are not bound by any astrological influence, and are able to override any predetermined astrological pattern.

In Jewish thinking, a person's whole future is mapped out in the stars, and for one who knows how, reading the stars is like reading a book of the future. It is, however, forbidden for a Jew to read the stars or listen to someone who can do so. The Torah tells us that God took Abraham and lifted him "above the stars." Abraham was able to have a child at age 100, with his 90-year-old wife Sarah that had no womb! A Jew, God told Abraham, should be "above the stars." The message is that the stars would have no influence on Abraham or his future descendents.

The Talmud cites the example of Rebbe Akiva's daughter, whose mazal indicated that she would die young. However, the tragedy was averted by her involvement in Torah and mitzvot, specifically doing kind deeds. (At her wedding celebration, she took time out to tend to the poor people; the snake that was destined to bite her was killed instead.)

By elevating herself, she literally changed her human nature, and thus the original mazal-influence no longer applied.

Our horoscopes are only as true as we allow them to be. Unfortunately, it is much easier to go through life on automatic pilot. Life can go where the stars say it will, or where we want it to go. The choice is entirely ours.

So you see, while we wish people good "mazal" (i.e. their "default" influence from above), we also strive to change and improve that influence.

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 19

Mixed Identity

My father is Jewish and my mother is not. I live in a Jewish community and have Jewish friends. I attend Jewish lessons every Monday, and dinners with rabbis on the Jewish holidays. If I date a Jewish girl, will her family not want her to marry me because my mother is not Jewish? I have half-brothers and a sister who are totally not Jewish. I'm a bit confused.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts.

It appears that your confused identity is a tragic result of intermarriage.

According to Jewish law, you are not Jewish.

Jewishness is passed on via the mother. If the mother is Jewish, the child is 100% Jewish. This is true regardless of who the father is, and whether he is Jewish or not.

So now you are in a terrible quandary. You identify as a Jew, but you are not Jewish. Who should you marry? An Episcopalian? I think not.

It appears there are two options for you right now.

Judaism presents seven mitzvot for non-Jews to observe. These are the pillars of human civilization, and are named the "Seven Laws of Noah," since all humans are descended from Noah. As explained in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 58b), they include the prohibition against theft, murder, and sexual immorality.

Maimonides explains that anyone who faithfully observes these laws earns a proper place in heaven. Today, there are many active groups of non-Jews called "Bnei Noach" who faithfully observe the Seven Laws of Noah. The Bnei Noach are people have a very "Jewish" feeling, but are not Jewish. For example, see this article: www.aish.com/jw/s/80405497.html

To learn more about the origins and ideals of Bnei Noach, see an excellent book on the topic, called "The Path of the Righteous Gentile," by Chaim Clorfene and Yakov Rogalsky.

The other alternative is to pursue conversion to Judaism. This is not simple, given that you will want to make sure it is "kosher" from a Jewish legal perspective. According to the Code of Jewish Law, there are three requirements for a valid conversion:

1) Mikveh – All converts must immerse in the Mikveh – a ritual bath linked to a reservoir of rain water.

2) Milah – Male converts must undergo circumcision by a qualified "Mohel." If he was previously circumcised by a doctor, he then undergoes a ritual called "hatafas dam."

3) Mitzvot – This is the clincher. The convert must believe in God and the divinity of the Torah, as well as accept upon himself to observe all 613 mitzvot (commandments) of the Torah. This includes observance of Shabbat, Kashrut, etc. – as detailed in the Code of Jewish Law, the authoritative source for Jewish observance. This means that a motor vehicle is not used on Shabbat, that cheese is eaten only with kosher supervision, that a woman uses the mikveh every month, and much much more.

The conversion process must be done before a court of three Jewish men who themselves believe in God, accept the divinity of the Torah, and observe the mitzvot. In the case of someone who denies fundamental principles of Jewish belief (such as, the word-for-word divinity of the Torah), or offers to perform the conversion without requiring full mitzvah observance, the conversion would be invalid according to the Code of Jewish Law. As you could imagine, this would create a variety of confusions regarding the person's religious identity, and that of their children. And in your case, this would only further complicate things.

There are two excellent books which are helpful for conversion:

- "To Be A Jew" by Chaim Halevi Donin – www.amazon.com/dp/0465086322

- "Becoming a Jew" by Maurice Lamm – www.amazon.com/dp/0824603508/

Also recommended are two real-life accounts of non-Jews who converted to Judaism:

- "Migrant Soul" by Avi Shafran – www.amazon.com/dp/0944070450/

- "The Bamboo Cradle" by Avraham Schwartzbaum – www.amazon.com/dp/0873064593/

You have a special soul which is yearning to find truth. For the sake of your spiritual health, I suggest you start immediately!

ps:notice that he only mentions "the code of Jewish law," but no shred of evidence from the Bible!!!

[phkrause]

Cheshvan 20

In the Image of God

Maimonides' 13 Principles of Faith states: "I believe with perfect faith that God does not have a body. Physical concepts do not apply to Him. There is nothing that resembles Him at all."

What, then, is Genesis 1:27 referring to when it states: "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him." Is this a "spiritual" image?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Does God have ears because it says, "God heard the sound of your words" (Deut. 1:34)? Does God have a mouth since it says, "God spoke to us" (Deut. 1:6)? Does God have an arm since it says, "I shall redeem you with an outstretched arm" (Exodus 6:6)? Does God have a hand, as it says, "I raised My hand to give it to Abraham" (Exodus 6:8)?

Nope!

So why does the Torah use human terms to describe God?

Because the human mind is limited, and therefore lacks the ability to conceive of God who is perfect. So the Torah describes God in familiar terms, in order that we should grasp aspects of God's character. For example, we can appreciate that God has the power of communication (mouth), the trait of kindness (right hand), etc. This is a very deep subject and is the basis of volumes of Kabbalistic work.

As for the specific verse you cited in Genesis, what does it mean to be "in the image of God"?

Humans are like God in the sense that we have free will. Free will does not mean picking chocolate over vanilla. That's simply a preference, just as a cow chooses to eat hay instead of grass.

Rather, "free will" refers to decisions which are uniquely human: a moral choice to do right or wrong. This stems from the divine soul that is unique to all human beings.

There are times when you know objectively that something is good for you, but your physical desires get in the way and distort your outlook. The animal soul within us wants to choose the easy path, which may not be the morally correct choice. Sometimes we can actually hear ourselves fighting it out. Here's a conversation you may have had with yourself:

Divine Soul: "Let's get out of bed early today and really accomplish something meaningful!"

Animal Soul: "Leave me alone, I'd rather sleep."

Divine Soul: "Come on, let's be great!"

Animal Soul: "Relax, what's the big deal if we wait till tomorrow?"

What's going on? Are you schizophrenic? No, just battling opposing sides within yourself. And that's what makes the human being so unique. Of all God's creatures, only humans can become elevated through choice, as we are not bound in our decisions by any pre-ordained laws. That's truly divine!

To learn more about free will, go to www.aish.com/sp/f/48965061.html