Make an ugly woman your wife....

[phkrause]

Good post Neil. I have never had to go thru a divorce so I have no idea what its like. Been married to my wife now for 37 years. Had our share of problems but always been able to work stuff out. She's not the most beautiful, but neither am I, outwardly speaking. But she has inner beauty and I would hope and pray I do too. That's what attracted me to her, even though to me she is outwardly beautiful. Like Redwood mentioned she or he can be, beautiful or handsome, on the outside. But the most important is that inner Christ like character.

pk

[Neil D]

a lot of a woman's self esteem comes from a man...and if she respects him....if she doesn't, she'll walk...

I saw a movie called "Johnnie Lingo", I think...It's an old 10 minute film..put out by the mormons... The story is of an polynesian culture where the most elegible batchular of the village buys the most ugly woman of the villiage. In this villiage, the dowry of a woman is how many cows the suitor is willing to pay for his future wife...According to Johnnie, most will offer 1 or 2 cows...it is rare for a woman to be offered 3 and on occasion, she might be a 4 cow wife...And since wives, in this village, often go to get water for thier house hold, they gossip and say "I was a 1 cow woman"...another says "I was a TWO woman." and so it goes, with one woman trying to out do the other....but Johnnie didn't want a 3 cow woman...he wanted his wife to be so proud so he bought his wife for 10 cows....this is a source of pride to the woman....so much so, that the once most dispised woman of the village, who was so ugly, now is living up to the expectations of a 10 cow wife, and is very beautiful. According to Johnnie, the father in law says that now, he let his daughter go too cheaply....

....which is a commentary on women and respect.....

men; treat your woman like a 10 cow wife, and she will not disappoint you...

[Bravus]

Too broad a generalisation: vanity is unattractive, sure, but there are lots of sources of vanity other than looks, and lots of good-looking people who aren't vain as well.

In the end, it's the mirror that you look into that shows you your own character that will contribute the most to a happy marriage. This thread focuses on what she is or is not offering you, but what are you offering her?

[Woody]

Now you are teaching us Mormonism? Boy ... we gotta watch you closely. You is slippin up man. I am being kind to you about this ... but others may feel the need to 'rebuke' .

[Bravus]

Huh wah huh? Mormonism? D3wd, I sometimes struggle to follow your thought processes (which I freely admit is a shortcoming on my part).

[Woody]

Neil said :

Quote:

I think...It's an old 10 minute film..put out by the mormons...

And Bravus ... again I offer you my forgiveness. I realize that my thoughts at times are VERY deep.

[Stan]

it is

If you want to be happy the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife... so from my personal point of view, get an ugly woman to marry you

It has been going through my head all day, and had to find it out. Maybe now it will leave me alone...

[Bravus]

LOL - aaah, I was just mistaking a rebuke to Neil for a rebuke to me...

Yep, too deep for this little fishie.

[Woody]

Ahh. I see what happened. That's the internet for ya. Nah. I wouldn't want to rebuke you. My rebuking is reserved for Neil.

[Dr. Shane]

Quote:

Johnny Lingo is a shrewd Polynesian trader. He has come to one island to bargain for a wife. Mahana, the young woman he desires, is considered by her neighbors and even her father to be of little value, sullen, ugly and undesirable. As the bargaining is about to begin, women of the island brag to each other of how many cows their husbands had given for each of them, and comment that Mahana's father will be lucky to see one cow as Lingo's offer. The counselor advises Mahana's father to ask for three cows so that finally, Moke (Mahana's father) will at least get one cow.

The bargaining begins and as the counselor suggested Moke asked Johnny Lingo three cows. Islanders laugh derisively, then wait for Lingo to make his counter-offer, certain that he will make a devastating bargain.

Lingo, considering, says that three cows are many . . ."But not enough for my Mahana!" He then offers the unheard-of price of eight cows for her hand in marriage. The next day, the villagers gather at the house of Mahana's father to see the completion of the deal. Some of the islanders say that Lingo reconsidered his deal and would not show up. But Lingo brings the cows. He and Mahana then leave the island on a trading trip.

When they come back, the island storekeeper, Harris ), discovers, to his astonishment, that Mahana is a beautiful, happy woman. Even Mahana's father began accusing Johnny Lingo of cheating him by giving only eight cows for a girl truly worth ten cows. Johnny, her proud husband, had proved to her that her true worth had nothing to do with what others saw, but only what she truly was.

He had made the best bargain of all -- a few cows for a life with the woman that he loved.

This an excellent story which teaches us not only to love others but illustrates how Christ's love for us transforms us.

[Liz]

I had heard of that Johnny Lingo story before, when I was in school. I always thought it was sweet.

Never marry an ugly woman, it just takes the life right out of you.---Red West, Roadhouse.

[olger]

Quote:

Yes I've heard that song. Its inner beauty that we want not outer beauty!!

pk ... can one have both inner AND outer?

Yes.

`og

[Kountzer]

I remember listening to that song on the radio when I was a boy. Never thought I'd see it being commented on here.

DB

[Amelia]

If You Wanna Be Happy by Jimmy Soul

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small

And very often causes his downfall

As soon as he married her and then she starts

To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife

A-you'll be happy for the rest of your life

An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time

And she'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

Don't let your friends say you have no taste

Go ahead and marry anyway

Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match

Take it from me, she's a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

[Neil D]

I wonder what prompted the man to write the song....

[phkrause]

Sing it out Amelia!

pk

[Bravus]

Still reckon everyone's best bet is to focus on what's inside themselves. They're own good, caring, loving characters will attract people of similar character, and the outward appearance will be irrelevant.

(PS My wife is gorgeous, though she can't see it herself)

[Dr. Shane]

It seems the author of the song was primarily concerned about having a wife that was a good cook. That reminds me of a Jerry Reed song:

Well, I guess it was back in ’63

When eatin’ my cookin’ got the better of me,

So I asked this little girl I was goin’ with to be my wife.

Well, she said she would, so I said “I do”.

But I’da said I wouldn’t if I’da just knew

How sayin’ “I do” was gonna screw up all of my life!

Well, the first few years weren’t all that bad –

I’ll never forget the good times we had

‘Cause I’m reminded every month when I send her the child support.

Well, it wasn’t too long till the lust all died,

And I’ll admit I wasn’t too surprised

The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin’ out on the porch.

Well, I tried to get in – she changed the locks!

Then I found this note taped on the mailbox

That said, “Goodbye, turkey! My attorney will be in touch!” Mm-hmm…

So I decided right then and there

I’s gonna do what’s right – give her her fair share.

But brother – I didn’t know her share’s gon’ be THAT much!

She got the gold mine! She got the gold mine!

I got the shaft. I got the shaft.

They split it right down the middle,

And then they give her the better half.

Well, it all sounds sorta funny,

But it hurts too much to laugh.

She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft.

Now, listen – you ain’t heard nothin’ yet:

Why, they give her the color television set,

Then they give her the house, the kids, and both of the cars! See?

Well, then they start talkin’ ‘bout child support,

Alimony, and the cost of the court –

Didn’t take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was!

I’m tellin’ ya, they have made a mistake

‘Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes!

Besides; everything I ever had worth takin’, they’ve already took!

While she’s livin’ like a queen on alimony,

I’m workin’ two shifts eatin’ baloney,

Askin’ myself, “Why didn’t you just learn how to cook?!?!”

They give her the gold mine! She got the gold mine!

They give me the shaft. I got the shaft.

They said they’re splittin’ it all down the middle,

But she got the better half.

Well, it all sounds mighty funny,

But it hurts too much to laugh.

She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft.

Well, she got the gold mine! She got the gold mine!

I got the shaft. I got the shaft.

They split it all down the middle,

And then they give her the better half.

Well, I guess it all sounds funny, Hoo, hoo, hoo, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

But it hurts too much to laugh.

She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft.

(They ain’t kiddin’ me – I got the shaft.)

Well, I don’t have to worry ‘bout totin’ a billfold n’more.

Hahahahaha…

I let my wife tote it; I’mon’ be carryin’ food stamps –

You get it, judge? I’mon’ be… Just… Hahahaha…

Ah, it’s not funny, huh? Huh? Huh?

Contempt of court? Whaddaya mean?

Listen, judge: I’s just kiddin’!

[Robert]

Still reckon everyone's best bet is to focus on what's inside themselves.

[Robert]

I suspect that may be more true of highly educated women than it is of pretty women.

No, I think it is more about the looks thing....Maybe both together are a lethal concoction?

Rob

[Neil D]

Originally Posted By: Bravus

Still reckon everyone's best bet is to focus on what's inside themselves.

No, Paul says "there's nothing good" there. One's best focus is the indwelling Christ when it comes to character.

Quote:

My wife is gorgeous, though she can't see it herself

That's because you are biased towards her (as you should be). You love her therefore she is the best looking woman in the world.

Rob

With all due respect Robert, you and I are in the same boat...And we can't say much toward what its gonna take to get a good wife. We can say what NOT to do toward your current wife though....and I suspect that we have learned what MIGHT be good to keep a good wife...and we MIGHT be able to say one or two things from time to time....

[Neil D]

The premise here is that pretty women are more likely to think too much of themselves, be too selfish and thus be poor wives. I suspect that may be more true of highly educated women than it is of pretty women. I know of some drop, dead, gorgeous women that are poor and I know their husbands. Their husbands seem to be much happier than other men I know married to highly educated women.

I was going to let this go, and not say anything [but Robert brought it up and well, I just had to say something...me and my motormouth]

...but your post seems to indicate that the less educated a woman is, the more inclined she is to stay married. And that just runs counter to fulfilling a womans desire to be an intelligent thoughtful woman...

I suspect that the more educated a woman is, the more she is aware and the less tolerant of men's boarish behaviors she is willing to take. IOWs, in her view, men should know better, but some of the men persist in stupid behaviors that are not conducive to relationships...Why does she have to put up with that?

Im just echoing some of the women's thoughts here....and probably some of my own...

[Dr. Shane]

I think we can easily see a coalition between the number of women graduating college and an increasing divorce rate. Now that may be because educated women knows better than to put up with a "boarish" man. Or perhaps an educated woman can earn enough income she doesn't need to put up with a "boarish" man. Either way, for the boarish man, an uneducated woman would probably be best.

That said, I believe it is clearly a mistake to assume a woman, or a man, needs to be formally educated in order to be intelligent and thoughtful. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. There are many intelligent and thoughtful people that have no post-secondary education. I a person really has the desire to be intelligent and thoughtful the key is to read and study God's Word. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." (James 1:5)

[Amelia]

It's nice to see someone finally defend women. I was begining to think all the men here felt the same way.

None of us can pick our looks; women and men both. Everyone deserves to be loved. But unfortunatly our culture thrives on the beautiful being the best. And if you can't be beautiful, then you can be wealthy. Having money can pretty much guarantee you getting a beauty no matter now bad you look.

[Robert]

That said, I believe it is clearly a mistake to assume a woman, or a man, needs to be formally educated in order to be intelligent and thoughtful. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. There are many intelligent and thoughtful people that have no post-secondary education. I a person really has the desire to be intelligent and thoughtful the key is to read and study God's Word. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." (James 1:5)

Good point....