Ask the Rabbi

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Tevet 15

All About Islam

I enjoyed Rabbi Blech’s excellent online series about the differences between Judaism and Christianity. But now that Islam is gaining more attention in the world, could you explain the differences between Judaism and Islam?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Islam, like Christianity, accepts the Jewish Bible and is based largely upon Jewish ideas and traditions. The philosophical underpinnings of Islam, however, are more closely aligned with those of Judaism. Whereas Christianity incorporates the idea of the "trinity," Islam believes in one all-powerful, infinite God.

Mohammed, the founder of Islam, based many of his beliefs on the practices of local Jewish population in his native Mecca. For example, the Muslim practices of circumcision, not eating pig, daily prayer and fasting during the first month of the year were all culled directly from Judaism.

Since Islam was so similar to Judaism, Mohammed assumed that the Jews would immediately accept his new religion. When the Jews did not live up to his expectations, he turned violently against them and many Jews died by the sword. (We are still suffering from this today; may there be peace soon.)

The real difference between the two religions, however, lies in the basis for belief. Judaism is based on the unique historical event of a divine revelation experienced by the entire nation. Whereas Islam is based on the prophetic claims of a single individual who subsequently convinced others to follow his ways. For more on this crucial point, see: “Did God Speak at Sinai?”

Talmudic tradition says that while Abraham's son Isaac became the forefather of the Jewish people, the Islamic line is descended from Abraham's other son Ishmael.

Maimonides states that the popularity of Christianity and Islam are part of God's plan to spread the ideals of Torah throughout the world. This moves society closer to a perfected state of morality and toward a greater understanding of God. All of this is in preparation for the Messianic age.

 

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Tevet 16 

Number 176

I was looking through my Jewish library and noticed something really incredible: The longest chapter in Psalms (chapter 119) has 176 verses. The longest parsha in the Torah, Naso, has 176 verses. And the longest tractate in the Talmud, Baba Batra, has 176 pages. What is the connection between all these?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You are very observant! Here are a few answers to this interesting phenomenon:

Chapter 119 of Psalms has 176 verses because it follows a pattern whereby the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet are used to begin 8 verses each. That is, 22-times-8 equals 176.

Which of course raises the question: What is the significance of 22 and of 8?

22 is a number of completeness, because it is the full representation of the 22 letters of the Alef-Bet - i.e. everything from A to Z (from Alef to Tav).

As for the number 8: We know that 7 represents the "natural realm" - i.e. 7 days of the week, 7 notes in the musical scale, etc. But 8 represents completeness beyond nature - a completeness in the spiritual realm. That is why Brit Milah is held on the 8th day of a boy's life. This also explains why God first commanded Abraham to perform circumcision with the words, "Walk before Me and be complete" (Genesis 17:1).

The product of two "complete" numbers, "22-times-8," is therefore the ultimate completeness. That's why 176 is used to demonstrate the supernal perfection of our holy Torah.

 

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Tevet 17 

Music & Spirituality

I love heavy metal music and as I have become more drawn to Torah and religion, I am wondering: Is it okay to listen to Black Sabbath?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Music is a transcendent power. Music is a deep expression of the soul, used to articulate things that can't be expressed in words.

Because of its transcendent power, music can be used as a way of getting closer to God. For example, when offerings were brought at the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, a choir of Levites would accompany the service by singing the Psalms of King David.

Music is so powerful, that it was even known to inspire prophecy. In the Bible (2-Kings 3:1-15), the prophet Elisha became angry and called for a musician. After which it says "and the hand of God came upon him." Rashi points out that the music calmed him down and enabled him to attain prophecy. The specific use of music to attain prophecy is mentioned in many places in the Bible -- e.g. 1-Samuel 10:5, 2-Kings 9:11, 1-Chronicles 25:1, among others.

The Kabbalists explain that the Hebrew word for music "ZeMeR" is also related the word "to cut." Music helps banish extraneous thoughts and clear the mind. It cuts away the husks of impurity that envelop the soul and it allows a person to connect with the true Source of Good.

When you listen to music, some of what the artist was feeling when he sang the song goes into you.

The people who sing secular songs are often not of the most stable character nor particularly spiritual.

Do you really want these people's influence to enter your psyche?

To learn more about the deep spiritual power of music, read Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan's "Meditation and the Bible," and Rabbi S.R. Hirsch's commentary to Psalms 92 and 150.

I also recommend Rabbi Tzvi Gluckin's book, "Knee Deep in the Funk: Understanding the connection between spirituality and music."

 

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Tevet 18 

Walkway to the Mount

From your Western Wall camera (http://www.aish.com/w/) I notice what appears to be a large covered walkway leading up the Temple Mount. Can you explain what that is?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

To the right of the prayer area is a path going uphill, leading to a doorway that opens onto the Temple Mount itself. This is called the Mughrabim Gate, a main entrance for tourists to visit the Temple Mount.

The original pathway was damaged in an earthquake in 2004, and a temporary wooden walkway has been installed just to the left of the hill.

Archeological excavations are currently being conducted to remove the mound of dirt. This has uncovered an 8-meter-high gate leading into the Temple Mount which dates from the period of the Second Temple. It is known as Barclay's Gate, after the 19th-century American consul who first identified it.

The entire area that is currently the Western Wall plaza was filled with low buildings when Israel liberated the area during the Six Day War of June 1967, and was later cleared away – except for the mound which is now being excavated.

The plan is to install a permanent steel bridge to access the Temple Mount.

By the way, since it is not known exactly where on the Holy Temple stood, Jews are prohibited by Torah law to set foot onto the Temple Mount, until such time that the Temple is rebuilt.

 

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Tevet 19 

Need for Organized Religion?

I am a very spiritual person, yet not religious. Every day I wake up in the morning and say my prayers. On my travels, I thank God when I arrive safely. I look up at the sky every morning and feel inside this spirituality when I speak to God. I feel warm knowing that He is with me and a part of me, during my difficult times as well as the good times. Therefore, feeling what we do is so important. For without it, prayer and our religion is meaningless.

Why is organized religion so important? Why can't I, who does not go to synagogue and pray, not be as good a person and Jew as someone who goes every day? What I feel in my heart and head is just as important and what is read aloud, chanted and discussed in a synagogue.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

This really gets down to the whole issue of "letter of the law" versus "spirit of the law." "Letter of the law" involves performing an act because it is prescribed by the Torah and the Code of Jewish Law. "Spirit of the law" is performing an act because one's inner emotional sense propels one to experience the spiritual feeling the act intends to arouse.

An example of this is giving charity. The Torah commands us to give 10 percent of our income to charity. This letter of the law is intended to develop within us feelings of compassion for our fellow man (the spirit of the law).

Of course, the best is to have both. But given the choice of one or the other, which is actually more crucial?

Let's examine the following case from Dennis Prager: Two people (of equal wealth) are each approached by a poor woman who needs money for her daughter's cancer surgery. One of these, upon hearing the woman's plight, feels a deep sense of compassion, and amidst tears, gives the woman a dollar. The other wasn't nearly as moved, in fact he was in a hurry and couldn't talk to the woman. But because he follows Jewish law, requiring that 10 percent of his income go to charity, he gave the woman $100 dollars. So who is the "better person"?

Judaism would love you to give 10 percent of your income from your heart. It suspects, however, that in a large majority of cases, were we to wait for people's hearts to prompt them to give away thousands of dollars annually, we would be waiting a very long time. Judaism says: Give 10 percent - and if your heart catches up, terrific. In the meantime, a lot of good had been done.

The lesson of all this? "Doing" is more important than "feeling." And this is one of the great lessons that Jews could teach today's world which celebrates feelings. "How do you feel about it?" is not the Jewish question. "What do you do about?" is the Jewish question.

Another great lesson is the Jewish belief that the deed shapes the heart, far more than the heart shapes the deed. The idea is that human emotions (our insides) are affected by our physical actions (our outsides). You will find this concept throughout Judaism, which is in fact why we have 613 mitzvot. They guide us and direct us in ways which refine our character through repetition and practice.

Jews living within a Torah framework provide a world of practical benefits, both to the individual, and to the community. Because once a Jew is in the framework of giving charity, for example, we can appeal to his sense of character, and try to sensitize him to the importance of giving with the proper intention.

Plus, this aids tremendously in inculcating one's children with these values. If the idea of giving charity is a command from the Creator, that carries a lot more weight than "your parents thinks it's a good idea." It is difficult to transmit a "feeling," whereas mitzvot provide a solid framework for transmission.

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Tevet 20 

Reaching Other Jews

I work in a secular environment, and it hurts me to see my single Jewish co-workers go out with non-Jews. I would like to find simple, practical, non-offensive ways to dissuade them. At this point, all I could do is be their friend. The last thing I want to do is to hurt anyone's feelings. I can't break through but am not ready to give up. Do you have any suggestions for how I can help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

While we would all like to believe that the problem of rampant assimilation is being fought effectively by outreach professionals and that the tide is beginning to recede, this is unfortunately not the case. Although thousands of Jews have returned to their heritage, large numbers are still being lost every year.

Clearly, if we rely solely on full-time outreach professionals, we will not have sufficient manpower and resources to combat the problem.

We must do all we can to teach our fellow Jews about the beauty of Judaism. The obligation to reach out to our alienated brethren are numerous and compelling. The mitzvahs of "Love your neighbor," "Don't stand on your brother's blood," "give proper rebuke," and Kiddush Hashem all underscore the reality of "areivus" – the unity and co-responsibility of all Jews – and direct us to spare no effort in safeguarding the spiritual well-being of our fellow Jews.

The Chofetz Chaim, in his famous work "Chomas Hadaas," emphasized the tremendous obligation upon us to reach out to unaffiliated Jews and the severity of neglecting this charge. This responsibility was forcefully articulated by Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (Jewish Observer, June 1973) who exhorted all observant Jews to "maaser" their time for outreach efforts.

So when trying to reach our fellow Jews, what is the most important message to convey?

One of Judaism's most famous converts was Onkeles, the son of a Roman Emperor, who left his home to study Judaism in Israel. The Talmud relates that the Emperor dispatched a battalion of solders to bring Onkeles back home and prevent him from converting. But when the soldiers reached Onkeles, they all ended up converting, too! The Roman Emperor sent a second battalion and, again, all of them converted. Finally, in frustration, the Emperor sent a third group of soldiers to seize Onkeles – and commanded them to avoid any conversation with him at all.

As they were taking hold of Onkeles, the soldiers saw him reach up and kiss a mezuzah. "What's that?" they asked. Onkeles explained. And, like the units before them, all these soldiers converted too. The Emperor gave up after that, and Onkeles went on to become a great scholar in Israel. (Talmud – Avoda Zara 11a)

What was the secret of Onkeles's extraordinary success? What did he say so compelling that in such a short time he was able to convince the soldiers to change their lives?

The Ibn Ezra says: "Words that come from the heart, enter the heart." This was Onkeles' secret. Onkeles was so clear, so real, so absolutely convinced of the truth and beauty of Judaism, that the soldiers could not fail to absorb his conviction. Onkeles' responses were alive with inspiration and meaning. This radiance struck the soldiers each time and moved them to embrace Judaism.

Herein lies the key to success in reaching other Jews. In order to begin helping others understand why Judaism is meaningful and important, we must feel that way about it ourselves. Like Onkeles, we must be unshakably convinced and enthusiastic about Judaism, because our own real-life example will be more persuasive than any logical argument. Moreover, when we see someone vacillate during his search, or experience conflicts or pressures, our own confidence in Judaism will enable us to continuously reassure them that the struggle is worthwhile.

To be effective in outreach, there are a few key resources that you should be aware of. One important book is called "Eye of the Needle," by Rabbi Yitzhak Coopersmith, here he explains how to reach out to unaffiliated Jews, and offers material for building meaningful conversation.

Another important book is called "Reaching Out," by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan.

And finally, an organization named Project Inspire provides user-friendly tools for Jews to reach out and inspire other Jews. See more at: www.kiruv.com

 

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Tevet 21

Most Important Prayer

I have heard many different opinions and would like to know which prayer is the most fundamental to Jews, the Amidah or the Shema?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It is impossible to compare, because the Shema is not really a "prayer" at all, while the Amidah is the optimum prayer.

The Shema is not a "prayer" in the ordinary sense of the word, even though it is an integral part of the prayer service. The Shema is a declaration of faith, a pledge of allegiance to One God, an affirmation of Judaism. It is the first "prayer" that Jewish children are taught to say. It is said on arising in the morning and on going to sleep at night. It is said when one is praising God and when one is beseeching Him. It is the last words a Jew says prior to death. It is the expression of Jewish conviction, the historic proclamation of Judaism's central creed.

On the other hand, the Shemona Esrei (a.k.a. the Amidah) is the heart of every prayer service. It contains the basic components of prayer: praising God, petitioning Him, and thanking Him. Whenever the Talmud refers to "Tefilah" (the Hebrew word for "prayer") it means the Shemona Esrei, and not any other blessing or supplication. The obligation to pray three times a day is fulfilled only by reciting the Shemona Esrei three times a day.

So you see, the Shema and the Amidah fulfill completely different purposes.

To learn more, read "To Pray As A Jew" by Rabbi Hayim Halevy Donin, from which this answer was derived.

 

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Tevet 22

Surrogate Motherhood

The issue of surrogate motherhood came up in discussion last night. Does Judaism have a position on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

There is a fascinating Talmudic passage (Brachot 60a) which relates to this. While in her seventh pregnancy, Leah said: "Jacob is destined to beget 12 tribes. I have already borne six, and each of the handmaids have borne two, making a total of 10. If the child I'm carrying turns out to be male, then my sister Rachel will not even be equivalent to one of the handmaids." Leah therefore prayed, and the fetus was changed to a female.

In Genesis 30:21, the commentator Yonatan Ben Uziel (circa first century) explains that Rachel was also pregnant at that time, and the two fetuses were switched – with Rachel getting the male (born as Joseph) and Leah getting the female (born as Dinah).

[interestingly, some say this "switching" helps explain why Joseph is described in Genesis 39:6 as being so beautiful (i.e. more feminine characteristics), while Dinah "went out on the town" (Genesis 34:1) more in the manner of boys.]

We apparently see from here that the birth-mother is regarded as the mother. Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau (former Chief Rabbi of Israel, in "Yachel Yisrael" 29) concludes that the mother who gives birth is the halachic mother. The egg donor is also regarded as the mother in issues where we should be stringent -- e.g. if she is not Jewish, the child would need conversion.

Interestingly, the process of motherhood is defined at birth, whereas fatherhood is defined at conception.

Because of the complex issues involved, however, surrogate motherhood is not allowed in all situations.

For further study:

• "Artificial Insemination," in The Comprehensive Guide to Medical Halachah, by Abraham S. Abraham, MD, FRCP (Feldheim)

• "Artificial Insemination," in Facing Current Challenges: Essays on Judaism, by Rabbi Dr. Yehudah Levi (Hemed Books)

• “The Use of Cryopreserved Sperm and Pre-embryos in Contemporary Jewish Law and Ethics” – www.jlaw.com/Articles/semen.html

 

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Tevet 23 

Space Prayer

I have a question pertaining to Judaism and space travel. If humans ever colonize the moon or other planets, then which direction would we face while praying?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Our Sages taught: "A blind man, or someone who cannot tell which direction he is facing, should direct his heart toward God in Heaven. If one is standing outside of the Land of Israel, he should turn toward Israel. If he is standing in Israel, he should turn toward Jerusalem. If he is standing in Jerusalem, he should turn towards the Temple..." (Talmud Brachot 30a)

Although the Talmud does not directly address your issue, it is logical that the space traveler should face toward Earth. If, however, he were in a black hole, then he would be exempt from praying because of the grave danger. The same would be true if space aliens were attacking him.

By the way, keeping time in outer space - for the purpose of Shabbat, etc. – is quite difficult, given that an orbiting spacecraft may see sunrise many times each day. So for astronauts, time should be kept according to the "home base" on planet Earth.

 

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Tevet 24 

Jerusalem Study Programs

I am the educational director of our local JCC and I often get requests for information about Jewish study programs in Jerusalem. Do you have a comprehensive list that you can send me?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I don’t know if this is a comprehensive list, but it’s a good start:

For beginners, perhaps the best educational program in Jerusalem is "Essentials" run by Aish HaTorah. It is directed for men in their 20s. Nevertheless, anyone is welcome to drop in and take a class. http://israel.aish.com/essentials/ There is also comparable women's program called "Jewel" – www.jewel4women.com/.

And of course the world-famous Discovery seminar is offered regularly in Jerusalem – www.aish.com/dis/

For men over 35, check out Bircas HaTorah – www.bircas.org/, or Machon Daniel – www.machondaniel.org/.

For women over 35, check out Eyaht – http://aish.com/progsisrael/, or She'arim – www.shearim.com.

Aish’s Executive Learning Center (ELC) offers a personalized curriculum to explore political, spiritual and personal issues, where one can also get a quantum leap in their Hebrew/Jewish textual skills. Hundreds of visitors to Jerusalem enhance their Israel experience with a tailor-made learning schedule – for an hour, a day, a week. Get more info online at: www.aish.com/elc/

For a place to stay, try the Heritage House Jewish Youth Hostel, located in the Old City of Jerusalem, close to the Western Wall. It's ideal for young Jewish men and women while touring Israel – and it's free! Go to www.heritage.org.il/

 

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Tevet 25 

Rabbinic Fences

I can appreciate the rules and mitzvot as they appear in the Torah. But when the rabbis start adding their own layers of restrictions, I feel encroached upon. What is the point of all this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If there's a hole in the middle of the street, the municipality comes and erects a fence so no one will get hurt by falling in. The purpose of a fence is to guard and protect, to keep us safe from danger.

The Sages are empowered to make "protective fences." This is part and parcel of the Torah, and is not considered extra. (Though of course, the Sages will specify that their fence is rabbinic in nature, to avoid confusion with the Torah law.)

As one example, the Torah says: "Do not boil a kid in it's mother's milk." On a Torah level, this only refers to meat from the three domesticated animals - cow, goat and sheep. However, since people "intuitively" associate chicken as "meat," we also do not mix chicken and milk. This "rabbinic fence" was accepted by the entire Jewish people as binding law.

If we appreciate the severity of transgressing the Torah (a sensitivity which has, unfortunately, been lost to many people today), then we will understand how absolutely vital these rabbinic fences are.

I hope this helps explain.

 

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Tevet 26

Morning Washing

I read in the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (2:1) that when sleeping, an unclean spirit dwells upon the body, and that's why we wash our hands in the morning. What does washing have to do with getting it off our fingers when we awake? I know that I have a spirit, but here it says that I have a second spirit, that is present when I sleep. If this is so, then does everyone have a second spirit and where do these spirits stay while we are awake? How do these spirits know how to come back to us directly, especially to those people who do traveling and often sleep in different locations while on their trips?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The law that you cite is perhaps a little easier to understand in the original Hebrew. The Hebrew word for this spirit that remains on one's hands in the morning time is called "Ruach Rah." Ruach Rah is an impurity that comes about from sleeping. It has nothing to do with your own soul, which in Hebrew is called a Neshama. The Neshama stays with you always.

Ruach Rah is a stubborn impurity that can only be removed by a special hand-washing procedure. Here's how it is done:

Hold a washing cup in right hand and fill it with water.

Pass the cup to the left hand and pour water over the right hand (up until the wrist).

Pass the cup to the right hand and pour water over the left hand (up until the wrist).

Then pass again to the left hand and pour, and then to the right and pour, then to the left and pour and then to the right and pour, until you have poured water over each hand three times.

If one pours water on his right hand three times, and then on his left three times without washing them intermittently, this does not successfully remove the "Ruach Rah." (Code of Jewish law - O.C. 4:2)

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Tevet 27 

Mismatched Torah Portions

I flew to Israel last week and on Shabbat they read a different Torah portion than the one they were reading at my synagogue back home. What gives?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

This is a good question, and it stems from the fact that Jews in Israel keep one day of Yom Tov, while Yom Tov lasts two days in the Diaspora.

As you know, one Torah portion is read every week in the synagogue on Shabbat. However, when a Yom Tov falls out on Shabbat, the weekly Torah portion is delayed and the special holiday portion is read instead.

Now imagine a case where Yom Tov falls out on Friday. In Israel, the following day - Shabbat - will have the regular Torah reading for that Shabbat. But in the Diaspora, when Shabbat is the second day of Yom Tov, the Shabbat reading is replaced by the reading for Yom Tov.

In that way, those living in the Diaspora actually fall one Torah portion behind Israel.

Don't worry, though. Everyone catches up within a few weeks. This is achieved by having only those outside of Israel double-up and read two Torah portions together on the same Shabbat. After that, things are re-aligned.

 

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Tevet 29

Prayer in Any Language

Is there a wrong way to pray if I don't know the Hebrew text? Do I just pray with whatever is in my heart? I consider myself a spiritual person. However, I tried praying a lot from a prayer book and it felt like something artificial. I try talking directly to the supreme being, God. That works better, but I still feel that I am missing something. I feel that one's relationship with God should be personal. Could you add some words of wisdom and help me understand prayer and spirituality better?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

There is a famous story about a young shepherd boy. (Jewish stories are often about shepherds, probably because all the Jewish patriarchs, matriarchs and early kings were shepherds.)

One day, this boy was passing by a synagogue and heard people inside praying. He came inside to join them. The only problem was they were all praying from prayer books. The shepherd boy was essentially illiterate, though he did know how to say the letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Not knowing what else to do, he stood in the back of the synagogue and yelled out "Aleph! Bet! Gimmel!" until he finished the entire alphabet.

Two of the worshippers were so offended that they went over to the shepherd boy and were about to escort him outside, when the rabbi told them: "Stop! That boy's shouting was more precious than any other prayers said here today! His prayer went straight up to Heaven!"

The point of the story is that prayer counts when it comes from the heart. Any relationship is built on communication, and communication has to come from the heart. As King David said (Psalms 145:18), "God is close to all who call upon Him, to all who call sincerely." God yearns to give us the pleasure of connection. Indeed, the Talmud says that God made Sarah, Rivka and Rachel barren, so that they would turn to Him in prayer.

That is the "spirit" behind prayer. But what about Jewish law?

All of the prayers and blessings can be said in any language that a person understands, with one stipulation: If they are said in any language other than Hebrew, they must be understood. (OC 62, Biur Halacha). Implied is that if you pray in Hebrew, you don't need to understand what is being said. That is because Hebrew has a special strength, since each Hebrew word and letter contains deep mystical meaning, which is otherwise lost in translation.

The Great Assembly (4th century BCE, Land of Israel), were prophets who captured specific mystical secrets when choosing the language for the formalized prayers we have today. If we could truly understand the words of the "Amidah" ("Shmonei Esrei"), we would see that everything is encapsulated in those words. This particular combination allows the supplicant to receive the goodness and direction that God is waiting to give him. (Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzatto - Way of God 4:5:1)

Nevertheless, there is still personal prayer, which can be said at any time, in any place (except for a bathrooms or other unclean area), and in any language. Even if you were plunged in the depths of depression, lying in bed, not wanting to see a person in the world, even if you only mumbled three words, "God send help," God listens to you.

If you want something to help get you started, here's an opening line that's sure to work:

Dear God, Give me the courage to let go and let you in. I know you love me. And with your help, I will find all the purpose, joy, and happiness You want me to have.

My suggestion to you is to make an effort to not only say the words of the prayers written in the Siddur, but to study the meaning behind them as well. There are some excellent books available here: http://www.artscroll.com/Categories/pco.html

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Tevet 28

Gambling

Is gambling in a casino permitted?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Judaism generally looks disparagingly on gambling. The Talmud says that someone who earns their salary from gambling is invalid to serve as a witness in a Jewish court. Since the person who lost the bet doesn't really pay with a full heart, the winner's earning are considered a form of theft.

According to another opinion in the Talmud, only a professional gambler -- who has no other source of income -- is invalid as a witness. This is because he is not involved in productive activity and contributes nothing to the betterment of society.

Some rabbinical sources allow buying lottery tickets, if the money is for mitzvah purposes, and it is as such not a matter of "losing money" (as with gambling) when the winner is declared. Thus the meager amount given in the beginning to buy the ticket, is given with a full heart for the mitzvah.

(sources: Talmud - Rosh Hashana 22a; Code of Jewish Law - C.M. 92:3, 370:1)

 

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Shevat 1

The Term "Jew"

Our nation was historically called Israelites or Hebrews. I am wondering why always you refer to the Israelite or the Hebrew Nation as "Jew" when only after the captivity of 722 BCE that the people of the Tribe of Judah were called "Jews." Nowadays, “Jew” is the common term for any believer or follower of the "Jewish" belief. Am I wrong?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

From the time of the prophet Joshua, when the Jewish people came into the Land of Israel, each of the 12 Tribes settled a different area of land. The area that each tribe settled became known by the tribe's name – for example, the region around Jerusalem is known as Judah. At this time, when the term "Judah-ite" was used, it only referred to those who came from that tribe.

In the late 700s BCE, approximately two-thirds of the Jewish nation was taken into captivity. The only parts of the Land of Israel that remained were the portions of Judah and Benjamin. (Since then, the Ten Tribes' whereabouts has been unknown.) When the Romans became the ruling power of the Middle East 2000 years ago, they referred to this entire region as "Judea," since that Judah was significantly larger than Benjamin. Therefore, all the people came to be called "Judean," from which derives the English word "Jew."

There is a deep lesson to be derived from this historical reality. In Hebrew, the word Judah includes all the letters to spell out God's four-letter name, plus a Daled ("D"). The Daled stands for King David, who was the first king over the united Jewish people, and the forefather of the Messiah.

Yehuda means "to admit" or "acknowledge." In the Bible, when Tamar was about to be executed for adultery, Yehuda risked his personal reputation and stood up for the truth, admitting that he was the one responsible for her predicament. For thousands of years, that has been the hallmark of the Jewish people: standing up for what is right, even at personal expense.

 

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Shevat 2 

Sibling Rivalry

I recently attended a family reunion. My parents were there, as well as my brothers with their wives and kids. My brothers are very bitter toward my parents, and have also distanced themselves from me. I think my brothers are jealous of me because I am the only daughter, and I got more attention growing up.

I really want to be close with my family. I have no hard feelings and want to get along. What can I do to have a better relationship with my brothers? The current situation is very painful for me.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It is truly frustrating to experience negativity toward us when in reality we did nothing wrong.

But first of all, you need to realize that other people's free will is not in your hands. While you can encourage them in a good direction, ultimately they make their own decisions in life.

How can you build a relationship with your brothers in the future? Here are some suggestions:

1) Send greeting cards to commemorate various holiday or special events, such as Rosh Hashana, a Bar mitzvah, wedding, birth of a child, etc. Snail mail is much better than electronic. Even if you don't hear back from them, just keep sending the cards. Also, call on special occasions to wish them well.

2) Don't hesitate to build an independent relationship with your nieces and nephews. Eventually, these kids will grow up, go off to college, and make their own lives. There is no reason that the tension between you and your brothers should carry over into these relationships as well.

3) Think about your brothers and generate love in your heart. It has a long-distance effect.

4) Make sure this sibling rivalry does not repeat itself with your own children. One of the most beautiful customs in Jewish life is for parents to bless their children at the start of the Friday night Shabbat meal. Girls receive the blessing: "May God make you like the matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah." Boys are blessed – not to be like the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – but rather “like Ephraim and Menashe." Why?

One explanation is that Ephraim and Menashe were the first set of Jewish brothers who did not fight. Abraham's two sons – Isaac and Ishmael – could not get along, and their disagreements form the basis of the Arab-Israeli conflict till today. Isaac's two sons – Jacob and Esav – were so contentious that Esav repeatedly sought to kill Jacob and instructed his descendants to do the same. Even Jacob's own sons stumbled when they sold their brother Joseph to slavery in Egypt.

This explains why, when Jacob blessed the Ephraim and Menashe, he purposely switched his hands, blessing the younger Ephraim before the older Menashe. Jacob wished to emphasize there was no rivalry between these brothers. (see Genesis 48:13-14)

It is with this thought that parents bless their children today. For there is no greater blessing than peace among siblings. And it is this same hope that God holds for all the Jewish people. May the days of peace come soon.

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Shevat 3

Siamese Twins

A case of Siamese twins has hit the media and I wondered what the Jewish position would be.

The twin girls are joined at the lower abdomen. One has no heart or lungs and is being kept alive by her sister. The medical opinion is that the one with the heart and lungs has a good chance of survival if separated from her sister. If not, they have only a few months to live.

The girls parents are devout Roman Catholics and believe that the girls' fates should be decided by "God's will." They are appealing against a recent High Court decision to allow the surgery. Meanwhile, time appears to be ticking away for the twin girls.

What is your opinion?

 

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Such complexities are not new to Jewish law.

A case of Siamese twins is mentioned in the Talmud (Menachot 37a), and in recent times, the illustrious Rabbi Moshe Feinstein used Talmudic sources to present a clear and unambiguous ruling in such a case when new-born Siamese twins were brought to Children's Hospital in Philadelphia. (Dr. C. Everett Koop, who subsequently became Surgeon General of the United States, was then the hospital's Chief of Surgery.)

Doctors had determined that if the twins – who were sharing critical internal organs – would remain joined together, both would die. The only option was to perform an operation which would kill one and save the other. But, argued the moralists, isn't this murder?

When the team of two dozen medical professionals were awaiting a decision, and indeed, were expressing impatience, Dr. Koop quieted the group with the following statement:

"The ethics and morals involved in this decision are too complex for me. I believe they are too complex for you as well. Therefore I referred it to an old rabbi on the Lower East Side of New York. He is a great scholar, a saintly individual. He knows how to answer such questions. When he tells me, I too will know."

Here’s how Rabbi Feinstein arrived at his decision. He asked the doctors: "How do you intend to perform the surgery?"

They told him: "We will save Baby-A, and kill Baby-B."

Rabbi Feinstein then asked, "Could you reverse the procedure and achieve the same results? Meaning, could you use all the available organs to save Baby-B and instead kill Baby-A?"

The doctors answered: "No. Baby-A is the only one we can save."

At which point, Rabbi Feinstein told them to go ahead and perform the surgery. His decision was based on the Jewish law which states that if one person is directly threatening to kill another, then it is morally correct to stop the pursuer, even if it means killing him. The law of the pursuer applies even in the case where the threat to life is unintentional, for example where a fetus is unwittingly threatening the life of its mother. (see Maimonides – Foundations of Torah 5:5)

Applied to the Siamese twins case, Rabbi Feinstein ruled that since Baby-B had no independent ability to survive, the very existence of Baby-B was threatening the life of Baby-A. This gave Baby-B the status of a killer (albeit unintentional), and Baby-A could, so to speak, stop his killer.

In a recent case brought before the British High Court, they used a much different line of reasoning. Judge Robert Johnson said that for Mary – without heart and lungs – her harsh life would only worsen as low levels of oxygen in her blood further destroyed her brain. So killing Mary – by stopping delivery of Jodie's blood – would be an act of euthanasia, like withdrawing food and water from a terminally ill patient. If they stayed together, the few months of Mary's life would be hurtful and mean nothing to her, he said.

The contrast is quite ironic. The ruling of the Talmud is predicated on the preservation of life. Whereas the British court ruling is based on a decision to end a life, that of the non-viable sister. Without that factor, they'd be prepared to let Jodie, the viable sister, die.

These cases always involve numerous medical and legal factors, and we cannot derive any practical decision based on this discussion. But this does illustrate how in a world full of ethical issues, the truth of Torah is precious today more than ever. Society is increasingly searching for direction, giving new meaning to the Jewish role as a "Light Unto the Nations" (Isaiah 42:6).

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Shevat 4 

Shaking Hands

Last week I had a business meeting with an Orthodox Jewish woman and she politely declined to shake my hand. What is the reason for this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Maimonides cites Deuteronomy 22:13 as a scriptural prohibition against any pleasurable contact between a man and woman (other than those who are married or close relatives). This includes hugging and kissing.

Shaking hands is a bit of gray area since different situations come up and it is not always considered "pleasurable, physical contact." But suffice to say there can be sexual pleasure involved; it’s just that we are often numbed to it due to the onslaught of sexual images in today's media. We have unfortunately lost the nuance of a touch or a peck on the cheek. But the energy is there; I recall reading of a woman who, after shaking hands with a U.S. President, called it "the most satisfying full-body experience I have ever had."

As a result, the custom among most Orthodox Jews is not to shake hands with the opposite gender.

In a case where one person extends his or her hand, some rabbis are lenient to allow for shaking hands, in order to prevent embarrassing the other.

In general, it is best to avoid this situation in the first place. An Orthodox person who is greeted by an extended hand could just smile broadly and pretend not to notice. At a gathering where this situation is common, one could anticipate and arrange to have both hands full.

 

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Shevat 5

Handicap: Why?

A woman in our neighborhood has spina bifada. It's so heart-breaking to see. And it has me wondering: Why do some people suffer and others seem to have it so easy? It is not evenly divided between "good" people and "bad" people, as I can plainly see. So what determines this in God's eyes?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You are asking a very important question.

The Talmud (Yoma 35) tells the famous story of the sage Hillel. At the time, the head of the yeshiva wanted to make sure that the people who came to study Torah did so for the right reasons, and not for self-aggrandizement. So in order to test people's motivation, he charged money to enter the yeshiva.

Hillel was as poor and impoverished as they come. In the winter, he wanted so much to study that he climbed up to the roof by the skylight, and then became so enraptured with his studies that he didn't realize he'd become frozen in. The next morning it was dark in the study hall. So they looked up and saw a person's body. They brought him down and thawed him out.

The Talmud states: "Hillel obligates the poor." That means that Hillel takes away the excuse that we didn't accomplish what we were supposed to in life due to lack of money. Hillel serves as a beacon that even in poverty, one can still become the greatest of the great (which Hillel was).

Now let's ask a question: Was Hillel's poverty a punishment, or was it his opportunity to excel in life? The Talmud explains this as his reason for being here.

There are some souls that come to the earth for what Judaism calls a "Tikun". A Tikun means that the soul has to undergo certain experiences in order to help it maintain a state of perfection. This could be because of different experiences that the soul underwent in previous lifetimes. The soul achieves its tikun by being purified through the experience and/or by helping other people grow through exposure to the experience.

In order to appreciate this concept it is crucial to understand that the world that we live in is only a small speck of a person's life. Judaism looks at life in this world as preparation for the life in the World of Souls. Many of the unexplainable features of life in this world can be better understood if we realize this concept. The pain that one must undergo at times in this world to achieve greater perfection of the soul is worth the eternal pleasure that the soul experiences after the death of the body.

The bottom line: We don't know why a particular situation might be happening. We each have our own package. Each of us is put here for a particular purpose. Sometimes "suffering" may actually be the reason we were put here. Maybe this is, so to speak, our unique contribution.

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Shevat 6

Sexual Morality

On an intuitive level, I believe that intimacy should be reserved for a husband and wife. But on a philosophical level, I have no good reason to explain why to friends (or my children!) who insist on a more liberal view of these issues. Can you help me articulate what I am feeling?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Judaism understands that the family unit is the key to the psychological health of children, and the stability of society as a whole. To ensure the preservation of that family unit, Jewish law places boundaries on human sexuality. Historically, those societies that did not adhere to such sexual boundaries eventually broke down and failed.

Philosophers explain that when human nature is undisciplined by values, physical drives will dominate his life and the life of society. When Judaism demanded that all sexual activity be channeled into marriage, it changed the world. It is not overstated to say that the Torah's prohibition of non-marital relations made the creation of Western civilization possible.

In contrast to other societies, where sexuality is a function of pleasure (secular) or procreation (Christianity), Judaism considers sexuality a mechanism to bond with one's spouse. This powerful tool aids a couple in their life goal of self-perfection. A human being can only achieve perfection through a marriage with the opposite gender, because only by the joining of opposites – male and female – can this bonding occur.

A proper marital context directs one to grow and adapt to each other's differences and become one. Through that bonding, perfection can be achieved, and by extension – through bringing children into the world – the perfection of society is likewise attainable. It is the Jewish sexual revolution, and it has proved a pillar of civilization throughout history.

 

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Shevat 7 

Rewarding Children

We have two boys, ages 4 and 5. They don't like to be treated differently, yet sometimes it is necessary. For example, rewarding one for using the bathroom properly would be a joke for the other. But then they feel it is unfair when they are rewarded differently. How should we deal with this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You should persist in rewarding them differently for different things. Why? Because proper education must reflect the reality of life. We each have different challenges, and are rewarded based on our own level.

How do you get the children to accept this? The key is to remind them of the "inequity" – not when the other sibling is getting rewarded – rather when they are the one getting rewarded! In other words, as you hand the boy his prize, tell him, "Notice how only you are getting rewarded for this. See, it's not always equal. But this is something you're working hard at. Maybe next time your brother will get a reward for something he's working hard at."

Here’s another useful suggestion. If the reward is a cookie, for example, you could give the child two cookies and say, "One is for you, and the other is for you to give your brother." That way, the one who gets rewarded learns the value of sharing. And the one who didn't get rewarded learns to take pleasure in the success of others.

 

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Shevat 8 

Rape

I was reading in an online forum that Judaism advocates that a rapist marry his victim. This sounds so backward and oppressive, and difficult to reconcile with the compassionate Judaism that I know and love. Is what I read accurate?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Highly inaccurate. (Are you surprised?)

Judaism takes a strong position against rape, with the Talmud comparing it to murder. As such, Judaism permits one to kill a rapist who is in pursuit of a woman, in order to save her from attack.

Rape of a married woman is a capital crime. (Deuteronomy 22:25)

Rape of a single woman carries a heavy monetary fine, plus the rapist has to pay reparation for embarrassment, damages and emotional anguish. The rapist also incurs lashes. This is all intended as both a deterrent and a punishment. (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)

As regards to what you read, Judaism gives the woman the option of demanding that the rapist marry her. (We can only speculate why she would so desire, but nevertheless it is her exclusive option.)

Feel free to post this response on that online forum.

 

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Shevat 9

Waiting Between Meat & Milk

How long after must I wait between eating meat and milk? And why?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

After eating meat (or fowl), you must wait 6 hours before eating any dairy products. (This is measured from the last bite of meat, even if the meal continued longer.)

The issue of waiting between meat and dairy comes from the Talmud (Chulin 105a), and the reason is discussed by the two great Torah commentators:

Maimonides says that we are concerned about strands of meat being stuck between the teeth. After 6 hours, however, that meat has undergone a sufficient enough process of "digestion" whereby it becomes "pareve." (Laws of Forbidden Foods 9:28)

Rashi, on the other hand, says the 6-hour wait is based on the fatty nature of meat. Not only does meat leave a residue in one's mouth and throat, but when meat is in your stomach, the fatty gasses can escape (through burping, for instance) and cause a "meaty flavor" in one's mouth. If a person would eat dairy during this time, they would have the combined flavor of milk and meat in their mouth, which is prohibited. (see Rashi – Chulin 105a)

In cases of a health concern, or for children under the age of six, a one-hour wait is sufficient.

By the way, these laws due not apply in the reverse case: After eating dairy, there is no necessity to wait six hours before eating meat. It would suffice to wash the hands and mouth. (Some are stringent to wait following hard cheese.)

To learn more, read "The Laws of Kashrus," by Rabbi Binyomin Forst (artscroll.com)

 

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Shevat 10 

Responsible One for Another

I am involved in Jewish communal work and it really makes me crazy when I see one Jewish group disparaging another. Even worse, people will look at a situation of need and say, “Oh, that’s not my problem!” Why can’t we work together!?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Jewish people are considered as one “organism.” What happens to one limb affects the entire body.

Every Jew recognizes that all the Jewish People are bound together. When there's a terrorist attack in Israel, we all feel it. The Talmud says "Kol Yisrael areivim zeh la-zeh" – Every Jew is responsible one for another.

The story is told of the religious man who died and went to heaven. There, he appeared before the Heavenly Tribunal to hear a listing of his good deeds and bad. The man was quite satisfied to hear of all his mitzvahs. But he was shocked to have included amongst his transgressions the prohibition of eating pork.

"What?!" the man protested, "but I never once ate pork!"

"True," spoke the Tribunal, "but for 20 years you lived next door to a man who ate pork, and you never made an effort to discuss it with him. For that, you are responsible."

The Chasidic writings compare this to a wealthy person who needs to warm himself in the winter. He could build a fire – in which case everyone in the room would benefit. But instead he warms only himself with a heavy coat and blankets. In both cases he's warmed; the only question is to what degree he's concerned about others.

Rabbi Motty Berger of Aish HaTorah once spoke to a group of Holocaust survivors in Jerusalem. He told them: "When I was a child, I would look at my grandparents and wonder, what were they doing during the Holocaust? The fact that millions of Jews were being placed into ovens was no secret; these horrors were reported regularly on the front page of the New York Times. So I wondered... were my grandparents out raising money to help ransom Jews? Were they organizing secret rescue efforts? Were they demanding media attention and marching on Washington?"

Then Rabbi Berger continued: "Today there is a grave problem threatening the Jewish people: Assimilation. Every year, 50,000 young Jews are opting out of the Jewish people. Lost to us forever. So what are we going to do about it? Because one day, our own grandchildren are going to look at us and wonder..."

Today there are many fine organizations committed to helping Jews in all area of need: building communities in Israel, connecting young Jews with their heritage, confronting the physical threats to Jews worldwide. Everyone needs to do there part, and everyone needs to support each other. Otherwise, we are losing the battle.