Ask the Rabbi

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"For he is not a Jew, which is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision, which is outward in the flesh: But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God" (Romans 2:28).

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2 Cheshvan

Seven Laws of Noah

I love the Jewish people and have enjoyed reading the many spiritual thoughts on your website. I want to draw closer to God, but from what I’ve read it is a very big commitment to convert. I don’t think I am up for this at this stage in my life. Is there some way to tap into the Torah wisdom without being part of the Jewish people?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for your inspiring words.

A person does not need to become Jewish to reach high spiritual levels, establish a relationship with God, and earn a reward in the world to come. Enoch "walked with God" and Noah had quite a high level of relationship, though neither were Jewish. Our tradition is that all of the 70 nations must function together and play an integral part in that "being" called humanity.

The Torah presents seven mitzvot for non-Jews to observe. These seven laws are the pillars of human civilization, and are named the "Seven Laws of Noah," since all humans are descended from Noah. Alas, many have forgotten these in the passage of time. Perhaps the best that we can do is to encourage all peoples to keep these and then it would indeed become a very different world. As explained in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 58b), they are:

1) Do not murder.

2) Do not steal.

3) Do not worship false gods.

4) Do not be sexually immoral.

5) Do not eat the limb removed from a live animal.

6) Do not curse God.

7) Set up courts and bring offenders to justice.

Maimonides explains that any human being who faithfully observes these laws earns a proper place in heaven. So you see, the Torah is for all humanity, no conversion necessary.

As well, when King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, he specifically asked God to heed the prayer of non-Jews who come to the Temple (1-Kings 8:41-43). The Temple was the universal center of spirituality, which the prophet Isaiah referred to as a "house for all nations." Non-Jews were welcome to bring offerings to the Temple as well. In fact, the service in the Holy Temple during the week of Sukkot featured a total of 70 bull offerings, corresponding to each of the 70 nations of the world. In fact, the Talmud says that if the Romans would have realized how much they were benefiting from the Temple, they never would have destroyed it!

Today, there are many active groups of non-Jews called "Bnei Noach" who faithfully observe the Seven Laws of Noah. Here are some websites (though I cannot vouch for their authenticity):

www.wikinoah.org

www.noahidenations.com

www.noachide.org.uk

www.1stcovenant.org

There are two excellent books on the topic:

"Path of the Righteous Gentile" by Chaim Clorfene and Yakov Rogalsky

"Seven Colors of the Rainbow" by Rabbi Yirmeyahu Bindman

You will also enjoy this interview with someone who faithfully follows the Laws of Noah: www.aish.com/jw/s/80405497.html

May the Almighty grant you blessings and success in your spiritual search.

[Bird's Eye View]

What do those Seven Laws of Noah mean for Gentiles who think they are to keep the Ten Commandments?

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3 Cheshvan

Land for Peace?

Is it permitted to disengage from areas of the West Bank, which constitutes the biblical heartland of Israel? Through news reports, I am able to keep up with what seem to be very frightening developments that world powers are trying to impose on our beloved Land of Israel. You at Aish, however, are literally on the frontline. What is your perspective on the situation: refugees, united Jerusalem, borders, etc.? I am anxious to hear of your hopes and fears.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Some people publicize the opinion that we have to defend (even with our lives at risk) all of biblical Israel and especially Jerusalem.

However, Rabbi A.Y. Kook, the first Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Israel, writes clearly that we should not endanger our lives because of land. In other words, we can give up land, if it will bring peace – colloquially called "land for peace." ("Mishpat Cohen" 142-144; c.f. "Michtavim U'Mamarim" 1:14 by Rabbi Elazar M. Schach)

The bottom line from a Torah standpoint is whether a particular political act -- in this case, giving up land -- will preserve the safety of Jewish lives, or endanger Jewish lives.

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef stated: "If the heads and commanders of the army, together with the government, state that saving of life is involved; that if areas of Israel are not given back, the danger exists of immediate war on the part of our Arab neighbors; and if the areas are returned to them, the danger of war will be averted; and that there is a chance of permanent peace; then it seems that according to all opinions it is permitted to return areas of Israel in order to achieve this aim, since nothing is more important than the saving of life."

In setting diplomatic policy, one general principle is that we should not do anything that will cause a severe backlash from the nations of the world. (Talmud – Ketubot 111a)

One possible solution to the crisis is to ensure that Arabs are educated in the ways of democracy, so they will see the benefit of upholding any agreements, and will protest against elements in their society that seek an all-or-nothing solution.

An additional factor needs to be considered: Holy sites like the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron and the Temple Mount in Jerusalem are our deepest roots. Cutting off the Jewish people from those places may likely have an adverse affect in terms of both morale and spiritual strength.

Certainly in terms of preserving access to the holy sites for all people, it would be best to keep them under Israeli control.

What will the political leaders decide? King Solomon wrote, "Like streams of water is the heart of a king in the hand of the Almighty. Wherever He wishes, so He directs it." (Proverbs 21:1)

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4 Cheshvan

Workaholic

I own a business which takes most of my time. As a matter of fact, I don't have any time left over for my wife and kids or anything else. My wife and kids are the most important people in my life, I just want to be the best husband and father I can possibly be.

But I feel that something is missing. When I attend synagogue, I find myself reading the prayers or the Torah portion without any emotions, almost as if it was just a book. Do you have any suggestions how to make my life more real and more meaningful?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Your letter reminds me of a story:

Mr. Schwartz is an investment banker in a major Wall Street investment firm. He's spending most of his days trying to reach his lifelong goal: to earn $25 million. He and his wife have three kids.

One day, a wealthy philanthropist named Cohen, who unfortunately has no children, comes to pay Schwartz a visit. He says, "Your kids are growing up without a father. You're off to work before they get up, and home long after they've gone to sleep. On weekends, you're at the club entertaining clients from out of town. A child needs a father. I'll give you the biggest shortcut of your financial career. You're spending your whole life to make $25 million dollars, right? I'll write you a check right now for that amount. All you have to do is give me one of your children to adopt."

Now, what does Schwartz the banker say to this generous offer?

$25 million dollars gets his attention. But even he realizes that there are things in life that you can't put a price tag on. He stares Cohen right between the eyes and announces: "No deal."

Now imagine the scene. Schwartz has just shut the door on $25 million dollars. He drives home, walks inside and sees his three kids playing on the living room floor. What do you think he does when he sees them?

He rushes over, and with tears in his eyes, gives each of them a big hug and a kiss. "You darling creatures are worth more than all the money in the universe!"

Then he says to himself, "Where have I been all their lives? I have something at home that's worth more to me than all the money in the world and I'm lucky if I spend an hour a week with them."

So what does Schwartz do? He calls the office, announces he's taking a two-week vacation, sends the maids, nannies and babysitters away. He's going to spend two blissful weeks with his kids.

After struggling for half an hour to get the stroller open, Schwartz makes it to the park. He and the kids are having a grand time. But then comes dinner, bath and story time. After enduring food fights, floods in the bathtub and endless readings of "Babar Goes to the Circus," Schwartz flops down on the couch, turns to his wife and says, "Perhaps I was being a bit hasty in taking that two-week vacation. You know I have a lot of responsibilities at the office..."

Similarly, I hear from your letter how deeply you care for your family. But emotions have to be given a setting to properly express themselves.

You are suffocating emotionally under your workload, to the extent that you do not even have time to spend with your family that you love more than anything.

If you cannot manage to find time for your family, how do you expect to feel anything when you pray?

A person is not a machine, and prayers are not switches that you turn on and off.

You must spend a little time before praying, think about one of your lovely children and how much you care for her/him. Then thank God in your heart for that little smile that you care for so much. Imagine soft, moving music in the background while you think about how grateful you are to God, and how much you would like to get close to Him and connect with Him.

Ask God to bring you close, and He will. But give Him a chance.

You know what our priorities should be. You just sometimes get distracted. So you need to concentrate on connecting your heart to your mind – and acting upon that which you intellectually know to be right.

But if you are always running around taking care of business, it's not going to happen.

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5 Cheshvan

Names of Hebrew Months

How did the Hebrew months get their names? When did the names of the months come about and to whom are they attributed?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If you look in the Bible, you'll see that the Hebrew months don't have names. Rather they have numbers, counting from the month of Nissan, which is described as "the first month" (Exodus 12:2).

In 1-Kings 6:2 the month of Iyar is referred to as the "month of Ziv." The word "ziv" is an adjective and means "radiance." Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov explains that it is called "radiance" because in this month the sun is in full radiance. Similarly, the Jewish people came into full radiance in this month, for they were made ready to receive the Torah during this month.

1-Kings 6:38 refers to the month of Cheshvan as "the month Bul," related to the word "baleh" which means, "withers," and the word "bolelin" which means "mixed." It is described in this fashion since the grass withers in this month, and the grain is mixed for the household livestock. The Radak explains that the word "bul" is related to "yevul" which means produce, since plowing and planting begins in this month.

Other names we use today are Babylonian in origin, adapted by the Jews some time during the Babylonian Exile, circa 400 CE. Ironically, the month of Tammuz is the name of an idol which appeared (via optical illusion) as if it was crying. This was achieved by putting soft lead into its eyes, and by kindling a small fire inside, which would melt the lead. This explains the reference in Ezekiel 8:14: "There were women sitting, causing the Tammuz to cry."

There are other opinions about the name of this month. Rashi says that the name Tammuz is an Aramaic word meaning "heat," since it is a hot summer month.

Another interesting note: Tammuz-17 was the name of the Iraqi nuclear reactor destroyed by Israel in 1981. It was so named because the 17th of Tammuz is the day that Jerusalem was sieged prior to the destruction of the Temple by Nebuchadnezzar, and Saddam Hussein was known to fancy himself as the heir to Nebuchadnezzar's fallen dynasty.

It's not any more unusual than the Western world whose months are connected to pagan practices: March is named after Mars, June is named after Juno, etc. Furthermore, even the days of the week - e.g. Sunday, Monday - are called after "sun" god and the "moon" god. The name Tuesday is connected to the Norse god of war.

Even though the names of the months are linguistically speaking Babylonian, they were adopted by the Jews with the understanding that they were Divinely inspired names, and are laden with kabbalistic nuances. Based on this, the Sages expounded the names of the months - e.g. Elul is an acronym for "ani ledodi vedodi li" (I am to my beloved, and my beloved is to me”), and Nisan is the month of "nissim" (miracles).

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6 Cheshvan

Playing Music on Shabbat

I have a question concerning playing music on Shabbat. My uncle is a wonderful guitar player and singer. He writes many songs and aspires to share his music with the world one day. On a recent Shabbat, we were at a friend's house where many people were singing. I asked him to play, but he declined, saying it was against Jewish law.

I feel this may be stretching the restrictions. For me, I believe that Shabbat is a time to share joy with family and friends. Music is a wonderful way to do this.

I am not seeking to criticize my uncle. I just want to get a better grasp on the concepts, so that I can discuss this point with him in a more educated manner.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

I appreciate the sincerity of your question. Of course there are many beautiful aspects of Shabbat -- the candles, the challah, the wine, and the opportunity for family and friends to be together.

Yet these aesthetic elements must not obscure the essence of Shabbat. It is a commemoration of the Creation of the world. Since God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh, in our effort to emulate God we likewise work for six days and rest on the seventh.

The Talmud (Shabbat 73a) describes 39 categories of "creative acts" which we refrain from on Shabbat. These are the 39 powers of creation that exist in the world, corresponding to those acts performed by God (so to speak) in creating the world. Just as God refrained from creative activity on the seventh day, we do likewise. And when we refrain from that which is prohibited on Shabbat, we are, in the truest sense, being God-like.

The job of protecting the Shabbat (as well as other mitzvot) was entrusted to the wisest and most dedicated leaders of the Jewish people, the members of the Sanhedrin. These leaders made certain enactments to protect the uniqueness of the Shabbat experience. One enactment is to not play a musical instrument on Shabbat. This is due to a concern that playing an instrument on Shabbat could lead to fixing an instrument in a way that infringes on one of the 39 types of activity.

If these laws are not respected, then the Shabbat experience is ultimately diminished. And since Shabbat is a cornerstone of Jewish life, this measure was taken to ensure that observance of Shabbat is maintained for all. Further, the enactment was approved and accepted by the entire Jewish nation.

Further, the Sages made no distinction between string and wind instruments. Frequently the Sages will enact a decree that way, because otherwise many people would get confused about what is permitted and what is not.

Music that involves only the body -- e.g. singing and whistling -- are permitted on Shabbat. All instruments are not.

I would like to share with you a story from pre-War Europe:

In the city of Dinov, Rabbi Tzvi Elimelech would sing the Shabbat morning prayers. As he would sing, he would gaze through the window and see the lush green rolling hills, the flowers splashing color against the deep blue sky. All this would move him to sing with great emotion the "Nishmat" prayer:

"If our mouths were filled with song like the sea is full of water, and our tongues as full of joyous song as the sea has waves, and our lips as full of praise as the breadth of the heavens, our eyes as brilliant as the sun and the moon, and our hands as outspread as eagles of the sky, and our feet swift as hinds -- we still could not thank You sufficiently."

Week after week, the non-Jewish shepherds would hear this song wafting over the country plain. They would stop their work to listen attentively, and many would even walk to the synagogue to hear the rabbi sing.

When the rabbi died, the congregation felt a rupture in their hearts. All week long they mourned, but on Shabbat, which is a time for happiness, they tried to restrain themselves. Yet the cantor, when he reached the "Nishmat" prayer, stopped to swallow a tear.

Suddenly, the entire congregation heard the rabbi's melody filling the synagogue! Everyone looked out the window to see the non-Jewish shepherds singing the rabbi's song. (from "Tales of the Chassidic Soul")

Indeed, music is a great part of Shabbat. That's why there is a rich heritage of Jewish melodies which add to the Shabbat atmosphere. Many of these songs are printed in the standard Siddur. So while you may miss your uncle's guitar playing one day a week, remember that he is keeping the Shabbat experience fully alive, as Jews have done, for thousands of years.

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7 Cheshvan

Historical Dating: Jewish versus Secular

In learning through your excellent “Crash Course in Jewish History” (www.aish.com/jl/h/cc/), I notice that in referencing some historical dates, the Jewish dating system and the Christian dating system vary by as much as 150 years - but by the time we get to the Roman period (i.e. the Christian year 1) the discrepancy disappears. Why?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Jewish dating system is taken primarily from a book called "Seder Olam Rabba," dating back to the 2nd century CE and attributed to Rabbi Yosef ben Halafta. The sources for the dates in Halafta's book come from rabbinic traditions recorded in the Talmud as well as numerous chronologies written in the Hebrew Bible.

It is also essential to remember that traditional Jewish chronologies (since the beginning of the Jewish calendar almost 6,000 years ago) are based on the highly accurate astronomical phenomenon of the moon orbiting the earth (months) and the earth around the sun (years). This gives traditional Jewish chronology a high degree of accuracy, especially when it comes to the major events of Jewish history.

Actually, the "secular" calendar has experienced many difficulties in trying to properly "align itself with the stars." Back in 46 BCE, the calendar had become hopelessly confused. Julius Caesar was forced to abandon the previous lunar system, replacing it with a tropical year of 365.25 days. Further, to correct the accumulation of previous errors, a total of 90 intercalary days had to be added to 46 BCE, meaning that January 1, 45 BCE, occurred in what would have been the middle of March.

Over the next 1,600 years, the disagreement between the Julian year of 365.25 days and the tropical year of 365.242199 gradually produced significant errors. The discrepancy mounted at a rate of 11 minutes 14 seconds per year - until it reached a full 10 days. In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII proclaimed that 10 days should be skipped in order to bring the calendar back into line. This was accomplished by designating that October 5 become October 15. In other words, the dates October 5-14, 1582 were simply eliminated.

So how do we get the chronology that historians use today?

Historians in the late 19th and early 20th centuries worked backward and pieced it together. This was done primarily through comparing what little historical records survived from ancient Rome, Greece, Mesopotamia and Egypt, together with archaeological finds and radio carbon dating.

Because there are margins of error in all of these methods and much is open to interpretation, significant debates erupted between different scholars which continue to this day. Therefore, the chronologies used by modern historian can best be described as well-educated guesses.

Jewish chronology makes a stronger case for historical accuracy, and that's why we have chosen to use the traditional Jewish dates.

Today there are a number of renowned scholars also challenging the modern chronology and even attempting to reconcile it with the Jewish chronology. Amongst them is British scholar Peter James who writes: "By redating the beginning of the Iron Age in Palestine from the early 12th century BCE to the late 10th, a completely new interpretation of the archaeology of Israel can be offered: One which is in perfect harmony with the biblical record." ("Centuries in Darkness" by Peter James; Rutgers University Press, 1993, p. 318.)

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8 Cheshvan

Candle Lighting Times

I say that Shabbat begins 18 minutes before sundown. My son says it begins after lighting the Shabbat candles. Who is right?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You're both right! (How's that for a diplomatic answer?)

Shabbat starts with candle-lighting, which is traditionally 18 minutes before sunset.

The reason why we light candles a few minutes early is in order to avoid any possibility of starting Shabbat late. Think of it as a train leaving the station. If you're one minute late, you've missed it.

It is, however, permitted to "start Shabbat early." This is simply done by lighting the candles, or through a verbal acceptance of Shabbat.

The earliest time to start Shabbat is an hour-and-a-quarter before sunset. Many communities do this during the summer months, when sunset can be very late -- even 11:00 p.m. in parts of Europe. (And don't even ask me about Alaska!)

Keep in mind that this is not exactly an "hour-and-a-quarter" on your clock. That's because the Jewish day -- from sunrise to sunset -- is divided into 12 equal parts. So no matter how long or short the day is, each twelfth is considered "one hour." It's a bit complicated, so you may want to have a rabbi help you with the math.

By the way, though most communities light Shabbat candles 18 minutes before sunset, local custom may vary. For instance in Jerusalem, the custom is to light 40 minutes before sunset. (see Minchas Yitzhak 9:20; Sefer Eretz Yisrael p. 26; Badei HaShulchan 73:14)

And one more point: While women usually begin Shabbat upon lighting the candles, men usually begin Shabbat as part of the Kabbalat Shabbat synagogue service.

Aish.com has a fantastic online chart that tells you the exact candle-lighting time for your local city. Go to: www.aish.com/sh/c/

Shabbat Shalom!

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9 Cheshvan

Raising Children in a Jewish Environment

My husband is a university professor. We live in a small city with a very small Jewish community. I see my friends and relatives who live in cities with a thriving Jewish life and for us everything seems like such a struggle. Most of all I worry about our children and how they will be able to forge a proud Jewish identity in such an environment. I don’t want to pressure my husband to leave the job he loves, but I am concerned.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

On Friday night, when we bless our sons, we say that they should be – not like the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – but rather “like Ephraim and Menashe.” Why were they chosen as the subjects of this important tradition?

A beautiful explanation is articulated by Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch (19th century Germany):

The first generations of Jews – Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – raised their children primarily in the Land of Israel. The Holy Land is the most hospitable Jewish environment, where the Talmud reports that "even the air makes you wise." So in one sense, that was easy.

But with the famine, Jacob and his family all moved to Egypt. The next generation would grow up surrounded by paganism and immorality. The test was whether Judaism would survive amidst all the distractions and challenges of diaspora life.

It is not an easy task. But Ephraim and Menashe succeeded. And throughout the ages, Jewish parents have prayed that their children should be able to withstand the temptations of exile, and keep a strong, proud Jewish identity.

In one sense, your children have a great advantage. When someone grows up surrounded by other Jews, he has less opportunity to think about what Judaism means to him, simply because he is not confronted by others to do so. But your children – whether it’s wearing a kippah in public, or only eating kosher food – have the challenge of justifying and articulating their actions. This ultimately strengthens their commitment.

Of course, a small Jewish community has a downside as well – primarily the lack of educational opportunities. But for now, this should help you to focus on the positive.

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10 Cheshvan

Who is a Mamzer?

My mother has, unfortunately, been through a number of marriages and other living-together arrangements. This has produced a hodge-podge of children from different fathers. I actually was conceived through an affair that my mother had, and she has never revealed the identity of my biological father. To make a long story short, I was speaking with my friend (who wears a kippah) and he said that I should check out that I may be a mamzer. I remember that my grandma would call someone a "mamzer" as a kind of curse. The Internet didn't help much, because I don't know what information is reliable. Can you please help set things straight?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

A child is a mamzer if he is the result of relations with a Jewish man, that a Jewish woman is forbidden to marry – e.g. the result of incest, or an adulterous affair.

A child that was born to an unmarried woman, is simply considered a child born out of wedlock, and is not a mamzer. However, if the woman was married at the time of conception, then that is adultery and the child is a mamzer.

A woman must be sure to receive a proper Get if she is being divorced, otherwise she is still considered married and subsequent children are considered as mamzers. It should be stressed that a civil divorce does not sever the marriage from the Jewish point of view. Only a Get can create a proper divorce. (see: www.aish.com/jl/l/m/103423494.html)

A Jew who is a mamzer must keep all the commandments just like any other Jew, but he does have severe limitations regarding whom he can marry.

That's the legal aspect. The philosophical aspect raises the question: Why is the mamzer punished for the parents' mistake? The answer is that adultery (or incest, which also produces a mamzer) is one of the most terrible crimes, and the reality is that while people will sometimes hurt themselves, they will think much more carefully about hurting their children. So this is a deterrent factor.

The soul of a mamzer, for reasons unbeknownst to us mortals, must undergo the limitations of being a mamzer for the purpose of fulfilling his mission in the world. The circumstances that each individual finds himself in are directly related to his unique mission. For some it may be a physical handicap; for others, a metaphysical one. The mamzer is not paying for his parents' iniquities, he is being given a specific challenge for his own growth.

I think the key for you at this point is to try to find out what really happened. The question of whether you are a mamzer depends on a number of things:

1) Was your mother born of a Jewish mother?

2) Was she married to a Jew at the time she had relations your father?

4) If she was married to a Jew, was the original wedding ceremony "kosher" in Jewish law?

5) If yes, was she divorced from her first husband according to Jewish law with a "get," or was it a civil divorce?

As you can see, there are many, many details of Jewish law pertaining to this, and anything said in this email cannot be used to determine a practical application in any specific case. A potentially wrong answer could have serious long-term consequences for the people involved.

Bottom line: If you have any questions about your status, or about that of any particular young woman, you need to speak with a reliable authority in Jewish law. If you tell me what city you're located in, I'll be happy to recommend someone you could contact.

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11 Cheshvan

Purpose of Animals

It is my understanding that God created everything for a reason, and yet it seems that creatures such as ants, flies and mosquitoes only do bad – spoiling food, spreading bacteria and diseases. Should we try to preserve these species, or maybe we should just eliminate them all as a nuisance?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

King Solomon wrote in Proverbs, "Go to the ant, you sluggard; see its ways and grow wise. Though there is neither officer nor guard nor ruler over her, she prepares her food in the summer and stores up her food in the harvest time." (Proverbs 6:6)

The Midrash explains that King Solomon was warning lazy people to learn from ants since ants never stop working. Throughout their lives they continuously store up food – in fact more food than they could ever eat! Likewise, man should also seek to do mitzvahs. Just as the ant "prepares her food in the summer," so too we should seek to do mitzvahs all the time we are alive. And just as the ant enjoys her food at "harvest time," so too we will enjoy our reward in the World to Come. (Midrash – Devarim Rabba)

The Talmud writes: "If the Torah had not been given, we could have learned modesty from the cat (because it relieves itself in private), prohibition of theft from the ant (since they do not take food belonging to another ant), fidelity from the dove (because they only have one mate), and good manners from the rooster who first sweet-talks and then mates." (Rashi, Talmud – Eruvin 100b)

Elsewhere the Mishna writes, "Be bold as a leopard, and swift as an eagle, and fleet as a hart, and strong as a lion, to do the will of thy Father in heaven." (Ethics of our Fathers 5:20)

And this is only talking about the lessons one can learn from animals. When we think about the enjoyment and fun we can also have from owning pets – or even going to the zoo – animals take on an even more important place.

As for what we learn from a mosquito, I am sure you will be able to find at least one redeeming feature that they add to God's creation. (Some have suggested that he provides food for a variety of birds.) But I wouldn't wait until he lands on your arm to start pondering such a question...

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12 Cheshvan

Struggle

I have been in a year-long legal battle with someone who is trying to literally destroy my life. This has been the biggest challenge I have faced in 25 years (when I lost $5 million in a business deal gone sour). I just can't figure out what God wants from me on this. Any ideas?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It is very difficult for us to "judge" God because we are stuck in time and space. And because our view is so limited, we are therefore limited in terms of knowing which ground rules God is employing. When "bad" things happen, there are so many possibilities of why it's happening. "Is this a challenge in life that was given to me so I could become an example to inspire others? Or is this to get me to fix a wrong I've done? Or is this due to historical/national forces that are affecting me as an individual? Or is what's happening to me now through a choice that I've made? Or that I'm on my own because I've distanced myself?"

Sometimes what we perceive as punishment is really an opportunity for growth. In the story of the "Binding of Isaac," the Torah says that "God tested Abraham." Of course God already knew what Abraham was capable of. So who was the test for? It wasn't for God; it was for Abraham.

I want to share a story that I heard from a friend who experienced the following incident. If you've ever ridden a bus in Israel, you know how people enter the bus from the front door and pay the driver, and people exiting the bus do so from the back door. Sometimes the bus is so crowded that people will also enter from the back door, and then pass their money up front to pay the driver.

Well, this one time the driver decided he wasn't going to allow that. He announced that whoever had entered from the back door, must now get off the bus and walk around to the front. Everybody complied grumpily, except for one very old man who could barely walk in the first place. Yet the driver stuck to his guns and announced that the bus would not move until this old man came on through the front door.

So slowly, slowly, one small step at a time, the old man got off the bus and walked around. And all the while, the people on the bus were shouting at the driver for not only his insensitivity to the old man, but for wasting everyone's time!

Finally, the old man managed to make it up through the front door and pay the driver. And then he turned toward the bus full of angry people and told them: "Please, don't be upset. We should be grateful that my legs still work, and I have the strength to walk. Thank God!!"

The Almighty only provides a challenge that you can pass. Apparently this is the challenge that the Almighty gave for you to grow. I know you can rise to it and take pleasure in your success. And it will make you stronger and better.

I want to conclude with the following poem I once read:

I asked for strength and

God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom and

God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity and

God gave me brawn and brain to work.

I asked for courage and

God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for love and

God gave me troubled people to help...

My prayers were answered.

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13 Cheshvan

Stolen Funds

In my college days, I stole approximately $300. This was 7 years ago. I have wanted to give it back all this time. But I am too embarrassed to tell the guy I stole from. Also, he might go to the police or something. Here's my questions:

a) How can I return it to him and be forgiven without telling him it was me?

Since the whole thing was actually another's guy's idea, yet I did the deed, are we both equally responsible.

c) Do I have to send him some interest, or will he be happy enough receiving money out of the blue?

Please advise.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

First, I am deeply moved by your desire to make amends. Imagine the sensitivity of your soul to be bothered by this for so long!

This reminds me of an incident that happened to me recently. I was visiting my old neighborhood where I used to live. Suddenly a boy about 12 years old called out to me from down the street. He ran up to me and said, "Excuse me, did you used to live here?" "Yes," I said. "Well, about five years ago I borrowed a dollar from you, and now I'd like to return it." He had borrowed one dollar at age 7 and had never forgotten it!

So on to your questions...

a) If you think this person will go to the police, then you should give it back anonymously. If you are not afraid of him going to the police, you must ask him for forgiveness as well.

Whoever actually stole the money has to pay back. It doesn't matter whose idea it was, since anyway the Torah prohibits stealing. Which means that if someone suggests to steal, the suggestion has no force to override the pre-existing Torah prohibition.

c) You do not have to pay any interest.

If for some reason you can't locate the person you stole from, you should use that money to assist in some community-related project.

May the Almighty bless you for your honesty.

[phkrause]

14 Cheshvan

The Purpose of Life

I'm 16, thinking about my life, college, career. I see a lot of unhappy adults and I don't want to end up like them. They have a lot of money, but their personal life seems empty. So, rabbi, what is man's purpose in life?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Believe it or not, the purpose of life is to attain pleasure.

A primary source of pleasure is having power.

What is power?

A glance at the world would tell us that power comes from owning things. Ownership is the ability to control, which gives us the feeling of power. The more things we own, people believe, the more power we have!

In truth, however, "things" are temporary since they often break and deteriorate. When the object breaks, so does our power. This cannot be true power, since true power must transcend breakage. It is logical to conclude that true power must transcend physicality all together. It also follows that true transcendent power should only be able to be obtained by plugging into a truly transcendent source of power.

God and His Torah are the truly transcendent sources of power.

Every drop of Torah that is learned, and every mitzvah accomplished, gets one closer to God and nourishes the soul, which is also transcendent. This nourishment gives the soul power, not only in this world, but even when the soul has departed from the body at life's end. This is truly transcendent power!

What does all this have to do with pleasure?

Just as true power cannot be obtained by amassing "things" (since the power it caused was merely transient), it follows that true pleasure must also have a sense of permanence and not be merely a fleeting pleasurable moment.

Permanent pleasure is being plugged in to God. God created the universe so that we could experience this pleasure.

Pleasure is knowing that God loves us. Pleasure is knowing that God is intimately involved in our lives. Pleasure is knowing that our soul is eternal and is completely pure. Pleasure is knowing that there is meaning in life and that our actions on Earth make a difference.

This pleasure is obtained by giving power to the soul - which comes through learning Torah and connecting to God, the ultimate source of power and pleasure.

To learn more, see www.aish.com/sp/48w

[phkrause]

15 Cheshvan

Overcoming Hatred

I've been thinking a lot about all the strife in this world - between individuals, between countries, between races. I understand that hatred occurs when there is hostility between two people, and neither have a desire to see the positive in each other and build a friendship.

Surely, given the vast range of different personalities around, people will come across others with whom they simply do not get along, and if they try to associate with them, the hatred will just build. Isn't it better to just agree to differ and avoid contact with them?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah says: "If you see the donkey of someone you hate lying under its load, you must help him unload it" (Exodus 23:5).

While the verse addresses alleviating the pain of an animal, it also presents another issue: Helping someone you "hate" unload his donkey.

We see from here that the way to overcome hatred is to help the other person, care for them, and give to them. When I give to someone, I invest a piece of myself, and therefore we become bonded.

Of course, if your hatred is greater than your ability to be patient and giving, and the interaction will end in a fight, then it's better left alone. But if you are capable of overcoming the challenge, then it's good to put yourself in a situation where you are forced to help the object of your dislike.

Otherwise, hatred left alone will just fester, waiting to explode. And is that really the type of world we want to live in?

[phkrause]

16 Cheshvan

The Number 30

I am turning 30 in a few weeks, and I'm wondering if the number 30 has any significance in Judaism?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

It certainly does!

The Talmud says that 30 is the age when we reach the prime of our energy (Avot 5:21).

Also, royalty is attained through 30 requisites (Avot 6:5).

The lunar month is a few hours less than thirty days.

Also, there are numerous laws attached to the number 30:

A Nazir vow, when not specified for how long, is for 30 days.

A Kohen serving in the Holy Temple should have a haircut every 30 days.

Pidyon HaBen, redemption of the first-born, is after 30 days. (Numbers 18:16)

So happy birthday - and may you fulfill the prime of your energy!

[phkrause]

17 Cheshvan

The Nose & Smells

I've always found something quite spiritual about my sense of smell. And having read that the highlight of the Yom Kippur service in the Holy Temple was bringing incense into the Holy of Holies, I can't help but wonder about the deeper significance of the olfactory sense. Can you explain?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah (Genesis 2:7) states that "God breathed life into the form of Man." The Hebrew word for "breath" -- nesheema -- is the same as the word for "soul" -- neshama. One's spiritual life force comes, metaphorically, by way of air and respiration.

The senses of taste, touch and sight are used to perceive physical matter. Even "hearing" involves the perception of sound waves. But breathing, and its associated sense of smell, is the most spiritual of senses, with the least physical matter involved. As the Talmud says: "Smell is that which the soul benefits from, and the body does not."

I think there's truth to common expressions like, "He has a good nose for business," and "Something doesn't smell right." Smell is intangible, yet very intuitive. It represents one's internal compass. The Talmud says that when the Messiah comes, he will "smell and judge" -- that is, he will use his spiritual sensitivity to determine complex truths.

Indeed, the nose knows!

[phkrause]

18 Cheshvan

Mazal Tov!

I am not Jewish, but I frequently hear the words "Mazal Tov" at a wedding or on television. What is the origin of this expression?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Mazal is the astrological influence that a person is born under. The Talmud (Shabbat 156a) discusses what has a greater influence on a person: the day of the week (with attributes based on the days of creation), or the planetary sign. This influence is a spiritual flow that God has set into creation (and it is not any independent power, God forbid).

That is why we wish people "mazal tov" - literally that they should have a "good mazal."

On the other hand, the same piece of Talmud states the concept of "ain mazal l'Yisrael" - that Jews are not bound by any astrological influence, and are able to override any predetermined astrological pattern.

In Jewish thinking, a person's whole future is mapped out in the stars, and for one who knows how, reading the stars is like reading a book of the future. It is, however, forbidden for a Jew to read the stars or listen to someone who can do so. The Torah tells us that God took Abraham and lifted him "above the stars." Abraham was able to have a child at age 100, with his 90-year-old wife Sarah that had no womb! A Jew, God told Abraham, should be "above the stars." The message is that the stars would have no influence on Abraham or his future descendents.

The Talmud cites the example of Rebbe Akiva's daughter, whose mazal indicated that she would die young. However, the tragedy was averted by her involvement in Torah and mitzvot, specifically doing kind deeds. (At her wedding celebration, she took time out to tend to the poor people; the snake that was destined to bite her was killed instead.)

By elevating herself, she literally changed her human nature, and thus the original mazal-influence no longer applied.

Our horoscopes are only as true as we allow them to be. Unfortunately, it is much easier to go through life on automatic pilot. Life can go where the stars say it will, or where we want it to go. The choice is entirely ours.

So you see, while we wish people good "mazal" (i.e. their "default" influence from above), we also strive to change and improve that influence.

[phkrause]

19 Cheshvan

Mixed Identity

My father is Jewish and my mother is not. I live in a Jewish community and have Jewish friends. I attend Jewish lessons every Monday, and dinners with rabbis on the Jewish holidays. If I date a Jewish girl, will her family not want her to marry me because my mother is not Jewish? I have half-brothers and a sister who are totally not Jewish. I'm a bit confused.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts.

It appears that your confused identity is a tragic result of intermarriage.

According to Jewish law, you are not Jewish.

Jewishness is passed on via the mother. If the mother is Jewish, the child is 100% Jewish. This is true regardless of who the father is, and whether he is Jewish or not.

So now you are in a terrible quandary. You identify as a Jew, but you are not Jewish. Who should you marry? An Episcopalian? I think not.

It appears there are two options for you right now.

Judaism presents seven mitzvot for non-Jews to observe. These are the pillars of human civilization, and are named the "Seven Laws of Noah," since all humans are descended from Noah. As explained in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 58b), they include the prohibition against theft, murder, and sexual immorality.

Maimonides explains that anyone who faithfully observes these laws earns a proper place in heaven. Today, there are many active groups of non-Jews called "Bnei Noach" who faithfully observe the Seven Laws of Noah. The Bnei Noach are people have a very "Jewish" feeling, but are not Jewish. For example, see this article: www.aish.com/jw/s/80405497.html

To learn more about the origins and ideals of Bnei Noach, see an excellent book on the topic, called "The Path of the Righteous Gentile," by Chaim Clorfene and Yakov Rogalsky.

The other alternative is to pursue conversion to Judaism. This is not simple, given that you will want to make sure it is "kosher" from a Jewish legal perspective. According to the Code of Jewish Law, there are three requirements for a valid conversion:

1) Mikveh – All converts must immerse in the Mikveh – a ritual bath linked to a reservoir of rain water.

2) Milah – Male converts must undergo circumcision by a qualified "Mohel." If he was previously circumcised by a doctor, he then undergoes a ritual called "hatafas dam."

3) Mitzvot – This is the clincher. The convert must believe in God and the divinity of the Torah, as well as accept upon himself to observe all 613 mitzvot (commandments) of the Torah. This includes observance of Shabbat, Kashrut, etc. – as detailed in the Code of Jewish Law, the authoritative source for Jewish observance. This means that a motor vehicle is not used on Shabbat, that cheese is eaten only with kosher supervision, that a woman uses the mikveh every month, and much much more.

The conversion process must be done before a court of three Jewish men who themselves believe in God, accept the divinity of the Torah, and observe the mitzvot. In the case of someone who denies fundamental principles of Jewish belief (such as, the word-for-word divinity of the Torah), or offers to perform the conversion without requiring full mitzvah observance, the conversion would be invalid according to the Code of Jewish Law. As you could imagine, this would create a variety of confusions regarding the person's religious identity, and that of their children. And in your case, this would only further complicate things.

There are two excellent books which are helpful for conversion:

- "To Be A Jew" by Chaim Halevi Donin – www.amazon.com/dp/0465086322

- "Becoming a Jew" by Maurice Lamm – www.amazon.com/dp/0824603508/

Also recommended are two real-life accounts of non-Jews who converted to Judaism:

- "Migrant Soul" by Avi Shafran – www.amazon.com/dp/0944070450/

- "The Bamboo Cradle" by Avraham Schwartzbaum – www.amazon.com/dp/0873064593/

You have a special soul which is yearning to find truth. For the sake of your spiritual health, I suggest you start immediately!

[phkrause]

20 Cheshvan

In the Image of God

Maimonides' 13 Principles of Faith states: "I believe with perfect faith that God does not have a body. Physical concepts do not apply to Him. There is nothing that resembles Him at all."

What, then, is Genesis 1:27 referring to when it states: "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him." Is this a "spiritual" image?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Does God have ears because it says, "God heard the sound of your words" (Deut. 1:34)? Does God have a mouth since it says, "God spoke to us" (Deut. 1:6)? Does God have an arm since it says, "I shall redeem you with an outstretched arm" (Exodus 6:6)? Does God have a hand, as it says, "I raised My hand to give it to Abraham" (Exodus 6:8)?

Nope!

So why does the Torah use human terms to describe God?

Because the human mind is limited, and therefore lacks the ability to conceive of God who is perfect. So the Torah describes God in familiar terms, in order that we should grasp aspects of God's character. For example, we can appreciate that God has the power of communication (mouth), the trait of kindness (right hand), etc. This is a very deep subject and is the basis of volumes of Kabbalistic work.

As for the specific verse you cited in Genesis, what does it mean to be "in the image of God"?

Humans are like God in the sense that we have free will. Free will does not mean picking chocolate over vanilla. That's simply a preference, just as a cow chooses to eat hay instead of grass.

Rather, "free will" refers to decisions which are uniquely human: a moral choice to do right or wrong. This stems from the divine soul that is unique to all human beings.

There are times when you know objectively that something is good for you, but your physical desires get in the way and distort your outlook. The animal soul within us wants to choose the easy path, which may not be the morally correct choice. Sometimes we can actually hear ourselves fighting it out. Here's a conversation you may have had with yourself:

Divine Soul: "Let's get out of bed early today and really accomplish something meaningful!"

Animal Soul: "Leave me alone, I'd rather sleep."

Divine Soul: "Come on, let's be great!"

Animal Soul: "Relax, what's the big deal if we wait till tomorrow?"

What's going on? Are you schizophrenic? No, just battling opposing sides within yourself. And that's what makes the human being so unique. Of all God's creatures, only humans can become elevated through choice, as we are not bound in our decisions by any pre-ordained laws. That's truly divine!

To learn more about free will, go to www.aish.com/sp/f/48965061.html

[phkrause]

21 Cheshvan

Sex Mitzvah

What is the Jewish view of sex? Is sex just for procreative purposes, or is it all right to have sex with one's spouse for recreation and intimacy?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Sex is permitted only within the context of marriage, and only during the times when the woman is ritually pure (she separates during and after menstruation, followed by immersing in a mikveh). As long as these guidelines are observed, then Judaism endorses sex for recreational purposes, even if there is no chance of the woman becoming pregnant.

In fact, Judaism views sex as a triple mitzvah:

1) It is a mitzvah for a husband and wife to love each other and share intimacy. (Genesis 2:24)

2) It is a mitzvah for a man to fulfill his wife's sexual needs. (Exodus 21:10)

3) Additionally, if there is a chance of procreation, it is a mitzvah to "be fruitful and multiply." (Genesis 1:28)

For more on the Jewish view of sexuality, see "Marriage Power."

[phkrause]

22 Cheshvan

Wonders of Jewish History

I am an avid student of history and it seems that the Jewish people have always held a special place in the world. They are always at the center of things – whether Israel or the media. I don’t mean just today – I mean ever since the dawn of recorded history. What’s behind this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

King Louis XIV once had a discussion with the famous 17th century Roman Catholic philosopher and mathematician, Blaise Pascal. The king asked for evidence of the supernatural, and Pascal responded. "The Jews, Your Majesty, the Jews!"

Jewish history is an incredible paradox. On one hand, we are promised to be the eternal nation: "And I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations, an eternal covenant, to be your God and the God of the descendants after you." (Genesis 17:7)

On the other hand, we are promised to be scattered into exile (not good odds for becoming the eternal nation!): "And you, I will scatter among the nations, at the point of My drawn sword, leaving your country desolate and your cities in ruins." (Leviticus 26:33)

But then on the first hand (again), we are promised to be a light unto the nations: "I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness, and will hold your hand and keep you. And I will establish you as a covenant of the people, for a light unto the nations." (Isaiah 42:6)

But on the second hand (again), we are promised to be the victim of intense hatred: "Among those nations you shall find no respite, no rest for your foot. God will make you cowardly, destroying your outlook and making life hopeless. You will live in constant suspense. Day and night, you will be terrified, never sure of your existence." (Deut. 28:65-66)

But then again on the first hand, we are promised to be numerous like sand and stars: "I will surely bless you and greatly increase your offspring like the stars of the heavens and like the sand on the seashore..." (Genesis 22:17)

But then again on the second hand, we are promised to be few in number: "And you shall remain few in number among the nations where God shall lead you." (Deuteronomy 4:27)

I think you get the idea. Jewish history simply doesn't comply with the rest of history; it does not make sense.

Many scholars, historians and writers have noticed this and remarked about it. Mark Twain, an agnostic and a self-acknowledged skeptic, penned this in 1899 in Harper's Magazine:

"The Egyptian, the Babylonian, and the Persian rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away. The Greek and Roman followed, made a vast noise and they are gone. Other peoples have sprung up, and held their torch high for a time, but it burned out and they sit in twilight now or have vanished. The Jew saw them all, beat them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmities of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind. All things are mortal, but the Jew. All other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?"

So... what is the secret?

[phkrause]

Who is the Messiah?

My Christian friends seem to enjoy the idea that their Messiah has already come (and waiting to return). What does Judaism say about the Messiah – who is he and what will he accomplish?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Bible says that the Messiah will:

1) Build the Third Temple. (Ezekiel 37:26-28)

2) Gather all Jews back to the Land of Israel. (Isaiah 43:5-6)

3) Usher in an era of world peace and end all hatred, oppression, suffering and disease. As it says: "Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall man learn war anymore." (Isaiah 2:4)

4) Spread universal knowledge of the God of Israel, which will unite humanity as one. As it says: "God will be King over all the world – on that day, God will be One and His Name will be One." (Zechariah 14:9)

It is clear that no previous historical figure has fulfilled these requirements (and there is no tradition for any "second coming").

Furthermore, Jewish sources say that the messiah will be a regular human being, born naturally to husband and wife. He is not a god, nor born of a supernatural or virgin birth.

The very idea that God would take on human form is repulsive to Jews because it contradicts our concept of God as being above and beyond the limitations of the human body and situation. Jews believe that God alone is to be worshiped, and not a being who is His creation, be he angel, saint, or even the messiah himself.

ps:sad very sad

[phkrause]

24 Cheshvan

Jerusalem Programs for Women

I’m a 30-year-old single Jewish woman. For many years I have wanted to go to Israel and study for a short sabbatical-like trip. I am now between jobs and have the opportunity. What do you recommend for my age and station in life?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

When you are in Jerusalem, I encourage you to visit any of the following excellent study programs for women:

Jewel – a 3-week introductory program, where university and professional women from all backgrounds build a foundation in Self Development, Prayer, Bible, Hebrew, Mysticism, Philosophy, Holidays and more. Jewel offers an easygoing environment to fully explore your Jewish heritage with top lecturers from around the world. www.jewel4women.com/

EYAHT, the Aish HaTorah College of Jewish Studies for Women, offers a comprehensive, multi-level study program for university and professional women from all backgrounds. EYAHT is headed by Rebbetzin Dena Weinberg, who has empowered a generation of Jewish women to inspire other women across the globe. A new campus in Jerusalem houses our expanding program. www.eyaht.org/

Gem – Catering to Jewish women 30 years and older, Gem answers those philosophical and theological questions you've had for years. The 10-day program features classes, day trips, and a weekend retreat. Our esteemed faculty and caring staff will give you the experience of a lifetime. http://israel.aish.com/gem/

Neve Yerushalayim – the largest Jewish women's college in Israel. www.nevey.org

She'arim – www.shearim.com

Midreshet Rachel – http://www.darchenoam.org/midreshet-rachel/

And don't miss the world-famous Discovery seminar, offered each week in Jerusalem. www.aish.com/dis/