Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

[phkrause]

The Sabbath definitely brings that out each and every week.

[phkrause]

#320 Be Respectful, No Matter What

The Torah gives us an important rule in relationships: Even though you are suffering, you have no right to cause suffering to others. Whatever your distress, you still need to speak and act with respect. If you are ever in a bad mood, be especially careful not to speak or act to others in a way that will be distressful for them.

[Naomi]

#320 is so very good. As I read I was thinking, "Yes, yes, yes" but then reality set in. It is so easy to be distressed or not feeling well and someone will say something that hits a raw spot and the response is to verbally slap them.

#320 takes a lot of work; in my case it appears to take a lifetime to learn to Be Respectful, No Matter What.

[phkrause]

#321 Keep Focused On Your Goal

Always ask yourself: "What is my goal right now?"

When you keep focused on a specific goal, you are less likely to get sidetracked by venting your anger at someone. You'll discover that your real goal is incompatible with losing your temper and shouting.

For example, an employer wants his employee to do a good job. Encouragement is more likely to achieve that goal than yelling. Similarly, parents want their children to learn positive values. A friendly, warm talk is more effective than angry outbursts.

By being aware of your original target and goal, you will stay focused and accomplish more.

[phkrause]

#322 Growth Is Gradual

A person who tries to force himself to change his character in an extremely short time is apt to become depressed and will not be successful. Set reasonable goals for yourself. Work on your faults little by little.

If you make impossible demands on yourself, you will feel frustrated and miserable.

[phkrause]

#323 Fear Of Disapproval

Frequently people worry about the possibility that others might fail to show them respect and approval. While details differ for each person, the underlying factor is fear of disapproval -- people might think you lack intelligence, or other virtues and abilities.

Realize that the pain you suffer from worrying about this is much greater than that of actual disapproval.

Try to accept the worst. Imagine that every person who sees you will have a low opinion of you. Emotionally accept this. Once you've accepted this, although you might not like it, you will no longer need to worry about lack of approval.

[phkrause]

#324 Mentally Prepare For Challenges

The more mentally prepared you are for challenges to your being in a serene state, the greater your ability to maintain this state. The goal to strive for is to be able to remain in a serene state even when other people say and do things that could potentially cause distress. Mentally practice remaining serene regardless of what anyone says. Knowing that you can do this in your imagination will free you from worrying about what anyone may say in the future.

[Naomi]

pkrause, These are so very good. I read them and think "I know that" then I have to ask myself "Why don't I do that?"

Thank you for your posts and the good reminders of how I (we) should we should be.

[phkrause]

#325 Wise Person's Goal

A wise man said, "Most people do not feel bad because they lack wisdom; they feel bad because people say they lack wisdom."

The honor-seeker does not study wisdom to become wiser. Rather, his goal is to show off how wise he is. This is an attribute of a fool (Proverbs 18:2). A truly wise person's goal is to gain more wisdom whether or not he gains honor.

[phkrause]

#326 Don't Buy Approval

The Chafetz Chaim wrote that a major reason some people live beyond their means is to gain approval. They feel the need to spend large amounts of money on things that will gain them status, even though they are unable to afford them.

This is the opposite of a Torah way of life.

[phkrause]

#327 Show Them Their Potential

If someone sees himself as inferior, you can help change his attitude by seeing him now as the potentially great person he could possibly become.

[phkrause]

#328 Respond To Disrespect With Dignity

Anger frequently comes from feeling that someone did not treat you with the proper respect. People tend to feel angry with someone who fails to show them the honor they think they deserve.

The solution is to contemplate how valueless honor really is.

When you react to slights to your honor with a sense of personal dignity, you gain much more than when you lose your temper. The greater your own realization that you have intrinsic worth since you are created in the image of the Almighty, the less the slights of mortals will affect you.

[phkrause]

#329 Guard Your Health

There is a Torah commandment to guard our health. High levels of stress cause many health problems. Your immune system works best when you are calm and serene. The efforts one makes to alleviate stress is the fulfillment of the Creator's will. As our loving Father, He wants us to be well.

Viewing decreasing stress and increasing serenity as a spiritual obligation will raise this to a higher priority. Moreover, we should strive to experience joy in doing the Almighty's will (in Hebrew this is called Simcha shel mitzvah). This adds a major dimension to the entire process.

[phkrause]

#330 Fear Of Disapproval

Realize that no matter what you do, you won't obtain unanimous approval. Therefore never let the fear of disapproval of others prevent you from doing the right thing.

Lack of approval will only distress you if you allow it to. Ultimately, any emotional power anyone has over you is the power you decide to give that person.

[phkrause]

#331 Recognize Your Potential

Negative character traits come from discouragement. A person with faulty traits does not think of himself in elevated terms. He thinks he does not have the inner strength and potential to reach greatness. Only when a person recognizes that he has the potential to reach the most elevated levels will he strive for that!

[phkrause]

#332 Trust Can Lower Your Anxiety

"Bitochon" is the awareness that the Creator is running the world and all that happens is for your ultimate benefit. The more bitochon you have, the less anxiety you will experience.

When you have an internalized awareness that all that He does is for your good, you will find yourself experiencing greater degrees of inner peace and serenity.

[phkrause]

#333 Picture Success

We were put into this world to accomplish. Each of us has a unique mission. There are many different forms of personal achievement, just as there are different people on our planet.

Make it a regular habit to imagine yourself accomplishing what you wish to accomplish. This will motivate yourself to accomplish more. As you create these visions in your mind's eye, you will be conditioning yourself in a way that - in reality - will lead to many positive accomplishments.

[Naomi]

#330 Fear Of Disapproval

Realize that no matter what you do, you won't obtain unanimous approval. Therefore never let the fear of disapproval of others prevent you from doing the right thing.

Lack of approval will only distress you if you allow it to. Ultimately, any emotional power anyone has over you is the power you decide to give that person.

So many choices to make in life ... but the choice to not give emotional power to those who have a direct relationship to my life has been an ongoing, difficult lesson for me. One that I have to relearn almost daily. (:

My Daddy used to tell me, "Sis, what other people think about you is really none of YOUR business."

[Naomi]

Visualization is something that I find has worked well for me. Visualize, act and dress in the manner in which you desire to be.

Yet, it hasn't helped me to be a great pianist or gospel singer .... perhaps that will be Heaven's reward.

Seriously, pkrause I really appreciate these. Thank you for posting

[phkrause]

#334 Choose To Never Embarrass

Be totally resolved never to say or do anything that would cause another person embarrassment.

[Naomi]

#334

That is such a good resoluation ... can you imagine how good our world would be if we could all put this into pratice. Or, even if it was only in our family units.

[phkrause]

#335 The Benefits of Happiness

Happiness is more precious than wealth. Commit your total self to master it. What will it take to make a strong commitment? Be aware of all the benefits of living a joyous life. Beyond all emotional, health, and material benefits, when you experience happiness and joy, you will be able to attain profound spiritual awareness and love for the Creator.

As the revered Chazon Ish wrote, "When a person merits becoming aware of the reality of the Almighty's existence, he will experience limitless joy. All of the pleasures of this world are as nothing compared to the intense pleasure of a person cleaving to his Creator." (Emunah U'bitochon 1:9)

[phkrause]

#336 Recognize Your Greatness

A person is obligated to say:

"The world was created for me" (Talmud - Sanhedrin 37a), and

"When will my deeds reach the level of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob?"

The Torah attitude is that we are obligated to be aware of our greatness. Feel proud that you are created in the image of the Almighty. Pride in the elevation of your soul is not only proper, but is actually an obligation to recognize your virtues and to live with this awareness.

[phkrause]

#337 Humility With Greatness

The type of humility the Torah advocates comes only after one realizes how elevated he really is. Then there is value to humility. A lack of this awareness is not a virtue, but a major fault.

Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman was asked if his teacher the Chafetz Chaim, who was an extremely humble person, was aware of his own greatness.

"Yes," Rabbi Elchonon replied. "Although the Chafetz Chaim was imbued with great humility, nevertheless he frequently acknowledged personal responsibility for the spiritual welfare of his entire generation."

[phkrause]

#338 True Acts of Kindness

The less gratitude you receive for doing a kind act, the greater the value of the act. True kindness is when we do not receive anything in return for what we do.

Instead of feeling resentment towards the person who is ungrateful, take pleasure in doing a more elevated good deed. Focus on how your kindness towards that person is more altruistic.

Don't tell yourself, "How awful it is that I'm doing all this kindness and this person is not doing me favors in return." Rather, tell yourself, "This is a great opportunity to do a true act of kindness!"