Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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Don't Be Future Tense

It is not humanly possible for a person to prepare his future exactly as he would like it to be. No person can possibly figure out in advance all the myriad possibilities of what might happen in the future. It is not worthwhile to give excessive thought about what will occur in the future. Who can be certain how events will turn out? What now appears as good, can be the source of misfortune. Conversely, what you consider bad can eventually be the source of happiness. Every single person can verify the truth of this statement from daily events he is aware of.

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Awareness Of God Decreases Anxiety

The most prevalent illness of our generation is excessive anxiety. This subject has been dealt with at length by the philosophers and psychologists of modern times. Anxiety flourishes where there is a lack of awareness of the Almighty.

Awareness of God decreases anxiety, as it says: "The Almighty is my source of salvation. I will trust, and not be afraid" (Isaiah 12:2).

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Live Totally In The Present

Most of the thoughts that rob one of serenity have to do with being upset about the past and feeling anxious about the future. When you master the ability to live totally in the present and you are able to be calm about that present, you will have mastered serenity. One needs to plan ahead. This is one definition of a wise person. Do so serenely in the present.

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Courage To Face The Unknown

We all need to deal with the unknown. It's just a matter of degree. When we wake up in the morning, it's impossible to know how the day will turn out. True, some people's lives are more routine than others, but even they are facing the unknown.

View making major moves as a courage-development seminar. This applies when you change schools, change jobs, move to a new location, and everything similar.

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[Guest]

Amen

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Protect Peoples' Honor

The most important foundation of Torah living is to honor and respect the Creator of the universe. When you fulfill His commands, you are actively demonstrating honor for Him.

This is why Judaism considers humiliating another person a most serious crime. When you embarrass someone, you are doing much more than just causing pain. You are attacking his dignity. Recognizing the dignity of human beings is part and parcel of the honor and respect one owes to the Almighty.

When you understand this properly, your every encounter will be based on this inner respect. You will treat each human being with the respect of royalty. As Ben Azai says in the Talmud (Yerushalmi Nedorim 9:4): "'When G-d created man, He created him in His image' (Genesis 5:1) is the most important principle in the Torah."

Today, resolve that if you ever see someone trying to humiliate another person, you will speak up. You might say, "This person is special. Please be careful with his dignity."

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Learn from your Spouse's Response

Recall times in the past when you brought out the best in your spouse. How did you talk then? What did you do? Learning from what has already worked well, will enable you to more likely replicate similar patterns now and in the future.

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Train According To His Nature

A person cannot break his inborn personality. But everyone has free will to choose how he will act within the basic structure of his personality. Whether you will be righteous, evil, or average - it's up to you!

As the Talmud (Shabbos 56a) states: A person born with a tendency to shed blood makes his own choice as to whether he will draw blood for healing, or as a robber, or as a butcher, or as a mohel (ritual circumciser). That is, the choice of how to express your basic personality is the key factor in determining your greatness (or lack thereof).

King Solomon (Proverbs 22:6) instructs us to "train children according to their individual natures." When your approach is in alignment with the child's personality, he will continue in this positive path his entire life. If, however, you try to force the child (or anyone, for that matter) to act in a way that is inconsistent with his basic nature, he might listen superficially out of fear. But as soon as he can escape your authority, he will turn away from what you have taught him.

This concept is so valuable, that it is worth reading it five times - to internalize and remember it.

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Don't Be Swayed From Your Goals

Be crystal clear on your main goals in life. Then, when a situation arises that might disturb your peace of mind, ask yourself, "How does this impact those goals?"

When you realize this present situation does not have a major effect on what is really important, the problem will shrink in significance and your peace of mind will be restored.

Try it today.

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What Does Life Want From You?

Viktor Frankl, a Jewish physician who spent the years of the Second World War in the concentration camps at Auschwitz and Dachau, related, "I remember my dilemma in a concentration camp when faced with a man and a woman who were close to suicide; both had told me that they expected nothing more from life. I asked both my fellow prisoners whether the question was really what we expected from life. Was it not, rather, what life was expecting from us? I suggested that life was awaiting something from them."

The person who feels despair and discouragement is asking the wrong question. He asks what the world is giving him. As soon as he changes his question to what is the good that he can do, he will always be able to find an answer.

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Grow From Your Mistakes

Your feelings of self-worth need not depend on any external situation. Every human being has intrinsic value regardless of what he does. If you make mistakes and transgress, do not feel discouraged and lose your feelings of importance. There is no greater danger than that. Rather, when you have transgressed, strengthen yourself to elevate above those transgressions.

Keep your mind focused on your great potential for accomplishment. Regardless of how much wrong you have done in the past, you can always improve.

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Learn From Your Anger Tests

Anytime you become angry, view that as a lesson to gain more insight into yourself. What pushed your button?

Recall experiences when you didn't become angry, even though others might have. Be aware of what thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs enabled you not to become angry in the first place.

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Pass Along Life's Lessons

It is a praiseworthy achievement to overcome a phobia, limitation, or bad habit.

But a greater achievement is when that person shares his knowledge and experiences with others who have similar phobias, limitations, and habits. Not only are they helped, but they can pass on this knowledge to others, creating an expanding benefit from the original sharing.

Consider: If this information were to have remained in the first person's brain cells, it would have eventually disappeared without accomplishing a fraction of what it accomplished by being passed along.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book Kindness)

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For the Rest of Your Life

I met an elderly person who lived alone and had many physical problems and financial challenges. Yet this person was highly upbeat and happy. I wondered how he was able to experience such positive emotions with the difficulties he faced. I asked him about his life experiences and what were the most important lessons he learned about life that I could share with others.

A key point that he told me was, "When something goes well for you, be grateful for it for the rest of your life. I had a happy childhood. My childhood was happy no matter what else happened to me later on. For my entire life I can be grateful for the many things I enjoyed when I was growing up. I can be grateful for all the positive memories my late wife gave me. I can be grateful for the good things that people did for me throughout my life. Some of the people I am grateful towards are no longer alive. But my feelings of gratitude towards them remain."

"But isn't it difficult to keep on feeling grateful for what is no longer here?" I asked him.

"No. Once this becomes your habitual way of thinking it's automatic. It's not hard at all. I've met people who are angry and resentful towards people who are no longer alive. It makes a lot more sense to keep up the positive quality of being grateful."

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An Hour of Gratitude

There is a powerful exercise that will greatly help you upgrade your level of gratitude. Designate an hour a day to be your hour of gratitude. During this hour keep your focus on gratitude.

Isn't an hour a long time to do this? Yes, it is. When you actually do this exercise for a month, you will find the benefits so great that you will the effort to keep it up for an hour a day tremendously worthwhile.

And what about spending an hour a day focusing and thinking about what you don't like, what you are unhappy about, what you are resentful about, what you are envious of, what you find frustrating, what's not happening that you want to happen, what might go wrong in the future (also known as worrying), what has already gone wrong in the past. Isn't an hour a long time to spend on thinking these thoughts? Yes, it is. And many people would find it a great blessing to only think these thoughts for just one hour a day and the rest of the day to think more pleasant and enjoyable and beneficial and growth-oriented thoughts. Making a resolution to designate an hour a day reserved for thoughts of gratitude will make it easier for you to overcome a tendency to think thoughts that create stress and distress.

"But I don't have that many things to be grateful for," some people might argue. "You would be surprised!" is the answer. Try it out and you will find that you have much more to be grateful for than you usually are aware of.

If you go to a store to buy something, be grateful that the store is there. Be grateful that you have the money to buy what you want to buy, or that someone is willing to lend you the money, or that a store is willing to give you credit.

If you meet someone you know, be grateful that you have people who are friendly towards you.

If the telephone rings, be grateful that you can hear.

If you see anything, be grateful that you can see.

If you have food to eat, be grateful for that food.

If you read something, be grateful that your brain is functioning and you know how to read.

If you smile to yourself in a mirror, be grateful that you have the positive feedback that will help you master positive states.

If you begin to feel irritated or upset over something and remember that this is your hour of gratitude, be grateful that your memory is working and that you have things to be grateful for and that you can access a gratitude state rather than an unpleasant one.

If someone else needlessly makes a negative comment, you can say, "This is my hour of gratitude, and I would be very grateful to you if you could point out some things we can be grateful for during this hour."

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Control Your Desires

Feel pleasure in controlling counterproductive desires.

Repeat to yourself, "The more I feel the pull of my desires, the stronger will be my self-mastery."

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Build On Your Successes

Every time you accomplish anything, you do so based on your inner resources - your traits, emotional states, talents, and skills. These are all gifts from your loving Father and King, Creator and Sustainer of the universe.

Once you have actualized potential, it is yours for a lifetime. From there, you can keep building. Knowing this will give you a sense of confidence that will enable you to accomplish much more in the future.

Be aware of what prevents you from accomplishing even more than you already are.

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See Both Sides

Develop the habit of seeing things from the viewpoint and perspective of the other person.

Apply this when you find yourself disagreeing with someone. Even though you might still disagree, you will be able to address the specific concerns of the other person - instead of just repeating your point over and over again.

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Cherishing Opportunities

When someone deeply loves another person, he cherishes opportunities to express that love by coping with hardships for the sake of that person.

Similarly, a person who loves the Almighty will cherish periods of suffering as opportunities to express his love and devotion.

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Material Worries

A person who places his main focus on spiritual growth will not worry about material matters. He wants material goods for their function as tools for his spiritual needs. He therefore feels assured that he will be supplied with whatever he needs to meet his spiritual needs. If he lacks something, he realizes that he does not have a spiritual need for it.

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Shelve Those Worries

At times you may be obsessed with certain worries.

You do not want to worry the entire day. A useful technique is to set aside time slots for giving thought to those matters. When a worry arises during the rest of the day, tell yourself, "Now is not the time for worry. At 9:00 this evening I will think about it, but not now."

This gently pushes away worries, and gives you confidence that you have control.

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Acceptance Lessens Sadness

Sadness is a negative trait because at the root of sadness is selfishness. Feelings of sadness come from thinking too much about oneself. A sad person thinks: "I should have more than I do. I am missing a lot."

A person who thinks this way should realize that there is no reason why things should be any different than they are (although he would like them to be). That will make it much easier to accept reality.

If something can be changed, try to change it for the better. If it cannot be changed, demanding that things be different makes you needlessly unhappy.

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Focus On The Roses

"A person who gathers honey will not escape being stung by bees. A person who gathers roses will not escape being scratched by thorns."

The positive things in life also have negative aspects. Keep your focus on the beautiful roses of the world, and the thorns will seem trivial and inconsequential.

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Move Beyond Mistakes

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch wrote that even the most depressing awareness of having committed wrong need not irredeemably rob you of good spirits. Once you recognize your wrong deed, do not cover it up and let it gnaw at you. Rather view your act in a clear light, admit it to yourself and before the Almighty, and try to make up for it as best as possible.

Before the Almighty, earnestly promise to avoid such harmful acts in the future. From this determination, you can regain the serenity which is essential to fulfilling your goals and responsibilities.

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Ground Your Worries

Frequently people jump to the conclusion that they have a problem, when in reality there is nothing to worry about. To overcome this tendency, make it a practice to look closely at the available facts. By carefully investigating the situation, it will often show that your original worries were groundless.

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