Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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The Right Comparison

A person can potentially use comparisons to mess up his life. For example, a person can go to the most elegant restaurant which employs the greatest chef. He can order the most expensive food. Then for the rest of his life he can say about any other meal, "This isn't as good as the meal I once had in that five-star restaurant."

I recently related this example to a group of tourists. They laughed. And then one spoke up and said, "I just realized that I do this all the time. Just last night at the fancy hotel we were staying at, my first comment after the meal was, 'This wasn't as good as the food I ate at another restaurant five years ago.' I didn't realize how foolish this response is."

Our patterns of comparisons will either be a way we prevent ourselves from enjoying what we have, or a way by which we gain a greater sense of appreciation. A sage once said, "In spiritual matters look up and raise your sights. But when it comes to material and physical matters look down." That is, in spiritual matters keep looking for role models to motivate yourself to reach higher and higher levels. But when it comes to appreciating your possessions and your financial situation, look at those who have less than you and gain a greater sense of appreciation for what you have.

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Talk away Sadness

The Chafetz Chaim wrote that a person with a tendency towards sadness might be able to overcome it by engaging in enjoyable conversations. But great care must be taken not to talk against other people.

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Feeling Follows Action

Those who have internalized a "kindness consciousness" are fortunate. They act and feel in ways that enhance their life and the lives of others.

But what about those who don't yet feel "kind?" They should repeatedly do kind acts. Every kind act strengthens one's sense of being a kind person.

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Worry About Spiritual Concerns

A person who worries about spiritual matters no longer worries about material matters.

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Resolving Indecision

If a person is indecisive about which of two courses of action to take, the question to ask is: "Which choice will bring more honor to the Almighty?" The reply to this question is the path to choose.

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Righteous Indignation

Some people behave properly when they are calm and all is going well. But as soon as they become angry, they behave as if all the morality does not apply to them.

The foundation of Torah is to be in control of your behavior even when you find yourself in difficult situations.

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You Control Your Reaction

You do not have complete control over anyone else. But you do have a strong degree of control over your reaction to any given situation.

Knowing this will improve your skill of thinking instead of reacting emotionally. The more confident you are that you can control a situation using wisdom, the less chance you will lose your temper.

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Serene Visualization

Your power of visualization is one of the most valuable gifts the Creator gave you. With your ability to imagine, you can develop every positive trait, state, pattern, habit, and way of being that you wish.

Mentally picture yourself being serene. If you can do this easily, great. If you cannot yet do this easily, relax; eventually you will be able to. Visualize a relaxing scene where you would certainly be able to feel calm. See details of the most peaceful place you could possibly imagine.

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Facing Opposition

Frequently, when you spend a lot of time, money, and energy on a worthwhile project, some people will oppose your plans. It is easy to feel discouraged in such situations.

Rabbi Yechezkail Levenstein (Ohr Yechezkail: michtavim, p.53) wrote to someone facing such a challenge, "Don't pay any attention to those opposing your work. Every worthwhile project will face some obstacles and opposition." When you realize that it is normal for people to oppose you when you try to accomplish, you will find it much easier to tolerate and overcome the difficulties of that opposition.

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True Ambition

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler wrote: "When you have a true ambition for something, you will not give up hope. Giving up hope is a sign that you are lacking ambition to achieve that goal."

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Goals Of Communication

An important rule in communicating with others is anticipating how the other person will react. Keep asking yourself, "What is my present goal in what I'm saying?"

Be flexible. If your first approach does not get desired results, try another approach. For example, if you are trying to calm someone and what you say increases his anger, try saying something else or speaking in a different tone of voice.

When one strategy doesn't work, try another. This sounds obvious, but it's amazing how often this simple rule is violated. People tend to continue the familiar even when it does not bring them their desired results.

In communicating with another person always keep your goal in mind and ask yourself, "Am I getting closer or further away from my goal?"

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Follow Health Instructions

A famous physician used to relate that in his entire career of treating thousands of patients, he had only one patient who followed his instructions exactly without deviation. The patient was the great sage, Rabbi Yisroel Salanter -- because he regarded doctor's orders as the fulfillment of the Torah obligation to guard one's health.

Someone once came to Rabbi Salanter's room and found him perusing a medical guide to exercise. He had the book open and did every exercise exactly as described -- since the doctor had advised him to do so.

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Clarify Your Motivation

How can you clarify if you do good deeds because it's "the right thing to do," or merely to gain honor and approval? Ask yourself, "Would I do this if I were all alone and no one would ever find out about my good deed?"

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Learn To Differentiate

If your mind is focused on an insignificant incident, it can destroy your happiness if you allow it to. To feel happy, your mind has to be free of pains and misfortunes.

Learn to differentiate between productive thinking about problems as a means of solving them, and counterproductive dwelling on misfortunes which gains nothing positive and destroys your quality of life.

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Experience Is An Antidote To Fear

Experience is a great antidote to fear. If you are afraid to do something and you actually do it a number of times, it gets easier. When you do something by acting "as if" you had the courage to do it, the actual experiences automatically build up your knowledge that you can do that thing you previously feared to do.

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There Is No Time Limit On Gratitude

There is no time limit on gratitude. If you realize in the present that you hadn't expressed gratitude to someone for something that he did for you a long time ago, don't think that it's too late to express gratitude. Whenever you remember past kindnesses and favors done, express your thoughts and feelings of gratitude now.

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Courage is a State

Courage is a state. You don't have to be a person who feels courageous all the time in order to speak and act with courage. You can be in a joyous state for a few minutes, even if you aren't always joyous. You can be in a serene state for a while, even if you aren't always serene. You can be in a centered and balanced state, even if you aren't always this way. The same applies to courage.

We all have the ability to access a state of courage. At times we might find this easy, and at times it could be difficult. The more times you practice accessing courage, the easier it will become -- even in situations where you previously weren't able to do so.

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Take a Mental Note

It is easy to take mental capabilities for granted. Don't.

Try to feel pleasure in your ability to speak and think. Appreciate that you can study wisdom. Even the greatest scholar should appreciate his ability to pronounce words, to read sentences, and to study the basics.

A person who masters this appreciation will live a life of joy.

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Choose to Concentrate

Some people find that as soon as they open a book for serious study, intrusive thoughts creep in which disturb concentration. These may be memories of the past, worries about the future, recent quarrels and arguments.

Therefore, difficulty in concentration does not stem from a lack of thinking ability, but rather as a result of the power of one's imagination. By calmly pushing away those extraneous thoughts, you will be able to achieve greater concentrate on the task at hand.

Today, before you begin a certain task, try verbalizing your intentions. Telling yourself aloud how you want to apply your mind for a certain period of time often works to block out extraneous thoughts.

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Kindness Helps You Too

When you do acts of kindness for others, you are really being kind to yourself. Other people will do acts of kindness for you in return. Moreover, the Almighty will reward you for the good that you do for others.

When you behave meanly to people, you are acting against your own best interests, because others will repay you in kind.

Resolve to do at least one act of kindness for someone each day.

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Viewing Misfortune As Good

The brothers Rabbi Shmelke and Rabbi Pinchos asked the Maggid of Mez'ritch, "The Talmud (Brachos 54a) says that a person is obligated to bless the Almighty for misfortune with the same joy as when one blesses for good fortune. How is it possible to fulfill this obligation?"

The Maggid advised them to put the question before Rabbi Zushe who was extremely poor and lacked even basic necessities. Though he had many difficulties in his life, he was always happy. They went to the study hall where they found Rabbi Zushe, and told him the Maggid said he would explain how it is possible to bless the Almighty with joy over misfortune.

"I'm surprised that our Rabbi sent you to me about this," replied Rabbi Zushe. "You should rather ask someone who suffered some misfortune in his life. I have never experienced anything bad in my life. Only good things have happened to me."

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Everything is for the Good

Do not worry about possible misfortunes, since ultimately everything the Almighty does is for our good.

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Enjoy Your Blessings

The moment a poor person gains great wealth, he feels tremendous joy and is sincerely grateful to the Almighty. After a while, he usually forgets the initial joy and no longer takes pleasure in what he has. His focus shifts to trying to obtain more wealth. Regardless of what he has now, it is not considered sufficient.

Contrast this with the person who is aware that every single moment he and his wealth are entirely dependent on the will of the Creator. He constantly feels the original joy anew -- because this moment is not dependent on the previous one.

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Opportunities For Growth

If you have a positive attitude toward events of your life, even though to an outside observer your life might seem full of suffering, you nevertheless will live a happy life. What to others might seem misfortunes, you will view as opportunities for spiritual growth.

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Time Is For Growth

"Time is money," is an often-repeated cliche of the impatient.

Yes, it might be. But to the wise, time is for character development. Money is external to you. Your character is who you are. It is your essence. Developing your character is more precious than anything money can buy.

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