Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

[phkrause]

Respond To Arguments With Honest Humility

Respond to the outbursts of others with humility. Agree with any truth you see in their statement. By agreeing with part of the person's comments, you are likely to calm him down. ("Yes, I was inconsiderate." "I agree with you that I can improve." "That was a stupid thing I did.")

Conversely, when you try to defend yourself, an angry person will usually keep up his attack. Arguing with him adds fuel to the fire. When you agree with him, however, he will see that he has no reason to keep arguing since you already agree with him. Some people find this difficult to do, but try this a few times, and you will see that it works wonders.

pk

[phkrause]

Care For Your Health

The Torah obligates you to be as careful as possible not to do anything damaging to your health.

When you do something to guard your heath, elevate your behavior from merely a routine procedure, to the awareness of performing a mitzvah.

pk

[phkrause]

There's Always Something You Can Do

Someone in a difficult situation wrote to Rabbi Yitzchok Hutner, "There is nothing I can do to change the situation." Rabbi Hutner replied, "We always have the ability to pray. There is tremendous power in a chapter of Psalms when it is said with a broken heart and deep feeling."

pk

[phkrause]

Happiness Comes From Within

In the Talmud (Pirkei Avos 4:1), Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from every person. Who is strong? He who conquers his desires. Who is rich? He who is satisfied with what he has. Who is honored? He who honors others.

The Torah is teaching us to not to seek or demand happiness through any external factors, but rather to depend only on ourselves.

How do we see this concept expressed? The wise man learns from everyone (independent of any intellectual deficiencies in himself); the honorable person honors others (independent of whether others honor him); the wealthy person is satisfied with what he has (independent of how much or little he owns).

pk

[phkrause]

Acquire Inner Wealth

Only what you have acquired spiritually is truly yours. Therefore your main focus in life should be on acquiring positive inner traits.

A person who seeks only to increase his external possessions is lacking internal possessions, which are what really count.

pk

[phkrause]

Challenges For Growth

The goal of all education, preaching, and instruction is the development of mature individuals who will understand that difficulties in life are Divine-ordained challenges to overcome and opportunities for growth, and not excuses for defeat.

pk

[phkrause]

Be Patient In Your Growth

Be patient in your efforts to integrate and internalize new ideas, tools, and patterns. It is normal to experience ups and downs. Don't let difficulties discourage you. Growth and change are lifetime processes. Feel joy with every degree of improvement.

pk

[phkrause]

Admit The Truth

When you speak to others, admit the truth when they are right.

People often deny the truth because they are afraid that others will look down at them if they admit making a mistake. But in fact, most people will respect you more when they see that you have the moral courage to admit when you are wrong.

pk

[phkrause]

Marriage Is For Growth

The purpose of marriage is growth. By its very nature, marriage will continuously give you opportunities to develop your character. And the more challenging one's marriage - the greater the growth possibilities!

pk

[phkrause]

Our True Inner Worth

"How precious is man, created in the image of God." (Talmud - Pirkei Avot 3:18)

The inherent value of every person - regardless of accomplishments, wealth, or fame, - is beyond comprehension.

Someone who internalizes this concept cannot possibly suffer from an inferiority complex. Moreover, he loves and respects all other people.

pk

[phkrause]

The Test of Wealth

Rabbi Simcha Zissel of Kelm said: "It is equally wrong for a wealthy person to feel superior and speak condescendingly to others because of his wealth, as it is wrong for a poor person to feel inferior and speak submissively because of a lack of money. Both wealth and poverty are circumstances that provide tests, and are not reflections of a person's value."

pk

[phkrause]

Joy in the Face of Death

The Talmud (Brachot 31) relates that at the wedding of Mar, the son of Ravina, the Sages asked Rav Hamnuna to sing a song. This is what he sang: "Woe to us that we die! Woe to us that we die!"

Since we have an obligation to rejoice with the bride and groom at a wedding, how was it proper for Rav Hamnuna to say something that would cause sadness?

When you are able to recall death and nevertheless rejoice, this is true joy. This is possible when one is committed to serving the eternal God. But if someone needs to forget death in order to rejoice, the joy is incomplete.

pk

[phkrause]

Feel Joy In Serving With Joy

Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berdichev said:

"Feel joy when you serve the Almighty. And then feel joy that you felt joy in serving the Almighty!"

pk

[phkrause]

When You Can't Empathize, Care

When you empathize with someone, keep in mind that you can never know exactly how they are feeling. You can only make assumptions based on your knowledge of human nature in general, and this unique individual in particular. At times, the best thing to say might be, "I can't know exactly how you are feeling. But I see how strongly this affects you."

pk

[phkrause]

Encourage Others Strengths

Encourage people by helping them focus on their strengths. Most of us have strengths we don't always use. By using them, our entire life will be lived on a higher plane.

pk

[phkrause]

Appreciate Your Wealth

It is human nature to want what you don't have. We always want to acquire more.

A person is both wise and wealthy when you master the art of appreciating what you already have. View all that you have as a personal gift to you from our Father, our King, Creator and Sustainer of the universe. The outcome of mastering this is that you will live a joyous life. (Guaranteed!)

pk

[phkrause]

The Benefits of Trust in G-d

A person who has trust in G-d will be free from bothersome thoughts. He will not worry about what will be tomorrow if he has enough for today. He does not cause himself needless pain and discomfort by worrying that perhaps he will be lacking something in the future. A person who has trust in G-d feels no need to flatter other people. He will not veer from his principles for the hope of financial gain. Questions of how he will make a living do not bother him since he knows with clarity that it is impossible for him to have more or less than what the Almighty has decreed for him.

Even if there is a world crisis, he will not worry about his personal situation. He has trust that any misfortune which was not decreed upon him will not affect him. He walks in this world completely free from worries and sadness. He takes pleasure in what he has and feels no lack of possessions.

In short, if a person has trust in G-d, he has everything.

pk

[phkrause]

The Serenity Question

An effective question to ask yourself is, "If I were serene right now, what would I be like – specifically?"

If you were serene right now, how would you be breathing? If you were serene right now, how would your muscles feel? If you were serene right now, what would you be thinking? What would you be seeing?

pk

[phkrause]

Create A Mental Haven

When we travel to locations noted for their tranquil settings, we become calm and relaxed. We let go of all tension and stress. It is not the place that enables one to feel this inner peace. It is one's mind which accomplishes this. When the setting is just right, our minds let go of all the factors that prevent us from feeling serene. And serenity is what we experience. Your mind has the ability to create a serene personal haven. The place you can visualize can be truly perfect. When you mentally come to your personal haven, you immediately feel all tension and stress melting away. If you ever find yourself in a place that is especially challenging to your level of serenity, mentally visit your personal utopia.

pk

[phkrause]

Dependence On Honor

The Sages say a person's life is darkened if he constantly depends on others.

And a person who seeks honor is the most dependent person there is. He is constantly dependent on the approval of others, and is always concerned what they will say about him.

pk

[phkrause]

Insignificance Of Honor

Think of how tiny our planet is when viewed from outer space. It is so small and insignificant, that any person who demands honor from others is making a fool of himself.

Think about the leaders of countries who wage wars to gain more honor for themselves. From the perspective of the minuteness of our planet in relation to the entire universe, a person's seeking honor is ridiculous.

pk

[phkrause]

Enter The Other's World

When talking to someone who thinks very differently than you, especially when the person is being irrational, enter the other person's world and answer him according to his line of reasoning. If you have any hope of your communication being accepted, you must try to reply in a way consistent with the other's way of thinking -even if you feel it is distorted and illogical.

This is the principle of entering the world of the person you are communicating with.

pk

[phkrause]

Emulate The Creator

The mitzvah to develop our character is the mitzvah to "walk in the ways of our Creator." Viewing events and situations in this light will elevate the mundane, for in the ultimate view of life nothing is mundane. Every moment presents its unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

By acting and reacting in ways that are kind, compassionate, understanding, and sensitive, you emulate the Creator and bring the Shchinah (Divine presence) into your home. No accomplishment could be greater.

pk

[phkrause]

Stand Before The Creator

When you pray or do a mitzvah, you are standing in the presence of the Creator. This awareness is known as "fearing the Almighty."

The next time you pray, feel yourself standing before the Creator and actually speaking to Him. Feel the love of the Creator permeating your entire consciousness!

pk

[phkrause]

Serve The Creator

The greatness of a person is to be a loyal servant of the Almighty ("Eved Hashem"). The expression of this service is when a person strives to perform the will of the Creator. There are many different levels along this continuum; the key is to constantly strive to grow in this attribute.

Today, think of a specific spiritual obligation that is difficult for you to follow through on, but you would like to follow. Feel the great honor of being able to serve the Creator and Sustainer of the universe.

pk