Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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Renew Your Mood

Events by themselves cannot make you sad. It is your attitude toward those events that make you sad.

To overcome feelings of sadness, become aware of the message your negative thoughts are communicating -- about yourself, about the event, or about life in general. The next step is to change these negative thoughts to more positive ones.

Repeat positive statements to yourself. Your mood will change.

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Use 'All For The Good' With Care

The concept that "whatever happens is for the best" should be used with care. If misused, it could cause harm.

Only use the concept after the fact. When you are able to take action to rectify a situation, take that action. Do not rationalize laziness by saying that "whatever happens is for the best," and hence you are free from your responsibility to take action.

The Baal Shem Tov admonished someone who misused this concept: "It's a good thing you didn't live during the period when Haman made his decree to destroy the Jewish people. You would have said it was for the good."

Of course, there was benefit from Haman's decree. It brought the people of that generation to great spiritual realizations. But it takes wisdom to discern the true good in every situation.

Be careful not to allow negative things to happen because of carelessness, procrastination, or desire for comfort, and then justify your inaction by saying what is happening is for the good. Only when nothing can be done should you accept it for the best.

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Being in the Almighty's Favor

The Chofetz Chaim writes that because we are so involved in worldly matters, we lose our sensitivity to the great amount of joy we can potentially experience when performing a mitzvah (good deed). He offers the analogy of a man who was granted an audience with a powerful ruler. Imagine that the ruler is greatly impressed with the man, and has the conversation recorded in his personal diary. What a thrill! Upon returning home, the man's face would glow with elation as he retells his experience to all his friends and neighbors. Even if he'd previously been worried over personal problems, he'd quickly forget them! Over the next years, whenever he'd meet others at some gathering, his successful meeting with the ruler would invariably be the topic of conversation.

Says the Chofetz Chaim: If this is the joy of someone who found favor with a mortal (who will eventually die and whose glory is short-lived), all the more so should we feel joy when we doing something which finds favor with the eternal Creator of the universe. Even afterward, when recalling the good deed, we will feel a glow of pleasure. In fact, the Torah (Deut. 28:47) stresses that we should feel more joy in serving the Almighty than from all other pleasures that exist.

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Self Worth and Outside Factors

Someone lacking clarity as to what is truly important can still feel inferior, based on nonsense that has no bearing on self-worth.

An example is Nebechudnezzer, who was a monarch with tremendous power, but nevertheless failed to find satisfaction. The Midrash says he constantly felt embarrassed because he was short and fat.

He had a choice of focusing on his power and enjoying it, but instead focused on his physical shortcomings. He thus turned his life into a constant state of misery - when he should have rather ignored these things (which pragmatically made no difference anyway).

As a tool, ask yourself: "How does a certain factor prove that I am less of a person?"

Remember: Lack of skills and talents are practical liabilities, but in no way detract from the essential value of the person.

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Find Triggers for your Joy

Find triggers for your joy. Today, every time you hear a telephone ringing, hear a joyous inner cheer, "I am alive." Every time you hear a horn or bell, hear a joyous inner cheer, "I am alive." Every time you hear something that used to get you irritated or frustrated, allow yourself to hear a joyous inner cheer, "I am alive."

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All For One Or One For All

Some people need your help only once in a while. Others will need your help over and over again.

Each act of kindness is a separate entity of immense value. If you do 100 acts of kindness, these produce 100 sources of light -- whether they were done to help 100 different people or the same person.

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Gratitude For Encouragement

Someone shared with me that a phrase would run through his mind quite frequently. It was, "You can do it!" Whenever something he was doing seemed to become too difficult, he would hear an inner voice saying, "You can do it!" Whenever he felt too tired to take care of something he knew he had to take care of, he heard this inner voice saying, "You can do it!" This seemed so much a part of him that he took it for granted and didn't give it much thought.

When it was suggested to him to think about gratitude for those who had encouraged him, he remembered a childhood incident. He had an older brother who had repeated this phrase to him a few times. His brother was just three years older, but when he was little, those three years made a big difference. Without his realizing it, those words stayed with him and helped him innumerable times.

Over the years he had grown apart from his older brother and there was a lot of tension and stress in their relationship. They tended to avoid each other. Realizing how much his brother's encouragement had helped him, his sense of gratitude motivated him to renew their relationship. His positive feelings towards his brother aroused positive feelings in return. They both found it almost miraculous that they became so close.

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Humility Leads To Acceptance

A person with humility is able to accept misfortunes and suffering. The arrogant person, however, is not able to tolerate these events.

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View Insults From a Distance

Insults bother us because we're upset that someone failed to show us the honor and approval we demand.

But look objectively at our planet in relationship to the entire universe, and you will realize how ludicrous it is to be upset over such matters. Seen from outer space, our planet is merely a speck of dust, and we individual inhabitants are microscopic. This perspective helps decrease the distress of insults.

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Stick To the Topic In Arguements

Whenever you argue with someone, keep the argument limited to the issue at hand. Refrain from bringing in other matters which increase the emotional intensity.

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Courage Is Inner Control

There are many instances when we will lack the ability to control a situation. Some people feel strong when they feel in control. But they feel overwhelmed when they can't control events.

You always have the ability to control your mental attitude toward what occurs. Courage enables you to maintain an inner sense of empowerment even when you lack the power to control external events.

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[Guest]

You're up mighty early pk. You must have gone to bed early.

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You're up mighty early pk. You must have gone to bed early.

LOL, when I was working I used to get up at 5 am to start my shift at 6 am. Tried to be in bed no later than 10 pm. Now I still get up around 6-6:30, and get to bed no later than 11 pm.

pk

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Choose Happy Thoughts

You feel sad when you keep your mind focused on negative things. Your thoughts are the cause of your unhappiness.

You have a large choice of what to think about. Instead of causing yourself sadness, focus on happiness-producing thoughts.

Imagine that you have a tape recorder and are choosing between two tapes. One will make you happy and cheerful, while the other will make you sad and miserable. Only a fool would choose the tape that causes suffering.

Your mind is constantly playing tapes. It is always your choice between self-statements and thoughts that that will make you happy and cheerful, and those that will cause you misery. Consistently choose positive thoughts and you will live a happy life.

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It is not Upon You to Complete the Work

When you are involved in helping others, especially when it involves your family or community, you might feel overwhelmed with the sense of responsibility. This contributes to a lack peace of mind.

Remember the words of the Sages (Pirkei Avos 2:21): "It is not upon you to complete the work. On the other hand, you are not free to refrain from trying."

If you realize you are not responsible for what is beyond your control, you will retain your peace of mind - whatever the outcome.

Today, if a project you're working on does not produce the desired result, say to yourself, "Well, I know I tried my best. Now let's see how I can do even better the next time."

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Objects of Appreciation

Every time you go to use a utensil or instrument, take pleasure and feel gratitude for the fact that you have such an object available. If you focus on this, you'll be able to be lifted many many times each day.

Some common examples include: a pen, fork, cup, key, computers, clock, chair, stapler, and eyeglasses.

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Choose Your Reaction

Facts themselves are neutral. You do not have emotional reactions to facts. Your emotional reaction is always based on your subjective evaluation of any situation.

When you evaluate something as negative, awful, tragic, or a misfortune, you will feel sad, depressed, miserable, angry, or full of anxiety.

When you think that something does not affect you in any way and are apathetic to it, you will feel neutral.

When you evaluate something as good for you, you will react with happiness and joy.

It takes practice and effort, but ultimately the choice is yours.

Today, try reacting to one "negative" thing with joy.

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Gifts that Express Gratitude

Giving gifts is a powerful way to express gratitude. When you give someone a gift, think about what this person would actually appreciate. What does this person need? What would this person like to have even if he doesn't actually feel a need for it now?

When you see an item that you feel would be great to give someone as a gift, ask yourself, "Who am I grateful to that would appreciate this as a gift?"

Books are great gratitude gifts. A book can be read over and over again. And even when it is read only once, the book on the bookshelf is a frequently reminder that you are grateful.

There are many inexpensive items that would be greatly appreciated as a "Thank you" gift.

If you want to make sure that what you will be buying someone as a gift is something that this person would truly appreciate receiving, think of someone you can consult. You might ask someone to ask for you, "Is there something that you probably would not buy for yourself but would appreciate someone buying for you as a gift?"

A general rule to keep in mind is, "Don't just get someone a gift that you personally would like to receive. Give what you think this individual would like."

I once met someone who is considered an expert gift giver. "How did you develop your expertise?" I heard someone ask this person.

"I keep asking people, ‘What are the gifts that you have appreciated the most?' I even ask this to strangers I meet in lines at stores. I have heard a tremendous amount of people answer this question. This has given me a strong sense of what different people appreciate as gifts."

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Feeling Follows Action

External behavior that expresses enthusiasm is the result of an inner feeling of enthusiasm. But it is also true that by behaving externally as if you were enthusiastic, this will also develop a similar inner feeling. If someone is doing a good deed with external signs of speed and enthusiasm, then little by little that outward behavior will influence inner feelings. On the other hand, if someone's external behavior is lazy or depressed, his inner feelings will soon be consistent with that.

This is one of the most important principles for mastery of one's emotional state. Identify the mental states that you want and then act externally as if you were already in that state. This includes your total being: posture, facial expression, and even your tone of voice.

This method will give you increased joy, enthusiasm, confidence and serenity. With practice, you will gain true self-mastery.

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It's Easier The Second Time

Even very righteous people are likely to fall from their spiritual level from time to time. Nevertheless, when you do reach a high level, impressions of that level always remain, and enable you to more easily rise out of the lower levels into which you sometimes fall. Eventually, you will once again return to those higher levels.

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Express Appreciation

Some people find it difficult to express their positive feelings. If they are grateful, they hesitate to express it.

Today, think of someone you appreciate, and be resolved to let that person know about it.

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Enter People's Reality

Enter the reality of other people. Put yourself in their shoes. See life through their lenses. This leads to a sense of identification and oneness, and is literally the fulfillment of the mitzvah to "love others as yourself.

Of course, if someone's reality is counterproductive, don't stay there for too long! And the same applies to your own. You can't always change your external reality, but you do have the power to upgrade your internal reality.

Think of someone you have a difficult time understanding or being empathic with. The next time you talk to that person, try to enter his reality and see the difference.

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Turn Your Faults Into Virtues

The Dubner Magid offered the following parable: A king owned a magnificent diamond which accidentally sustained a deep scratch. The royal diamond cutters said no amount of polishing would remove the flaw entirely. But one expert volunteered, "I can rectify the flaw in a manner that will render the diamond more valuable than before." The king told him to go ahead, and with great skill he engraved rose petals on the diamond. The deep scratch served as the stem of the flower.

Similarly, said the Dubner Magid, a person can transform negative traits intovirtues. With creativity, you can use your mistakes and faults in a way thatwill gain you more than you would have otherwise.

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Show Some Compassion

When you are compassionate, you are emulating the Almighty.

Today, think of someone who would benefit from your compassion and express it as soon as possible.

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Positive Motivation

Be aware of how you speak to yourself in general, and what you say to yourself when you try to motivate yourself in particular. People who motivate themselves with heavy criticism likewise tend to do so with others also. Even if someone finds that this works better for himself than a softer approach, it is still not the pattern of choice when trying to motivate children and students. The harm to their self-image could be devastating.

Choose positive words of encouragement. Believe in the potential of children, students, and anyone else you want to motivate. And speak to them in a way that will motivate them to believe in their own potential.

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