Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#871 Feel Joy In Serving With Joy

Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berdichev said:

"Feel joy when you serve the Almighty. And then feel joy that you felt joy in serving the Almighty!"

(cited in Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.94)

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#872 When You Can't Empathize, Care

When you empathize with someone, keep in mind that you can never know exactly how they are feeling. You can only make assumptions based on your knowledge of human nature in general, and this unique individual in particular. At times, the best thing to say might be, "I can't know exactly how you are feeling. But I see how strongly this affects you."

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.217)

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#873 Encourage Others Strengths

Encourage people by helping them focus on their strengths. Most of us have strengths we don't always use. By using them, our entire life will be lived on a higher plane.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.218)

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#874 Appreciate Your Wealth

It is human nature to want what you don't have. We always want to acquire more.

A person is both wise and wealthy when you master the art of appreciating what you already have. View all that you have as a personal gift to you from our Father, our King, Creator and Sustainer of the universe. The outcome of mastering this is that you will live a joyous life. (Guaranteed!)

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp. 103-4)

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#875 The Benefits of Trust in G-d

A person who has trust in G-d will be free from bothersome thoughts. He will not worry about what will be tomorrow if he has enough for today. He does not cause himself needless pain and discomfort by worrying that perhaps he will be lacking something in the future. A person who has trust in G-d feels no need to flatter other people. He will not veer from his principles for the hope of financial gain. Questions of how he will make a living do not bother him since he knows with clarity that it is impossible for him to have more or less than what the Almighty has decreed for him.

Even if there is a world crisis, he will not worry about his personal situation. He has trust that any misfortune which was not decreed upon him will not affect him. He walks in this world completely free from worries and sadness. He takes pleasure in what he has and feels no lack of possessions.

In short, if a person has trust in G-d, he has everything.

(see Madraigas Ha'Adam - Darkai Bitochon, ch.1; Gateway to Happiness, p.82)

See Rabbi Pliskin's new book "Self-Confidence"

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#876 The Serenity Question

An effective question to ask yourself is, "If I were serene right now, what would I be like – specifically?"

If you were serene right now, how would you be breathing? If you were serene right now, how would your muscles feel? If you were serene right now, what would you be thinking? What would you be seeing?

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.75)

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#877 Create A Mental Haven

When we travel to locations noted for their tranquil settings, we become calm and relaxed. We let go of all tension and stress. It is not the place that enables one to feel this inner peace. It is one's mind which accomplishes this. When the setting is just right, our minds let go of all the factors that prevent us from feeling serene. And serenity is what we experience. Your mind has the ability to create a serene personal haven. The place you can visualize can be truly perfect. When you mentally come to your personal haven, you immediately feel all tension and stress melting away. If you ever find yourself in a place that is especially challenging to your level of serenity, mentally visit your personal utopia.

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#878 Dependence On Honor

The Sages say a person's life is darkened if he constantly depends on others.

And a person who seeks honor is the most dependent person there is. He is constantly dependent on the approval of others, and is always concerned what they will say about him.

(Rabbi Yisroel Salanter, Chayai Hamussar, vol.1, p.107; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, pp.272-3)

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#879 Insignificance Of Honor

Think of how tiny our planet is when viewed from outer space. It is so small and insignificant, that any person who demands honor from others is making a fool of himself.

Think about the leaders of countries who wage wars to gain more honor for themselves. From the perspective of the minuteness of our planet in relation to the entire universe, a person's seeking honor is ridiculous.

(Gesher Hachayim, vol.3, p.39; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p. 277)

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#880 Enter The Other's World

When talking to someone who thinks very differently than you, especially when the person is being irrational, enter the other person's world and answer him according to his line of reasoning. If you have any hope of your communication being accepted, you must try to reply in a way consistent with the other's way of thinking -even if you feel it is distorted and illogical.

This is the principle of entering the world of the person you are communicating with.

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 26:5; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")

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#881 Mastering Ideas Takes Work

The most valuable ideas for personal growth require a lifetime of study and effort to implement them. Mastering these ideas requires tremendous patience and perseverance.

Today, try increasing your level of patience and perseverance. When you encounter a frustrating situation, look at it as another opportunity to increase your patience and perseverance. These two qualities will enable you to reach your goals and to master the emotional states that will greatly enhance your life.

Write out the words "Patience and Perseverance," and put them in a place where you will see them throughout the day.

(see Preface to Gateway to Happiness)

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#882 Emulate The Creator

The mitzvah to develop our character is the mitzvah to "walk in the ways of our Creator." Viewing events and situations in this light will elevate the mundane, for in the ultimate view of life nothing is mundane. Every moment presents its unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

By acting and reacting in ways that are kind, compassionate, understanding, and sensitive, you emulate the Creator and bring the Shchinah (Divine presence) into your home. No accomplishment could be greater.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book "Marriage" - A Introduction, p.11)

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#883 Stand Before The Creator

When you pray or do a mitzvah, you are standing in the presence of the Creator. This awareness is known as "fearing the Almighty."

The next time you pray, feel yourself standing before the Creator and actually speaking to Him. Feel the love of the Creator permeating your entire consciousness!

(see Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto - Path of the Just, ch.19)

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#884 Serve The Creator

The greatness of a person is to be a loyal servant of the Almighty ("Eved Hashem"). The expression of this service is when a person strives to perform the will of the Creator. There are many different levels along this continuum; the key is to constantly strive to grow in this attribute.

Today, think of a specific spiritual obligation that is difficult for you to follow through on, but you would like to follow. Feel the great honor of being able to serve the Creator and Sustainer of the universe.

(see Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz - Daas Chochman Umussar, vol. 1, p.133)

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#885 Keep Your Honor

Do not feel any less self-esteem or become upset if other people speak or act condescendingly to you. The Sages have said that the honored person is the one who honors others. The converse applies: Who is a lowly person? One who tries to lower others.

Being an honored person is dependent on your behavior towards others and not on other people's behavior toward you. Why feel any lack of self-worth just because someone acts disrespectfully to you? Keep focused on your behavior toward others. When someone does not treat you with respect, it is his problem - not yours.

(Ahavas Maishorim, p.216; Gateway to Happiness, p.128)

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#886 Humility Comes From Gratitude

Awareness of your self-worth is not a contradiction to the obligation to be humble.

Only a fool is unaware of his positive accomplishments and abilities, and this is not humility. Humility is the internalization with every fiber of your body that everything - yes everything - you have is not your own. Rather, it is a gift from the Almighty who bestowed His kindness on you.

The more a person feels that what he has is a gift, the greater his humility.

(Ohr Yohail, vol.3, p.93; Gateway to Happiness, p.125)

[rudywoofs (Pam)]

This is one of the things that I've always maintained is a problem in the proffered idea of "dying to self" that is so prevalent amongst many Christians.

It's NOT wrong to know and feel that you've accomplished something, that you are intrinsically valuable because you are a person. Self esteem is so very important, and so many Christians want to kill that part of themselves - because they connect it with the concept of humility.

I say, STAND UP AND HAVE PRIDE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS!!! YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE GREATEST FAMILY IN THE UNIVERSE, AND AS SUCH, YOU'VE GOT STRENGTH, HONOR, AND UNIMAGINABLE UNTAPPED APTITUDES!!!

**getting off my soapbox!!**

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This is one of the things that I've always maintained is a problem in the proffered idea of "dying to self" that is so prevalent amongst many Christians.

It's NOT wrong to know and feel that you've accomplished something, that you are intrinsically valuable because you are a person. Self esteem is so very important, and so many Christians want to kill that part of themselves - because they connect it with the concept of humility.

I say, STAND UP AND HAVE PRIDE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS!!! YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE GREATEST FAMILY IN THE UNIVERSE, AND AS SUCH, YOU'VE GOT STRENGTH, HONOR, AND UNIMAGINABLE UNTAPPED APTITUDES!!!

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#887 Challenges Can Be Elevating

The more difficulty you encounter in fulfilling a good deed, the more joy you will feel - since this manifests a greater degree of elevation. A person's success is dependent on those good deeds that are difficult for him to do. A seemingly "minor" good deed performed with difficulty is actually much greater than many good deeds which are easy to perform (due to their being consistent with the person's nature).

When performing a good deed that is difficult for you to do, instead of thinking how awful it is, appreciate that the difficulty is what elevates you!

(see Chochmah Umussar; Daas Chochmah Umussar; Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Happiness," p.106)

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#888 Arrogance Blocks Improvement

The Torah ideal is for us to have a positive self-image, while at the same time we must keep a distance from arrogance.

Think of a way that arrogance might prevent you from seeing your faults or mistakes. In order to overcome our faults and shortcomings, we first have to recognize them!

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," pp.127-9)

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#889 Don't Demand Perfection

In chapter 9 of the famous book of Jewish self-improvement, Orchos Tzadikim (15th century), we find the following formula for happiness: "If a person obtains all that he desires and nothing causing him sadness befalls him, he will constantly be happy. His face will shine, he will be physically healthy, and he will age slowly."

How can we reach this utopian state? First, refrain from desiring what is beyond your reach. The simpler your desires, the greater the chance you will be able to meet their requirements. Anything extra you obtain beyond these demands will give you increased happiness, so you have nothing to lose and much to gain by lowering your demands and expectations. This does not rule out striving for realistic goals, only that you give up your DEMANDS for things that you may not be able to obtain.

Secondly, do not allow common day-to-day occurrences to cause you sadness. (e.g. traffic, burnt toast, etc.) Master a perspective of life that will enable you to at least accept minor hardships without becoming sad.

(see Gateway to Happiness, p.28)

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#890 The Power Of Autosuggestion

Utilize the power of autosuggestion for increasing your level of serenity. Autosuggestion must be worded positively. Repeat what you do want, not what you don't want. Therefore you say to yourself, "I am becoming more and more serene each and every day." Or even, "I am becoming more and more serene with each step that I take," when you are walking. You are not necessarily making a statement of present fact. You are telling your brain the messages that you want your brain to make your reality.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book, Serenity, p.86)

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#891 Patience is Based on Attitude

A teacher's patience with his students is based on his attitude toward them.

Rabbi Yaakov Neiman related that when he was a student in Europe before World War Two, he entered the home of his teacher Rabbi Moshe Rosenstein and observed that his teacher was testing a young child on what he had learned that week.

Rabbi Neiman asked him who the child was, and Rabbi Rosenstein whispered, "He's a child of the Almighty."

Noticing the puzzled look, Rabbi Rosenstein explained. "If I told you he is the son of this or that person, you would then feel that you know his identity. But the identity that an educator has to keep in mind is that all of his students are children of the Almighty."

When a teacher has this attitude, he will have the patience to educate each student at his own unique pace.

(Darkai Moshe, p.167; Rabbi Pliskin's Gateway to Happiness, p.207)

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#892 Put Troubles in Perspective

A great percentage of many people's suffering is based on illusion. People feel they have problems and difficulties, when in reality the problem exists solely in their minds.

When you have a problem, ask yourself, "How would I view this problem if someone else were in this situation? Would I consider this a valid problem or not?" This can help you gain a more objective perspective.

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#893 Don't Compare Situations

Much of the suffering we experience in difficult life situations is because we compare the present situation with times when things were better. If we learn to deal with the situation as it is, we will find it much easier to tolerate. For this reason, people who were born into that situation and never experienced anything better find it quite easy to enjoy life the way it is.