Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#747 First Hand Reports of Applying a Gratitude Exercise

I told a group of people to repeat, "I am grateful to my Creator" five minutes each day for a month. Some of the results were:

* "At first I found it difficult to keep this up. This gave me a jolt. The Creator is giving me life each moment of each day and He gives me the air I breathe. Why is it so hard for me to express my gratitude? This self-rebuke gave me a strong feeling of motivation. I was committed to use the power of repeating messages to myself to build up this gratitude.

* "I realized that I would only be able to repeat this for five minutes at a time if I would sing it with a tune. So I would sing this five minutes each day. It became my favorite song.

* "The first day when I heard this, I found myself having to wait for something to start. I began to feel frustrated. Then I said to myself, ‘This is a perfect time to repeat, "I am grateful to my Creator" for five minutes.' It totally transformed the waiting into an uplifting experience. Throughout the month, I chose potentially frustrating moments to practice this. After a while, the stirrings of feelings of frustration became a trigger to begin my exercise."

* "Someone saw me smiling while I was waiting in line at my local supermarket. He asked me if anything special is going on in my life. "There are a lot of special things that I'm beginning to become more aware of," I replied.

* "By repeating, ‘I am grateful to my Creator,' I began to realize that everyone who is kind to me in any way was sent to me by my Creator. I increased my gratitude towards those people and I increased my gratitude to the Creator of it all."

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#748 Results of a Mental Accounting

A few years ago a person who would be considered successful by most people's standards shared with me, "Looking back at my childhood, a pattern that I remembered having is, 'He has more than me.' 'His birthday present was better than mine.' 'He gets to travel to more interesting places.' 'He is luckier than I am.' 'He has more friends.' 'He lives in a nicer house.'

"On my fortieth birthday I made a mental accounting of my life. I thought about various traits and patterns that I had. The most distressful part of this mental accounting was that I noticed I wasn't very happy in my life. When I asked myself why, and thought about it, I realized that I kept feeling that I had less than others. I was told to look back at my childhood for this pattern, and that's when I realized how often this theme came up. There were many ways that others had it better than I did. And my mind was full of thoughts of not only having less, but of being less.

"I realized that if I wanted to live the rest of my life joyfully, I needed to do one of two things. Either I could make it my goal to be so successful in every way that is important to me that I would be far ahead of everyone I knew. Then I would find it easier to be grateful for my accomplishments, successes, and possessions. Or I could learn to gain greater mastery over my thoughts. I would choose to think thoughts of gratitude as my automatic way of thinking. The first choice would take so much time, effort, and energy that I would be in a constant frustrating race with others. I might never reach my goal and even if I did reach it, it was certainly not going to last. Eventually someone would pass me by. This way of thinking would give me many years of stress and frustration and there really wasn't a way that this would give me gratitude and happiness. It was obvious that the wiser approach would be to be grateful for what I had. Choosing this pattern of thought was one of the best choices I have made in my life."

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#749 "I am Full of Gratitude Today"

I would like to suggest an exercise for a day when you feel adventurous enough to try this out. For an entire day, respond to anyone who asks you how you are, "I am full of gratitude today."

You might even say, "I am full of gratitude today," to someone who didn't ask you how you are.

The first thought that goes through someone's mind is usually, "What happened special today?"

This gives you an opportunity to think about what happened special today. Each and every day there is always something special to be grateful for. The one factor that is always there is the fact that this day you are alive. By virtue of being alive today, today is special and you are entitled to be full of gratitude today.

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#750 What About Having to Face Daily Challenges?

A middle aged man who had a consistently sad look on his face attended a class on happiness. He challenged the Rabbi who spoke about being grateful for the good in our lives, "That's fine and well for younger people who have hope for a good life of abundance and accomplishment. They have a lot to look forward to. They have their health and have the energy to accomplish. But what about someone whose life is closer to the end than to the beginning? What about a person who faces daily challenges?"

"How have you developed as a person from the difficulties that you've experience in life? How have you developed into a more mature person and a deeper thinker because of your challenges? How have you gained from what you've experienced that you wouldn't have gained if you were to have an easy life of leisure?"

The person went on to say that his intellectual understanding of the purpose of life is much more profound and comprehensive than if he would have had an easy life. He has gained much wisdom from his life experiences. He has realized strongly that our purpose in life is not just to live a superficial life of pleasure. Life has a spiritual dimension that is really the purpose of our lives.

"Are you grateful for having gained this wisdom and depth?"

"I certainly am," he replied.

"That is what is meant by being grateful for challenges. It's not that you wanted to suffer. But that you are grateful for what you've gained spiritually and intellectually."

"This does make sense to me," the man acknowledged.

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#751 Spread A Little Cheer

When you are cheerful, you spread your good feelings to others. This enables them to gain from all of the benefits of being in a good state.

Remember how you felt when you were spontaneously cheerful. See what you saw. Hear what you heard. And feel what you felt.

Access this state whenever you interact with people - and they'll appreciate it!

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#752 Proper Prayer

Imagine what it would be like to speak to the wisest, most powerful being in the universe.

Realize that when you pray, you are doing just that. As you talk in prayer, nothing else in the world exists for you but Him and you. Talk to Him with the ease you talk with your father. At the same time, maintain complete awe and respect.

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#753 Joy Removes Envy of Others

When you personally are happy, it doesn't make any difference what others have. So the way to counteract envy is to increase your own level of joy.

By mastering joy, you will become free from envy.

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#754 Exercise Your Will-Power

Three times a day, use your will-power to take actions that you do not feel like doing.

Start off with some minor tasks that you know would be helpful to you but you tend to procrastinate. For example, you can apply this to acts of kindness that you could easily do, but tend to put off. Or, you can apply this to doing things for your spiritual well-being and to your health.

After maintaining this for one month, you will find that you have achieved greater self-mastery

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#755 Being Free From Anger

Hillel the Sage was able to remain patient even when someone purposely tried to provoke him. He felt no irritation whatsoever about any matter. There was no arousal of anger at all. This is what it means to be completely free from anger.

The level of Hillel is the level we should each strive for as regards to not getting angry. Of course it is not easy. But the first step is to increase your motivation and be totally resolved to conquer anger. Then feel joy with every drop of improvement!

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#756 Problems Bring Us Closer

Many people express gratitude to the Almighty for being saved from desperate and problematic situations. But surely they'd have preferred that the problem would have never have arisen in the first place!

This, however, is not the proper attitude. The purpose of all problems is that they should serve as a means for a person to become closer to the Almighty. Both the problems - and the solutions - are part of the Divine plan to help elevate you.

The next time you are faced with a problem, think for a moment: "This problem enables me to become closer to my Creator."

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#757 Will Power

A Jewish principle states that "nothing can stand in the way when you have strong desire to accomplish something."

Think of something that you would like to accomplish but are not doing all you can in this area. Increase your intensity of "will," and be totally motivated to utilize all your resources and energy to accomplish it.

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#758 Keep Focused in Prayer

Keep your focus on the meaning of the words you say when praying. Listen to what your mouth says. Do not try to force out distractions that disturb you from concentrating on your prayers. Rather, overcome those by thinking about the meaning of what you are saying.

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#759 Grow Ever Higher

A person constantly goes from one level to the next. If you're not going up, you're going down. It is impossible to remain on one level.

In what ways can you go up today?

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#760 Purchasing Power

Every time you need to buy something and you have the money to purchase it, feel pleasure and gratitude that you have the money you need.

When waiting in line in a grocery store, instead of focusing on how slowly the line is moving, focus on how fortunate you are to be able to buy the food you need. Thank G-d that the food is available and you have the money to buy it!

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#761 Hold New Ideas for Later

There are times when a person's heart and mind are closed and new ideas are not able to penetrate. In such instances, a person should keep those ideas in mind. Eventually when his mind is receptive, they will "fall into place" and become part of his automatic attitudes towards life and events.

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#762 Happiness Is Healthier

One of the greatest Sages of the 20th century, the Chafetz Chaim, writes: "Torah prohibits us from endangering our health. We must be more stringent in these matters than other prohibitions." (see Mishnah Berurah 472:11)

Lack of happiness is dangerous to one's health. A wide range of psychosomatic diseases are caused by emotions like sadness, worry, envy, anger, and anxiety The connection between our emotional and physical health is an idea that is gaining in popularity. The Torah has known this for centuries. As Rabbeinu Yonah (17th century) says in his commentary to Proverbs 17:22: "Happiness will heal a person from illness."

Don't wait to become ill. Increase your level of joy TODAY!

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#763 Laugh At Your Troubles

Today, be resolved to view potentially frustrating situations in a humorous way. If something trivial goes wrong, just laugh.

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#764 Grow From Your Mistakes

It is easy to feel frustrated and miserable when you make mistakes. But you can always learn from your mistakes and failures. If you use them as learning experiences, you can view them as positive. Although you would rather not have made those mistakes, you can now view them as stepping stones to growth.

Today, think of one time in your life where you came out better in the end after having made a mistake. Then appreciate the growth you experienced.

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#765 Love Lessens Offenses

When someone feels an inner animosity towards another, then even a minor offense can arouse great animosity. Even though the immediate incident could be trivial, the previous negative feelings create quarrels.

However, when someone feels love for another person, he is able to overlook many things, and to forgive whatever the other person does.

Increase your love towards others and forgive them.

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#766 Recall Your Successes

Right now, think of a challenge that you handled well. What did you think, say, and do that enabled you to handle it well?

There have undoubtedly been many challenges that you handled smoothly - and it might not have registered in your mind that you were handling a challenge at all!

As you remember your successes, you will feel more confident in your ability to handle challenges in the future.

From now on, every time you deal well with a potentially difficult situation, consciously add it to your mental data base. This will serve as a valuable resource for the future.

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#767 Use Mistakes to Deepen Trust & Intimacy

Utilize all that happens as an opportunity for growth. When your spouse makes a mistake, you have a chance to be compassionate and sensitive. You have a chance to judge favorably. You have a chance to fulfill the mitzvah of loving another person as yourself by treating your spouse the way you would wish to be treated when you make a mistake.

You have a chance to communicate love and concern. You have a chance to elevate your power of speech by helping to alleviate any distressful feelings over the mistake, instead of adding to it.

Think of the wonderful possibilities!

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#768 Learn From Other Couples

A basic Torah principle is that there are no accidents in this world. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. Throughout your life, G-d will send you messages. The wise person learns from everyone (Pirkei Avos 4:1). Be wise and learn from all the messages that have been sent your way in the past and those that will be sent your way in the future. Every time you see a couple interact it can be educational. Even listening to the way a newly married couple or to an elderly couple speak together in a line at the supermarket can teach you something. At times you will hear a positive way of talking that you can emulate.

At other times, you will hear a negative way of talking that you may find similar to your own. This can be a wake-up call for change.

There are also situations which will enable you to feel fortunate for your own situation. You will gain greater appreciation and gratitude for what you previously might have taken for granted.

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#769 Reflect Back Love and Respect

Maintaining love and respect when our spouse doesn't talk to us the way we wish is difficult. Maintaining love and respect when we feel unloved or disrespected is exceedingly difficult.

We all want to be loved and respected. This is a basic and universal need. Responding to a lack of love and respect with anger, resentment, animosity, and hatred is likely to increase these qualities in the other person. This will then increase the probability that you'll be on the receiving end of more of what you don't want!

If, however, we can transcend ourselves and reflect sincere love and respect - even to someone who lacks these feelings towards us, we increase the chances of receiving what we do want. This wisdom is found in Proverbs 27:19: "As water reflects a face back to a face, so one's heart is reflected back by another."

What would you like to see reflected back to you when you look in a pond? A smile or a frown? It's your choice. Whatever you wish to see, that is the model of what you need to project. This is the secret of how to influence someone to feel more positive towards you.

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#770 Hearing the Messages

There is nothing greater in the world that can give a person serenity and tranquility than awareness of the Almighty and trust in Him. This awareness is the tried and true method to alleviate all of a person's emotional pain. It will calm the spirits of the brokenhearted. This is the best path to tranquility in the world.

Today, when someone happens to throw you off balance, stop and ask yourself: "What is God trying to tell me?"

(see Rabbi Chaim Zaitchyk - Maayanai Hachaim, vol.3, p.175; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

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#771 Everything is for the Best

One concept that will make the most difference in the emotional quality of your life is... the awareness that all the Almighty does is for your benefit. There is no greater wealth than mastering this attitude. When you reach this level, you will not be broken or become sad regardless of how the Almighty sets up your life. You will accept whatever happens with love.

(see Rabbi Chaim Zaitchyk - Maayanai Hachaim, vol.3, p.176; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")