Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

[phkrause]

#627 Speak With Love And Compassion

Speak with sincere heartfelt compassion and understanding, and you will often see an immediate transformation in the person with whom you are interacting. Someone who was just angry, upset, or resentful will quickly become a much softer, open person. Add sincere, unconditional, selfless love, and inevitably you will see this transformation even in people who others call "difficult, challenging, or even impossible."

This type of true inner feeling takes time and patience to develop.

[phkrause]

#628 Peace Of Mind Essential For Growth

Peace of mind is essential for obtaining many virtues. Its absence leads to all types of shortcomings. When you have peace of mind, you can use your mind constructively. Lack of peace of mind breeds anger and resentment.

The quality of one's prayers and blessings is dependent on the mastery of one's thoughts. Above all else, one's ability to study Torah properly is based on having peace of mind.

[phkrause]

#629 Care For Others Material Concerns

One aspect of caring about people is respecting their property and protecting their money.

It is a kind deed to return lost objects, to give suggestions about how to buy things economically, to prevent damage to possessions, and to prevent needless waste.

In other words, caring for the material and financial concerns of others is a matter of your own spirituality!

[Gail]

pkrause, I really appreciate these words of wisdom that you faithfully post for us!

:)

[phkrause]

pkrause, I really appreciate these words of wisdom that you faithfully post for us!

Thanks

[phkrause]

#630 You Are A Soul

Only bodies experience stress. Souls are serene. Identify with your soul; stress and tension will melt away.

Your essence is not your negative thoughts and distressful feelings. Your essence is you soul. If you are stressed, or tense, or worried, or frustrated, or upset, mentally step back and observe your thoughts and feelings. This will immediately help you gain a more objective perspective.

[phkrause]

#631 Ask What You Can Do

When it comes to doing kindness for others, don't wait until you are asked. As soon as you recognize a need, volunteer to do something about it. Let your love for kindness be so strong that you cherish each opportunity.

Take the initiative to approach people you can help and don't necessarily wait until they approach you. You don't need a formal invitation to say, "What can I do for you?"

[phkrause]

#632 Personal Wealth Is Spiritual

Wealth and success in any area of material endeavor are not virtues that become part of a person himself. There is no intrinsic value added to a wealthy person that a poor person lacks. People are basically the same regardless of how much or little they have. As the popular saying goes, "My wallet can be embarrassed from his wallet. But I myself will not be embarrassed from him."

Contrast this to spiritual matters, such as Torah study and doing good deeds, where the more we grow, the more we ourselves are elevated.

[phkrause]

#633 Compromise Where Appropriate

Some people keep quarrels running for much longer than is necessary, due to their refusal to compromise.

While we shouldn't compromise on fundamental values, it is wise to compromise on personal preferences - for the sake of maintaining peace with others.

[phkrause]

#634 Correct Without Being Critical

Do not be directly critical of others because this will usually cause them to be defensive. People who do things that are wrong often rationalize that what they have done isn't really wrong. Even the toughest criminals, such as the worst murderers, don't like to admit having done something wrong!

There is a major difference between being critical, and having a positive influence on others by saying things with compassion and true caring. When you sound critical, the person on the receiving end is likely to deny your words, which will be perceived as an attack. And then you won't accomplish anything.

[phkrause]

#635 Live Your Dreams

Others cannot know the full extent of your goals, aspirations, dreams, visions, wishes, hopes, and prayers. These can be much more courageous than anyone else might imagine.

Here it is important to have a mixture of present reality, with believing that the Almighty can enable you to accomplish and become much more than anyone can know.

[phkrause]

#636 Be Grateful for all You can Do

Every single day we experience many hundreds of minor pleasures in both the material and spiritual aspects of our lives. We can learn to focus on all these common occurrences and recognize the kindness of the Almighty.

As an exercise in appreciation, try for one hour to feel grateful for every single thing you find yourself doing. When you read, be grateful you can see and read. When you walk, be grateful for the use of your feet. When you talk, be grateful for the ability to communicate with others. For a full hour do not take even the smallest action for granted. Be aware of every detail of what you can do. Anyone who does this daily for even a short time will have a much greater appreciation for everything he does.

[phkrause]

#637 Be Happy as a Lark

Although humans have a tremendous advantage over animals, you can still learn from animals. They have no worries or anxieties about the future. When you see a bird, dog, cat, fly, or bee, tell yourself, "Let me learn from this creature to live in the present." Learn from these beasts and free yourself from needless thoughts about the future!

It may seem a bit humiliating to have to learn from an animal or insect. But it's even more humiliating not to learn from them!

[phkrause]

Facing Obstacles to Community Work

If you are angered by obstacles beyond your control when trying to accomplish something for the community, the cause of your anger might be your desire for honor and approval. This feeling of anger is negative and does not lead to creativity and ambition.

When someone puts a lot of time and energy into a project, it is understandable that he might become upset when people create obstacles. But the anger won't melt those obstacles. Clear thinking is needed to find the best way to overcome those obstacles. And you think clearest when you are calm.

[phkrause]

#639 Leave Room To Learn

Leave Room To Learn

"The wise person knows that his wisdom is limited, but the fool thinks he knows everything."

Many people get upset when they discover they made a mistake or realize they do not know as much as they thought they did. This is often based on a person telling himself (albeit not with total awareness) that he already "knows everything." Hence he finds it painful to admit he does not know as much as he thought he did.

A wise man realizes he does not know everything and has pleasure in the quest for new knowledge.

[phkrause]

#640 Use the Ideas you Learn

Every person is unique. When you read ideas, try focusing on how they relate to you and your individual personality. Some ideas you'll want to incorporate into your world view. Other ideas you may want to share with someone else. (In this way, you'll be using those ideas as a tool for doing an act of kindness.

What idea that you heard had the biggest impact on your life? Think of someone you can share that with. If you can't think of a specific person, share it with a stranger. Simply say, "I heard this idea, what do you think about it?"

[phkrause]

#641 Apply What You Have Learned

When you hear a good idea, focus on what you can do on a practical level to apply what you have learned. Don't feel that you fulfill your obligation by just hearing good ideas. On the practical level, what can you do to improve?

[phkrause]

#642 Learn from Trial and Error

The greatest teacher in the world is known as: "Trial and error." This has given more people more wisdom than any other teacher possibly could. "There is no greater wise person than someone with experience."

What does it mean to have experience? It means that one has learned from trial and error. If everyone would get it right the first time, experience would not be needed.

Having the courage to try -- even though you might make a mistake -- enables you to learn from trial and error. This is a valuable reframe.

Instead of becoming overly frustrated or discouraged when you make a mistake, realize that you are now becoming wiser.

[phkrause]

#643 Feel Joy in Spiritual Growth

Rabbi Yeruchem Levovitz used to say that studying mussar (ethical writings) properly does not prevent one from being happy. Just the opposite, the proper study of mussar speaks to the soul. A person begins to identify with his soul and acquires a greater awareness of his Creator. He becomes enlightened, which brings true joy.

Sadness comes from not being satisfied with your present level of behavior, but still not wanting to work on improving. When someone sincerely strives to improve himself, he will feel joy.

[phkrause]

#644 Experiential Proof of Progress

If you feel discouraged about lack of progress in Torah study or spiritual growth, look back a few years and see how much you have grown from when you began. (Pachad Yitzchok, Igros Uksovim, p.218)

This experiential proof will supply you with an indisputable refutation to the premise that you cannot grow. Since you already have progressed, you have a good basis for believing that you can continue to improve.

[phkrause]

#645 Our Potential for Self-Improvement

The Chazon Ish (20th century Israel) described the level a person is potentially capable of attaining if he has a long term goal for self-improvement: "If a person constantly strives to improve his character traits, it is possible he will eventually reach a level that he no longer gets angry, will not feel hatred or resentment, will not take revenge nor bear a grudge, will not have ambitions of seeking honor, and will not desire mundane pleasures."

Today, view every person you find difficult as your partner in character development. View every encounter as an opportunity to develop your positive qualities.

[phkrause]

#646 Choose Your Responses In Marriage

You and your spouse are faced with constant choices about how you will speak and act with each other. Some choices will make you partners in fulfilling the blessings that you received at your wedding. Other choices will take you far away from those blessings. Hopefully, you and your spouse will make the wise choices that will make your life "an echo of the Garden of Eden."

[phkrause]

#647 Winners Finish First - In Conversation

In some areas, competition motivates us to do our best. But at other times, competitiveness can be a negative trait.

Work on transcending your competitiveness. Go out of your way to let another person have the last word in a conversation. This will put you in control of the trait.

[phkrause]

Excellent advice.

[phkrause]

#648 Learn to Communicate Clearly

When you are articulate, you will be able to get your messages across more effectively. Listen carefully to the way other people speak in order to learn from them.

And when you speak, watch the facial expression of the person you are talking with, to see if your message is being well communicated.