Daily Lift by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

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#673 You Already Own Self-Self-Confidence

You are already the owner of self-confidence. Claim your ownership. You don't have to travel to pick it up. It doesn't cost anything. It can be found in your brain and mind.

Say out loud: "I am the owner of a tremendous amount of self-confidence.

I will keep gaining a stronger and greater awareness of how easy it will be for me think, feel, speak, and act with self-confidence."

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#674 Limiting Thoughts Are Just History

Earlier thoughts about your self-confidence or lack of it are just history.

It's how you think right now that makes a difference.

Thinking that you are limited by your history is just that: a thought.

It's a thought about a thought. Your current positive thought about your upgraded self-confidence can replace and override a needlessly limiting thought.

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#675 Change Your Focus

There is a common tendency for people to focus on what they don't want.

Repeating that we don’t have self-confidence, or that our self-confidence is low, directs our focus on what we don't want. Instead, when we say, "My goal is to continually keep upgrading my self-confidence," we are focusing on what we do want.

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#676 Self-Confidence Helps You Reach Your Goals

Imagine what goals you would set for yourself if you would be in your ideal state of mind Using your ability to remember your greatest moments of self-confidence, recall some moments when you felt very self-confident. With your ability to use your imagination, imagine yourself acting extremely self-confident, imagine yourself acting extremely self-confident in the future. Now give yourself permission to imagine being given the gift of super great self-confidence.

Realize that the only limits to your imagination are the limits you put on yourself. Therefore make it a daily habit to imagine yourself having high levels of self-confidence.

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#677 Enjoy Helping Others

Experiencing joy in doing acts of kindness for others will increase the quantity and quality of your kind acts. When you enjoy doing things to help others, you will always be able to find enjoyable things to do.

The life of a person who loves to do acts of kindness will be a life of joy.

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#678 Self-Talk For Building Self-Confidence

We human beings talk to ourselves all day long. This is also known as "thinking." We keep up a running commentary about a multitude of things each day.

If your self-talk tends to minimize or lower your self-confidence, right now you can choose to use better, higher, and wiser self-talk.

Just being aware of what you are telling yourself about your self-confidence can be very beneficial. If you already say things that are positive and helpful, choose to keep the same pattern. You can even improve your positive self-confidence with even greater self-talk about your self-confidence.

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#679 The Power of Affirmations

Affirmations are powerful. They work for us or against us. Every statement we tell ourselves about who we are and what we find possible is really an affirmation. Positive affirmations build us. Negative affirmations do the opposite. So right now you can tell yourself a great affirmation: "I choose better, higher, and wiser self-talk each and every day."

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#680 Your Mind Impacts Every Experience

We all have a constant flow of thoughts and mental pictures in our minds.

These mental creations have a tremendous impact on how we feel, what we say and how we say it, and what we do and don't do it.

People who are self-confident have very different mental pictures and thoughts than people who lack self-confidence. People who feel very insecure feel that way because of what they say to themselves and what they picture about the past and the future. When they upgrade their self-talk and their mental images, they experience life very differently.

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#681 Masters of Self-Confidence

Masters of self-confidence have the ability to see and hear themselves being self-confident. Even if you don't yet consider yourself to be a master of self-confident, right now you too can choose to see and hear yourself being self-confident. It's up to you at any given moment.

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#682 Danger Alert

The purpose of danger is to bring us close to the Almighty. Those who use a dangerous event to elevate themselves become closer. Those who fail to do so become further away from Him.

In time of danger, it is against the Torah outlook to peacefully go about your business. Not paying attention and laughing off a situation shows a lack of recognition of the Almighty's involvement in our lives.

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#683 Sadness Hardens the Heart

Sadness itself might not be a transgression, but no transgression hardens the heart as much as sadness.

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#684 Not Feeling Slighted

A self-aware public figure once said, "When I enter a room and people stand up for me, it hurts me. But it hurts even more when they don't stand up."

Some people might think that they are not honor-seekers because they feel embarrassed when someone tries to honor them. A more accurate criteria is how they feel when others do not show them honor and respect. A person who has overcome his demand for honor will not feel hurt when others do not honor him.

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#685 Enjoy The Effort

When you toil in Torah studies, feel joy in your efforts even if you have not achieved your desired goal. It is a mistake to feel discouraged and to consider yourself unsuccessful if you have sincerely toiled in your studies. The toiling itself is success and you can feel satisfaction and joy.

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#686 Making the Self-Confidence Decision

I know people who consciously decided to be happy a number of years ago, and they have been happy ever since. Despite the everyday frustrations that cause many people stress, they are able to maintain their feelings of well-being. If they temporarily lose those feelings of well-being, they are able to quickly bounce back.

The same resilience applies to self-confidence. People who consciously decide to be self-confident are able maintain their thoughts and feelings of self-confidence. This decision is not a vow or an oath. Rather, it is the awareness that everyone is entitled to a genera state of self-confidence.

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#687 Your Personal Story About Your Self-Confidence

We all tell ourselves our life story. Even if a person doesn't consciously recognize that he is telling himself a story about his life, his life story has a major impact. Everyone's story about his life has major themes running through it. Some people have a highly spiritual life story. Some people have life stories about developing positive character traits while others don't. Some life stories are full of gratitude, others aren't.

Even if someone isn't satisfied with his life story until now, he can choose to change the theme of his life story at any given moment. It's never too late.

This concept of our personal life stories applies to our thoughts about our self-confidence. What stories do you tell yourself about your self-confidence? Change the way you view your life story to improve your self-confidence.

When you think about different situations that might arise in your life, see yourself thinking, speaking and acting with greater self-confidence.

These thoughts will lead to improved words and actions.

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#688 Self-Confidence to Ask Questions

People with higher levels of self-confidence feel comfortable asking questions. People with lower levels of self-confidence might feel that they don't have a right to ask questions. They might worry that the person they ask might be critical of them for asking. Or they might worry about appearing deficient for not knowing the answers.

If a lack of self-confidence ever prevents you from asking a pertinent question, ask yourself, "If I had greater self-confidence, what would I ask right now?"

Then, even if you feel a bit uncomfortable about asking, realize you can speak up and ask. Once you do, you will have a breakthrough. You will have proven to yourself that feeling uncomfortable about asking a question doesn't need to stop you from asking.

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#689 Discover Others' Needs

One of the great developers of character in our generation, Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, has frequently said that the first step to becoming a kind person is to be aware of the specific needs of each person you encounter. "What is this person missing?" is the question which must come to mind.

"It might sound easy," he writes. "But as soon as you try to do this you will see how difficult it really is."

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#690 Expect the Unexpected

There is a popular expression in society: "Don't leave anything to chance." This statement contains an implicit expression of arrogance and lack of awareness of the Almighty.

If your peace of mind is dependent on being certain that you have complete control over a situation and all the possibilities that might arise, you are bound to be disappointed. It is arrogant (as well as an impossibility) to think you have the omniscience to foresee every inevitability. To demand the impossible is to guarantee frustration.

Always realize the unexpected can occur. Plan as much as is appropriate, but realize that regardless of how much you plan there will be always be difficulties you had not previously imagined. By "expecting the unexpected" and being willing to accept it, you will have much greater peace of mind than if you unrealistically expect complete control.

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#691 Don't Let More Successful People Lower Your Self-Confidence

Your self-confidence is an inner attitude that depends solely on you.

Self-confidence doesn't mean that you have to be smarter, more talented, skilled, or successful than any other person. When it comes to self-confidence, you are not in competition with anyone else. Even if someone else is more self-confident than you, his self-confidence has nothing to do with your self-confidence. Life is not a competitive sport.

You don't need to outdo someone else to win in your "game of life." Life is not a race to see who is the fastest. Life is not a jumping contest to see who can jump higher. Life is a spiritual journey in which you connect with the Creator and your own inner spirit.

Even if you have limited your own self-confidence for a very long time by comparing yourself to others, you can proclaim your mental freedom at any moment. Those who have realized this experience a deep sense of relief.

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#692 Speak and Act Self-Confidently Even Without Feeling It

Your feelings determine whether you are experiencing happiness and joy or sadness and misery. Your thoughts, words, and actions create your feelings.

When your thoughts, words, and actions are at their best, you will experience great feelings. Right now and every moment of your life, you have the free will to choose your thoughts, words, and actions.

Regardless of how you actually feel, you can choose to speak and act the way you would if you were feeling very self-confident.

Feelings are very important. But they are not the main thing. What you say and do with your life will make the greatest difference in who you are and what you accomplish. You can still speak and act self-confidently, even if you are not currently feeling self-confident.

Don't be limited by a down mood or a negative state of mind. It's possible to feel insecure yet act and speak with self-confidence. In my experience, when people consistently speak and act with self-confident patterns, they usually internalize the awareness that they are more self-confident than they feel.

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#693 Become Totally Absorbed

There are some people who are so shy and self-conscious that they constantly worry about others view them. The solution to this problem is to become so totally absorbed in what you are doing or thinking about, that you become almost oblivious to the people in your surroundings.

Concern about how others view you often prevents you from concentrating. But if you calmly work on becoming involved in worthwhile pursuits, you will overcome this self-consciousness.

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Today's Daily Lift

Potential Thoughts

People with self-confidence are free to speak and act in ways that enable them to reach their potential. On the other hand, people who feel insecure and lack self-confidence might limit themselves greatly.

No human being can know the full potential of another person. Nor can any human being know his own full potential. You don't need to know your full potential before starting to speak and act in ways that will enable you to reach more of your potential. You only need to take the next step forward.

You don't need to know your potential self-confidence before you begin to think, speak, and act with self-confidence. You only need enough self-confidence to take another small step. That makes the process sound much easier, doesn't it?

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#695 Mentally Picture Reaching Great Goals

What would you love to achieve and accomplish? What would you feel great about doing in your life? What meaningful goals would you wish to reach?

Imagine achieving and accomplishing everything that you would wish for.

Picture yourself reaching your highest aspirations and your most meaningful goals. Visualize yourself speaking and acting the way you would wish with the highest and best character traits.

Practice seeing yourself saying and doing the greatest things. Practice seeing yourself achieving everything that you would wish to achieve. This visualization is a great step forward in building your self-confidence.

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#696 Boost Someones Self-Esteem

A person with low self-esteem tends to overlook the positive things he has done, and instead focuses solely on his failures and mistakes.

To help increase someone's self-esteem and confidence, help him become aware of his strengths and resources. Even if someone has many faults and weaknesses, he certainly has shown some positive behavior from time to time.

By pointing out how he has succeeded in a past endeavor, or how he was successful in learning at least one thing, or how he manifested strength and courage in a specific situation, you are giving him a powerful resource upon which he can build.

You have the ability to raise someone's entire self-image and encourage him to achieve important goals. This is a tremendous act of kindness.

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#697 Use Actions to Arouse Feelings

If a person finds that he lacks inner drive and zeal for good deeds, a technique to generate inner feelings is to behave externally as if you already feel enthusiasm.

We have more control over our actions than our emotions. So if we utilize what is in our power, we will eventually acquire what is not as much in our power. The external enthusiasm will then create an inner joy and a strong desire for spiritual growth.